


kenesis

by AcrylicMist



Series: kenesis-stuck [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Agonizingly slow burn, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Cannon is dead, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Dave Needs A Hug, Gen, Hospitals, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Major Illness, Meteor, Minor Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Mistakes, Multi, Recovery, References to Depression, SBURB, SGRUB, Slow Burn, So Many Pesterlogs, Suicide, Swearing, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Time Shenanigans, Tragedy, bullshit, classpecting madness, davekat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-05-28 06:11:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 20
Words: 130,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15042500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AcrylicMist/pseuds/AcrylicMist
Summary: Let's check what we've got.Teammates: [Yes]Time powers: [Yes]Planet: [Yes]Several Villains: [Yes]Plan: [Work in progress]A way to win the game: [Debatable][S]==>Dave, time to fix absolutely everything.





	1. Crash Landings

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is- a (mostly) cannon compliant full length Homestuck davekat novel because I'm trapped in this hell-pit forever so I might as well make myself at home. 
> 
> I've been working on this fic for a long time. I’ve been dying to start this journey for weeks but I’ve been stuck in editing hell. Hopefully that means this is actually not as sloppy as I think it is.
> 
> Endless love to my twin sister and beta ActuallyGenericlightbulb (AG), who knows nothing of Homestuck but sludged side-by-side with me through the endless mire of clowns and sburb antics ~~who still thinks that Barack Obama doesn't belong in this fic.~~
> 
> This one is for you.
> 
> -TrypticCognizen. (AcrylicMist, TC)

== > BE DAVE STRIDER

The floor beneath Dave’s feet shook with a tremor as they approached the crust of blue growing larger through the port of the lab as the meteor hurtled towards the planet.

“Is that it?” Tavros asked quietly, uncertain. 

“Yep. That’s it.” John answered. The control room was filled with both humans and trolls vying to get a view of the newly created Earth through the front port windows.

“It looks bluer than I imagined it.” Kanaya leaned towards Rose with a question, dipping her slim-horned head. “Are you sure that this is the right planet?”

Dave knew his home planet when he saw it, even when planets started to blur together after so long spent racing past solar systems.

“It better be.” Sollux spoke without turning around, his knuckles clenched around the control panel’s makeshift steering wheel. “These are the coordinates I was given, I swear if this isn’t the right shitty human planet I’m fucking turning this lab around.”

Dave sat back and took in the view. He never imagined that he’d see Earth from space like this. Even with three years on the meteor, such sights still took his breath away. The planet was small compared to others he’d seen and massive when compared to LOLAR or LAWAS, but Earth was familiar and expected and…and rapidly growing closer.

“Strider, get your ass over here!” Sollux said, a slight lisp in his voice. “We should be close enough to make contact.” A smaller tremor shuddered through the meteor.

Dave turned to the wheel, heart thudding in his chest beneath the red symbol of time. He had work to do. “Right, leave it to me.” With a few steps Dave pushed past where Terezi and Tavros were pacing in circles around the lab floor to join Rose and Sollux in front of the massive port window. Stars glittered in the distance and the blue and green ball of the Earth was hanging in the space between the stars. The sun illuminated the planet and there was the moon, mostly hidden but visible through a slight egg shelled crack that peeked like a shy face around the crust of the larger planet. God, it was beautiful. He’d really missed Earth.

“Here, Dave,” Rose handed him the phone Jade has assembled for them to use to make sure the military didn’t shoot them down. 

“Thanks Rose,” he said, completely straight-faced as he continued. “It’d be a shame if we blow up and die here and now after everything we’ve been through.”

“Sarcasm, Dave,” she warned, and he held back a smile from his ectosis. Below, the planet spun languid and peaceful, it’s sheer size immense and uncaring to the meteor rocketing at it full-speed.

“All right, let’s fucking do this,” Dave said as he picked up the phone. One of his more shitty remixes played as a dial tone as he spun through the stations to find something that wasn’t static.

“Hello?” Dave heard the crackle of a response. “Can anyone hear this?”

He listened hard but heard nothing over the sound of everyone else all trying to butt into the conversation. “Hey, can everyone shut the hell up?” Dave yelled, covering the mouthpiece with his palm. “I’m trying to make a call. Have some goddamn manners for a change, heathens.”

The largest tremor so far rocked the floor of the lab. Dave swayed with the sudden movement as the talk fell below a whisper. The mess of hair and horns below held still as the screeching of metal was heard from outside.

“Sollux? Rose? What the fuck was that?” Karkat finally dug himself on to the command floor with his hair ruffled and a grimace on his face. The troll sounded panicky.

“Welcome to the party,” Dave said, “glad you could join us.” Karkat scowled at him, the troll’s face uneasy as the floor continued to rumble.

“It’s fine KK.” The hacker was wrestling with the wheel, arms straining. “This piece of shit meteor wasn’t made to enter an atmosphere. It’s not like I can steer it or anything.”

“By my calculations it should begin to disintegrate when we reach the stratosphere.” Rose said, reading over the notes held close to her chest.

“Well that’s good to know,” Dave said. “Now hold on, I think I’m getting something.”

In his ear, words crackled into existence. Glorious words- proof that they weren’t the only living things left in the universe. He waited just long enough to disconcert that the voice was in English before he launched into his prepared speech.

“Houston, we have a problem.” Dave said grandly. He’d been waiting for this. Through the port window, the stars were being blocked out. Soon the earth was all he could see. White clouds covered the surface and obscured the shape of the land masses beneath. 

Faintly, Dave heard a reply. “Who is this? How did you get the password for this private channel?”

“Greetings, NASA,” Dave replied, ignoring their questions. “This is Dave Strider and I am currently aboard the meteor inbound for planet earth. This will be an emergency landing- just thought I’d give you guys a heads-up before we crash land somewhere and blow up some shit. Common courtesy and all that, to let the world know that we’re about to land and basically fuck up everything you thought you knew about the universe.”

Rose tried to take the phone from him. “That is not appropriate.”

Over the phone, he could hear the slightly curious scrambling of someone trying to decide if they believed him or not. The constant timer in his head kept its steady countdown. 

“Listen we hacked your signal,” Dave dropped the sarcasm from his tone. “I’m honest to God sincere about this; we are piloting a meteor and are about to do a majestic pirouette out of the belly of space and crash land on the surface of the planet. Look up- you should be able to see us by now. Do you see that ball of fire streaking towards you? That’s us.”

Over the phone, he heard a sharp inhale of breath, followed by a “Holy shit.”

“Okay NASA person now that you know I’m being drop-dead serious can you please patch me through to the guy in charge or the military or something? I don’t care if you have to hook me up with the goddamn president, I need to know that there won’t be any missiles or shit being shot as us on the way down,” Dave said.

There was a click, a burst of static, and a new voice that was sterner and gravelly took over. “State your name and business.”

“Name’s Dave Strider,” he answered, his voice rushed. “Human being, American citizen. Business is to not die in a fiery explosion.”

“Are you saying that you are on the projectile approaching earth’s orbit?” The voice asked. Dave liked this voice better. It didn’t play around. He pictured the face of a generic old gray-haired soldier, gave him a mental cigar, and guessed that portrait would be pretty accurate. 

“Yes.” Dave said shortly. “That is exactly what I’m saying.”

“Are you alone?”

“No.” He answered. The room was quiet, but a dull roar was building in his ears. Everything depended on how the next few minutes went. “I’m not alone.” He swallowed thickly. “There are several other humans with me, as well as a handful of other species.”

“What sort of species do you mean?”

“Well, about that.” Dave said conversationally, “There’s several aliens on board as well, but we mean no harm. We come in peace and all that. I’ll tell you the story of how we got here and what’s going on later, but right now we’re kind of being pulled in by Earth’s gravity.” Dave left out the million or so consorts on the four planets Jade was carrying, the one insane murder clown sneaking about somewhere, and the mute carapace wrapped in a bedsheet down in Can Town. He couldn’t have this shit get too complicated.

“It doesn’t matter if they try to shoot us down.” Jade said, flicking her ears. The Witch’s eyes shone green in the starlight. “I can take care of any missiles.” She promised.

“I know you can, but we need all the help we can get landing this rusty piece of shit safely.” Sollux was madly typing away at his keyboard, numbers and symbols flashing too fast for Dave’s eyes to follow.  
Dave could swear he heard the windows rattle as the lab shuddered. Out the window, they were close enough that he could see the shape of the North American continent forming beneath its white covering.

“Let me see if I understand this correctly,” the stern voice said. “You are claiming to be aboard the UFO currently occupying our airspace, with several other humans, with no explanation of how you got there or what is going on, and that there are also aliens with you?”

“Yes, that’s about it,” Dave lied. “Clean cut and simple.”

Karkat leaned closer, scowling. “Hurry up, Dave,” the troll said, “This was the one thing you had to do, so don’t fuck it up and get us all killed.”

“I’m trying, give me a break.” Dave said, covering the mouthpiece with his palm as his patience ran thin. “Can’t you understand how paranoid the US military can be?”

“Who was that just then?” The voice asked as if to prove his point.

“One of those actual aliens.” Dave answered, turning his attention back to the phone. An explosion shook the lab. He grabbed onto the railing to keep himself upright as the lab lurched to one side. The computer screens began flashing red and green error messages and warnings. An alarm blared.

“What the hell was that?” Karkat yelled. His face was painfully close to Dave’s ear and the noise, on top of the alarms going off, sent a thrill of honest fear through him. He could smell something burning, like fried wires. The scent burned in his nose.

“Don’t panic- I’ve got it.” Sollux said, but Dave got the feeling that everything was falling apart.

“Okay, listen to me,” Dave snapped into the phone. His heartbeat was fluttering wildly. He may have reached godtier but that didn’t mean letting the lab go up in a ball of flame was a good idea. He preferred his friends not burnt to a crisp. “We’re running out of time. We will not hurt anyone. We come in peace. Do not try to fucking shoot at us okay! If you do, we will be forced to defend ourselves. Don’t fuck with us and we won’t fuck with you.” He yelled into the phone, fingers hard around the phone until his knuckles turned white.

“Are you threatening us?” The voice crackled, indistinct and wavering. This was just great, the first new person he spoke with and Dave already didn’t like the guy, plus he may have just threatened what may have been the entire American government. He was doing _perfectly._

“If that’s what it takes to ensure the safety of those whose lives are at stake,” Dave said, growing frustrated. “I don’t have the time to deal with your politics and red-tape bullshit at the moment. You can’t stop us. We will be landing soon. It’s better to have us as friends right off the bat by not trying to murder us, right?”

There was no answer. The line had gone dead with static. Dave threw the useless phone away from him. “I hope I managed to convince them,” he said grimly. 

Rose gave him a small look of approval. “You did rather well, given the circumstances,” she said.

Jade was beside him suddenly, pushing up her glasses. “If they try anything I can stop the attacks.”

“I don’t think that they will attack,” Rose said, her voice sure. “If anything, the decision won’t be made before we’re too close and have touched down. Praise governmental red tape.” 

“I am curious about your government,” Kanaya said, reaching out to take her hand for comfort during the rough decent. “I look forward to seeing how you run things with more than one leader.” 

“Yeah, well. Sometimes having more than one leader leads to everyone being a shithead to each other and holding a pissing contest until someone busts out the bombs.” Dave answered, staring intently out of the window. 

They were well into the atmosphere by now. For the first time in three years Dave wasn’t floating aimlessly through space. Clouds filled his vision, fire began to burn around the metal and stone edges of the meteor. He could see the heat tearing through the porous rock as the meteor shook itself apart.

Jade reached out, grabbed John’s arm, and they both vanished with a flash of green light. Dave silently gritted his teeth. There wasn’t anything else he could do to help the lab land safely. That part was up to John, Aradia, and Sollux. Jade would make sure that nothing happened to the lab on the way down.

Dave repeated words of reassurance to himself as the shaking increased and the burnt smell grew and grew. Metal was melting. The air was scorching. Sollux’s hands were going mad trying to keep the meteor on track. Red and blue sparks snaked through the air around the psionic and Dave felt a jolt as something caught hold of the meteor and strained against the freefall they were locked in. He knew outside John and Aradia were doing the same as Sollux- trying to slow them down as much as possible.

The meteor streaked through the sky. He could hear Terezi cackling madly somewhere from the lab floor. He could see the surface of the planet, see the scars of rivers and swaths of forests. It looked like they were going to land somewhere in mid-western America, so at least one thing was going according to plan. The Great Lakes glittered like overturned spoons pressed into ground and filled with liquid silver.  
The floor shook again. Karkat was clinging to the railing, wide-eyed. A ceiling panel nearly hit him on the head as it tore free.

With a jolt, they broke free of the clouds. Suddenly, Dave could see roads and fields and even the shady spots of cities in the distance. The aura of fire around the front port window was tinged with red and blue. The ground was dangerously close- he could see the tops of trees, but he could feel it. They were slowing down.

Everything solidified in a single moment, grew sharper and more defined. They were still going too fast and the sky was running out. The meteor was going to hit hard. This was not going to be a soft landing, even with three godtiers attempting to snag the meteor out of the sky like a left-fielder with a flyball. 

“Everybody hold on!” Dave yelled, just before they crash-landed onto Earth in a ball of fire and scorched steel.


	2. To get things rolling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD I HATE CHAPTER 2
> 
> But seriously, second chapters, for me at least, always suck the most. It's like there's this big flashy intro and then instantly WHAM its time for... the expo chapter

The meteor, with the help of a psionic, a telekinetic, a veritable shit ton of good luck from Vriska, and John’s windy thing, managed not to entirely fall apart on impact like Dave had feared. It did, however, hit like a falling plane and took out a ring of trees in the middle of a hardwood forest somewhere.

The crash was, well, a crash. The jolt threw Dave down onto the floor and he promptly knocked his head bloody against the ground and saw stars.

Beside him Karkat climbed unsteadily to his feet. “Holy fuck, that was worse than expected. Is anybody dead?” Karkat’s voice sounded strained, and Dave turned to see Karkat pulling himself up. He had dust from the shattered ceiling tiles in his hair and a tight grimace on his gray face. Dave sat there blinking until Terezi’s cane snapped down beside him with a clack.

“Are you alright cool kid? I smell blood,” she said, sniffing at him. There was a line of teal dripping off her chin where she’d bitten herself in the fall, and she wiped it away with the back of her hand and offered it to Dave on the ground.

“It’s nothing,” he said. Dave reached for her hand and with a slight twist of thought hovered himself upright with godtier abilities until he got his feet under control. The lab was in shambles but thankfully was not actively on fire. Rose and Kanaya were taking a roll call and Dave heard Sollux cursing about his computers from here.

Dave could see the lip of the crater they’d made at eye level through the window. They’d landed upright. “Rose?” He asked, his heartbeat soaring with adrenaline. He felt ready to fight something. His skin crackled with the feeling.

Rose quickly answered. “Everyone is alright.” She said, dusting off her orange robe. “A few minor scrapes and bruising but nothing that won’t heal.”

Dave hid his intense relief behind a carefully blank expression. “And John, Jade, and Aradia?”

“They must still be outside,” she said grimly.

Dave nodded. “Then let’s go get them,” He said, striding over to the port window and rifling through his sylladex to grab a half-sword. Dave had been planning on using the legendary weapon to cut them a door but Equius decided he’d just punch through the wall instead. The metal shrieked and gave way as the troll tore the steel siding back.

“Careful, the metal’s still hot on the outside, idiot,” Karkat scolded. “You’ll burn yourself.”

Equius stopped dismantling the wall with his bare hands.

“If I may,” Dave said, sliding between the two of them with the sword’s hilt gripped tightly, “Stand back.”

Equius and Karkat backed away as Dave brandished the weapon. The wall was reinforced metal and strong enough to withstand the crash landing they just pulled out of their asses, but with four short strokes Dave had quickly cut a rectangle and the makeshift door fell back as he kicked it open. Smoky sunlight filtered in. The air smelled like burning trees and ash.

Dave was the first out of the door and he flew up out of the crater to get a look around. His crimson cape fluttered in the breeze.

The lab was fairly huge and they’d made a massive crater with the landing. The surrounding forest was on fire and the dirt had turned to glass around the impact sight. John streaked over to him through the air in a flash of blue.

“Is every one alright?” John asked worriedly, his eyes wide.

Relief filled Dave at the sight of his friend unharmed. “Yeah, we’re fine.” Dave answered. “Nothing but a few scrapes according to Rose. How did it go from out here?”

Aradia drifted closer and lit gingerly on the ground beside them in her red outfit. Dave landed beside the other Time player and ash collected under their feet. John continued hovering anxiously. 

“Good job on not getting us killed,” Dave complemented them.

“I knew that no one had been killed,” Aradia said excitedly, her hair wild and face smug. “Do you see the crater we made?” The troll was grinning ear to ear.

“Yep,” Dave said. “Where’s Jade?”

“I’m up here.” Jade landed beside them, gnawing at her lip. “I don’t think there’s anyone nearby. I had a good look around.”

Dave let out a sigh of relief. As curious as he was about meeting other humans, he still wasn’t looking forward to the mess this would inevitably cause. He took a second to brush ash off his shades with a sleeve. “Perfect, now let’s get this show on the road.” Dave said, as Karkat scrabbled up the steep ledge out of the pit and onto the surface of the planet. He made sure to watch Karkat closely as he climbed up the steep slope. The last thing they needed was the troll to break a leg by being too stubborn to ask for help.

Karkat and John spoke quietly for a moment, then quickly organized the group. Dave waded past the emerging trolls blinking cautiously into the sunlight to the Mayor’s side. The tiny Dersite dipped down and tore up a handful of scorched grass, staring at the wilted green as he cradled the handful close to his chest.

Dave thought Rose had counted everyone present, but Karkat vanished back into the lab and returned with the reclusive juggalo in tow. Dave didn’t realized the troll hadn’t crept out with the rest of them until after he saw those tall lyre horns dip through the cut doorway. His back tingled with unease. 

John extinguished the surrounding wildfire with some wind. When the meteor was empty Jade quickly shrunk it down to the size of a softball and tucked it into her sylladex to remove the evidence.

“I don’t think that’s the best idea,” Dave said when she finished. “We didn’t come here to hide.”

“I know,” she said, and Dave could make out the stars shining in her eyes. “But we still need the technology in the lab. It’s our home base.”

He sighed and looked around. Twelve Alternian trolls, one Dersite carapace, four Earthling humans, and one smoldering crater. He wondered how long it would take for the helicopters to start showing up.

“Alright, everyone remember- absolutely no abilities at all. Try to appear normal and harmless,” Karkat ordered. His hair was still rumpled and scruffy, but his voice was strong. “Vriska, Aradia, get rid of those wings. Try not to look like a fucking fairy please. The humans can’t know about godtier shit.”

“He’s right,” Rose sighed. “It will be hard enough explaining things without throwing SBURB into the mix.” With a snap and shift of light, her orange Seer’s robe vanished into her sylladex and left her wearing normal dark clothes. The two troll girls changed as well, leaving them wingless and wearing their signs. Jade followed suit, but she couldn’t exactly hide her dog’s ears.

Dave paused for a moment but eventually dug through his sylladex to equip a normal outfit. He had worn the red outfit of a Knight of Time for over three years and already he missed the drag of his cape at his shoulders. A broken record replaced the symbol of Time on his chest. Dave kept his shades on. Those weren’t going anywhere.

John looked ridiculous in a green suit that Dave barley remembered him making. John had grown so much that the sleeves were three inches too short, so Jade tweaked the size for him. John brushed his fingers through his hair as his feet hit the ground.

“Do I look presentable?” John asked, smiling widely.

“Simply professional,” Rose assured him. 

“Uh, should we be waiting for something?” Tavros spoke up. A few other trolls voiced similar questions.

“No, they are nearly here,” Jade said as she pointed to where a dozen dark dots flew through the sky, drawn by the smoke plume. 

“Okay, what the fuck are those? Drones?” Karkat squinted up at the transport racing towards them. “And why the fuck is the sky so blue?” Karkat said, already complaining. 

“At least this sun isn’t scalding.” Nepeta swiped at Karkat’s shoulder reassuringly. “It’s nice to feel so free again!” She kept on the opposite side from where Gamzee lurked wide-eyed as he took in the surroundings with a dull, stunned expression on his face.

“Those are helicopters. They are similar in function to drones, but they are used for transportation.” Rose was in full educational mode but only a few trolls were paying attention.

“Are they dangerous?” Vriska asked. “Should we be expecting an attack?” She crossed her arms, tapping her foot.

“They might,” Rose warned, “but I don’t think so. As long as we don’t do anything dangerously outrageous and keep calm we should get through this.”

“We might as well shoot ourselves in the faces now and spare them the trouble,” Karkat snarked grumpily. “Outrageous amounts of danger stalk our asses like we’re universal delicacies.”

“You ready, John?” Dave asked, ignoring Karkats’s outburst. “You and Karkat are the leaders." He began to hear the hum of the helicopter blades in the air. They were close enough that he could see the guns bristling from the sides of them like something out of one of John’s shitty action movies. He swallowed thickly and wished he still had a sword in his hands. 

Kanaya lofted the white banner she’d made, waving the white flag through the air.

“No weapons allowed!” John called out. “Stay unarmed unless told otherwise or they’ll shoot.”

The dozen helicopters fanned out in the sky and quickly surrounded them. There was nothing but obedient hands in the air from the ground. They all knew that this crazy chance was their only hope. They had run out of saner options. 

The helicopters hovered for a minute but didn’t open fire on the small group. The wind from the blades whipped ash through the air and again coated the outside of Dave’s shades with grit, which was surprisingly frustrating. He knew they looked harmless on the ground- nothing a bunch of unarmed teens- but Dave knew if a fight broke out… Jegus help the poor bastards in the air. A dozen attack helicopters wouldn’t stand a chance. 

“Those are your attack drones?” Sollux peered up at them through his bi-colored lenses. “They look fucking flimsy. What kind of ineffective flying machines does this planet have?” He scoffed. “I could knock them out of the air from here.”

“Do not,” Jade scolded. “We need them.”

Nothing changed about the situation for a sold three minutes. Maybe they were awaiting further orders? It made Dave uneasy. Maybe they were surprised to see the white flag? Or were they trying to discover the best way to attack?

The mechanical voice sounded out over the noise of the blades. “Identify yourselves.”

“Well that’s useless,” Vriska said, disgusted. “They can’t hear us from up there.”

John shrugged and yelled at the helicopter ineffectively. As if realizing their mistake, a single helicopter broke formation and began to sink to the ground.

“Hold your positions,” the voice ordered and the helicopter landed a hundred yards away. The others kept their watchful hovering above, motionless and sinister. Dave’s hair was blown back as the wind from the spinning blades buffeted them.

Four people exited the helicopter and walked over. They were all heavily armed and in military uniform. “Don’t move!” One of them yelled, guns raised and ready. “Identify yourselves at once.”

Dave disliked having so many guns pointed at them but John addressed the soldiers with a wide and eager smile.

“John Egbert,” he said. “American citizen, sixteen years old, from Washington State.” In his neatly pressed suit he looked dorky and harmless, like a buck-toothed teen and nothing else. “Can I please speak to someone in charge?” John asked, his blue eyes earnest and hands still raised. “It’s kind of urgent.”

“State your business here.”

Dave held back a grimace. This was not going as well as he’d hoped.

“Look,” John said and guns bristled up at him, “We don’t mean any harm. And we’re sorry about the crater. It was a rougher landing than we wanted.”

“Explain yourselves!”

“Not until I know who I’m talking to,” John said firmly. “Isn’t there some kind of protocol in place for things like this? Is there someone I can speak to?”

A lone figure stepped forward, shouldering his weapon as he came closer.

“You said your name was John?” The man asked gruffly.

Notable relief crossed John’s face at the words. “Yes, I’m John.” he said, “I’m a co-leader here. Is there anyone I can speak to? We can explain the situation.”

“Hmm,” the man’s eyes moved past John to take in the rest of the group, partially human, mostly inhuman. “Yes, I imagine that’s a good idea.”   
…

 

The world, understandably, flipped the fuck out.

Dave was herded across the state line; they’d landed in Ohio, of all the goddamn places they could have crashed-laded at, and they were driven over into Illinois in several black vans that John nearly shit himself for joy over. Chicago was a handful of miles away, and they were ushered into the nearby military base for what may have been the most boring days of Dave’s life, and on the meteor he’d had a lot of boring days.

He was quarantined for a grand total of 48 hours while the country questioned the living hell out of them. The gist came down to this- SBURB was real, aliens existed, Betty Crocker was evil, the first Earth had been destroyed in a meteor apocalypse and after three years, a fuckton of complete bullshit and some tasteful time shenanigans, this version of Earth had been brought back out of the void by their friendly neighborhood Knight of Time. 

At least it wasn’t so bad. Dave had the freedom to walk in only this certain hallway, and the privilege to only enter the approved rooms of the other players while the government and the CDC made sure no one had space rabies or anything like that.

He spent his time staring at the walls and devising increasingly complicated ways of breaking himself out of the top-secret military base. Step one- freeze time. Step two- walk out the front door, find the nearest Starbucks, and get a latte. Step three- show up late to one of the endless interrogation meetings with the cup and reap the looks on the agent’s faces. 

Sometimes time powers made things too easy, but yeah. Time shit was mostly terrible. He had to take whatever small victories he could. 

So that was exactly what he did.

The meeting room was white and bland, and he slid the door open and walked in without knocking, the still-steaming cup in his hand.

Rose rolled her eyes at him as he took a seat, lounging in the hard chair. “Sup,” he said. “Sorry I’m late.”

The lead agent paused, mouth still open. “Where did you get that?” He asked.

John, Rose, and Karkat were seated at the table with five unknown agents whose bureaucratic origins were obscure. NASA, CDC, DHS, Air Force, Dave didn’t really care either way. They all looked the same in their pressed coats and slicked-back hair.

Dave shrugged. “You know there’s a Starbucks down the road,” he said. “It’s only like a twenty minute jog.”

The man’s mouth tightened. John was trying and failing to hide his grin. Karkat dug his claws into the tabletop and scowled at him, nearly hissing. 

Dave tipped the cup at him. “You want some, Karkat?”

The troll just growled at him, “You’re a fucking moron,” he said. 

Rose, John, and Dave didn’t respond to the growling noise. They’d had three years to desensitize to the trolls and whatever weird angry noises they spewed and they knew that Karkat wasn’t actually going to do anything except pout from his chair, but the agents didn’t know that and exchanged nervous looks at the growl, which did sound like it promised imminent throat-ripping and murder. 

“Alright,” the agent decided not to pursue the topic, “back to the itinerary, if you please. Why are you here? What is it that you want from us?” He asked, and the other agents leaned in with worried and anxious expressions.

Dave nearly sighed. There it was, the heart of the matter. Government smucks don’t fuck around- they got straight to the point. 

John and Karkat shared a look, and John cleared his throat before he began the long task of explaining. Dave let his mind wander during the recap. It was nothing he hadn’t heard before. He mostly watched Karkat, taking careful note of how focused his eyes were and if his hands were steady. He kind of wished that the troll had accepted the coffee. Some sugar might do him good. 

Dave didn’t want to sit through SBURB For Dummies 101. Just hearing what happened said out loud made his back crawl with tension and his hands ache to fiddle with something. After the clusterfuck of SBURB and the trolls and the green sun and that whole business with Jack and his teleportation-based murders, the bottom line was that Dave needed a respite before moving onto the next stage of the game. Fuck, they all did. They needed a safe haven where they could focus on bringing down the Condense, merging sessions with Jane’s team, and ultimately winning the game. 

But those were the side goals of detouring to the new planet earth. The main purpose was this: Karkat was sick, sick with something he'd been born with that was slowly getting worse. 

And out of all sentient species in all of existence, Earth had the best health care and they were out of other options.

So with some tricky gameplay exploitations Dave had been desperate enough to risk creating a copy of earth, and then, by majority vote of everyone save Karkat himself, they were actually suicidal enough to fly the lab all the way out to it in hope of a miracle because none of them were ready to lose the mutant-blooded troll.

Dave wished he’d taken a picture of the baffled scientist’s faces when they found out that these kids had been jumping star systems and that their task, the reason they had traveled so many lightyears, was to fix a sick alien from another planet and universe. That would have been a photo worth having. He was sure the Head of State had a heart attack when she heard the news.

The meeting did not go well from there and Dave got kicked out in record time. Something about ‘extremely unhelpful’ and ‘you can’t just walk out of a maximum-security outpost what the fuck?’ He didn’t really care. He’d stopped listening long ago. 

Dave lounged around the small plain room he’d been given, trying not to imagine it as a cell. It would have been about the same size as a cell but there was no lock on the door. The fact didn’t make him feel any better about it. He still felt the loss of his freedom like a wound. The untouched latte sat forgotten and cold on the empty table.

There was a light knock, and before he had the chance to refuse Rose stuck her head in.

“Dave, how are you doing?” His ectosis was alone. “We’ve been trying to work out the logistics of us staying here.”

“Hey sis,” Dave greeted her. “Nice to know that the records of us still exist here,” he said, leaning against the bare wall as he put his hands in his pockets. “I have an actual birth certificate on file even though I was never born. Funny thing. Bro must have forged everything. I could even get a learner’s license if I wanted to.” Dave was old enough to drive. The thought would have held meaning to him once, but now it was just an odd fact of existence.

She clucked her tongue at him. “Mind if I come in?”

“I don’t see why not,” Dave said. To be honest, he was glad she was here. It broke the monotony of the off-white walls nicely.

“You never actually answered my question,” she said. She was wearing a purple skirt and the shirt with a RL embroidered on it with thread that matched her eyes. She looked put-together and professional in a way that made him super aware of how scruffy he looked. Her face was worried. Something sour coated his mouth.

“I didn’t think we’d make it this far,” he admitted, looking at her, the span of the white floor between them. “It’s weird to think that we’re not the last humans anymore.”

“All thanks to you,” Rose said. She sat next to her brother and fixed her headband to avoid looking at him for too long, like direct eye contact would spook him. 

“Jade helped,” Dave said, shrugging. “And even then it was a miracle our plan worked and that we’re here and I can finally have some goddamned Chinese food. The alchemiter and cookalizer were absolute shit at making authentic ethnic foods.”

“Did you ever try to make anything other than your three recipes?” She asked, trying to raise the mood. “And you’ve already hit up the Starbucks, I see.” Her pointed gaze settled on the cup and he shrugged again. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt very shruggy lately. Any hard question or probe and his shoulders would automatically just… shrug. He tried not to think too hard about why.

“Nah, but a guy can still complain,” Dave replied. “How’s everyone else doing?”

“The trolls are adjusting much faster than I’d originally anticipated,” Rose said. “And it’s a pleasant surprise. The world has had their collective minds blown so far out of alignment that I’m sure a few of the more ambitious brains made it into the Furthest Ring.” She joked, but he could sense her unease beneath her light-hearted expression.

“We didn’t have a choice,” Dave reminded her, “and isn’t it better like this? We may have killed the planet but at least we brought it back. At least we managed to do something good with these fucked up godtier abilities other than get killed repeatedly by immortal foes.”

Her brow tensed, crinkling the skin around her violet eyes. 

Dave quickly apologized. “Sorry Rose,” he said, shrugging. Dammit, there he went again with the shrugging. It was becoming a problem. “I guess I’m still adjusting to some things. I didn’t mean to get so dark.”

“I wonder why that is?” Those same violet eyes scrutinized him, and he could see the psychoanalysis inbound and decided to abscond to safer topics. He knew what she’d say, and he’d been doing a great job with keeping himself from looking too hard into the subject. He didn’t want to hear the same words he’s been avoiding from Rose, because then he’d have to listen to them. 

It was far easier to ignore everything and just… shrug. 

“So what’s the plan now?” Dave asked. “We can’t just sit in this base all day being pestered by government underlings about things they can never understand, waiting on some medical miracle. How long do you think it will take for the trolls and us to start getting antsy and rebellious?” Personally, he’d give it thirty-six hours and fifteen minutes. Less if Vriska was involved. “I don’t want anyone to get hurt because of our decision,” he said. 

“Careful, Dave- your Knight is showing.” Rose’s face was carefully contemplating something, and he could tell she already had a plan.

“Spit it out, Seer,” Dave said. If she wanted to draw out titles he could do the same. “What have you been planning?”

The Seer of Light smiled. “You got me,” she admitted, “Kanaya and I have already set into motion a plan that I believe will be beneficial for all involved. But it might not seem like that at first, I’ll admit.” She sounded somewhat wary, as if unsure how Dave would take the news.

Now he was curious. “What is it you two have done?” He asked curiously, straightening his shoulders.

“We, well,” she fumbled for the right words to explain. “We can’t go too far from here. The military would not allow it and we need to stay nearby in order to give Karkat a chance at the best medical help. So we decided that it would be beneficial to have a set routine, as well as the capacity to grow as players.”

“What are you getting at?” Dave asked coolly. It wasn’t like Rose to beat around the bush like this.

“I’ve had us, all of us, enrolled in high school,” she admitted. His blank expression didn’t change. She went on. “I think it’s a good idea.” She said, “It will help us all learn how to fit ourselves into society again, which we will need to do once we win SBURB and create the new universe. We need to decide how we want to do that and seeing how our society works for the trolls will be immensely helpful. It should foster better teamwork and communication skills while not being overly risky. It should also keep us from going stir-crazy and give us something else to focus on rather than Karkat’s condition.”

“So let me get this straight,” Dave said, his head spinning. His hands left his pockets to rub at his chin. He felt tired already, even though it was only seven o’clock. He blamed it on the meteor-lag as he continued. Was meteor lag even a thing? It was totally a thing. “The first thing you do when we reach the new planet is enroll us all in school? What the fuck Rose? One of the only things I was happy about SBURB causing was the downfall of the modern educational system.” For all his bluster, a part of him wasn’t that surprised. It was such a Rose thing to do.

“If you think it’s a bad idea, you don’t have to participate,” Rose said, then paused sadly and looked away. “I know school and grades don’t really mean anything to us now, but think about it please.”

“I can’t think about it,” he said. “If I do, I’ll see that you’re completely right and I don’t think my feeble educational pride can take that.” That got a small smile out of her. “Who else knows about this?”

“Including you, everyone.” She shrugged. “There were mixed results, but I think this it will be a success.”

“You told me last?” Dave asked, confused and just a little hurt.

She raised a slim eyebrow in accusion. “You haven’t been the most conversational team member lately.” She said starkly, and guilt settled into his chest and made it feel tight. Shit. 

“I’ve been feeling down,” he said. It was a weak excuse but it wasn’t a lie.

“We all are feeling a little down with the recent turn of events,” Rose reminded him promptly. “But don’t forget that we are all still here and dealing with Karkat’s illness as well. Avoiding him and everyone else isn’t going to make the problem go away.”

“I haven’t been avoi… Was it that obvious?” Dave asked. He kept his expression blank and smooth. He didn’t like the idea of being seen, but his twin could read him like an open book and it made him uncomfortable. 

“Blindingly,” Rose answered, rolling her eyes with an exaggerated wince. “I don’t want to interfere, but Dave, really?” She shook her head at the Knight in annoyance. “You know how badly you hurt Karkat when you shut him out. You two were so close.”

He shied away from the memory. He locked it away with the dozens of other things he didn’t want to think about. “I’m sorry,” Dave said numbly, “I’ll try to do better.”

She must have heard the tremor in his tone because she paused and leaned against the wall at her side, mirroring his position.

“Dave,” she started, “I won’t say anything about how I understand what it is that you’re going through, but you have to deal with it better than this,” Rose said. “You are the Knight of Time and the team needs you to be present and focused, and right now Karkat needs all the support he can get.” Her eyes shone briefly with yellow light. “School starts bright and early tomorrow morning,” she said primly. “I expect to see you there.” Her tone let him know that this was not a suggestion. 

Dave forced his face into a hopeful smile. “I’ll be there,” he promised.

She shut the door behind her, and the noise echoed in the silence she left behind. He stared at the closed door, then closed his eyes and let out his breath.

Rose was right, and he had to fix this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK yes now its time for plot! Beginnings are always hard but at least they're over fast


	3. Having a plan- the plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like my chapters with some meat on them, but this is still in the beginning so this chapter isn't as long as others that will follow.

In the morning Dave got up bright and early and tried not to hate the feeling of being productive so early. He’d gotten used to sleeping in on the meteor, where night and day didn’t exist and there was no set schedule for anything. Since he was actually going to meet new people today and the idea was still surreal, he tried to put a little extra effort into his appearance. By that Dave brushed out his hair and made sure his shirt wasn’t wrinkled. He couldn’t afford to look like he cared. It was an ironic line he tread, and he tread it well.

Dave wasn’t sure what Rose had done, but they had been supplied with basic school supplies and a separate school bus was rerouted to pick them up from the base. He almost felt sorry for the driver when he pulled up and found 16 kids of various species waiting under an armed guard.

Aware of Rose’s eyes on him, he drifted over to where John was eagerly waiting to climb aboard. “So what do you think about this idea?” He asked curiously.

John paused and looked over at him. “I think it’ll be good,” he said, blue eyes steady behind his black glasses. He pulled the strap of a backpack up onto a shoulder, “It’s better than just waiting for something to happen.”

To the side, the bus sat idling and the sound of the wheezing engine nearly sent him into a fight-or-flight response. There was a reason he’d always walked himself to school back in Texas. Small, enclosed moving vehicles crammed with other sweaty people made his skin crawl.

“Alright everyone,” Rose called out. “Remember the rules. Failure to comply with these rules will result in your immediate removal from the school grounds. Trolls, I know some things will seem strange and unfamiliar to you, but please try to go with it. This is a learning experience for us all.”

“So that means don’t kill anyone!” Karkat yelled, “No murderous antics whatsoever. Am I understood?” He was looking dead at Vriska, who grinned a fanged grin at him innocently and instead pointed to Gamzee, who was quietly lurking to the side. Karkat scowled at her, then at the highblood in turn.

“What if we’re attacked?” Eridan asked. He was wearing that stupid purple cape still, for no reason that Dave could see. Nothing but the deepest irony could defend that fashion choice, and he didn’t think the troll was studied enough in the Ironic Arts to appreciate the difference. Pity. There was a lot of ironic potential there just going to waste. “What do we do then?” The seadweller asked. 

“There is no one going to attack us,” Rose said sternly. “This school will be filled with other teens our age. There is nothing to fear from them.”

Dave guessed that part was true. What could a normal civilian do to them that was actually dangerous? Half of them would just come back if killed, and the others were fucking hard to keep down. Trolls don’t die easily, and the players had dealt with god-modded bosses with genocidal tendencies before. High school was minor in comparison.

So why was Dave so restless as he watched the bus slowly fill with players?

The yellow doors opened and carefully Rose climbed on, followed by Kanaya to set a good example for the rest of them. Nepeta and Equius followed, and soon the rest filed in until only John, Karkat, and Dave were left. The clown had followed after Tavros, much to his relief. He’d spend some time figuring out what the fuck was going on with that particular troll later. If Karkat trusted him enough to let him board the bus, he’d stick by it. 

But that didn’t mean that Dave would let the highblood out of his sight. 

John shrugged and went ahead, and Dave put his head down and followed behind Karkat, thankful to be last. The seats were filled by that point, so he was forced by fate to sit with Karkat directly behind the driver, who by this point was sweating profusely as the parade of aliens and young gods passed him by along the aisle. The man flinched a little when he and Karkat took a seat behind the driver, and Dave hoped that the government had upped to poor man’s pay enough to cover the cost of his eventual mental breakdown.

The bus jolted a little as it started forward, and the motion made Dave’s hands curl into fists. He hid them against his leg as the trees began to flash by.

Karkat leaned in, his voice lowered into a yelled whisper. “Is this really normal?” Karkat asked. “Do human wrigglers really do this every day?” His voice contained no confusion and his gray eyes were steady, the question cautiously extended in a hint of the former friendship they’d experienced.

This was his chance. No way was Dave not taking it. “Yep,” Dave said grandly, patting the cracked red seat cover between them. “What do you think?”

“I think I’ll reserve my judgement on the matter until I actually see what this school of yours is like,” Karkat said gruffly.

“No, not that,” Dave said. “School sucks and that’s a universal constant. What do you think about this whole plan of ours? The whole grand shebang?”

They entered onto a main road and the troll was absorbed in looking out the window. Dave knew he’d heard the question, but he didn’t want to interrupt the way Karkat was looking around as they drove past the first houses. The troll’s gray and yellow eyes were wide, and his dark hair messily tousled higher up on one side in a way that made his heart ache. Dave’s throat tightened as Karkat refused to answer. Instead the troll looked around a little longer as they passed houses with trees in the front yard and white picketed fences, a bright and colorful kindergarten’s front entrance, a young couple out for a morning jog with their dog. It was a tour of blue-collar America in snapshots out a cracked public school bus window, and Dave could appreciate the irony at work until Karkat finally answered.

“I didn’t believe that your planet would be so peaceful,” Karkat said softly. “Not really.”

Dave swallowed. “I know what you mean,” he said, just as soft. “The game hasn’t paused or anything, we’re all still playing. But it doesn’t feel like it. Peace?” He didn’t restrain the incredulous tone of his voice, the distrust there. “It seems like a dream. The kind of dream where you know everything is fake and that you’ll just wake up at the end.”

The corner of Karkat’s mouth ticked upward on one side. “So you do understand how badly everyone is fucking up by coming here,” he said darkly, still staring out the window of the bus. “But this was all part of your idea. You’re the person who thought creating a copy of earth was a good idea.”

Now it was Dave’s turn to fall silent. Normally he’d fill awkward silences like this with utter bullshit and ramble on until he’d thought of something else to say to change the subject, but there was no escaping. They both knew how fond SBURB was of fucking them over, how unforgiving of mistakes the game was.

“So,” Dave said, unused to feeling so awkward and at loss for what to say next. “How are you feeling?”

“Fuck off, Strider,” Karkat said, not even bothering to look at him. Dave had pushed too hard, asked the wrong thing to fast. He tried not to feel hurt, but inside him something was shriveling up as the troll continued, still looking out the window, but now the action was more of an excuse to keep his face turned away. “It’s not like you give a single fuck about me so just drop the act already.”

Dave thought about ignoring him too and just letting the conversation die. There was something tragic that sat between the two of them, between the cracked red cover of the benchseat and all of the words that Dave couldn’t say. It was a silence made of old bruises and hidden hurts and it squatted between them, festering, like a broken bone that had healed wrong.

It would be easier to back off and go back to how things were. The path from here was riddled with uncertainties and confusion and Dave wasn’t sure if he was allowed to go after what he wanted. It would hurt too much to fail, and the risk was enough that he nearly kept quiet and let the rot of past mistakes between them fester and putrefy any chance of reconciliation with Karkat that he had. 

But Rose’s words from earlier sat heavy inside his mind and his fingers were sweating. There was a lump in his throat that he had to swallow around in order to force the words out.

“That’s not true,” Dave protested. “I do care.”

Karkat’s eyes cut sharply to him like he was trying to dissect what Dave actually meant, like there was a puzzle hidden in his words and if the troll pulled the individual syllables apart he’d solve the riddle. It was unnerving in its clarity, and Dave felt like he’d said too much and too little. 

Dave’s expression was hidden safely beneath his shades, and the troll bared his teeth. “Well you sure could have fooled me,” Karkat snarled, and Dave reminded himself that he deserved this. He’d pushed Karkat away first.

“I know, I know I fucked up,” Dave said, a little louder than anticipated. He brought his voice down again, but was cut off.

“Like hell you did,” Karkat said angrily, disguising his hurt with angry words. He wore his anger like armor, fell back on rage because it was the easiest emotion to let out. “I still can’t believe that I was stupid enough to think of you as a friend on the meteor, you know, before you dropped me like I was the festering leavings of a diseased cholerbear.” 

Dave couldn’t admit why he’d acted like that, not yet. Not if he wanted to escape being butchered by Karkat’s sickles in a school bus. And he was still unsure of how to admit it, even to himself.

“Will it make you feel better,” Dave asked, “if I admitted I was an idiot?”

Karkat huffed at the human, grumpy and uncertain, but just maybe starting to thaw.

“Alright,” Dave said, throwing his hands up. “You forced me. I’ll admit it. I, Dave Strider, fucked up. Are you happy now?”

He thought he that he saw the smallest of smiles creeping across the troll’s gray face. Karkat didn’t say anything, because if there was another person as emotionally constipated as Dave was on this side of the universe, it was a grouchy troll with nubby horns and a chip on his shoulder against the world.

It didn’t matter though. Dave understood.  
…

 

The school day began in an amazingly normal way. The student body and teaching staff had been informed about the special (Read: Batshit insane) circumstances of the players arrival prior to this morning.  
Seeing the sterile halls and red tile roof of the normal high school as they drove up was unsettling. There was a crowd gathered up front to catch a glimpse of the trolls. Everyone wanted to see the aliens, and the feeling of having so many strangers around made his skin crawl. Dave was in sensory hell.

Plus, he was actually given a math test by the stern faced homeroom teacher. Geometry. Further proof of his attendance in actual hell. LOHAC was by far preferable to Algebra ll. He drew a nakodile eating numbers down the side of the test and turned it in.

Dave stuck close to Karkat all morning, which wasn’t hard. Rose had made sure that they were all together in the school, so that she could keep an eye on everyone while they adjusted. It was surprisingly hard for Dave to act normal around teens his own age. He felt separated from them, caught up in this bubble of complete isolation, alone and every bit as alien as the trolls. He was not having a good day.

He’d gone to public school back in Texas, before Sburb, before fire that rained down from the sky as he watched Jade chuck a dead crow into the kernalsprite. This wasn’t his school, not even close. This wasn’t even his town. His town was a sunburnt city, sprawling and tangled, oil and blacktop and steel and the constant urge to look over his shoulder. 

Dave could feel their eyes on him, and was thankful his eyes were hidden and that no one was brave enough to try and talk to him. He had nothing but bad memories of school, and… fucking hell. He didn’t think that it would be this hard to not flinch every time the bell rang.

Rose was in heaven. She was even diligently taking notes. Most of the trolls looked intrigued or bored by the actual learning part of school, but he guessed it was better to be in class than stuck at the base all day staring at the ceiling.

Not that Dave was doing anything different right now. Above him, the black and white tiles of the ceiling shifted in and out of focus. The droning voice of the teacher went on and on, and the checkered tiles spun around and in and over themselves until they resembled the battlefield on Skia and he looked down, slightly nauseous as he blinked away the image.  
…

 

Before.

They had to wait a whole year for John and Jade to catch up to the meteor with the White King’s battleship. By that point he and Karkat had slowly begun to move past their immediate hatred into tentative friendship, and most of the trolls were dead due to either Eridan, Gamzee, or Vriska. That was around the time when Karkat had his first attack.

He’d known by then, as they all did, that Karkat was a mutant. The troll’s bright red blood was not normal and marked him for death on his home planet. They all knew that it marked him for death in other ways as well, but until that point Dave had never really considered the fact that Karkat would probably not live to see the end of the game, that he was fatal.

The trolls didn’t have a name to call it, but it was some sort of fatal genetic illness due to his mutation. Rose likened it to cystic fibrosis or muscle dystrophy, but it wasn’t like the human diseases at all.

He had been in Can Town with the Mayor when it happened and Dave been contemplating whether or not he should rile Karkat up for no particular reason other than his own boredom and because he liked the way the troll looked when flustered and blustering in his false anger. Skin flushed, eyes wide, passionate and painfully present without the slightest clue about how Dave’s eyes slipped across the planes of his face and how badly he wanted to test how soft that mop of messy hair was. And those lips when drawn back from his teeth… By that point, Dave was already slipping.

Trolls were snap and slash, danger and violence mingled together and messing with them always held a question of whether or not Dave would get bitten for his efforts. Back in Texas he’d liked to irritate wild raccoons much to the same effect, except raccoons didn’t fight back half so well when prodded at and after day after monotonous day he and Karkat both needed a distraction. At this point in the game Dave’s biggest enemy was boredom. 

This time, his grand plan of assholery to enrage Karkat didn’t work. It was a slight tap, just a knowing nudge with his foot, just enough of a tap for the troll to feel it from where he was draped across the floor of Can Town and for his mouth to tick upwards as he moved his own foot away. Dave stretched his leg out further across the blue chalk dust, tapping him again, and the troll ignored the obtrusive leg wordlessly and moved further away. This time Dave had to scoot closer to nudge him and stretch across the floor to bring his foot to rest against Karkat’s in a knowing nudge and when he did the troll snapped.

“What’s your problem, Strider?” Karkat asked brashly, pulling his legs away from Dave with a jerk. “Are you really stupid enough to go looking for a strife with me?”

Was that a challenge? Dave couldn’t ignore the way his heart raced at the thought, even though the idea of actually fighting the troll was… unappealing. “Naw,” Dave said, “I’m just looking for a little leg room. No need to be so stingy, Vantas.”

“Stingy?” Karkat’s eyes sharpened at the word, and he rose upwards to stare at the other Knight. “That is the most pathetic excuse for your repetitive wiggler actions. I’ve never seen anyone with such a need to beg for attention like this before.”

“So you think I’m pathetic?” Dave quirked, only half joking as he watched the blood rise to Karkat’s face in a startled blush, flushing his cheeks with that oh so secret hidden shade.

“You, you,” Karkat stuttered, anger and the rising threat of rebuttal through violence peaking in his voice. He was getting worked up. It was so easy to wind him up, to watch him dangle and spit hateful hurting words he never meant.

Karkat’s gray eyes were wide, and that odd stutter grew worse. He never finished the threat, and Dave quickly realized that something was wrong as Karkat’s eyes, once wide with rage, were now filled with a different emotion. Fear.

Karkat struggled to breathe, his hands were at his throat, fingers scrabbling ineffectively against the gray skin. Dave listened for a wheeze, for something choking him, but there was nothing. The troll’s airways were clear, but it was not alright. Something was not working and Karkat couldn’t breathe. It was like a switch had been flipped. Healthy=/= choking. What the fuck?

The Mayor, who had been near City Hall, looked up in alarm as the troll sank to the floor, shaking and shuddering. Dave sprang into action, instant worry flooding him as cans rolled across the floor as he sent the post office and library rolling with a foot by accident.

“Karkat? Karkat what’s happening? What’s going on?” His inborn Knight was up and ready, but he could see no enemy. Dave could not see what was wounding him, whatever choking gasping wide-eyed fear that this was. There was nothing to fight, but something was so very wrong in the way that the troll’s chest was heaving. The Mayor crept closer, just as panicked as Dave was.

“WV, go get help.” Dave ordered, “Please. Find Rose or one of the trolls, and hurry!” The Dersite carapacian took off, racing away to find help with his robe flapping behind him.

Dave pulled the troll closer to him, reaching behind for his cape and wrapping Karkat in it like a blanket like he’d seen people do with feral cats. The troll struggled against him, weakly snarling, but still slashed with his claws. Dave held on stubbornly, even as a small horn crashed into his jaw hard enough to rattle his teeth. 

“It’s alright, it’s alright.” Dave told him, babbling useless words. “It’s going to be alright. The Mayor went to find help.”

Karkat’s skin was a fetid kind of hot and Dave had guessed by that point what was going on, even if he couldn’t understand it. He had waited so long for the chance to touch Karkat like this, to hold him close and feel the warmth of his skin, but this was backwards. 

Still trying to squirm away, Karkat hissed, “Let me go, get… off.” He dug his claws into pale skin, hard enough to cleave lines down Dave’s arm, hard enough for him to know that the troll fucking meant it. A lifetime of survival instincts that centered on fight or fight harder, coupled with the inborn need to keep hidden and not appear weak concentrated within Karkat’s claws as he fought to free himself.

The troll was gasping, but not as badly as before as he broke Dave’s grip and lunged away like he’d been scalded.

“Karkat?”

His back was turned. His ribs constricted his chest into a heave.

“Karkat, are you alright?”

Karkat coughed, a wracking, painful noise that let Dave know he could at least draw air again. “Yeah,” he whispered weakly, his voice strangely low. “I’ll be fine.” His hands were shaking, and Dave a saw a smear of red on the back of one from where he’d covered his coughing.

“Karkat.” Dave said seriously, “What the fuck just happened?” His own heart was beating too fast. 

“What the fuck do you think?” Karkat spit, not recovered yet, but trying to appear better already. Like if he forced himself to ignore the problem then it would go away.

Kanaya burst through the door with a shift of red skirts, Rose behind her with her hair in disarray and The Mayor tugging her forward anxiously by a hand. 

“What’s going on?” Kanaya asked as she took in the scene. “WV seemed quite distressed.”

“It’s nothing,” Karkat said quickly. “Nothing happened.” The troll was a terrible liar and it showed even now.

“Like hell it did,” Dave said loudly, still buzzing with adrenaline. “You couldn’t fucking breathe.”

“I said its nothing!” The troll snapped, nearly yelling, something desperate and trapped in his tone. “Fuck off and go stick your nose into someone else’s fucking business.”

“There’s still blood on your hand.” Dave said quietly.

Shocked, Karkat stared at the vivid smear numbly, then quickly hid it against is chest. “I said I’m fine,” he said darkly.

Kanaya strode forward with a frown. She reached down her hand to him, but he refused to take it or stand up. Instead he huffed and turned away, scrubbing his hand against his black sweater to hide the evidence.

“Dave, you also have blood on you,” Rose knelt beside him worriedly. HIs heartbeat was calming now that he knew Karkat was alright, but his pulse still raced out of sync. His fingers twitched, just realizing the blood that was running down his arm from the angry furrows of clawmarks. The troll had really gotten him, and the wounds were deeper than he’d expected. He was just beginning to feel the sting of them.

“It’s just a scratch,” Dave said numbly, even though the wounds would probably need stitches to stop the bleeding. “It’s nothing to worry about.”

Everything was numb and Dave was falling face-first into the dawning maw of realization that Karkat was not alright, and hadn’t been this whole time. Everything shifted, fell into place just in time to sweep his feet from under him. He was scrabbling for something to grab onto to keep him from falling into the pit of pain that had opened at his feet because he knew how this was going to end and couldn’t stop imagining the contrast of that small speck of red against Karkat’s gray skin and everything it signified. It was a collision of black holes racing closer with every beat of Karkat’s mutant heart to suck what little good was left from the world.

So this was what utter helplessness felt like, a sheen of cold sweat down his back and a faint tremor in hands that couldn’t offer anything.

Karkat was fatal.

Dave could barely wrap his head around it. Sure, he’d known about Karkat’s mutation. Dave knew about the troll’s shortened lifespan. He had fucking known.

But he hadn’t understood what that meant. He’d never thought about its consequences like the idiot he was. Not until the yellows of Karkat’s eyes had been corrupted by the seeping red of bust capillaries and he knew what the unfamiliar look of fear looked like on the troll’s familiar features. Jegus. He was fucked. Karkat was fucked. They were all fucked.

Dave never made the conscious decision to start avoiding him, and he didn’t realize that’s what was happening until it was too late and the damage had been done. Like a coward he’d turned to hanging out with Terezi and wasting his time with shitty and shittier art, because other than one insane juggalo hiding in the vents after a friendmurder spree there weren’t any other options.

So that left Dave here, stumbling through the great After, in a high school over one year and an unknowable distance later, watching the uncrossable distance between him and Karkat and hoping that like that other impossible feat, that the space between them could be crossed and that there was something worth the effort on the far side.

Because he’d been woken up, and he wasn’t about to let things stay the same. Whatever it took, Dave would fix his mistake. He’d make it up to Karkat because he simply had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this entire fic over three years ago. It's been sitting on my hardrive for so long. I'm no the same person I was when I wrote this, but this... it was my first Big Work that I ever completed. Writing this taught me so much and I feel like I owe it to myself to post it.
> 
> That being said- You know the stakes. Continue at your own risk because I’m going to warn you- there’s a whole lot of utter shit ahead. Prepare for tears and blood and every bad thing you can imagine and even a few that you can’t because its time to get to the freaking plot


	4. Friend Strife

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok a lot of this chapter is just me having fun with everyone, but its happy and advances the plot so fite me.
> 
> Also I’m making this entire fic as close to “true” Homestuck style as possible, and that means a lot of useless shit gets thrown in.

The first week on earth at earth high school had ended. The total list of casualties so far stood at:

Eight plain school desks (Equius)  
Uncountable pencils (Varied)  
One row of lockers (Tavros’s horn)  
Three different lunch tables (Equius, John)  
Three doors (Also Equius)  
Paper notebooks/books in general (Varied)  
A window (Sollux)  
The actual school bus. (Varied, but mostly Vriska trying to make them late)

They had a new bus already assigned by the county and the broken equipment had been replaced. The players were trying to not be destructive, but sometimes it was hard for certain people to adjust.  
Equius and his freakish strength were the main problem, but at least that destruction was all accidental. The row of locker’s Tavros had scratched as he went past had also been an accident, as had the window Sollux broke.

It wasn’t just the trolls who were struggling. John was finding great difficulty in keeping his feet on the ground. He was fairly good when he was at school, but as soon as the civilians left he’d start floating.

Dave teased him about it during yet another slow morning. He, John, and Jade were camping out in the hallway between classes. They were alone, which made it safe to gently poke fun at John’s issue without invoking the wrath of Rose, who had extracted a vow of silence from each of the players when it came to discussing game shit in public. 

“It’s hard to remember,” John said. “It’s easier to just float. I haven’t had to walk anywhere for a long time. I am sure I’ll catch on soon.”

“Or we can just tie weights to your shoes,” Dave joked. “That might help.”

“Well at least I’m not being lazy and hiding all of my school supplies in my sylladex. I carry a back pack like a normal student.” The breath player defended himself with a wink, tugging the strap of his bag higher up on his shoulders. 

“Fuck off, John,” Dave said good naturedly. The hallway was mostly empty between classes and there was another 1 minute and 24 seconds until the late bell rang, and Dave was determined to waste as much time as possible so he let John and Jade bundle him into a random broom closet without protest, still running his mouth. “Do you really expect us to carry school supplies on our backs? Like peasants? Like a hardworking young maiden with wide birthing hips in early 1400s Europe trying to feed her seven children off the fat of the land before dying at the ripe old age of 25 from tuberculosis? Get real.”

“You,” John told him, “are impossible sometimes.” The room was small and dusty, but private enough that no one would hear them.

“At least I don’t hit the ceiling when I sneeze,” Dave replied, deadpan.

“That was one time!”

“Boys, please,” Jade scoffed at the pair of them, “I don’t see anyone else dealing with having dog ears.” Her white ears drooped sadly from where they poked up from her wild black hair.

“How’s that going for you?” Dave asked curiously. Jade was normally so expressive with her ears, but right now the furry white triangles were pinned back warily and drooping.

“I don’t know, Dave,” She sighed sadly. “I’ve never thought about what others might think of them. When I got them I was so pleased and happy! They reminded me so much of Bec.” She gnawed at her lower lip. “But now, in a high school, I can’t but help think they make me look even more like a freak.”

“You’ve never been to school before, haven’t you?” John asked, concerned. “Is it what you imagined?”

Dave listened closely. He’d forgotten that on HellMurder Island there had been no school. Lucky Jade. 

“It is nothing like I imagined, but I’m still glad that we’re here,” she said. “I get to meet all these new people, and Karkat can get proper treatment.” She trailed of at the end, glancing around the empty room to make sure Karkat hadn’t materialized out of the row of abandoned lockers to overhear the end of her statement. 

“If anyone stares at your ears, tell them kindly that they can go order a massive helping of go fuck themselves,” Dave offered. “You are a literal god and should be proud of those ears, and if anything they add more civility and mystery to you.”

Her smile brightened and her ears relaxed. “Thanks, Dave!” she said happily. “That really means a lot to me.”

“Speaking of go fuck themselves,” the door opened and a grouchy troll stuck his head in like he’d been summoned by the expletives. How the fuck did Karkat always do that? Built in radar? “Why the grubmunching fuck are you three hiding in a clutter receptacle?” He asked crossly. Overhead, the bell began to ring with its horrible droning buzz.

Dave blinked at the troll. It never occurred to him how cramped the closet was with four other people in it.

“Dude, this is a broom closet,” John said.

“That’s what I said,” Karkat huffed.

Dave grabbed a broom and held it steady in his hands. “How are you feeling today, Vantas?” He asked innocently, edging around to the corner to have a wall at his back.

“I am perfectly fine, as I have been,” Karkat said, eyes narrowing. “Proving yet again what a moronic reckless clusterfuck of a mistake that coming to this shitty planet was.”

“Perfect,” Dave said cheerfully, brandishing the broom at him like a weapon. “Then en guarde motherfucker.”

Dave tossed the straw broom to him and snatched up the second, hitting it’s wooden handle fast with a plastic one so that brooms resounded with a hard clack. Karkat had his hand and broom up to block the blow without a conscious thought, but his mind quickly caught up to his actions.

“What the fuck are you doing?” The troll snarled. John was trying and failing to restrain his laughter as Dave flailed around expertly with the broom.

Dave spun the broom around and jabbed the bristles at Karkat. The troll deflected it easily.

“Strife me,” Dave challenged, swinging the broom up into a ready position. “If you’re really feeling fine, prove it.” This was different from actually fighting, wasn’t it? The broom felt nothing like a sword and it was a ridiculous weapon that could never actually hurt anyone, and that difference mattered. This felt more like playing sword-fight then actually strifing. 

“Are you fucking serious?” Karkat asked, glancing at the broom in his hands without letting Dave vanish from his line of sight.

“Yep,” Dave said. “I’m dead serious. This shit’s more real than Kraft mayo.”

“And if I win?” Karkat shot back, drawing up the wooden handle in readiness. His eyes were gleaming.

“I’ll stop pestering you about your health every five minutes,” Dave offered, and his smile widened. “But,” he cautioned. “Loose, and it gets five times worse.”

“Guys,” Jade cautioned. Exasperation showed in the tilt of her head. John rolled his eyes and huffed hard enough that a breeze ruffled Dave’s hair.

“You’re so on douchebag.” Karkat said, completely focused on the human. “I’m going to-”

“Sweep the floor with me?” Dave said, twirling the plastic wedge broom expertly. Behind him, John laughed again. “I warn you, I am an expert in broomkind warfare.”

The troll snarled and raised his broom, straw flying wildly through the air around him.

Collateral damage:

One shitty straw broom (Karkat)

The small closet wasn’t really large enough for a strife, especially not with four people, two mops, five busted lockers, and a pile of assorted clutter inside it. Dave was very careful not to hit John or Jade on a backswing before Jade sighed and teleported herself and John away with a flash of green. So much for no powers at school. The bell had stopped ringing and Dave was officially late to class. Oh no, whatever shall he do? He swung the broom at Karkat again.

The fight quickly dissolved into careful pokes and prods, testing each other’s skill and reaction time. The broom was longer than a sword and Karkat wasn’t used to fighting with a long single weapon. It showed when he didn’t take advantage of the extra reach. He wielded the broom more like a club and with the small space it was a challenge not to get legs tangled together as they circled around the small floor space.  
It was a game between them, nothing serious. It was a way to test the waters of friendship, since their relationship had first grown from trying to kick each other’s ass on the meteor. A corner of Dave’s mouth moved slightly upwards at the resurgence of memories the troll brought back.

He could see the same change in Karkat in that small smile he was fighting to hide. The troll wasn’t actively trying to strike him and neither was Dave intending a hit. Dave was careful not to push him, to keep this light and easy and fun. It was good to see Karkat smile. The sight lifted the cloud of negative feelings hovering over him.

The clack of the broom handles colliding grew further and further apart until Karkat gave up and firmly planted the straw head against the tile floor.

“Does this mean I win?” Dave asked, and Karkat raised his broom threateningly. The broomstick raced forward with a blur.

Dave made no move to block him, and the troll brought the strike to a halt just before it could collide with his face.

Karkat stared at him, his eyebrows raised in confusion as Dave lowered his broom.

“No, go on,” Dave said. “Do it. You deserve one free hit for how I’ve been treating you.”

Karkat stayed like that, broom inches away from Dave’s face. “Strider...” He warned, knuckles pulling tight around the broom.

“I mean it,” Dave said, completely serious. “I’m the one who fucked up. I’d deserve it if you broke my nose.”

The broom slowly dropped back to the ground, Karkat reluctant and uncertain. “I’d settle for an apology.” He said, leaning against the broom and the wall.

“I’m sorry,” Dave apologized, and for once the words didn’t burn on the way out. “Friends?”

“Not so fucking fast,” Karkat scowled at him, “You really think that three kind words after perigrees of silence will make me come crawling back to douse myself in the sludge of your sickening human disease called friendship?”

“Not really,” Dave admitted without thinking, and Karkat hissed and raised the broom again, furious with misunderstanding.

“Do you think this is some fucking joke?” Karkat demanded. “Fine. I don’t fucking need anything from you Strider, why the fuck won’t you just leave me the fuck alone then if that’s all that you’re going to fucking say?”

Wordlessly, Dave swallowed his own tongue. That’s not what he meant, that’s not what he meant at all, but he couldn’t get a word in edgewise when the troll was still going off like this and every word cut him deeper.

Karkat continued his furious tirade. “Is this all you wanted? To apologize so you can be guilt free to continue ignoring me for the rest of my short existence, because you’ve done exactly fucking that and you’re free to fucking go.” Karkat let the broom fall loudly to the floor with disgust, the hard clack echoed off the hard walls. He turned to leave and Dave quickly intervened, reaching out to stop the troll but not quite daring to touch him.

“That’s not what I meant,” Dave protested. “That’s not what this is.”

Karkat paused, his eyes narrowing dangerously. “Then what the fuck is it?” Karkat asked, his voice threateningly low and close to a growl.

“For one I don’t want you to just forget all the shitty things I did, but I do want you to know that I never meant for that to happen.” Dave said. “I never wanted any of that.”

“Then why did you let it happen?” Karkat asked, sounding hurt. “Because it was all you. I tried to reach out and you shoved me away. No one was twisting your arm to make you stay away and I thought that I did something wrong.”

It was official. Dave was a moron. He couldn’t seem to stop himself from hurting people, whether through action or inaction. “It wasn’t you,” Dave said. “You didn’t do anything Karkat. I made a mistake.”

“Why?” Karkat demanded. 

Dave didn’t know how to answer, so he stuck to the truth. “I don’t know.”

Karkat just stared at him, and Dave was torn between hurt and fear. What if he’d already fucked things up so bad that he couldn’t fix things between them? The seconds passed in a tense silence.

Eventually Karkat sighed. “I don’t fucking know either,” he said. “Maybe we both had some shit to work through, and I think that’s understandable. We still have a lot of shit that we have to deal with and it’s never going to go away. Every time I turn around there’s just more shit.”

“I understand that feeling,” Dave said shakily. “It’s like a never-ending Mount Everest of shit, except it’s actually Mount Vesuvius and it’s spewing it’s heaping load all over the goddamn place as the city crumbles beneath the mounds and mounds of seaming shit.”

“I have no idea what you just said,” Karkat said, shaking his head, but there was a small smile on his lips again that made Dave’s heart feel lighter.

Dave could feel himself smiling in return, and they stood there, grinning, as rows and rows of purple text filled his shades from Rose pestering him in vain as the history class they were skipping drug on without them.

“Rose is throwing a conniption,” Dave said, tapping the edge of his shades with one finger knowingly. 

“Let her,” Karkat said. “History is stupid. I don’t really care about whatever past fuckups humans have managed to do.”

“Even mine?” Dave prodded at the opening Karkat had left for him.

“Fine, okay,” Karkat decided. “But,” he warned sharply. “If you fucking can’t keep your shit together and decide to fuck off on me again, I will gladly eviscerate you and feed your worthless pink intestines to the horrorterrors.”

“That’s a start,” Dave said, determined not to fuck this chance up. “I’m still aiming for the friendship thing thought.”

The troll didn’t look angry. Some of the constant tension hovering around his shoulders fell away, and he cautiously reached out and set a warm hand on Dave’s shoulder. The skin there tingled under his palm.  
“Thank you,” Karkat said, hushed, though Dave should have been the one thanking him for forgiving so easily.

The troll walked out after that, and dave stood there, in a broom closet, his hand over his shoulder where Karkat had touched him, trying and failing to contain his smile. 

Dave did not go to class. He was busy thinking. 

Karkat was doing better on Earth. He hadn’t had any attacks since they’d landed and he wasn’t feeling weak and shaky anymore and it was just enough of an illusion to make Dave think that things might turn out alright in the end. It was just enough of an illusion to risk taking this growing fear of his and turn it on its head, twist it inside out and tell himself that he had to do it.

Dave had to tell Karkat how he really felt.

There was an actual chance that here, on earth, they might find a way to stop whatever this was. That’s what hope was about right? Shooting for goals that he knew he could never reach on his own and hoping that everything would be okay?

God, Dave sure as hell hoped so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I have come to a realization. 
> 
> I'll stop complaining about this fic. Everyone has the one finished draft that they write, that 1st story that gets locked in a drawer never to see the light of day and that's exactly what this fic is except I'm posting it on the internet for everyone to see. That in mind, I'll stop hating on my own work. It's not fair to anyone, so from this point on I'll stop acting bitter and take joy in posting this because yeah, thats the whole point. It's supposed to be a fun story and I'll stop judging myself so harshly about everything


	5. Things are getting complicated again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH GOD ITS BEGUN...
> 
> THE PESTERLOGS
> 
> SO MANY PESTERLOGS

The next morning was spent hacking the lab into shape and burying it upright in the ground out of sight of the nearby town and military base, then setting up the lab back into their base of operations. Home sweet massive hunk of space rock and weird abandoned lab buildings. 

Sollux was logged on and assessing the damage as soon as the power was up and running. Most of his monitors were cracked and the walls were being patched together with scrap metal from the meteor.

“Do you think the military will protest much?” John asked, wiping sweat away with the end of his long blue hood. He was hovering again, back in his full blue pajamas. For some reason, using any godtier abilities forced an outfit swap on them. No one was really sure why.

“Fucking shit,” A voice lisped, and a chunk of rock blasted past, surrounded in red and blue, and took out a tree.

“What’s up?” Dave asked coolly as a fuming Sollux appeared through a hole in the side of the building to hiss before lurching back inside. Dave followed the troll inside through the hole in the wall, ducking to avoid the limp wires strung from the ceiling. 

“I lost the connection after the crash.” The psionic growled, his hands in his pockets. “We were so close to making contact with the other session again.”

Rose lighted on the ground beside them. Nepeta slid down from the roof to land in a crouch, creeping closer to listen in.

“I assume you mean the connection to Jane and her team? Was it lost entirely?” Rose’s brow was pinched with a dark worry.

“Looks like it,” Sollux was seated at what was once the helm of the lab, now gutted. Wires were strung everywhere, some still leaking sparks that fell onto a mound of rebar and scrap metal. “This place is a mess,” Sollux said, disgusted and frustrated. He kicked a small loose ceiling tile through the hole in the wall.

Rose’s eyes glowed, the symbol of Light hiding in each violet eye. “I can See that it is imperative that we establish a stable connection, though I am not sure why. This is very bad,” she fretted. 

“How soon can it be fixed?” Nepeta asked, tail flicking back and forth anxiously. “I can always get Equius to help if you need it. He’s good at working with metal.”

“No fucking clue how long it will take,” Sollux shrugged, settling his bi-colored shades back in place. “And I don’t need fucking help.”

John, still hovering beside them, lifted a few more feet off the ground as an alert went up from outside.

“It looks like we have company,” Rose muttered, sighing. Dave reached up and grabbed hold of John’s ankle and yanked him back down so the windy idiot wasn’t flying just as their normal armed welcoming party in fatigues broke through the trees, right by the pinetree that was still smoking from Sollux’s rock.

“What the fuck do you dumbfuck’s want now?”

Rose’s expression didn’t change as Sollux cursed at the officers with his lisping voice. They walked back outside, Dave already on edge at the sight of their holstered weapons. 

“Greetings,” Rose said as the group drew nearer, looking very pissed.

“What in Jesus’s sweet name is going on here?” The lead woman surveyed the damage they’d caused to the trees and the second crater they’d made, the top of the lab poking up through the trees to touch the sky.

“Home renovations,” Rose explained. “I assure you that it’s nothing we can’t take care of ourselves.”

Work on the lab ground to a halt as everyone noticed what was going on, and the rest of the group that wasn’t hidden inside the lab slowly gathered on the front grass. Equius crossed his arms across his chest, silently judging everybody as he lent the John’s group his intimidating presence. 

The woman blinked, then re-oriented herself with a snap to bark at John. “Why did your group not take the bus back to the base as instructed?”

“A unanimous decision was made to relocate our efforts out here,” Rose said coldly, and John nodded along with her. “Most of what we do must remain a secret and we still have a lot of work to do in order to proceed as planned.”

The woman’s lips thinned to an impossible line. “And how do you expect us to help your other leader if you guys are all out here?” It was a weak excuse, but a clear manipulation.

“I assure you, if we need assistance- we will be there.” Rose promised. “Our business has and never will be your problem.”

“I can’t say that I know about aliens,” the woman said disdainfully. “But you three are humans, and still children. You need someone to keep an eye on you.”

“Hey, wait just a second,” John protested angrily.

Dave suddenly had enough of this bullshit. “Excuse me, mam,” he said, stepping forward and pulling on his best Southern manners. “We haven’t been children in a long time, and we have work to do.” Then, so that she knew he would take no shit, he said, “I did not bring back this planet back from the depths of the void to be babysat by some Miss America dropout in khaki shorts.”

Sollux snorted from inside the lab, laughter escaping from him as Rose elbowed her ectosibling hard in the ribs and nearly knocked Dave’s breath out.

But it worked. Flustered and insulted and uncertain what to do, the lady and her men retreated with only a last warning- stay in school and don’t go anywhere else, the words spat threat and danger over a turned shoulder right before they vanished back into the trees.

“Dave, was that last part really necessary?” Rose sighed.

“Sure made me feel better,” Sollux spoke up in his defense, cracking his knuckles loudly as he went back to work.

“It worked, didn’t it?” Dave said, “I don’t like the way they think they’re in charge. I don’t like how they point guns at us every time we try to get something done.”

“They did not point guns at us,” Rose said, exasperated. “Can you please try to make more of an effort not to alienate us?”

“Kind of hard to do sis, with the actual aliens present,” Dave said dryly. “Well there’s no use worrying about it now.”

She shook her head sadly. “I hope they learn to trust us more,” she fretted.

“You’d think resurrecting every living thing on the entire planet would be proof enough of our lack of murderous intent,” Dave said, earning a small smile from her.

A small explosion rumbled from inside the lab, followed by a “What do ya mean I did that?”

“You fucking fish-face, I said you’re not allowed near my tech! Piss off.”

“Well sorry Sol, I must not have heard your ‘pith off’ order.”

“You slimy nooksniffer, I bet your sea-dweller ass thought that was fucking clever.”

A second voice was heard, high and bubbly. “You two, cut that out this instant! I will not have any more fighting between the two of you! Why can’t you just be fronds and stop fighting all the glubbing time?” 

Dave rolled his eyes behind his shades. “Problems,” he said, “They just keep on coming.”  
…

 

The good thing about being back in the lab was that he got his old room back. Dave spent the afternoon emptying his sylladex of all his old stuff and setting up Casa Del Strider again. It wasn’t a huge amount of space, but it was his. This room was where he’d made his bed, and he knew how it’s shadows and corners worked. He knew where the floor creaked and the spots to avoid. He knew which parts of the walls hummed gently at night from the machinery hidden inside.

He never missed his old room back in Texas, but it had only been a few days and he’d already begun to miss this small meteor room. Just standing inside of the space was relaxing and he felt like he could breathe again. 

His room was pretty undamaged from the crash and once he got the sound system up and running glorious Strider beats filled the air.

Dave thought the sound was awesome, but after an hour or so there was a loud banging on his door.

“Uno momento,” he called out, removing his headphones as the last of his mixing gear fell into place. Dave opened the door to find Karkat. “Wassup?” He asked, more than a little pleased to find Karkat outside his room, even if the troll was frowning and clearly pissed at something that was hopefully not Dave’s taste in music.

Karkat’s hair was longer right now than it normally was. It nearly swallowed his small horns in the wavy mess of black. Dave tried to keep his eyes from lingering over the way it was beginning to curl against his neck.

“Try answering your messages sometime, you know, it would really save me the effort of coming all the way over here to fetch you like a lost woofbeast,” Karkat said angrily, but underneath the bluster Dave could sense a different emotion.

“What’s happened?” Dave asked with immediate concern. A single second passed. “I answered my last messages exactly three hours, fourteen minutes, and fifty-five seconds ago.” He knew exactly how much time that was for something to go terribly wrong.

“Cut your time shit Strider,” Karkat said. “We need your ass down at the helm. Sollux fixed the circuit boards.”

“Oh,” Dave said, relieved. “So you need my time shit?” He gave Karkat a small smirk, just enough to lift the corner of his mouth.

Karkat narrowed his eyes. “Just get moving, this is important,” he said. “We haven’t spoken to Jane’s team since before we hit earth.” 

Dave set his headphones down and turned off his mixing table. “I hope everything’s alright with them,” Dave said truthfully. He closed the door behind him as he quickly followed after the troll.

“If they’re not alright, it’s not like we can do anything to help besides scream at them,” Karkat said, still irritated and buzzing with it in a way that made his eyebrows pull together. “It’s a miracle we can even talk to them in their session.”

“Your team could see and speak to us,” Dave reminded him. "See, speak, troll John to his death… all that fun stuff."

“That was different,” Karkat said defensively. “We created your session. Jane’s team is in the session John created when he scratched your game in Reset.”

“I’m going to pretend like I know the difference,” Dave said. He kicked his feet along the hallway as he shuffled after Karkat.

At the helm Sollux was surrounded by everyone. On the overhead monitor there were words visible. Familiar, cotton candy colored words from a different hacker on the other side of the connection.

tipsyGnostalgic [TG]  began pestering  twinArmageddons [TA] at 8:14pm!

TG: hey hey hey  
TG: whats up with the radio silence? You all crash and burn and die or what?  
TA: My 2ystem wa2 crashed two fuckiing hell and back iin the cra2h. Ju2t got the liink up and runniing agaiin.  
TG: that’s so good! That means youre not dead rite?  
TA: No. Everyone over here ii2 fiine. We made iit and are on the human earth.  
TG: : o !!!

“So, it looks like we’ve made contact, and the connection is stable.” Sollux said aloud, just as the power flickered and the screen wavered. John banged on the side of the wall with a hammer until it cleared.

TA: Don’t 2hare thiis link! The connectiion get2 weaker the more iit2 2pread out.  
TG: im still telling janey asacp  
TA: Fiine, but only her. Have we mii22ed anythiing iimportant?  
TG: besides drones still trying to kill us every five minutes id say things are peachy  
TG: youre still planning on helping us right?  
TA: Ye2. Your 2e22iion’2 fucked without a tiime and 2pace player, thank2 to John’2 fucked up 2e22iion two 2tart wiith. Not your fault. We’re workiing on iit.

“How is that my fault?” John asked curiously. It wasn’t, not really. And if it was the beta kid’s fault, John wasn’t the one who’d fucked up first. Or maybe he was, with that whole Bec prototype clusterfuck. In hindsight it was hard to say. SBURB marked them as fucked from the moment the trolls won. Trying to throw blame was stupid and pointless.

“Shut up!” Sollux snapped, “I’m trying to concentrate.” His thin hands flew across the board as sparks leaped from his claws. The connection began to fizzle out, but the troll snarled and with a wrench of willpower the monitor cleared.

Dave tried not to think too hard about the logistics of physically hacking across sessions. Trollian/Pesterchum was a remarkable aspect of the game, but to see it stretch so far that the distance and the years and the total lack of temporal alignment meant next to nothing- maybe that was why Sollux’s fingers were trembling from the strain. 

TG: since you’ve been gone ive been thinking. I don’t see a way to merge the sessions. I don’t think it can be done, not like this at least. I’m sure your haxxer skills are great and all, but no fancy skills can solve the mess we’re all in over here.  
TA: what me22?  
TG: I know on your end you’ve got the jack-of-all-murders and we’ve got the hag bitch, but now there’s a new problem.  
TG: you hear about cherubim?  
TA: what the fuck ii2 a cherubiim?  
TG: imma take that as a no.  
TG: theres a different session. Not yours, not ours. Theirs. The cherubim.  
TG: there’s only two of them, and we have one with us here. Shes actually real cool, but her brother’s alt self/alt conglomerate final form is an unkillable villain  
TA: we’ve dealt with unkiillable villaiin2 before.  
TG: not like this. Hes a Lord of Time  
TA: the fuck ii2 a lord ii thought there were only 12 cla22e2.  
TG: there are two more that we just learned about from one of them, two that’s the rarest and most powerful. used onl when a session has only two players- one time, one space.  
TG: we have the space but time’s a murderous asshole  
TG: he’s going to fuck up all the shit, kill every universe in every session. He’s already taking out entire timelines over here  
TA: what do you mean by that?

To the side, Dave closed his eyes. The Knight of Time took a deep breath but the flow of Time was smooth and uninterrupted. He visualized the stable time loops and offshoots and doomed timelines, skipped lightly over a few blips of still running loops and static of loops that had failed and were only populated by yet more dead Dave’s, but everything was silent and alright and as normal as it had been. Still vastly fucked up by his plethora of past mistakes, sure, but no worse than it had been for the past three years.

“Nothing’s amiss on our side,” Dave said aloud, opening his eyes. “Aradia?”

“As far as I can tell, Time is moving along as normal.” The other Time player said.

Onscreen, Roxy continued to fill the monitor with words.

TG: I mean that unless we stop him in time, he is going to end everything. The universe, Sburb, existance itself. Everything. Gone. Dead. Deader than dead.  
TG: like, deadx2  
TA: that doe2n’t 2ound good. You’re 2aying that 2o far he’2 2tuck iin your 2e22iion?  
TG: yes but he won’t be for long. Soon he will break free and infect other sessions as well Hes a Lord of Time! an active ruler of every aspect of time itself. he’s so far proven unstoppable.  
TA: have you met hiim yet?  
TG: no, and id be ded if I did but we have his sister and the bloody aftermath of his session merging with ours. He’s already broken into our universe, who do you think he’s coming for next?  
TA: 2hiit.  
TA: for once I was hopiing thiing2 would be 2iimple.  
TG: and now I’m going to make it worse. we have a deadline. you need to get us out before he kills the alpha timeline in our session and destroys us all otherwise we’re all dead and you’ll have to fight him alone.  
TA: how long do you have?  
TG: I’m not sure. We don’t have a time player and can’t really assess how much progress he’s made but callie thinks maybe two weeks. Shes the cherubim btw  
TA: we’ll figure out 2omething before then.  
TG: …  
TG: you don’t have the faintest clue how to merge the sessions do you?  
TA: ii  
TA: ii’m 2orry  
TA: but ii wiill fiind a way. ii 2wear on iit.  
TG: you’d better, otherwise we might as well just kill ourselves right now to spare him the trouble.  
TG: sorry. That was dark. Sorry sorry sorry  
TG: shit  
TG: that fucker  
TG: shit sorry g2g  
TG: I’ll see if we can talk later. more drones  
TG: byye

The screen went dark. Sollux slumped over in his chair as the connection broke, his shoulders drawn up around him as he passed a hand over his face and rubbed at his eyes beneath his bi-colored glasses. There was a moment of silence.

“Holy shit,” Eridan whistled. “And I thought we were fucked.”

Sollux groaned and put his head in his hands. “What the fuck.”

Rose cleared her throat. “It seems that there is another complication to merging the sessions and rescuing Jane’s team from their null session.” The Seer of Light furrowed her brow. “I’m sure that this is shocking to all of us. According to Roxy, there is a new villain to contend with. I’m still not sure about this new player or these cherubim, but he seems to be a powerful time player and the other team is in serious danger. We need to get them out as soon as possible. Sollux?”

The hacker was already at work, numbers flying across the cracked screen. “I’m on it.”

“How long should this take?” Rose asked worriedly.

“The fuck should I know?” Sollux said, not looking up. “After two years I’m still just as clueless on how to merge a session. I will find a way though,” He promised solemnly, red and blue flashing off of his fingers as he typed at a rapid speed. “I hacked into their session across the borders of the universe to set up this connection. There has to be a way.”

“There’d better be,” Karkat said. “It’s our fault their session is doomed. We can’t let them die because of our mistakes.”

“I second the notion,” Dave said, cutting in. “Let’s get them the hell out of there.”

“You do realize that if we merge the sessions this new villain will be allowed entry to this universe as well?” Rose reminded them grimly. “Though when that happens, this universe will crumble behind us as it should have as soon as John Scratched. We cannot sustain this bubble of reality for long once the sessions merge.”

“We were already alright with letting the Condense in,” John said, “just so we can take her out. She’ll be gunning for us too.”

Vriska drew out her Octet and twirled them through her fingers with a shimmer of blue, just a hint of the symbol for Light shining through her eyes. “Let her try. I’ve been wondering what it will be like to see all that royal blood splatter.”

Terezi slammed her cane against the ground with a sharp crack and laughed delightedly. “Justice will be served.”

“We’ll be ready for the hag,” Karkat said. “That part of the plan doesn’t change. Beat Jack, beat the Empress, and now kick this cherubim's ass and be done with it. Does anybody have any objections?”

Not a single hand was raised. Feferi’s face was tight at the mention of the Empress, but the Heiress’s tyrian eyes were clear. They meant business. Dave’s gut was tense, a tingle of danger traced its way down his spine with the sound of cogs falling into place, the seconds winding down.

Their current session might have been fucked past all belief and completely unwinnable, but that didn’t mean they weren’t going to give Skia a run for its boonbucks before the dust settled.

“Good,” Karkat said smugly, his eyes shining. “Now let’s fucking do this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Now its time for me to ruin everything because plot is hard and I’m trying my best to hold this crazy idea together without breaking Homestuck SBURB laws. I’m stretching cannon to the maximum here with this fic.


	6. Patchjob in reverse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually really like coding pesterlogs. its calming and repetitive and forces me to reread everything carefully so I don't make and mistakes

For the most part the other students were settling down to the fact that gods and aliens and alien gods were also attending the school with them. If anything, they could bond over a mutual hatred of class, which luckily seemed to be a universal constant. If anyone actually had the balls to say more than three words to the players, Dave was sure they could have gotten along.

Sollux was surprisingly struggling the most. He failed to pay attention to anything, was easily distracted, and crashed all of the computers in the library simply by walking past. Dave didn’t blame him. The troll had every right to be distracted. He spent every spare second glued to a monitor, lines of code running through him in twisting complex lines that kept turning up failure after failure. No, Dave couldn’t blame him. He was worried about Jane's team too.

Eridan was doing the best out of the trolls. Somehow, he was making perfect scores on all assignments, even human history. Dave couldn’t even pass human history, like how the fuck was the troll doing so well. The seadweller even knew about obscure wars and military leaders, but hey, the troll was bright. He’d been schoolfed with the best of them before Alternia ceased to exist. 

Dave still thought grades were a waste of time. Rose had been right. It wasn’t like they meant anything anymore.

They tried to lay low, not make a scene, which was awfully hard considering the players were all in the same classes together. Smart thinking, Rose. Lump all the psychopaths into a closed room together with a bunch of teenaged civilians and hope no one murders anybody. Great going. A+ planning.

“Okay, why is the human symbol for basic weight units a fuckin lb?” Eridan whispered, leaning over to the Knight.

Dave looked down at his blank worksheet, which was covered with doodles and scraps of rap lyrics. “Because we like to make things unnecessarily complicated,” he whispered back, shrugging.

Rose must have heard them and answered without looking up from her notes, “Actually, I assume that Terezi is at fault for that.”

The blind troll whipped her head around, nostrils flared. “What am I responsible for?” She croaked dangerously, facing Eridan. 

The seadweller shrugged, unthreatened by the tealblood and absorbed in glaring at the problem on the worksheet like it had offended him. “Apparently Rose thinks that pounds meaning lb is your fault or something.”

“What?” Dave said, a little louder than needed. The stern faced teacher that he already disliked shot him a glare from the front of the room, her lips thin.

“In our culture, the lb is derived from Libra, of the zodiac. It was chosen for its ties to both balance and justice,” Rose said simply.

Several other trolls were listening closely, and Dave a saw a few human heads turning as well as horns.

“Really?” Terezi asked excitedly.

Rose stealthily pulled a computer from her sylladex and brought up a picture of the statue for Justice- a thin, gray faced stone woman with a sword wearing a blindfold and holding up a set of scales. “She represents the Law,” Rose said, “as well as balance and justice.”

“That sounds like a Legislacerator,” Terezi said, sniffing deeply at the screen. “And she’s wearing a blindfold.”

“Sound familiar?” Rose asked with a smile.

Holy shit. “No fucking way.” Dave said, just as incredulous as the trolls listening.

Terezi grinned her shark-toothed grin. “Your human concept of the Law and Justice was based off of me?” Her blinded red eyes were wide behind her glasses, a smug and happy look on her face. It only made her look more lethal.

“Yes,” Rose said. “And it’s not the only troll thing woven into our culture.”

“Are you shitting us?” Dave asked seriously. “How did I not know about this?”

“It isn’t that surprising,” Rose said, sitting up straighter in her desk. “This universe was created by the trolls. Some aspects of them were used as building blocks for the foundation of existence to wait on their arrival, which Jack prevented. The strongest place this connection is seen is within our Zodiac, as Libra can attest.”

“So there are other connections like mine?” Terezi asked slowly, her grin widening.

“Yes, and more for you than that single fact,” Rose said.

“What about me?” Eridan asked curiously, a hint of distress in his tone, finned ears pinned back with a cautious unease.

“Following my Zodiac example, Aquarius is known as the water bearer,” Rose said. “I know what we call the Zodiac names is different from yours, but they all share your signs.”

“Water-bearer,” Eridan said coolly, sounding relieved, like he was glad to not be called Orphaner. “I can deal with that.”

“Traditionally, Aquarius is linked to seas and rivers and the bounty they hold. It’s a very important role,” Rose said, and Eridan smiled a small smile and looked away, relaxing as the tension left his shoulders. Feferi whispered something to him with a giggle.

By this point all of the trolls were leaning in, and the teacher had basically stopped her lecture. Even the students were listening closely. Rose spoke up, making sure everyone in the room heard her lesson.

“And what about me?” Vriska asked, her hair smooth across one shoulder and smugness already etched across her face. “I don’t believe that anything your human culture came up with over a few thousand years can compete with the real thing.”

“Vriska, your sign, Scorpio to us, is heavily linked to the number eight. On the keyboard before me, the symbol that matches your eightfold vision is on the number eight. Your lusus is also present, and that pattern goes for the rest of the Zodiac. In some cultures the animal was swapped for a scorpion in your case, but in the oldest cases it is still in its arachnid form. The same holds true for the other trolls as well. Tavros, your associated animal is the bull, Equius, the horse, and you Nepeta, your sign is known as the lion, the fiercest of the catbeasts.”

Nepeta’s eyes glowed, and she elbowed Equius excitedly, tail flicking from side to side. “Like Pounce!”

The Seer of Light was in her element as Rose continued. She carefully explained each parallel to the room, making sure that they all knew the impact the trolls had in this world.

Dave’s mind was secretly blown. How the fuck had he not noticed this before? He knew that the troll’s signs were linked to the zodiac but he had thought that was just another bullshit SBURB thing. A coincidence.  
“And what about me?” Karkat asked, a scowl already building on his mouth. “I noticed you’ve avoided my sign. How bad is it?” He asked quietly, his gray eyes steady.

Oh shit. The sudden realization hit Dave like a punch to the gut just a moment before Rose sighed and slowly turned to face the troll. Fuck. He could almost see the blow coming. His knowledge of the zodiac may be severely limited, but he wasn't an idiot. He knew what Vantas meant.

“Cancer,” Rose deadpanned, her voice small. “Your sign stands for cancer.”

Dave winced, feeling the blow.

Karkat nodded blankly, stone-faced. “Of fucking course,” he said. “The universe just loves shitting all over me.”

“In the Zodiac, that’s not a bad thing,” Rose said quickly. “It stands for the tropics, and your animal is a crab, similar to your lusus.” Her desperate attempt to reassure the troll backfired. 

“You don’t need to explain things to me,” Karkat snapped. “I know what fucking cancer means. Don’t try to bullshit some lame ass excuse for it to try and spare my feelings.” Karkat’s hands were clenched tight at the edges of the desk. The wood creaked under his claws.

Dave’s heart ached for the troll. He didn’t deserve this.

“That’s not what I meant-” Rose began.

“Save it,” Karkat interrupted. “I should have known.”

“Karkat,” Dave said. “It’s alright. It sucks, but it’s alright.”

“Lying doesn’t suit you, Strider,” Karkat immediately snapped at him, the anger rising in him as he rose and headed for the door. He shoved away from the desk and the metal chair legs screeched against the floor.

“Where are you going?” The teacher asked, blinking as she pulled herself out of the daze she and the rest of the class had been in.

“Fuck off,” the troll spat.

“Language!” She screeched, wielding a meter stick like a strifespecibus in one bony hand. Karkat drew back his black lips and hissed at her, every inch alien and unnatural. The sound made tiny hairs rise at the back of Dave’s neck. Karkat slammed the door behind him hard enough that the windows rattled.

Jegus, Dave knew he was pissed. He could feel the troll’s self-hatred from here, his rage burning like a star.

Dave made it halfway out of his chair before Rose’s hand caught his sleeve.

“Wait,” she cautioned, “Let him cool off first.”

Dave fake considered the idea for a moment, imagining Karkat all alone and pissed at the world. Not on his watch. He was determined to be a better friend than that. 

“Nope,” He said, popping his lips on the P. “Not a good idea. In fact, that might just be the worst idea I’ve heard all week. It’s worse than gas station sushi, worse than inviting Jack over for afternoon tea. It’s even worse than Megan Fox with a beard,” he said, rambling as he could when emotions cluttered his thinking, uncomfortable with Rose’s gentle hand restraining him. He fought the urge to pull away. “Listen, I don’t care what hurtful things he might say to me right now if that’s what you’re worried about. I can take it.”

“It’s not that,” Rose said anxiously, “Kanaya and I have been talking, and we both think that…” she trailed off, aware that everyone else was still listening. She didn’t need to finish. Dave knew his ectosis well enough to know what she was going to say, but he was always making bad decisions so he didn’t see how one more could make thing worse.

And the slightly pitying look in her cool violet eyes was unnerving in its accuracy. He hadn’t known that she would mark his intentions correctly so soon. Was it that obvious?

“Hey, Terezi,” Dave asked, turning to her, purposefully ignoring the other Seer. “What do you See?”

Terezi stared at him with her blank eyes. “If you do not go after him,” she said seriously, furrowing her brow. “Something very bad will happen. Namely, me introducing your face to my cane.”

“That’s enough proof for me.” He said, nodding to the troll in thanks.

Terezi winked. “Go get him coolkid.”

Well hell. Even Terezi seemed to know. He fought back a small smile. At least they were all on the same page.

“I’ll be right back,” he called to the teacher as he followed after Karkat. “Bathroom.”

The woman rolled her eyes and waved him on, still too rattled from Karkat’s threatening hiss to call out his bullshit excuse.

The halls were deserted between classes. He didn’t think that Karkat would leave the school and try to walk back to the lab alone, but the building was large and Dave was unfamiliar with its hiding places.

Dave knew Karkat well enough to know that he’d head somewhere to be alone. Too many times Dave had found him in the dark of the meteor, crammed into obscure corners and leaking with a grief only slightly lessened by the return of his slaughtered friends. Karkat was like a hurt cat. He wanted to be alone to lick his wounds and seethe in his own misery.

Dave began checking the empty classrooms up and down the hall, even the broom closet they’d strifed in. No luck.

Dave pulled out a computer and sat down in the hall, bringing up his chumhandle.

TurntechGodhead (TG) began pestering CarcinoGeneticist (CG) at 12:06pm!

TG: yo where are you?  
TG: im wandering around the halls like a moron trying to find your ass.  
CG: WHY THE EVER-LOVING FUCK ARE YOU EVEN TRYING TO FIND ME?  
TG: …  
TG: …  
TG: dude  
TG: are you seriously asking me why?  
CG: YES? WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD I ASK, YOU OBTUSE IDIOT? I’VE SEEN PILES OF LITERAL HOOFBEAST SHIT WITH MORE COMMON SENSE THAN YOU.  
TG: karkat  
TG: earth to karkat wake up and smell the friendship. we are now acting as friends and this is a friendly act that is required by friends to do. to act otherwise is a disqualifier for our friendship.  
CG: HOLD THE FUCK UP, STRIDER. YOU ARE DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO PALE TERRITORY, WHERE NOT A SINGLE SHITTY RAP OF YOUR IRONIC DOUCHYNESS IS ALLOWED. THAT QUADRANT IS TAKEN YOU ASSSHOLE.  
TG: im not trying to act like a moirail to you. that is not what this is thats not even close to what this is  
TG: and whatever. im allowed to care about you and your mental well-being and somebody needs to and its not like the clown is doing his job  
CG: THAT IS NOT GAMZEE’S FAULT. DON’T YOU DRAG HIM INTO THIS. HE’S BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH.  
TG: i am not here to argue with you about your moirail and his utter ineptitude. i am not trying to encroach on his territory or some weird troll romance thing. this is a strictly friendly situation.  
CG: LIKE FUCK IT IS.  
TG: fine if you want to be alone i understand that. just, talk to me  
CG: NO.  
TG: can i talk then? i swear i won’t start rambling on like i do. i just have some things i’d like to say  
CG: LIKE WHAT?  
TG: like i know how hard this is for you and wait no dont think about blocking me i mean it.  
TG: hear me out im being legit here. i know i fucked up our friendship on the meteor and were trying to make up and whatnot now but ive done some thinking. and with my miraculous thinking i might have discovered the reason why i started avoiding you like that. now that i know i feel like you deserve to know as well.  
CG: OH REALLY? THANK FUCK YOU ACTUALLY RUBBED YOUR TWO REMAINING PANCELLS TOGETHER FOR THIS. GO ON, I’M LISTENING.  
CG: I DON’T BELEIVE THAT YOU’RE ACTUALLY CAPABLE OF SAYING WHAT YOU MEAN WITHOUT WRAPPING IT UNDER THREE LAYERS OF YOUR SO-CALLED IRONY AND DISGUISING ANYTHING THAT EVEN APPROACHES GENUINE BENEATH A PILE OF RAMBLING BULLSHIT.  
CG: I KNOW YOU STRIDER, EVEN IF YOU WON’T ADMIT THAT I DO. YOU CAN’T SAY THE SHIT THAT YOU MEAN OUTLOUD.  
TG: will you let me try? there’s a reason im doing this through fucking text instead of arguing with you or changing the subject to prove you right  
TG: im fucking trying here  
CG: HOLY FUCK YOU ARE.  
CG: YOU’RE ACTUALLY TALKING TO ME. THIS IS A CONVERSATION THAT IS HAPPENING.  
TG: you are not making this easy on me  
CG: I’M JUST A LITTLE SHOCKED. EVEN WHEN WE WERE FRIENDS YOU NEVER OPENED UP ABOUT ANYTHING THAT MATTERED.  
TG: karkat we’ve been over this. were friends. end of the fucking story.  
CG: I DON’T KNOW IF I BELIEVE YOU YET.  
TG: thats fine its chill  
TG: yeah no problem  
TG: wait  
TG: no  
TG: not its not  
TG: that’s right karkat pay attention i am about to be 100 per-fucking-cent sincere  
TG: first things first im an idiot.  
TG: i hurt you and i know that i did and i cant undo it but i am trying my fucking hardest to make it up to you  
TG: so yeah youre right and i deserve that because i have been lacking in the sincerity department my entire life, especially with you, but im trying to fix that  
CG: YOU DON’T HAVE TO, YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT?  
CG: TALK WITH ME LIKE THIS. OPEN UP. NOT IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. I’M NOT ASKING YOU TO DO THIS.  
TG: i know that  
TG: but i want to  
TG: is that ok?  
CG: ARE YOU SURE?  
TG: i think so  
CG: OKAY. OKAY, GIVE ME A SECOND.  
CG: I’LL ROLL BACK MY BULLSHIT IF YOU ROLL BACK YOURS.  
TG: that sounds fair  
TG: i guess ill go first?  
TG: ive got no clue how this is supposed to go so keep that in mind  
TG: this is off terrain with me and i’m still learning how to drive without training wheels  
TG: so  
TG: i  
TG: shit this is hard  
TG: i started avoiding you because i was scared.  
TG: thats it thats out its right there in the table and i cant unsay it because its fucking true  
TG: but mostly it was because i didnt know how to handle my own emotions. honestly thats still a thing im working on because i didnt know how to react to the fact that  
TG: you know, so  
TG: i started avoiding you. at first i didnt mean to but after i noticed what was happening i didnt know how to stop it or fix the damage that had been done and as glad and thankful as i am that were past than now and actually speaking to each other i still have trouble with the exact same things that drove us apart in the first place. im admitting it  
TG: and heres the kicker. i think that you are still struggling with it as well  
TG: and thats alright. im not going to bullshit you and say that i understand what youre dealing with or lie and try to say that everything is going to magically turn out fine because we both know thats utter shit.  
TG: i just want you to know that youre not alone. its not just me either. everyone cares about you, even when it seems they dont.  
TG: what im trying to say is this is a shitty situation but theres no reason to make it even shittier by isolating yourself from the people who care about you.  
TG: karkat?  
TG: hello? are you just going to leave a heartfelt bro hanging?  
CG: SORRY I’VE BEEN FEELING WEIRD TODAY AND HOLY FUCK.  
CG: WHAT BROUGHT THIS HEARTFELT OUTPOUR ON ALL OF THE SUDDEN? I’M CURIOUS.  
TG: i know what its like to be alone.  
CG: …  
CG: DAVE,  
TG: holy shit you just said my name not “strider” fuck yes  
CG: CAN YOU STOP FUCKING UP THE MOOD? I AM TRYING NOT TO HATE YOU.  
TG: sorry i’ll shut up now  
CG: PLEASE.  
CG: OKAY. I GUESS I HAVE SOME THINGS I’D LIKE TO SAY TO YOU AS WELL.  
CG: BUT ONLY SINCE WE ARE OPENING UP SWEEPS WORTH OF SOILED LAUNDRY!  
CG: I THINK I HAVE A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF THE WAY YOU ACTED TOWARDS ME, AND I GUESS I’M GLAD THAT YOU SHARED THIS WITH ME. IT HELPS ME UNDERSTAND A LITTLE I THINK? MAYBE. TRYING TO THINK THESE THINGS THROUGH IS LIKE DRAGGING MY PAN ACROSS A SEA OF BROKEN GLASS AND FLAGULATING SHIT. ITS STUPID AND USELESS AND IT ONLY SERVES TO HURT A BIT MORE ON THE INSIDE.  
CG: I’M NOT EVEN SHOCKED ABOUT WHAT ROSE SAID. I KIND OF EXPECTED IT EVEN. I THOUGHT I’D BEEN DESENSITISED TO YET MORE INEVITABLE ‘LET’S SHIT ON KARKAT’ SBURB ANTICS BUT I GUESS NOT.  
CG: AND I RESPECT YOUR KNOWLEDGE ON LONELINESS. FUCK YOU’RE PROBABLY THE ONLY OTHER PERSON WHO EVEN COMES CLOSE TO IT. DO YOU, DO YOU THINK THAT  
CG: JSAFHLBNASMKL;  


 

A brief pause, seconds passing by with no response, just for long enough that Dave started to feel uneasy. Pesterchum spit out more gray nonsense at him.  


 

CG: ;LKJHGFDVAE   
TG: karkat whats up?   
CG: DVAE SOMETHIGS NOT RIGHTR   
TG: karkat? karkat whats happening?   
CG: FUCKKIG AIRED SNHTT   
TG: where are you?   
TG: hey karkat keep me updated whats going on?   
TG: ok karkat i am kind of panicking over here   
CG: I CAN’T BREATHE.   
TG: what its wait no holy shit karkat where are you?   
TG: karkat where the fuck are you i need you to tell me where you are.   
CG: LEARNNGBLOCK 322   
TG: im on my way. keep calm i’ll be right there.   
TG: i will be right there ok? just try to stay calm.

Dave slammed the computer back into his sylladex before Karkat could respond, running down the hall. He could feel every second as it passed, agonizingly slow. He counted the numbers, taking turns down unfamiliar halls until he hit the three hundreds and threw himself at the right door.

It was solidly locked from the inside. It only took 0.614 seconds for him to have a sword out and through the metal lock, his shoulder hard against the wood as it splintered open.

Karkat was against the far wall, his husktop on the ground beside him. He was sitting upright, with his knees drawn up to his chest. The row of windows let sunlight filter down through the dusty air and made the small line of cherry-red blood that ran from the corner on his mouth all the more noticeable.

Instantly Dave was thrown back nearly two years, to a similar scene with the same scared look on the troll’s face. But somehow it was worse. “Karkat,” Dave said, flash-stepping over to him and sliding down beside him. “Karkat, Karkat breathe.”

Karkat gasped, “I’m fine,” and Dave could hear the air move into him, but nothing was changing. The troll was flushing pale, his gray skin turning a dirty ash. He coughed again, weakly sending a dribble of blood down his chin, still taking these little shaking breaths that were so shallow that all they did was make the troll’s ribcage convulse.

“It’s alright,” Dave said, dragging Karkat’s open husktop over to him. “It’s going to be fine, you’ll be fine Karkat, just breathe.”

Dave had Trollian up of the husktop, had a message to Jade already typed. Karkat’s keys were all in Alternian, but after a moment of precious time his Godtier language abilities kicked in and he hit send. Praise be unto the Gift of Gab, because there was no fucking way Dave would have figured out the troll’s alien computer otherwise. 

Karkat had managed to fight down enough air to cough again, sending a splatter of crimson across the carpet by Dave’s knee. Dave froze, and Karkat made a small, wet sound of pain as the troll slumped over onto him.

Dave held him up on instinct, everything inside of him numb and screaming. 

Fifteen long seconds later Jade appeared beside them, surrounded by green light in her full black and white Godtier dress. Her hood was up and her ears at attention, hair dark and wild as energy crackled through the air around her. The Witch took one look at the two of them, at his panicked face and the flecks of blood on the floor, assessed the situation perfectly, and reached out with her hands and took hold of both him and Karkat. The floor vanished, and Dave felt like he was being drug backwards and upside down through an ocean of thick syrup, saw nothing but the color green and stars swirl past his shades, then lurched out of it as his feet hit something solid.

The journey had taken exactly 0.000102 seconds but for Dave it felt like too long had passed stuck in that strange electric place Jade had traveled through with such ease. He felt like he was going to throw up. Nausea twisted under his skin. 

Jade had landed them back at the base, underground in the medical wing of the hospital. Everything was reeling, colors mixing and washed out. His ears were ringing.

“We need a doctor!” Jade yelled, and he was left holding Karkat up. The troll was barely conscious, not really alert enough to claw at him again, to fight. He was limp in a way that made his head loll boneless against Dave’s chest as he sagged deadweight. His breath rattled, dangerously shallow. 

There were strange people scrambling around them, and Dave only realized that he still had his sword when the blade came up instinctively in defense. He recognized the white coats the doctors were wearing and forced himself to lower the weapon, forced himself to surrender an unconscious Karkat to the doctors. Forced himself to watch as they carried Karkat away out of sight.  
…

 

When Dave finally got to see Karkat, after, hours after, he thought the troll was sleeping until he saw that Karkat’s eyes were cracked open in exhausted slits.

Dave slowly crossed over to the hospital bed they had him in, the smell of antiseptic strong enough in the air to burn his nose. “Hey,” he said softy. “How are you doing?”

There were deep and heavy bags under his tired eyes, but Karkat still narrowed them at him. Karkat put his head back, closed his eyes, and faced the ceiling overhead. “Why do you care?”

There was no bite in his voice, no bluster, only a weary exhaustion.

“Goddammit Karkat,” Dave sighed, rubbing his eyes beneath his shades. “Even hospitalized you’re the most obtusely dense fucker in all of known creation.”

That got the troll’s attention. Karkat struggled upright and scowled at him. “What the fuck are you babbling about now?” He snapped, “Fuck you Strider.” He angrily pulled the thin blanket up higher over him, and Dave was hit with the notion of how fragile the smaller troll looked in that moment. 

“Do you even need to ask that?” Dave said, sinking carefully down at the end of Karkat’s cot. He was emboldened when Karkat didn’t reflexively kick out at him or snarl. “You know I fucking care about you, asshole.”

Karkat had the audacity to weakly roll his eyes. “You sure have a fucked up way of showing it then,” he said.

“I’m trying my absolute best,” Dave swore. “I just really suck sometimes at showing basic human emotions.”

Karkat let a short laugh escape him, cold and brittle. “That’s not just sometimes, it’s all the fucking time,” he said. “Calling them ‘human’ emotions does not hide the fact that no matter what the chosen species’ general consensus for emotive responses is set at, you fall far below the fucking bar. And if you so much as dare to say how hard this is for you, I’ll crawl over there myself and strangle you with your own intestines like the petulant shitstain you are.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Dave swallowed. Jegus this was difficult. He’d spent his whole life walling himself up inside of his heart and he didn’t know how to crawl out of it anymore. The monitor hooked into the troll’s arm beeped quietly, his heartbeat displayed in lines of green that Dave couldn’t help but count between. “Did they say what it was?”

Karkat’s steel eyes were hard and unreadable. “No,” he said. “Your earth Docterrorists and Medicullers have no fucking idea.”

“Karkat,” Dave began, but was cut off.

“Even they know it, though they’ll never fucking admit it,” Karkat said miserably, his voice dipped low to catch deep in his throat. “I don’t have much time left. I’m going to die, Dave.”

Dave swallowed hard. His throat was so tight the motion was acutely painful. His eyes were too dry and his mouth was an even line.

“If you can admit that,” Karkat said, his head slowly drifting back until he stared blankly at the ceiling again, “Then you’ll see what a stupid mistake this entire trip was. It’s nothing but idealistic extended suicide as we collectively put our heads together to make yet more fucked up choices that do nothing but ensure an even worse fucked up fate at the end of the game. SBURB will not overlook us deviating from the plan like this,” Karkat said angrily. “I told you all. I fucking told you this was a stupid idea, but you never listened to me and now we’re fucking here and absolutely nothing’s changed.”

“Fuck that,” Dave said at once, with more feeling than he meant to. His hands were in fists against the bedspread. “This was your first attack since we’ve been here. I’d call that alone enough reason to come.” Dave twisted his fingers together to stop them from trembling. “Maybe now that they’ve seen what it’s like for you they can figure this thing out.”

It was a hope that cut his heart to ribbons and left him flayed raw. That singular hope was a desperate dream he’d recreated worlds and resurrected friends for. He clung to it, because without that hope Karkat was doomed.

“Dave,” Karkat said, and Dave didn’t think he’d ever heard the troll say his name so gently. “I’m down to only perigrees now. There isn’t enough time.”

Dave could make time. He would scour the timelines and fracture them until he found a reality where a cure had been found, dead Daves be damned. He’d die a hundred times if it would fix this. Paradox Space could kiss his ass before it shit him out for meddling with time like that.

“I can fix that particular problem,” Dave said softly. It might not be much in the face of Karkat’s declining health, but it was the one thing he could offer.

“Dave, stop.” Karkat ordered. “Stop doing this to yourself, you fucking moron. The Alpha timeline won’t even blink when I’m dead. All you’ll succeed in doing is dooming more versions of yourself.”

“You say that like it’s an issue,” Dave stated plainly. “I’ve doomed myself for lesser reasons.”

“That was before, when you were still fucking around with time without understanding the consequences,” Karkat closed his eyes. “You’re supposed to be better than that now. Dammit, we’re supposed to be better.”

You’re supposed to get better, Dave nearly said. Instead, he scooted closer until he could look into Karkat’s upturned face. He was close enough that his hand burned with how near it was to Karkat’s warm side and he had to resist the urge to take the troll’s hand in his. Dave wanted to touch him so bad, just to erase the terrible hollowness he could see in Karkat’s face. “What is it like?” He heard himself ask softly.

A part of him expected Karkat to ignore him, but he still wasn’t surprised when Karkat answered. His eyes were still closed. “Like I can feel everything wrong inside me all at once, so much it chokes me.”

The memory of that line of bright cherry red running down Karkat’s chin, the way he had shuddered, gasping. His mind ran in circles.

“It’s pretty shitty,” Karkat mentioned, dragging Dave back into the moment. “I’ve dealt with a lot of shit, you know? Sometimes I think the universe just likes to fuck me over for the hell of it, but it’s different when the pain is on the inside and I can’t hit what’s attacking me.” A tremor ran through him, small and scared. “I just feel so fucking helpless.”

Dave couldn’t help it. He reached for Karkat’s hand and held it close to him, brushing his thumb over the valleys and hills of the troll’s knuckles. Karkat’s eyes flew open at the contact, but he didn’t pull away.  
Dave was only holding his hand, but it felt bigger than that.

“I’m going to recover this time,” Karkat said. He looked down at their linked hands and Dave felt his fingers curl around until the faintest hint of claws tapped against the back of his hand as Karkat squeezed his fingers back.

“What about next time?” Dave asked. He didn’t want there to be a next time, but thinking otherwise was a bullshit thing to do. The words burned in his mouth.

“I might have died this time, if Jade hadn’t gotten me here so quickly,” Karkat said. “I’m still light-headed, but I’ll get better with rest. They took blood from every other troll to check for anomalies but it’s not like that’s a fucking shock,” he said, frowning. “I’m literally a walking off-spectrum genetic anomaly. I always expected my flawed genetic sequence to fuck me over in the end, but not like this.”

“I’m sorry,” Dave said, because he didn’t have anything else to say.

“Don’t be,” Karkat said, looking at him and at where Dave still held his hand. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

It was as close to acceptance, forgiveness, as Dave was going to get. It was harder to say things when they were face-to-face, and he couldn’t hold it against Karkat when he couldn’t say it either.

Karkat didn’t pull his hand away and Dave gulped, his throat too full of words he couldn’t say out loud. He sat there, Karkat’s hand in his, until the troll’s eyes closed again and he fell into fitful rest. Dave could still see how his eyes kept darting around under his eyelids.

“I’ll go,” Dave said, “You need to sleep Karkat.”

Karkat grunted at him without moving, then spoke. “I don’t think I can sleep here,” he said. “It’s just too fucking strange and it smells like death.” His eyes opened and he held up his free hand. With a lazy flick of the troll’s wrist one of his sickles materialized as he decaptchaloged it from his sylladex. The wicked edge shone in the sterile quarantine lighting. Karkat said nothing as he set the sickle beside him on the bed, but Dave could see his shoulders relax inestimably once the other Knight had a weapon nearby. He understood completely.

“I’ll stay overnight,” Dave said anyway. “I’ll be only a shout away if you need me.” Karkat grunted again and pulled the blanket higher. His hand felt cold now that Karkat’s wasn’t in it. “Try not to slice up any nurses,” Dave said as he made to slip out of the room. 

The beeping of the heart monitor began to smooth out and slow as Karkat struggled to keep his eyes open. “Just,” Karkat started. He sounded so tired. “Just don’t tell the others. I don’t want them to see me like this.”

“They won’t,” Dave promised, and he left Karkat to get some much needed rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an interesting chapter for me. I can clearly pick out the parts I wrote before patched together with the revised bits that I wrote when trying to beat this fic into submission and it leads to this jolting, erratic feel that swings wildly from one mood to another but somehow it kinda fits? 
> 
> Also I promise that this is the last 'bad' chapter for a while. After this things start to settle down into more agonizing slowburn because things would be so much easier IF THESE TWO IDIOTS JUST TALKED TO EACH OTHER


	7. Things go right for once

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Long Chapters are here. There's no escaping now. RIP my fingers

That night, Dave dreamed of the meteor from before. Before John and Jade and Davesprite had flown in on a Prospitian battleship manned by consorts, before Jade docked the golden ship alongside the meteor as it streaked through the Furthest Ring.

It had only taken them a year to catch up once Sollux psionically stalled the lab enough that it wasn’t rocketing along near the speed of light. Jade could have tried warping the ship to them, but space in the Furthest Ring wasn’t linear any more than time was, even for a fully godtiered Witch like Jade. It was a very long year to wait. That was the worst part- the waiting. 

There had only been Dave, Rose, Kanaya, Terezi, the Mayor, and Karkat left by that point. Gamzee technically was there but he’d fucked off to the vents after his murderclown spree and hadn’t been seen by anyone besides Karkat since. 

The reunion was short. John and Jade already knew what to do. The plan was already in place. Now that they were all together, it was time to bend the rules. Break the game. They had dead friends to save and a planet to bring back.

When Dave woke up from his fitful sleep, the first thing he did was pull up Pesterchum. There was someone that he needed to talk with. 

turntechGodhead (TG) began Pestering turntechGodhead (TG)! 

TG: yo dude are you there  
TG: its only been a a little over fucking week dave  
TG: whats up and please don’t let it be more shit to deal with  
TG: karkat had another attack and it was the worse one so far  
TG: he should recover this time but i want to talk with you  
TG: i know that weve fucked the game so hard by now that basic rules are obsolete to us but youre still a sprite and i need some advice  
TG: you know im like the least impartial person for you to ever get advice from. im just as clueless and emotionally fucked as you are  
TG: idk getting relationship advice from me seems kinda pointless and redundant  
TG: i know but its not about that its about the game  
TG: sollux still has no idea about merging the sessions and janes team is fucked if we dont and fucked if we do. karkats still fucked. were all basically fucked and i want to know if theres some way out of this where we arnt all arbitrarily killed and erased from existence as the universe and all of creation collapses around us  
TG: throw some light shit at me why dont you  
TG: alright so heres what i know  
TG: this session is fucked and unwinnable. so was the trolls and so is janes  
TG: skia is too broken to incubate the new universe in this fractured amalgamation of sessions and the other teams session is null probably as a factor to how fucked ours was before john scratched the mesa  
TG: i know thats why we need to get to janes session so they can get a proper battlefield and we can have a shot at winning  
TG: does that even sound remotely possible at this point?  
TG: i dont have all the answers dave. fuck i dont even know if theres a hope or a chance left  
TG: you helped when we brought back karkats team and copied earth  
TG: that wasnt help that was me explaining how to not draw paradox spaces attention to your rule breaking so it wouldnt crush us like insects beneath the boot of destiny like it was the wack a moron olympics  
TG: exactly.  
TG: i know youre busy training the consorts to man the battleship  
TG: like an army of tiny fucking nakodiles and turtles and shit so we can beat the hags flagship off long enough for jade to snatch up earth like its a fucking flash sale at the dollarstore and kill the condescension  
TG: i get the idea and i know youre busy but if you could id really appreciate your mystical spirit guide bullshit on the matter  
TG: fuck you too dave  
TG: im the worse guide in the history of the game probably. its fair because were the only person who was ever dumb enough to exploit time powers to self-prototype like the arrogant asshole we are.  
TG: hey fuck you too dude  
TG: anyway you know me. im you. ill try all i can  
TG: thats all we ever do

turntechGodhead (TG) ceased Pestering turntechGodhead (TG)! 

It wasn't exactly the fruitful conversation he'd been hoping to have, but it did clear up a few lingering doubts. Dave had to find a way to make this crazy plan work. There was no plan B. They'd gone all in months ago and the cards were falling into place.

The lab was loud and busy for it to be so early in the morning. Dave ignored the noise and stayed in his room until he got the message he'd been waiting for from Jade.

gardenGnostic (GG) began Pestering turntechGodhead (TG)! at 11:34am! 

GG: We're on our way back  
GG: I'll be there in a few seconds  
TG: thanks for the heads up

gardenGnostic (GG) ceased Pestering turntechGodhead (TG)!

Dave sighed and left to make it to the control room in time to witness Karkat's return. Everyone else had also crowded into the room, eager to catch a glimpse of their other leader. Dave fell into place beside John, who remained uncharacteristically silent as he waited. 

Jade warped them both over from the hospital with her lower lip between her teeth. “They said they wanted him to stay longer,” she said as the green fire died around her.

Karkat was already scowling as he moved away from the Witch, his fragile weakness from before completely gone beneath his usual veneer of ragey assholeness. “Fuck that,” he said. ‘I’m perfectly fine and anyone who thinks otherwise is an ignorant buldgemuncher who doesn’t deserve their own intact genitals.” His eyes were glowing and there was a spring back in his step. “I can’t stand that fucking place.”

Dave watched the troll closely. He did look better and was back to stalking the lab and yelling at everyone. It was almost like the attack didn’t happen. It made an uneasy feeling settle in his gut. He looked at Karkat expectantly, but the troll was studiously ignoring him as he argued with John and traded insults with Terezi just to avoid looking at the part of the room where Dave stood.

It hurt, but Dave had been expecting it. The last time he'd seen the troll they'd held hands and said things that they each shouldn't have said, and Karkat was known for hating his own weakness more than anything, and Dave had gotten a front row seat to a large portion of the troll's failing health and persistent insecurities. If their situations had been reversed Dave knew he wouldn't want to see himself either. This shit was awkward and burning and not the kind of thing that needed to be discussed or acknowledged in public, especially not when Karkat was struggling so hard to appear back to normal in front of the other trolls even though Dave could clearly see the shadows under his eyes and how he walked with his arms drawn up to his sides like he had an ache in his core.

Standing here doing nothing hurt to much to think about, so Dave reluctantly turned away. He'd find Karkat later and try to talk to him, but for now he understood that maybe they both needed some space and time to think.

His feet moved on their own. Dave wandered aimlessly through the depths of the lab. He wasn't paying attention to where he was going; he just focused on walking forward. There was probably some kind of symbolism there, but damn if Dave wasn't set on ignoring that too. The last thing he needed was to start drawing parallels between time and his behavior like some kind of freak who cared about things. 

Most of the meteor structure was underground now from where Jade and John had buried it and it was a shock to pass by familiar port windows and see rock and dirt and not stars.

Earth. He was on earth. Maybe one day he wouldn’t have to keep reminding himself of that. It was still surreal.

This hallway was dark. He knew he was near the room of Weird Dead Shit in massive tubes, a leftover from the Dersite war ectolab the meteor had once been before it’d been abandoned and Prospit and Derse destroyed by Jack, and he wasn’t as familiar with this part of the lab.

He kept walking, mulling things over as each old problem and worry cycled through his mind even as he tried to block them out. 

The vastly overpowered Jack Noir was still in stalemate with the new White Queen out in the Furthest Ring. None of them really knew what had gone down between all of the exiles after Jade had been assassinated by the Droll, no one except the Mayor. The tiny Dersite wouldn’t say anything about it or the game or Skia or anything. He got this distant sad look in his white eyes when anyone pushed him for answers. Dave had stopped trying within the first week. He respected the echo of blood shining in the carapacian’s eyes enough not to ask. It couldn’t have been a happy story. 

For a while they’d been the last of the last. The last four humans, the last four trolls, and the last three carapacians. One of the trolls was batshit insane and one of the carapacians an evil fully prototyped godboss who fused with a First Guardian so Jack and Gamzee didn’t count towards the amount of still living things left in the world. He had known that somewhere out there in the empty cosmos was John and Jade and a million consorts on each of their planets, but for a year the meteor had been desolate and stale with a dusty uninhabitance that made shadows seem darker.

He saw a streak of rusty brown on the floor of the lab and froze curiously. It looked like an old stain, crusty at the edges like blood.

Dave squinted at the spot with a sickening recognition. Fuck, it was blood. Dried brown and flecked across the floor from when Vriska had finished Tavros off and Gamzee fucked away with the body. Damn. He nudged the spot with the toe of one shoe. The blood… it actually didn’t bother him that bad. Tavros was alive and well again and this stain was just another old memory. He’d fixed this. 

The sudden drag of flesh made him spin around. From down the hall a shape unfolded itself from the shadows and Dave caught the outline of tall curved horns. Instantly his heart slammed into overdrive, a million old fears crawling up the back of his throat as Gamzee slid closer. The troll was in his element, the hard and abandoned halls of the deeper lab were his hunting grounds, riddled with old blood and stray horns. It was dark enough that Dave cursed the lack of light as his feet fell into a ready stance.

Gamzee stepped closer, his hands up and his feet dragging as he stumbled like he was trying to make noise. “Easy brother,” the troll growled, “I’m not here to hurt you.”

“That is such a reassuring statement,” Dave said coolly, and a sword appeared in his waiting hand. “Do you tell that to everyone you creep up on in the dark?”

He couldn’t help but goad the troll a little. His nerves were screaming with a deep and instinctive fear of the highblood that only manifested in the tightening of the cords that lined the back of his hands. If the troll made a move, he’d be ready. Dave wasn’t going to end up as a bloodstain on the floor. 

Gamzee tittered uncertainly, his shoulders swaying. “Why are you rambling about down here?” He asked, “Most don’t come down so deep no more.”

“I wonder why that is,” Dave said. “It may be because after dying a few times the common sense kicks in.” He didn’t trust the troll, and it showed in his voice and his posture and how he held his sword. 

Gamzee blinked at him slowly.

“That ain’t me no more,” Gamzee said, like he was unsure of the truth of his words. The troll set one clawed hand to the side of the lab wall like he was afraid it would fall away at his touch. “Karkat drug the murder out of me a while ago. That wasn’t me, thinking like that. Killing friends.”

Dave didn’t move. “Karkat knew where you where the whole time, didn’t he?” Dave asked. He’d guessed the answer years ago, but it was still good to hear the truth. 

“Karbro? Motherfuck, yes,” Gamzee said, and his eyes were oddly focused and unfocused all at once. It was unnerving. “He taught me to think past the silence left in my pan once the voices stopped.” 

“Voices?” Dave asked slowly.

“Not no more,” Gamzee continued. He tapped one long claw against his skull. “Now there’s only me in here. I ain’t been lonesome like that in sweeps. Not so crowded, you know, brother?” The troll asked, his face still calm and unmurderous. Dave knew Gamzee had been keeping his head down, even fucking going to highschool like the reformed clown cultist he was, but seeing him in the drip and dark of the lab with Tavros’s blood at his feet made all that fall away.

The troll blinked at him slowly. “Why are you hiding away down here anyway?” Gamzee asked. “I know I do cause everyone gives me the sideeyes and Terezi wants my blood, but why you? S’not right,” he said.

“I just needed some time alone,” Dave answered, too rattled to lie. 

Gamzee nodded. “This is a good place for that shit,” he said. “Thinking.” He sounded awestruck, like the shadows around him had led him to religion before they’d dumped him on his ass. “Only thing is thoughts start to bounce off the walls after so long, start knocking things over then.”

“Yeah,” Dave said, uncomfortable but willing to try this out. If there was way to walk away from this encounter clean, he’d take it. “That actually makes no sense, you know that right?”

Gamzee just shrugged. “It might not make the right sense,” he said. “But it’s the only sense I’ve got.”

This was creepy as fuck. The highblood was unbalanced in the head and murderhappy when the mood took him. “I don’t think we’ve really talked before,” Dave said, testing the waters. “Not since that one pesterlog where, get this, I actually fucking told you to listen to the voices and kill everyone,” Dave admitted. Yeah, that particular guilt had three years to simmer nice and potent. 

“That’s not your fault,” Gamzee said, fast and thoughtless, the response too automatic to sound sincere. “You weren’t made for believing in the mirthful. You ain’t got a drop of the whimsy in your veins,” he said, chuckling low in his throat at the memory. “You said I was trolling you.”

“Call me a non-believer,” Dave said, and his sword was ready to dance in his hands if that had been a threat. “But even if I thought you were just fucking with me I shouldn’t have said that.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered,” Gamzee said carelessly. “Too late then to stop it. I was pan-rotted.”

There was a moment of silence. “Well,” Dave breathed, “I’m glad to see that you’ve gotten your shit together.” 

“Do I?” Gamzee chuckled like the thought was funny. “Karbro thinks so.”

“Karkat never gave up on you, you know that?” Dave said. He wasn’t sure why he said it, but the truth was out now. Karkat had his flaws, but the troll was fucking loyal. 

“Karkat,” Gamzee repeated. The troll smiled a wide smile that showed too many teeth than should have been possible. “Karkat’s the reason I fucking hunted you out just now to get our conversation on.”

“I’m not surprised,” Dave said. “The two of you have always been in cahoots.”

“Anyfuck,” Gamzee said, “You’re the one who got this whole plan on the start. Got us here and planetside for treating him and his blood. It’s done turned on him something wicked.”

It was the most coherent thing the troll had said so far, and warning bells began to go off inside Dave’s head. It wasn’t a secret to any of the trolls what Karkat’s bloodcolor was, but like fuck did Dave want more proof of it coming from the indigoblood, especially when his eyes were too sharp to pass for crazy. 

The troll was maddeningly unstable but Gamzee had never been stupid. Maybe he knew something Dave didn't. Dave had to ask though, to keep pushing for anything that might help Karkat. “Do you know what it is?”

“Mutant,” Gamzee hissed, and small hairs jumped to attention at the back of Dave’s neck. “Vile filth. It's motherfuckin cullbait. It’s his motherfucking heresies bleeding out too bright to be motherfuckin clean. What he is shouldn’t have ever crawled out of the brooding caverns.”

Dave may have fucked up. The troll’s voice was growing louder, grew into a rippling snarl and Gamzee’s claws drug lines across the steel of the lab wall. “Hey,” Dave said softly, trying to pull Gamzee’s attention back on him, “Listen. What about Karkat? What did you want to tell me?”

The troll froze and struggled to focus on Dave with his lips pulled up into a silent snarl. “Karkat?”

“Your palemate,” Dave said, hoping to deescalate the situation. “The one in diamonds with you. Short guy, nubby horns, I know you remember him.”

“Yeah, fucking Karbro,” Gamzee said, clinging to the name. “Moirail mine.” Gamzee blinked and shook his head like he was clearing a swarm of wasps. “He wouldn’t like it much if I smeared you across the walls.”

Dave swallowed thickly.

“That’s it,” Gamzee said proudly, his eyes brightening. “That’s what I fucking wanted to say. I motherfucking remember it now I’ve got my chill on.” The troll scrubbed at his eyes with his claws in a way that couldn’t be comfortable. “It’s about you. Davebro. The red human alien.”

“That’s me,” Dave said, curious now beneath his unease. “I am the red human alien. What was it?”

“Karkat’s got his dying on thick,” Gamzee said. The troll sounded like he was just stating a fact, albeit an unpleasant one. “It’s my business to be looking after him the way he looks after me. His quadrants is my motherfucking business.”

Quadrants. Gamzee had got to be fucking kidding him. Dave would rather go back to the death threats.

“Karkat’s an angry thing,” Gamzee said. “Most of all at himself. You’re all making it easy to motherfucking see, but Karkat’s going to need you to spit that shit out in person.”

“What shit? I have all my shit under control,” Dave lied. 

“Your liking Karkat shit,” Gamzee said plainly. “If you’ve got red notions for my palebro s’not my fucking job to be judging that shit,” he said. “But if you mean to be serious, you’ll need to tell him soon.”

Dave swallowed again, his throat dry. The universe worked in fucked up ways sometimes. Even if a future Dave had told him this morning that he’d be talking about getting in Karkat’s red quadrant with fucking Gamzee of all trolls he wouldn’t have believed it.

“What the fuck,” Dave said.

“I know he’s motherfucking flushed for you,” Gamzee said, and only a lifetime of training kept the Knight’s mouth from falling open in sheer incredulous disbelief. “Fucker can’t shut up about it sometimes. Real sweet shit, ya know?”

“Yeah,, hold on,” Dave said quickly. “I need a minute.” He began typing a rapid message to Rose on his shades.

turntechGodhead (TG) began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 4:24 pm!

TG: rose  
TG: rose hey rose rose answer me you would not believe the shit that is going down right now  
TT: Would I be correct in an assumption that a certain troll has cornered you about your blatant interest in Karkat? Perhaps a troll already in a quadrant with him?  
TG: fuck

He turned back to Gamzee. “Have you been talking to Rose?”

“Sure,” Gamzee nodded enthusiastically. “Lightsis helps Karkat with my thinkpan. Rose helped with the, the uh, therapy shit? I think that’s what she motherfucking called it.”

“Oh my god,” Dave said. His mind felt like putty at this point, nearly liquefied by the lethal amounts of irony. “This shit is incredible. I couldn’t make this up if I tried.”

TT: Would such a notion be in fact a thing that is currently happening?  
TG: rose you sly fucker i love you  
TG: thanks sis. i think i needed this  
TT: Karkat is currently retreating to his block for the afternoon. I hope you make proper use of this information, Dave.  
TG: btw gam says hi  
TT: Tell him I would be glad to offer help whenever he needs it.  
TG: man our lives are so fucking weird sometimes rose  
TG: anyway g2g gotta go propose my undying affection to one short nubby horned alien  
TG: see this shit right here is exactly what i mean this isnt even a weird thing for me to say  
TG: fuck why is it so easy to admit my said undying affection to you over pesterchum but i can barely blink at the guy without clamming up like a bankers wallet at church when the collection tin comes by little old ladies be glaring up a storm  
TT: Just go to him Dave. I can’t imagine an outcome in which you don’t.  
TG: well that’s not cryptically unhelpful at all  
TT: Good luck.  
TG: thanks rose

He turned back to Gamzee. “Thanks man. Sometimes I need to have some sense smacked into me.”

“Happy to lend a hand,” the troll said, then narrowed his eyes and growled menacingly. His fangs flashed in the dim lighting. “If you hurt him I’ll pull your spine out through your shoutbox.”

“Death threat received,” Dave answered smoothly. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He tucked his sword back into his sylladex, ready to slam time to a stop if Gamzee rushed him but not really that worried. He felt like they had an understanding between them now. They both cared deeply about Karkat.

He left the troll still lurking in the shadows of the lab behind as he nearly ran back to civilization. Sollux was bent over his computers in the common room and didn’t react as he sped by. Feferi was herding a group of beetles out by the front door while Equius repaired where Dave had sliced through the wall. John was nearby somewhere. Dave knew because there was a breeze drafting through the room.

He ducked down a different hallway. Karkat’s block was near his own because Dave had intentionally chosen one close to him after he and Rose had blown up/created the Green Sun. That little snippet of information tucked itself neatly into his frontal lobe with all the subtlety of a New York jackhammer. Jesus, how long had he been fooling himself? Even at the beginning he couldn't keep himself away from the troll. 

Karkat's door was closed, so Dave knocked politely before his resolve broke. He’d battled hordes of imps and even a pack of oil basilisks and he’d never felt this unsteady on his feet.

“Who the fuck is it?” Karkat yelled from behind the door.

Dave’s actions caught up to him all at once. Shit. He couldn’t do this. This was insane. Dave could not just walk in the door and admit his true feelings to Karkat. The world would implode. The sun itself would go out. Jack would spontaneously teleport in and stab him through the heart. It was impossible.

His confidence withered in his chest. He silently turned to leave, to slink away before anything else could happen, and found the way blocked by a future Dave in full red godtier wear. He stared at himself impassively and the other Dave stared back. He hadn’t realized his pale hair had gotten long enough to brush against the top of his shades until he saw it face to face. It was a silent battle of wills behind their shades even though not a word was said.

“Dude,” Dave said at last. “Did we really abuse time travel to give ourselves a pep talk?”

“Fuck yes,” The other him said. “Now get in there.”

“Who the fuck are you talking to out there?” Karkat yelled. “Dave, I know that’s you.”

Dave nodded at himself and allowed himself the smallest of smiles. He’d been running mostly linear while on the meteor and it’d been a while since he’d felt time flow beneath his fingers. “Be you later dude,” Dave said, and Karkat screeched from inside his block.

“Dave you utter fucking dipshit, why are you standing outside my door if you’re planning on ignoring me?”

“I’m not ignoring you,” Dave yelled back. Between one blink and the next the future Dave vanished with a smirk and a twist of his Timetables just in time for Karkat to fling open the door with a scowl.

“Like fuck you aren’t,” the troll said, completely unaware of the second Dave he'd missed by half a heartbeat. “Now what do you want?”

Relax. Breathe. If a future Dave had been here that meant that somehow Dave mans the fuck up and gets through this. It was a temporal inevitability now. To fail was to be crushed mercilessly by Paradox Space. No pressure. His mouth was so dry as he asked, “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” Karkat said slowly, giving him an odd look. “You’re acting fucking weird though.”

He’d been inside Karkat’s room before. There were lots of alchemized troll posters and spare sickles, a purple computerstand with legs and wires than glowed an acid green, and a bare spot in the corner where no slime pod sat. They’d never figured out how to alchemize sopor for the trolls and instead a small bed more pillows than mattress was crammed along one wall.

Karkat was wearing his normal sweater with his sign stitched in anonymous gray. The sleeves swallowed his toned arms and the collar rose up his neck from old habits of keeping as much of his gray skin covered as possible. His dark hair stuck up all over his skull and his horns jutted out from the fluffy mess with spots of orange keratin and bone. His yellow eyes were still gray with his age, ever present bags beneath them from a lifetime of sleepless days. 

“You’re staring, Strider,” Karkat said. “I can’t see your eyes but I know you’re fucking staring. What’s up with you?”

Dave’s mouth was too busy cosplaying the Sahara desert for him to answer. He had no idea how to do this. Lay everything out on the metaphorical table and hope for the best? Should he be romantic like something out of one of the troll’s romcoms? Karkat loved those sappy things. How the fuck does one even act romantic? Was he just supposed to blurt it out?!

“I talked with Gamzee,” he said, just to break the painfully awkward silence. His mouth continued to run ahead before his brain caught up with it. “Is it true? Are you flushed for me?”

Karkat’s throat made a cracked noise, like he’d choked on air with a squeak. “What?”

Fuck. Too late now to take it back. “Is it?”

“How the fuck did you and fucking Gamzee even get together to talk about quadrants?” Karkat sputtered, but Dave caught a red blush rising in his face that probably matched his own. He wondered if overdosing on sheer awkwardness would be a Just death. 

“He kind of tracked me down,” Dave said stupidly, his mouth still running without any conscious input. “He was really concerned about me not breaking your heart or he’d smear my corpse across the walls or some shit.”

“HE FUCKING WHAT?!” Karkat yelled, and Dave nearly flinched back from the burst of loud noise. His brain caught up to what shit he’d been spewing out of his mouth and he shut his jaw with a snap. Shit he was so bad at this.

“Listen,” Dave tried, “I just asked-”

“I’m going to cull him,” Karkat threatened, nearly hyperventilating. “What the fuck-”

This was getting out of hand. This shit was off the handle. The shit was so far off the handle it’s gotten a divorce, split the shit’s kids, and is currently engaged in a rotating weekend shift of parental responsibility for the little shits. The handle is so far removed from the shit that it’s been enrobed by the divorce court. Shit everywhere tells stories about the handle due to its mythic ability to make shit fly off of it. 

Oh jegus did he just fucking say all of that out loud? Smooth Strider, real smooth. 

“Shut the fuck up!” Karkat snarled at him, “Of all the pandead things to say to me-”

Dave was a fucking idiot. His chill was the shit, and his coolness was the handle. 

“Wait,” Dave said desperately, “Shit I know I’m fucking this up, sorry, but I’m fucking flushed for you too." Oh god, he'd said it. Out loud. Fuck, he couldn't afford stop now. "There, I said it. I’m flushed or red or hearts or whatever the fuck trolls call the emotion of deeply caring about a significant other and also wanting to do stupid shit like hold hands and I don’t even fucking know, fuck. Fuck everything!” Dave stuttered, his carefully constructed emotional shields in shambles around him as he nervously ran one hand through his hair.

Karkat’s face had frozen mid-snarl, teeth still bared. “You’re what?”

“I’m… you know what? Fuck it.” Dave said. He was fully prepared to get eviscerated by the furious troll as he stepped closer.

Karkat just blinked at him, his face shifting through a million different expressions all at once. Dave would have to freeze time to count them all.

“I know I’ve fucked up things between us in the past and I’m sure there’s several dozen cultural differences and emotional clusterfucks between us but I just wanted you to know,” Dave said in a rush, like he couldn’t get the words out fast enough. “I just-”

“Dave,” Karkat snapped, “Shut up.” The troll also stepped closer, until his face was only inches away and all Dave could see was his lips as they just kept coming closer.

It occurred to Dave in whatever dim part of his mind that was still functioning, emergency alarms blaring loudly as sirens screamed eight billion different warnings, that he should move away. That he was too close, and Karkat was close enough that he could physically feel the warmth of him through the air and hear all of the small noises he made when he moved and breathed and yes Dave liking Karkat was a thing that happened and he could finally admit it to himself but he just… just fucking froze. 

It was too much. Everything was too much.

Karkat paused, his head tilted slightly upward, his eyes only three inches away. “Are you okay?” He asked, waiting, clearly asking for permission.

Permission- what a concept! “Yeah, man, I’m fucking fine,” Dave said at once, his heart pounding. “It’s, it’s just a lot to take in all at once.”

Karkat’s hands knotted in the front of his shirt, but that just made it worse even as the troll leaned away. “You haven’t been kissed before, have you?”

Dave laughed nervously as a dozen different orders ran through his mind as Karkat asked the wrong question. Lie. “Hell yeah,” he said, remixing his truths until any deeper meanings got scrambled by the mixer. “Just not like this.”

Karkat moved away, his eyes unreadable. The space between them made Dave’s head feel clearer, and he realized how keenly he was fucking this entire thing up. He couldn’t drop a bombshell on Karkat like that and then freak the fuck out over something as small as a kiss. That’s not what sane people did. That's now how this was supposed to go, not after three years of planning and hoping and pining. 

Dave scrambled to cover his ass, “It’s okay. I’m cool with it if you are.”

“You don’t look like it,” Karkat said flatly. “This was a mistake, wasn’t it?” He asked, stepping back further. 

Dave felt the space between them, every cold inch of it.

“You don’t have to stay,” Karkat said, turning away. “You’re not under any obligations to feel sorry for me.”

Hearing that was like someone had stuck him with a knife and then twisted it. “It’s not a mistake,” Dave said, unable to explain. Even in his head the words got mixed up and turned into nothing whenever he tried to think about saying them. He could never tell Karkat, but maybe he could show him. “Kiss me.”

“What?”

“Kiss me,” Dave said again, his voice shaking. “I’m not acting under any fucking obligations and I can prove it.”

Karkat looked at him, uncertain still. “This isn’t some new cruel way of fucking with me?”

“Never,” Dave answered, cut to the core from the suggestion that he could ever do something like that to Karkat. God, that idea hurt. 

“And you’re sure?” Karkat asked, as if unable to believe it. 

“I am 100% certain that I want you to kiss me,” Dave forced himself to answer, because he did, he wanted to kiss Karkat. He wanted to exist here, in this moment. He didn’t want a dozen past hangups and lingering nightmares to get in the way of something that he’d been dreaming about for weeks. 

This time, he was the one who stepped closer. 

Karkat still regarded him with caution, like he expected the punchline to hit any second, and that was Dave’s fault wasn’t it? For being an emotionless asshole?

Karkat swallowed thickly, Dave could hear the overwhelming amount of sound it made. His senses were in overdrive.

“Alright,” Karkat decided. “I’ll kiss you.”

Dave’s heart fluttered at the words, and no small amount of sharp relief hit him. The relief lingered long enough that he was able to hold his nerve for long enough for the troll to close the remaining distance between them and carefully press his lips against Dave’s.

Every errant thought running through Dave’s head came to a crashing halt. Karkat’s lips were warm and careful as he waited for something else to happen. 

“Okay holy shit,” Dave finally said. Karkat’s nose was nearly touching his own. He could feel the breath across his cheek. “That was…”

Karkat kissed him again, and this time Dave thought fuck yes as he kissed back. He resolved to just stop talking and focused on a different activity for his mouth to do. He’d never done this before, but Dave let the heat flooding his lips guide him as he moved his mouth against Karkat’s. 

He was breathless even though it was just a kiss, because it was Karkat he was kissing. Karkat was even kissing him back. The universe hadn’t imploded on them. The Alpha timeline hadn’t skewed off into some new hell torment dimension of pain and suffering. He’d done it. He’d actually fucking done it! He was kissing Karkat. 

This was fucking great. This was altogether the best thing that had ever happened to him. The kiss stayed slow and tame. Dave wasn’t sure what to do with his hands so they stayed at his sides as he cautiously tested how okay this was. This was Okay. This was Fine. He was Fine. 

“You are oddly good at this,” Dave said absently when the kiss broke off so that Karkat could breathe, still blinking through the haze behind his shades. 

Karkat actually let out a breathless laugh, giddy with excitement. “Was that okay?”

Dave swallowed. “Yeah,” he said. He was breathless too. He could feel himself blushing, the heat rising up his neck. “It was more than okay.”

Karkat smiled, a full, wide smile that made his eyes crinkle and his face light up.

Outside the sun continued to shine, but it couldn’t eclipse the expanding warmth and light growing in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *screams throughout the entirety of that emotional rollercoaster*
> 
> That last scene was actually the first kissing scene I ever tried to write and I left it mostly untouched because like... dang. Nostalgia 
> 
> yo catch me on tumblr if you want to scream at me ;)


	8. A completely normal schoolday yep nothing to see here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s the attack of the 10k plus chapters with even more pesterlogs that might just kill me off because it takes so long to format and code them all
> 
> But oh yeah, its time for the actual plot to start

Dave made the jump back later that night. Time travel was stupidly easy for him. Time was always so eager to surround him with its pulse and flow and his fingers fit the grooves in his timetables like they’d been made for him. Its remarkable ease was most of why he’d fucked it up so much before he godtiered. Time let him mess with it and its instruction manual was non-existent, so there had been no way for him to know how badly he was fucking everyone over until the dead Daves had started piling up.

This was just one stable loop, not even a blip on his inner time radar. It was safe by virtue of yet more temporal inevitability. These loops were his favorite. They lent a structure and order to a system dedicated to total entropy, and when his feet hit the floor of the lab exactly seven hours and sixteen minutes in the past he was greeted with the sight of his younger past self.

The other Dave’s resolve had just broken. Dave could read more than he should have in the flat line of his own mouth as the past Dave stared impassively at him. His hair was really starting to bug him. He’d have to get Kanaya to cut it soon before it grew out more into the realm of shaggy trollishness. 

“Dude,” Past him said. “Did we really abuse time travel to give ourselves a pep talk?”

“Fuck yes,” Dave said. “Now get in there.” His cape was heavy and comforting at his shoulders and his lips burned with the memory of what his past self was about to experience.

“Who the fuck are you talking to out there?” Karkat yelled from behind the closed door. “Dave, I know that’s you.”

Dave had to strangle his urge to share a smile with himself. This was gold. This was what time travel should be used for- giving past selves the pep talked they needed to get in there and mack on their crush. Not dying repeatedly in a failed attempt to set things right in more broken timelines that he could remember. 

“Be you later dude,” the other Dave said while Karkat screeched from inside his block.

“Dave, you utter fucking dipshit, why are you standing outside my door if you’re planning on ignoring me?” Cue the angry Karkat, just like before. 

“I’m not ignoring you,” Past him yelled back. It was time for Dave to go. He remembered that he hadn’t stuck around for another few seconds, and he could feel the beat of time synched up with his heartbeat and just knew the exact second he needed to jump back to the present. It took less than a second before it was over. 

His timestables returned to his sylladex and he collapsed onto his bed with a grin on his face. The expression felt strange. He didn’t allow himself to show much emotion, but he’d been so overloaded these past few hours that they were leaking out on their own like some kind of oozing happiness pus. For once it didn’t make him feel weird or guilty.

He was too wired to sleep, even with the looming but surreal threat of school in the morning. He put on his headphones and let the beats of one of his better remixes play on repeat in his ears until he managed to drift off.  
…

 

He didn’t bother with dressing in the morning. He just switched his godtier outfit out with a normal one from his sylladex as he forced down a bitter cup of alchemized maybe-coffee. It was probably a mixture of cat piss and stale sweat, but it kept his eyes open throughout first block and even algebra. 

Dave couldn’t keep his eyes off of Karkat. Rose kept giving him these little knowing glances, a small smirk on her face like she could see his every inch of kissed skin. Sollux companionably flicked him off, his fanged grin shit-eating. Dave returned the gesture and received a detention he’d never serve and Gamzee kept staring peacefully off into the cinder block walls, lost to the world. Somehow, Dave was completely certain that they knew. He was more certain that it was all Rose's fault. 

Hmmmm. Dave wasn't sure exactly what he thought about that yet. 

Karkat sat by him at lunch. The troll stood uncertainly by the wall, a sea of other teen humans made him stand out like a sore thumb. He was the black sheep of the trolls and in a normal high school his every move screamed alien. 

Objectively, Dave could recognize how strange Karkat and the rest of the trolls were. Their dark gray skin and hair like oil slicks instantly marked them as different, the tall sweeping rise of yellow and orange bone horns just cemented the idea. The differences didn't stop there. Vriska had a metal arm and too many pupils crammed in one eye. Tavros’s legs creaked with metal joints as he walked. Sollux always smelled like burning ozone. Aradia wore spirits in her eyes. Kanaya was fucking undead. And then there was Karkat. 

Karkat walked like he was marching into a fight. He moved with the inborn grace of a Knight, hands always half-curled at his sides and ready for a weapon. His eyes blazed with passion and anger and the will to keep taking the hits as they came. He’d put his friends behind him and face down anything in their defense. He’d led the twelve Alternians to victory in their session with a merciless assault that not even their planet’s denizens had survived.

Dave had three years to desensitize to the trolls. He could understand the clicking growls and chirps they made. He could read the sharp script doodled across Karkat’s homework and he knew what most of the nonsense English words they used for human things actually meant. 

So he understood that when Karkat hesitated before sitting down, his shoulders tense and his face failing to stay impartial, it wasn’t because he didn’t want to be seen sitting next Dave in such a public setting. Dave could feel all of the eyes on the pair of them just as much as Karkat could.

“Hey,” he said, “I saved you a seat.” Dave kicked the chair leg beside him and was relieved when the troll rolled his eyes.

“You’re awfully fucking smug,” Karkat noted grumpily, and Dave couldn’t hold back a smile.

“Maybe I am a little smug,” Dave admitted, at ease and lounging in the hard plastic chair. “I’m in a good mood today.”

“Well that’s one good thing that’s happened today,” Karkat said as he fell heavily into the chair with a huff of annoyance. “The schoolfeeder never took her eyes off of me.”

“They’re probably under orders. Jade did rip us out of school last week. Even blind as most highschool faculty are when it comes to what the student body is up to, they were bound to notice.” Dave said, glad that this felt normal and not weird. This was fine. He could sit with Karkat at lunch. It didn’t matter who saw. The one person who would have condemned this was long gone, and good fucking riddance. 

The thought wasn’t strong enough to stop Dave from sweeping his gaze over the crowded cafeteria, the tiny hairs on the back of his neck stiff, but there was no sign of the raggedy orange ballcap he hadn’t seen in three years. He drug his eyes back to Karkat with some effort when he realized the troll was still talking, that weird tense feeling held in his core, the waiting. 

“Your Earth politityrants and your feeble excuse for human legislacerators can go suck a bulge,” Karkat was saying, oblivious to Dave’s brief mental slip. “I’m fucking fine.”

“Objection,” Terezi slid into the empty seat across from them like she’d been summoned by the mention of the word legislacerator, her grin manic and snaggle-toothed. “Even insulting these legal processes as you were, calling them legislacerators is something I can’t abide,” She grimaced. “These are no legislacerators. None of them would last a minute in a real courtblock. His Honorable Tyranny would eat them and then spit them out with masticated remains of the guilty defendants.”

“Why am I not surprised that you used the word masticated?” Karkat sighed, exasperated. “You just want to lick His Honorable Tyranny, don’t you?”

“That is disrespectful and I’m offended,” Terezi deadpanned, “Karkat, I am a professional.”

“I still don’t know what the fuck an honorable tyranny is,” Dave mentioned. “Some kind of super judge, but it eats the guilty party right?”

“Wrong,” Terezi said gleefully. “His Honorable Tyranny eats everyone who shows contempt for the courtblock proceedings or shows incompetence at the stand. No member of the Cruelest Bar would ever stand for incompetence on that level. Guilty until proven guiltier,” She grinned. “The accused are thrown to the subjugglators or out the airlock. Or to the winning legislacerator as punishment demands.” Her grin was wicked thing. 

“Remind me to never get arrested on Alternia,” Dave said, nonchalant as Terezi let out a bark of laughter.

“Dave, you would never make it to see the inside of a courtblock,” she said, wrinkling her nose. “Under Alternian law you are not considered a higher life form and would be simply killed on sight in all conceivable circumstances no matter the accused crime.” Terezi said helpfully, still grinning as she sniffed at him, then at the apple on her tray before she speared it through with a plastic knife, delighted at the spatter of juice that came out.

“That sounds pretty fucking familiar,” Karkat said darkly, watching her mangle her lunch with distaste. “At least I never had to worry about ending up in a courtblock.”

Terezi swallowed her laughter with a grimace as Dave hissed in his breath. She set down the plastic knife and crossed her fingers underneath her chin. “I would have defended you,” she said quietly. “Even as a Neophyte. Even against the rule of the Empress. An argument for your usefulness could have been made if you’d lived until Ascension.”

“How likely would daring to do so have resulted in both of our bloody and unimaginably painful deaths?” Karkat asked, not out of curiosity, but like he wanted affirmation on what he’d already guessed. 

“Oh there is no way we could have won,” Terezi shrugged. “Not in a million sweeps. Our deaths would have been assured and deliciously painful, for you at least. But,” she grinned, red eyes wide behind her glasses. “I bet it would have tasted sweet while it lasted. I’m almost sorry I never got the chance to smell the looks on their faces when the empire caught sight of you, Karkat.”

“Har fucking har,” the troll said sarcastically, his eyes blazing. “I wouldn’t have made it to Ascension, but I would never have died quietly.”

“An example would have been made,” Terezi agreed. “All of the jadebloods in the brooding caverns would surely have been executed, as well as anyone who ever had the misfortune of coming into contact with you. Your lusis in particular would have been hunted down and your Trollian account hacked into and the twelve of us summarily killed off just to save face.”

That sounded like an awful amount of trouble to go through over one aberrant mutantblood whose crime was simply existing. Dave said as much out loud.

Both of the trolls just stared at him. He felt stupidly human.

“Sometimes I forget that the four of them don’t know everything yet,” Terezi commented. Her dragoncane tapped rhythmically against the floor as she returned to sawing into the apple. “I’m sure Karkat would love to schoolfeed you on the subject of his ridiculously mythic blood and what it meant.” The bell rang, a high and nasal sound like metal tearing in the middle of a swarm of Sollux’s computer bees.

Karkat growled at her with a low warning, the sound nearly hidden under the droning of the bell. This close to Karkat Dave could feel it’s sharp grating deep in his ear canals, all menace. “Can it, Terezi.”

She cackled and left her tray on the table, the mangled apply left abandoned in all its glory like a fruit-based edifice to Caesar, stab wounds and all, as she sauntered away. “Smell you in human history!”  
…

 

Equius and Nepeta were the ones to tell him that Sollux had gone missing. An instant later, of all things, Eridan messaged him through Pesterchum. Dave scanned the violet text while he typed out a rapid message to both Karkat and Jade.

caligulasAquarium (CA) began pestering turntechGodhead (TG)!

CA: hey dave. I knoww this might be seeming random as fuck given wwe nevver really talked before, but are you and karkat officially a thing now? Is that something that happened?

Dave nearly groaned. Fuck his life.

turntechGodhead (TG) opened memo [More Bullshit Antics] and invited carcinoGeneticist (CG) and gardenGnostic (GG) to chat!

TG: where the fuck is sollux at and whyd he fuck off on us  
CG: THAT’S SOMETHING I’D LIKE TO KNOW AS WELL. AND WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU USING A MEMO? DAVE, WE’RE IN THE SAME ROOM AS YOU.  
GG: Shhhh! We can’t text in class or the teacher will get mad at us.  
CG: OUT OF ALL THE DUMBSHIT THINGS I’VE HEARD BEFORE, THIS ONE IS ONE OF THE HIGHEST. FUCK YOUR SCHOOLFEEDER JADE. SHE CAN’T STOP ME FROM CHATTING TO MY BLOODPUSHER’S CONTENT.  
GG: Karkat please :/

His messages beeped again, the words flashing across his shades.

CA: davve I can see you sitting there from here wwhy aren’t you answwerin me?

He resisted the urge to beat his head against his desk at just how fucking stupid his name looked in the seadweller’s quirk. He kept his face blank as he answered the troll, scratching at the paper with his pencil to look like he was focused on his schoolwork. His shades were fucking awesome.

TG: that double vv is't your quirk and please never show it to me again  
CA: wwhat, you don't like it? i wwas tryin somethin out  
TG: oh my god  
TG: me and karkat are a thing that happened. he has neatly sorted me into his red quadrant thingy and were now in a xeno relationship like highschool sweethearts in the honeymoon phase abd i know thats a shitty simile but im kind of busy atm  
TG: yes its official im pretty sure everyone else already knows about it tho if you wanted to be the one to spread the sweet deets  
CA: oh.  
CA: that’s somefin I guess.  
TG: something  
CA: i think so yeah.  
CA: its hard to explain. Like fuck, even i saww something like this coming but noww that its happened i thought i’d be upset or mad or somefin? like, that’s howw i should feel, but i don’t and it’s kind of freaking me out?  
TG: oh my god are you serious  
CA: yes I am noww pay attention.

A second notification popped up through his shades and Dave saw cerulean text. 

arachnidsGrip (AG) began Pestering turntechGodhead (TG)!

Holy shit why?

AG: Dave, I hear you’ve fiiiiiiiinally managed to reel in our mutual shouty friend. Good job! I never thought you’d actually have the spine to man the fuck up and communicate your feelings to him.  
TG: oh my god why are you doing this? this is just because youre bored in class and want to fuck with me isnt it?  
AG: Dave I would never! I care deeply about the 8oth of you and the interpersonal relationships of the team are of great interest to all of us.  
AG: Allllllll of us Dave.  
TG: naw fuck it im not dealing with this shit right now you can troll me later i guess but not right now  
AG: L8er? Its funny how you think my time deserves to 8e spent trolling someone like you. I have so many other, 8etter things to do with my time.  
TG: see thats what you always do. you try to rile us up and when we dont fall for it like dipshits because we have more than two braincells you turn on us and claim that youre so important, like the hottest shit out there, but really its just an excuse to save face. these weak-ass insults are boring now anyway so kindly fuck off unlike you ive got shit to deal with.

Dave saw more furious blue text spamming him but ignored it. He should probably block Vriska later, and the seadweller was still rambling.

CA: back on alternia I get things wwere different and wwe’re here noww and alternia is gone, but all that i kneww wwhile on planet is still in me. or i thought it was. noww i’m not so sure.  
CA: fef thinks it’s all meaningless anywway. all that shit wwe did back on alternia? everything. it’s dead and gone noww and wwe’re all that’s left and i get alternia was a hot mess about some things but i nevver wwanted the planet destroyed. i guess that makes me a fuckin villain for wwanting his home back but it’s true.  
CA: and kar wwas the only other troll besides fef that acted like he cared about my melodramatic bullshit and i guess there’s still a part of me that cares about him as wwell? the hemospectrum had a lot of faults in it and i think that hating karkat wwas the biggest of them all.  
TG: congratulations man on not being a total racist and not blindly following the same caste bullshit that led you to killing both feferi and kanaya.  
CA: yes exactly. good point.  
CA: i think dying gavve me a lot of perspectivve i nevver had before.  
TG: i know  
TG: dying always seems to fuck things up but it does grant some life lessons in exchange. i.e, common sense  
CA: wwhat i wwanted to say wwas thanks.  
CA: if you make him happy then wwho am i to feel bitter about it? and i guess just since wwe’re havvin this convvo right noww that i should also say thanks for both bringin me back even wwith all the bad shit i did wwhen i wwas younger, and thank you for making kar happy.  
TG: actually thanks to you too. this conversation didn’t go nearly as awful as i predicted it to  
CA: you’re not that bad, for a human  
CA: davve  
TG: ill let that one slide only if you never type my name like that ever again seriously its some kind of affront to both nature and society  
CA: sounds fair

The memo he’d opened with Karkat and Jade was still blowing up. Dave had to scroll all the way to the top to get up to speed.

CG: WHERE THE FUCK DID SOLLUX FUCK OFF TO? HOW COULD HE EVEN MANAGE TO SLIP AWAY WHILE WE’RE LOCKED IN THIS HELLISH BUILDING ANYWAY?  
GG: do you think he tried to walk back to the lab or the base? What if something happened?  
CG: I DON’T THINK SO. IF SOMETHING HAPPENED WE’D KNOW ABOUT IT. I’VE BEEN MESSAGING HIM BUT HE ISN’T ANSWERING. I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M EVEN FUCKING SURPRISED RIGHT NOW. HE’S ALWAYS ONLINE BUT HE NEVER FUCKING ANSWERS WHENEVER SHIT GOES DOWN. WHAT’S THE USE OF ALL HIS BI-CODED BULLSHIT OF A THINKPAN IF HE NEVER FUCKING USES IT?  
GG: Well he couldn’t have gotten far.  
GG: What if he just wasn’t feeling well and stepped outside for a minute to clear his head? That’s not his fault.  
CG: HE’S BEEN MISSING FOR THE ENTIRE LENGTH OF THIS SHITTY CLASS AND EVEN BEFORE NOW, NEPETA SAYS HE NEVER CAME BACK FROM THE COMMUNAL TABLEBLOCK.  
GG: Do you mean cafeteria?  
CG: THAT’S WHAT I SAID.  
CG: IF HE WASN’T FEELING WELL HE SHOULD HAVE JUST TOLD JOHN OR ME AND NOT FUCKED OFF LIKE THIS. I GET IT. HE’S UNDER A LOT OF PRESSURE WITH THE JANE THING. WE ALL UNDERSTAND.  
GG: I could look for him if you’d like.  
CG: OH MY BULDGEFISTED FUCK JADE! IF YOU COULD LOOK FOR HIM THIS ENTIRE TIME WHY ARE WE EVEN HAVING THIS MEMO?  
GG: I’d have to use my goggles for it and I don’t think I could get away with equipping them without the rest of the class noticing.  
CG: I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M HEARING THIS. DOES THE SCRAWNY SCHOOLFEEDER INTIMIDATE YOU THAT BADLY? YOU’RE A FUCKING GODTIER.  
CG: IS THERE A REASON YOU’RE ALL SO SCARED SHITLESS OF THESE SCHOOLFEEDERS? IS THERE SOMETHING I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND ABOUT THEM? IF YOU FAIL THE CLASS DO THEY GET TO CULL YOU? WILL DRONES APPEAR IN THE SKY? NO? THEN WHY THE FUCK DO YOU CARE?

It was time for him to butt in. Dave responded to the memo board. 

TG: yes karkat  
TG: high school teachers are the most vicious of us all and every sensible human fears their might  
TG: theyre on the front lines against the never ending battle of human stupidity. we all tremble before them lest they pull out their secret trump card and call home to our parents to tell them what naughty kids weve been.  
CG: GLAD THAT YOU COULD FINALLY JOIN US DAVE. THIS IS YOUR MEMO THAT YOU STARTED IN CASE YOU FORGOT ABOUT US.  
TG: sorry i had a lot of other people busting my ass  
CG: ABOUT WHAT? THE SOLLUX THING?  
TG: no about us being a couple now  
GG: Gasp!  
GG: it’s true?! Yay !!!!!  
GG: Omg I’m so happy for you!  
GG: Congratulations!!! Wait, does this mean that John’s the only one of us humans not in a relationship with a troll?  
TG: wait hold the fuck up who are you in a relationship with?  
GG: Karkat silly!  
GG: I’m in his ashen quadrant  
TG: wait isn’t that for the hate thing?  
CG: FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK CAN WE DO THIS LATER? YES JADE IS MY AUSPITICE. THIS IS NOT A NEW THING, DAVE.  
TG: then who are you in spades with then? im pretty sure i would have noticed anyone pitch flirting with you.  
CG: HAHA LOOK AT THAT. IT’S TIME TO CHANGE THE FUCKING SUBJECT.  
GG: don’t be shy karkat. Dave deserves to know.  
GG: Its him! It’s his past/future self.  
CG: OH MY FUCKING GOG SHUT UP!  
GG: Even though it doesn’t really mean anything now :(  
GG: I think I’m his quadrantmate only because he won’t admit that friendship exists.  
TG: that’s fucking amazing  
CG: I AM GOING TO STRANGLE BOTH OF YOU DIPSHITS AND THEN MYSELF IF WE DON’T GET OFF THIS STUPID INCORRECT TANGENT IN THE NEXT THREE SECONDS. 

twinArmageddons (TA) has entered the memo!

TA: fuckiing hell can you cool iit the fuck down i’im fuckiing fiine.  
TA: what you can’t get off my bulge for two miinute2 before mii22iing me that fuckiing badly?  
TA: wait what the fre2h hell ii2 goiing on iin thii2 memo holy 2hiit  
TA: thii2 ii2 fuckiing fanta2tic.  
TA: kk ii2 thii2 for real? Ahahahahahaha oh you’re kiilliing me dude what the FUCK  
CG: YOU MOTHERFUCKER. HOW THE HELL DID YOU EVEN GET INTO THIS MEMO? NO ONE INVITED YOU.  
TA: thii2 whole chat cliient Trolliian/Pe2terchum clu2terfuck ii2 ju2t a game con2truct liike everythiing el2e. ii hacked iit. that’2 kind of what ii do.  
CG: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?  
CG: AND BEFORE YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT MENTIONING THIS MEMO TO ANYONE JUST REMEMBER I KNOW WHERE YOU FUCKING SLEEP.  
TA: chiill kk ii don’t actually care about your colorful p2ychotiic neuro2e2 and agoniiziingly paiinful friiend2hiip hangup2.  
TA: ii’m not 2ure where ii am. 2omewhere iin thiis 2choolhiive 2tiill. ii had an iidea.  
TG: what kind of idea?  
GG: Are you in another broom closet?  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE AND STORAGE RECEPTICLES? WHY DO WE FEEL THE NEED TO HIDE IN THEM LIKE WRIGGLERS WITH OUR HANDS ON OUR GENETALIA AS WE IGNORE THE EXTREME FUCKING DANGER WE’RE ALL STILL CURRENTLY IN? IT’S LIKE THE METEOR CHESTS ALL OVER AGAIN.  
TA: 2hut up kk not now! ii’ve got my ma22iive piile of 2hit two deal with and ii cannot add your 2hiit two thii2 piile  
TA: no jade ii broke iintwo a computerblock.  
TG: oh sweet. vandalism.  
CG: SOLLUX!  
TA: you can 2cream at me later kk.  
TA: jade, how accurate are your goggle2 at pinpoiintiing exact locatiion2 relatiive two phy2iical dementiion2?  
GG: They’ve always been on the dot for me, and I can even see into separate parallel time loops with them if I search for Dave and he’s running around as several people.  
TG: jade its not several people its all me im one person its not that hard to get  
TA: what’2 the reach on them?  
GG: Mathematically? I can see until the edge of this reality stops as well as anywhere in the Inciphisphere and Medium and even the Furthest Ring. I can even see into what remains of your universe after we merged sessions.  
TA: we diidn’t merge 2e22iion2 the two co2miic iinstance2 combiined a2 the 2e22iions colliided.  
CG: THAT SOUNDS FUCKING DEPRESSING AS HELL. OUR UNIVERSE WAS SHATTERED INTO NON-EXISTENCE. IT’S JUST EMPTY SPACE AND ROCK DUST NOW.  
TA: anyway you can travel to all of these locatiion2 with your 2pace power2 riight?  
GG: Yes I can.  
TA: ok then ii can’t promii2e but ii thiink ii have a way two merge the 2e22iions.  
TG: holy shit  
CG: ITS ABOUT FUCKING TIME!  
GG: what karkat means to say is that he has been just as worried about Jane’s team as you and respects the effort you’ve put into this project, DON’T YOU KARKAT?!  
GG: -_-  
CG: YES FINE. ALRIGHT HARLEY. THAT IS WHAT I MEANT.  
CG: SOLLUX, DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU’VE FOUND A WAY?  
TA: ii’m pretty fuckiing 2ure. ii’ve got 2ome te2t2 to run before ii try anythiing but ii thiink ii’ve fuckiing got iit.  
TA: oh my gog iit feels like ii can breathe now.  
CG: YOU MORON. YOU’VE GOT TO STOP PUSHING YOURSELF SO HARD.  
TG: how soon can we start this testing?  
TA: a2 2oon a2 ii get back two the lab. Jade?  
GG: …  
TA: not cool jade don’t make me a2k ii’m really fuckiing tiired riight now.  
GG: You know I don’t feel comfortable jumping out in the middle of school.  
TA: you diid before ju2t fiine.  
GG: That was different. That was an emergency!  
GG: What if the teacher assigns homework and we miss it?  
TG: oh my god jade i dont give a fuck about homework and i never did itis a great lifestyle choice and i really think you should adopt the same outlook  
CG: AS A COLEADER I’M MAKING AN EXECUTIVE DECISION TO FUCK SCHOOLFEEDING AND SAVE THAT OTHER TEAM FROM TOTAL ANNIHILATION. I’LL SEND A MESSAGE OUT NOW TO GATHER US ALL TOGETHER AND JADE CAN WARP US OUT.  
GG: Ok fine let’s do it! Saving them is the most important thing!  
GG: I can’t wait to meet Jake and Roxy and the rest of them. I’m so excited!  
CG: OKAY EVERYONE LET’S NOT FREAK THE FUCK OUT ABOUT THIS. WE NEED OUR HEADS IN THE GAME.

carcinoGeneticist (CG) sent a group message to [All you fucker2]!

CG: ALRIGHT ALL YOU FUCKS, SOLLUX THINKS HE HAS A WAY TO MERGE SESSIONS. EVERYONE GET YOUR ASSES TO THE FRONT HALLTUNNEL AND PREPARE FOR JADE TO TAKE US BACK TO THE LAB. NO EXCEPTIONS ALLOWED! DON’T EVEN TRY RESPONDING TO THIS MEMO. JUST GET YOUR ASS OVER THERE AS FAST AS FUCKING POSSIBLE.  
ectoBiologist (EB)has responded to the memo!  
EB: oh really? That is so neat. So we should get them out of their null session soon?  
twinArmageddons (TA) has banned ectoBiologist (EB) from responding to the memo!  
CG: WHAT DID I JUST FUCKING SAY?!?  
CG: EXTRACTION IN FIVE EARTH MINUTES. DON’T BE FUCKING LATE.

carcinoGeneticist (CG) has closed group memo to [All you fucker2]!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a few funny moments in this that im very proud of even if 75% f this chapter is nothing but pesterlogs. The next few chapters should make up for it though.
> 
> This is probably the last chapter that I left mostly untouched, so the general quality should start to improve from here on out.
> 
> I actually consider this the start of the story, like, all the back info is in place, everyone knows whats going on, and they're finally together. It only took eight chapters. Wow... At least now we can dig into the meat of the story and see whats actually going on with this crazy plot


	9. Feelings party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new chapter new chapter new chapter!!!!!!

Chapter nine

“First,” Sollux said as he fell into his chair in front of the row of monitors, “I need to ask Roxy some questions.” His hands were shaking as he rapid-fire attacked the keyboard until the broken connection appeared on screen. “Hold on- I need a minute to establish a stable relay.”

“Do I even want to know how you’re doing this?” Karkat asked, frowning. His eyes burned holes through the screens as he read the lines of code that the yellowblood was plastering across the monitors. “This isn’t how computer code fucking works.”

“That’s why you were such a shitty coder,” Sollux responded without looking up.

“Fucking burn,” Dave whispered to the shorter troll, and Karkat scowled at him.

The numbers scrolling across the screen made no sense to Dave. The lines of red and blue wrapping around and over themselves and writhing under Sollux’s forceful hacking were lost to him, but he recognized the art of it enough to think that it was beautiful.

“Got it,” Sollux muttered as the screen flickered over into a basic, heavily watered-down version of Trollian. It looked like the familiar site if someone had gutted all it’s aneurysm-inducing flares and the neon color schemes that had been shittily coded into the original platform. The spare chat options kept switching from Alternian to English too fast for Dave to really tell the difference between them. It was a glitchy nightmare. 

twinArmaggens (TA) began Pestering tipsyGonastic (TG) at [time unknown]!

TA: roxy can you see thii2 are you there?  
TG: Sollux omgerd!  
TG: yes I’m still here. Its all gone to shit but not really? The game started and we’re all not dead yet or at least not anymore so lolz to us for staying not dead!  
TA: you’re iin the Mediium?  
TG: Yep seems like it. We all got separated tho  
TG: everyone got split up onto their own planet and we’re all still below the second gates.  
TG: things got really realllllllllly crazy intense and started to not make sense???? but its ok because diirk did something and everyone is mostly okay now  
TA: that’2 great. try not two diie. don’t worry about the gate2, iin fact iignore them completely they’re iirevalent and poiintle22 at thii2 poiint.  
TA: ju2t focus on 2urvival. 2tay where you are, make your hive iinto a fuckiing fortre22, and waiit for u2. ii think ii have a way two get you out.  
TG: That Condy’s been a bitch. She about near destroyed earth herself before the reckoning could while she was trying to kill dirky and me. Escaping to the medium saved our asses.theres no drones here.  
TG: It’s almost like a vacay except everything’s fucking dead.  
TG: I was looking forward to all our consorts and underlings : (  
TA: what?  
TG: yeah apparently that 400 yr gap killed them all off. The planets are riddled with tombs and skeletons and gravedust. Its too silent. I havn’t even seen any imps. Its just us.  
TA: that can’t be riight. they’re all fuckiing dead?  
TG: I know  
TG: knew really. But I hoped it wasn;t as bad as we thought.  
TA: that’2 ok. iit’2 le22 2tuff two worry about kiilliing you then. 2tay fuckiing put untiil ii can get you!  
TA: ii ju2t need two know a few thiing2.  
TG: glad to help.  
TG: Are you really an alien? That’s still so fuckin weird to me. the only troll we ever knew about was the empress  
TA: now ii2 not the tiime, but ye2. don;t worry we hate her a2 much a2 you do.  
TA: but focus please ii’m tryiing two yank your doomed a22e2 out of a doomed 2e22iion.  
TG: okay im ready ; )  
TA: the Va2t Glub ha2 happened already riight?  
TG: the vast whatnow?  
TA: the conde2cen2iion was alone? no other troll2 were ever wiith her from your per2pectiive?  
TG: o yeah they all died. For her it was about the time Jake and Jane entered the game 400 yrs ago. She spent that time fucking the planet over because of it until me and Dirk escaped. Sorry about your species dude. Kinds sucks. you seem nice.  
TA: my 2peciie2 a2 a whole i2 2hiit and iit2 better for everyone iinvolved that they’re not a problem anymore.  
TA: thii2 other player, 2he’2 iin your 2e22iion already?  
TG: yeppy. Callie’s adorable!!!!. Her session melted into ours after that timetraveling demon thing broke the edges of their reality. It’s splinters seeded themselves into our null session.  
TG: apparently null sessions are like that. Empty soil. They take in what others have. We can’t grow a new universe in our incipishpere cuz our seeds are fucking duds but its all still just dirt and soil  
TG: That’s why we need your battlefield and why her session seeded itself into ours.  
TA: 2o there’2 fiive of you that need out?  
TG: yes  
TA: and the empre22 wa2 on planet duriing the Reckoniing?  
TG: the hag was, but we all know she isn’t dead. She escaped on her flagship before everything got all explodey.  
TA: okay. ii think that’2 iit.  
TG: is there anything I need to do to help? Download a file or hack from my end? I can fuck shit up with the best of them  
TA: no. iif all goe2 accordiing to plan you won’t even know what’2 happeniing untiil you’re over on our 2iide. our 2pace player can warp you over a2 2oon a2 ii merge the 2e22iion2.  
TG: k.  
TG: if you can, save Dirk first. He’ll never admit it but I know he;s struggling on his planet. The air there is poison  
TA: 2ound2 fun. iis he a kniight or a priince?  
TG: why’d ya ask?  
TA: kniight2 and priince2 have planet2 that are out two get them. iit2 just more gamiing bull2hiit 2kia throws at them. iit’2 probably a mechaniic to make them 2tronger iin the long run but iin actualiity ju2t fuck2 them over even more.  
TG: hes a prince.  
TA: goddammiit why can’t thiing2 be fuckiing 2iimple for once?  
TA: ii’ll try to get two hiim fiirst for you. no promiises though- thii2 ii2 goiing two be hard enough a2 iit ii2.  
TG: thanks  
TA: ii’ll contact you agaiin once ii know iit work2. giive me a few more day2. the wor2e of the danger ha2 pa22ed from your end. iit won’t be untiil a week or 2o that der2e agent2 really try two do you iin them2elve2.  
TG: maybe? I think dirk pissed them off pretty good tho. They’ve already killed jakey’s dreamself and dirk targeted them for it on derse before we escaped  
TA: holy 2hiit can you not piick fight2 wiith the hostile natiives? iif you diie that’2 fuckiing iit ok?  
TA: you diie and iit’s over. ii can’t fix that. ju2t focu2 on alchemiiziing a2 much u2eful 2hiit a2 you can.  
TG: aww thanks for being so worried. Its cute  
TG: we’ll be careful Sollux geez  
TA: ju2t. don’t. fuckiing. diie.  
TA: ii've had enough of people dyiing  
TG: will do  
TG: im sorry I can't make this easier for you  
TG: ; )

The screen went dark. Dave blinked at the blank screen until the imprint the words left on his eyelids faded. The room was silent. Somewhere in the depths of the lab something was groaning as metal and rock shifted. 

“Dersite agents shouldn’t be active so soon into the game,” Rose tittered, incredulous. “Killing a player’s dreamself before entering isn’t allowed. They’re breaking the rules.”

John nodded along with her, his blue eyes grave for once. “Their entire session is atypical and screwed. Normal rules do not apply I guess. Things are already changing.”

Sollux was already moving. Smoke was seeping from one of the computer vents and he wrenched the cover off with psionics and tore out a handful of fried wires. “Fuck,” he swore, “I knew this piece of shit would overheat.”

The psionic ripped the rest of the damaged wires out and looked at the melted mess. The hardware was smoking, belching a foul stream of acrid ruin. His shoulders slumped. “I have so much to do,” he said. “We’re running out of time.”

Karkat stepped forward and put his hand on Sollux’s shoulder, speaking gently. “You should take a break first,” he said, nudging the unmoving troll. “I know you haven’t been sleeping and you’re no use to any of us dragging your dry overworked corpse around like one of the sunstruck daywalkers.”

Sparks flashed off the sharp ends of Sollux’s horns, and the hair on Dave’s arms stood at attention from the sudden burst of electricity in the air.

“Fuck off, hippocrit,” Sollux growled, shaking free of Karkat. “I’ll rest later, is that fine with you, our great terrible leader? Are you finished critiquing my fucking person yet or what, because I’m not interested.” He ground the palms of his hands into his eyes, knocking the red-and-blue glasses askew. “Is there anyone else with something to say?”

Feferi stepped forward in a swish of skirts. “Sollux?” she said slowly, and the other troll groaned.

“What is it?” He asked tiredly. “Did I do something to piss you off too, Fef?”

“Maybe you have more time than you think,” the heiress said, slow and uncertain. “I don’t think that the Empress will travelling full speed once we merge the sessions. You know her flagship won’t be operating at it’s highest capacity.” Sollux startled like he’d blown a circuit, his eyes flying wide open as Feferi continued. “This should buy us time before she reaches Earth to prepare.”

Red and blue crackled around the psionic. “Fef,” he warned, a low growl in his voice. “Don’t.”

Dave reacted to the danger in the air by stepping closer to Karkat. The psionic growled again, directionless sparks flickering off his fingers as he jerkily twitched away from the tyrianblood.

“I’m so sorry, Sollux,” Feferi pleaded, “But you know that.”

“I don’t care.” Sollux hissed, the sound oddly flat. He sounded so defeated. “I know he’s not savable, Fef. Goddammit, he’s been nothing but a fucking battery for hundreds of sweeps- I fucking know.”

Dave felt Karkat tense at his side, his spine stiffening. “Shit,” Karkat whispered, the sound only loud enough for Dave to hear. It was the first time the troll had ever whispered something to him or whispered in general, and Dave knew that meant this was fucking serious. What the hell did they know that he didn’t?

Sollux spoke again, his voice clipped and decisive. “I will kill him myself and I’ll tear through anyone who gets in my way.” Sollux snarled, baring fangs as the lights above them flickered. 

“Sollux,” Karkat started, stepping forward, brow crinkled with concern. “Really-”

“Do not fight me on this kk,” Sollux said, and he let his head fall into his hands, his fight gone. “I know.” The other troll suddenly looked so tired. Bone tired. Worn out and weary in the way of someone stretched so thin than everything started to unwind like an overtaxed rubber band, ready to snap. “If I can’t save him, the least I can do is let him fucking die.”

Dave suddenly understood nothing. It wasn’t a common feeling and his skin crawled. At least he wasn’t the only one who looked clueless. John and Jade were sharing baffled glances and Eridan looked like he’d found catshit in his shoe. Gamzee was staring at a wall. Feferi looked guilty and Rose looked sad enough that Dave knew she understood what was being said. 

“I understand,” Karkat said, stepping back, giving Sollux the space he needed. He didn’t seem so angry now, just sad. “No one’s going to take that right from you.”

“But that doesn’t mean we can’t help,” Aradia said, appearing out of nowhere in particular. The troll girl was like that, lurking, waiting patiently in a silent and watchful way that secretly freaked Dave out just a little. Aradia gently put her hands on both of Sollux’s shoulders and steered him over to a chair and started scolding him. “When was the last time you slept?” She asked, and Sollux didn’t resist being manhandled into a corner by her. Sollux was a cagey bastard but at least he listened to Aradia.

“Don’t know,” Sollux said, and he collapsed into the chair and immediately went limp. “Wake me if something else goes wrong.”  
...

 

The night was too young for Dave to consider sleeping. He was still on edge from the conversation with Roxy earlier and it felt like live wires were hissing under his skin. The knowledge that there was an important, vital task that was directly correlated to the survival of the other team that he absolutely could not help with was a dreadful one. Dave knew more about computers than John or Rose, but that just meant he knew two-nill above jack shit. Making shitty music wasn’t on par with the coding skills this task required, and the truth was Dave wasn’t a hacker. This was a problem only Sollux could even consider approaching with serious intent- if Dave tried to help the yellowblood would fry him for getting in the way. 

But at the same time he couldn’t force himself to do nothing, so he wandered the lab halls like he’d done when the meteor had been in space. For Dave, sleep was an elusive concept that was best pondered over, carefully, while upright and walking. 

This time he was careful to avoid the deeper parts of the lab, lest he run into a certain clown again. He might have felt better about Gamzee’s general presence after their confrontation, but he thought it was a feeling best encouraged through a respectable degree of distance. It was late enough at night that he thought he’d be alone, even when exploring the most high-traffic areas.

There were footsteps coming from around the next bend. It could conceivably have been a number of people, but Dave knew it was Karkat before he turned the corner and saw the troll doing exactly what he was doing- working off pent-up energy through aimless wandering. No one else on the meteor stomped their feet so hard while walking. 

“Can’t sleep?” Dave asked.

Karkat blinked at him. The expected scowl never appeared as Karkat sighed and crossed his arms. The ever-present bags under the troll’s eyes looked darker than before, inked beneath the skin like bruises. For all that Karkat acted like the last attack hadn’t had a lasting effect on him, Dave could read the places where it lingered.

“I was actually looking for you,” Karkat admitted, his hands hidden by the sleeves of his thick sweater. “I checked your block but you weren’t there.”

“You were looking for me?” Dave perked up, something warm settling in his chest at the thought that Karkat had checked up on him, and had gone looking for him. 

Karkat continued like he hadn’t answered. “Do you always wander off like this? Seriously, I thought Gamzee was bad enough with his constant stalking around and now I find you doing this same shit.”

“I don’t normally chill in empty hallways,” Dave said lightly, fighting back an incongruous smile. “Why where you looking for me?” He asked curiously. 

Now Karkat scowled at him, fidgeting in his too-large clothes as Dave waited for him to respond. “I couldn’t sleep either,” Karkat said at last. “I thought we could watch a movie together.”

Dave had never said that he couldn’t sleep, but the realization was buried under the wave of affection that filled him. “Sure,” he said, his voice unruly with an unreasonable excitement. “That sounds great.”

Karkat smiled, relieved, like he’d been uncertain of Dave’s reaction. “Really?”

“Yes, really,” Dave said. “Is that weird?”

“No!” Karkat said quickly, blushing. “It’s not weird, don’t make it weird, Dave.”

“I’m not making anything weird,” Dave said, smiling as he watched Karkat’s face light up. “Where is this movie watching shindig happening?”

“I was thinking about using the communal livingblock,” Karkat said, “If that’s okay with you?”

“That sounds fantastic,” Dave said, and was rewarded with another smile from the troll.

They’d watched dozens of movies together before. There had been little else to do on the meteor to pass the time, and watching one of the troll’s horrible movies had been the key to unlock genuine friendship. It had been remarkable easy to befriend the troll, before Dave had realized that he wanted more from Karkat and the troll had his first major attack, so, back when things had been easier between them. Becoming Karkat’s friend was as easy as treating him like an actual person and not treating him like shit, a realization that made an uneasy feeling curl up in Dave’s chest. 

The uneasy feeling persisted as Karkat chose one of his movies and popped it in the monitor.

“Which one is this?” Dave asked, partly out of curiously, partly because this dialogue was common-place between them.

“In which a bronzeblood covets the affections of her blueblooded superior, being already secretly in spades with her moirail, and so comes to realize her true intentions are not red at all, but rather-” Karkat continued with his long-winded movie title, which Dave still thought was pretty stupid. The movie itself wasn’t important. Dave didn’t care less what it was about.

“How long do you think we have until Sollux recovers from his crash?” Dave asked curiously as Karkat fiddled with the monitor. 

“Do I look like I know how long it’ll take that overworked idiot to sleep off the results of his poor decision making?” Karkat said. “We’ll be lucky if Aradia can keep his ass dead to the world for longer than a few hours.”

“I’m guessing that we have 14 hours until he’s back to full operational capacity then,” Dave said offhandedly, already counting the seconds between now and then. 

Karkat let out a bark of laughter. “Here’s where I know something you don’t,” he said smugly. “I know exactly when he’ll wake up.”

“Are you willing to make a bet on it?” Dave asked, perking up. “Because my money is on Aradia keeping him down and out for at least a full twelve hours, and that’s with no time shenanigans involved.”

Karkat flicked on the screen and a warm glow filled the room as the credits began to roll. Stupid Alternian films. The pretentious bastards wouldn’t let the movie start until after they’d listed every single troll who worked on the film and then there was this whole spiel about praising the HIC that was just downright distasteful.

In any case it gave Karkat the time to finish adjusting the controls and answer him unrushed. “This isn’t about Aradia,” he said. “It’s fucking Sollux, remember? He counts his doubles even when unconscious. I’ll bet that he’s out for exactly 22 fucking hours.”

“Oh my god you can’t be serious,” Dave said, smiling. “That is a level of insanity that I didn’t think he was capable of.”

“I’ve seen him do worse,” Karkat said, muting the monitor in time to avoid the “ALL PRAISE BE UNTO THE RESPLENDANCE HER IMPERIOUS CONDECENSION FOR ALLOWING THE DRAFTING, PRODUCTION, CREATION, DISTROBUTION, AND SHOWING OF THIS FILM, WHICH HAS BEEN REVEIWED BY THE COURTS AND DEEMED A LEGAL MOVIE THAT FOLLOWES ALL GUIDELINES AND RESTRICTIONS SET FORTH BY THE EMPRESS AND HER TEAM OF LOYAL ENTERTAINMENACERS. LONG LIVE THE HIC!”

Karkat rolled his eyes at the familiar brainwashing and settled in beside Dave, his rapt eyes focused on the screen as the Alternian flick began. Just as Dave had initially suspected, it was another romcom, which was great because Karkat loved those movies and the plots were vapid and predictable enough that Dave could spend all of his attention watching Karkat react to the movie. 

Karkat really got into his movies. The troll was normally expressive and he raged and pouted and mourned along with the characters onscreen in this foreign way, completely uncaring to who might be watching. It was one of the reasons Dave couldn’t stop watching him, fuck whatever the movie was going on about- this was what he wanted to watch. Karkat, completely open and uncaring, all of his worries and burdens washed away in the aftermath of shitty troll actors and shallow plot drama. 

Karkat was so enraptured with the flick onscreen that the troll didn’t seem to notice that with every loud exclamation and flailing limb, he edged closer to Dave. 

Dave noticed. He sure as hell noticed, but did Karkat? Did the troll know what he was doing? Was Dave overreacting and overanalyzing a trivial thing? 

Shit, Karkat’s leg was still two inches away and Dave was already overreacting. This wasn’t a big deal, they’d fucking kissed last night, and the expectation of more physical contact kind of came within the realm of being “together” or whatever the fuck they were. 

The knowledge didn’t make things easier for Dave. With every micro-inch closer the troll crept, he grew more tense. 

It took a few more minutes and a supposedly unexpected on-screen character death, which Dave did not look at because holy shit that was a lot of blood what the fuck kind of romcom was this, and suddenly Karkat’s leg was touching him, full-on contact from thigh to knee. 

He froze, slightly nauseous, and Karkat must have fucking noticed because he went still as well.

“Are you alright?” Karkat asked softly, concerned. He glanced from Dave to the screen and winced. “Shit fuck, sorry. I didn’t know that scene would be in here, are you okay, Dave? Dave?”

Karkat still hadn’t moved away, and Dave’s mind was slowly clearing as he struggled to remind himself that nothing bad was going to happen. Every second that went by made the snakes twisting through his guts calm down and unwind, but having Karkat’s full focus directed on him made it stand out even more. This was… _conflicting._

“It’s fine,” Dave forced out, slightly breathless and hating himself for it. Goddammit, where had his chill gone? His heart was pounding. 

Karkat skipped forward in the movie, past the teal blood that gleamed from the slit throat of… yeah, Karkat may have been wrong about what was bothering him but shit that blood was Not Helping. Dave swallowed past the phantom ache in his own throat, tight with the memory of what his blood tasted like, and no. He was not going to go there. The past stayed in the past, right where it fucking belonged. 

Karkat switched the movie off and the room flashed brighter from the fuzz of the static that filled the screen. “I’m sorry,” Karkat apologized. 

“It’s, its fine,” Dave said again. “Jegus, Karkat, I’m fine. It wasn’t even the blood.”

“Then what happened?” Karkat asked, and Dave’s stomach plummeted. “I thought we were having fun.”

“We were, are, I guess,” Dave stuttered. “It’s nothing, Karkat.”

The troll paused, unwilling to push when this new relationship still fragile between them. Karkat made to turn away, and he realized all at once how close he’d gotten and scooted quickly away. It was like watching a porcupine jump back and bristle, spines out and at the ready. He didn’t stop until there was over a foot of empty space between them.

It was fast enough that Dave didn’t try to stop him, and the cold feeling was back and magnified without Karkat’s warmth radiating at his side. Dave’s head may have felt clearer but this distance was still wrong. He didn’t want Karkat to move away, but it did make things instantly easier. What the fuck was wrong with him?

Karkat lowered his eyes and turned away, angry, confused, and hurt but trying not to show it as he crossed his arms and let his sweater swallow him.

Shit. Fuck fuck shit FUCK. Why was this so fucking hard? Dave knew that he was tense, he could feel the strain in his back and shoulders even though absolutely nothing was wrong, but he couldn’t make it stop happening. 

“It’s me, isn’t it?” Karkat asked, and the worst part about it was the troll didn’t even sound bitter. He just sounded resigned. “You don’t have to force yourself to spend time with me. Everyone else gave up on me too, what the fuck are you even trying to prove?” He said, huddled up in a way that made him seem smaller as he simmered in a blatant unhappiness that was all Dave’s fault. 

“It’s not you,” Dave said, aware that he was on thin fucking ice.

Karkat hissed, his eyes flashing. “Don’t you fucking dare,” he said, growling as he spit out the rest of his words, aiming them like daggers at where Dave sat pinned to the sofa. “It’s not you, it’s me, well the joke is on you, Strider. Har fucking har I’ve seen this play out a hundred fucking times! It hasn’t even been a full 24 hours yet, but hey I guess that’s a new record for the ‘how fast can Karkat ruin everything’ tally.” He continued sarcastically, beating himself up even further. “I should have been expecting this, honestly I’m not sure why I even thought this would be possible.” Then, softer, completely void of emotion, “I don’t know why I was deluded enough to think that I was worth something to you.”

Dave could see his claws digging into the arm of the couch. The troll’s voice was shaking, hoarse and full of a self-directed hatred. 

“It’s not me either,” Dave said slowly, struggling to say the words when he was still trying to understand them as the truth. He didn’t know how to explain that it wasn’t either of them or anything that Karkat had done.

How could Dave tell Karkat that there was this third person sitting between them on the sofa, filling up every inch of the empty space between them and poisoning everything with his shadow presence when it was something that Dave barely understood himself?

“WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!?” Karkat yelled, his voice loud and close, a percussive strike that made Dave flinch back from the sudden noise. “If you could just tell me what’s-” Karkat broke off, his narrowed eyes widening as he realized what had happened. 

This was too much. Dave couldn’t tell him, not now, not like this. A lifetime of Not Telling choked him into silence. He’d flinched- he’d fucking flinched. He’d broke the number one rule right off the bat. “I’m sorry,” Dave said, apolgizing for he didn’t even know what, thoroughly rattled in a way he hadn’t been in fucking years. What the hell was going on? His throat felt tight and painful, his lungs constricted. “I… I should go.”

“Dave, wait,” Karkat said, softer now. He didn’t move, not even his hands, like he was aware of how Dave had instinctively reacted and was taking care not to repeat his actions. “You don’t have to tell me anything. You don’t have to say anything or explain anything. Just… just tell me what I can do to make it better.”

The sound of static filled his ears. The gray and white TV screen buzzed at the edges of Dave’s perception. Karkat’s words sounded like they were filtered through a mile of thick water.

He should leave. Dave couldn’t be here, couldn’t be seen having some kind of fucking fit because he couldn’t make his own head shut the fuck up about things that were in the fucking past and shouldn’t have the power to affect him like this anymore. His eyes flickered to the door. It would be so easy to run.

_Coward._

“Just give me a minute,” Dave gasped out, resolved to stay put as the echo of his Bro’s voice whispered at him. It was harder than it looked but easier than he’d thought it would be to breathe in and breathe out until his heartbeat stopped running a marathon through his vascular system. Having Karkat there helped. The troll had already seen the flinch, anything after that didn’t matter. His cover was already blown to pieces. 

And he didn’t want to be alone. Karkat just sat at the other end of the couch, endlessly patient, as Dave gathered his awareness around himself again. 

_One two three four five six._ Dave counted the seconds to ten, then started over again on his next breath. _Seven eight nine ten. Exhale. One two three…_

Everything came back into focus. His heart wasn’t pounding and he didn’t feel like he was about to throw up. Slowly, each individual second crawling by in an ever-shrinking amount of half-seconds, things got better.

“I’m okay,” Dave said, blinking rapidly beneath the safety of his shades. “I think I’m okay now.”

Karkat nodded, uncertain and wary. “Are you sure?”

“Probably,” Dave admitted. “For now, at least.” He kept it short, not volunteering anything. 

“Alright…” Karkat trailed off. He didn’t push it. The TV still was spitting static from where Karkat had prematurely ended the romcom.

It was too silent. “You can start your show again,” Dave offered, prompting the troll. “It’s okay.”

The promise of a return to normalcy was what they both needed. Karkat started the movie again, and Dave went back to successfully tuning it out. This time he could feel that Karkat wasn’t paying attention either. He could feel the troll watching him and not the screen. 

The movie ended. The HIC’s spiel ran a second time and then the screen went dark. It was hard to feel safe when he couldn’t see more than a foot in front of his face, especially when he knew that Karkat could see in the dark. He could feel the troll watching him like an itch under his skin. 

“I’ll get the lights,” Karkat said.

Dave could feel the couch shift as the troll stood up and he couldn’t help the bolt of fear that slid through him as the fabric below him shifted with the weight of another person. Don’t run don’t run just breathe. He heard every loud step Karkat took as he crossed the room the switch. The lights flickered on and Dave instantly felt better, felt safer.

Karkat made his way back to the sofa and sat down, leaning against the opposite arm from Dave. Neither of them said anything for a long moment.

Karkat was the one to break the silence. “You said it wasn’t the blood,” he said, evaluating how Dave didn’t move from his still-tense stance.

“Yeah,” Dave said, carefully, testing how far he could go with the truth until it became unbearable. 

“And you said it wasn’t me,” Karkat asked.

“It wasn’t,” Dave said, a bit more vehemently than he meant to. 

Karkat blinked. “You said it wasn’t you either.”

The unspoken question burned between them, because the blame had to fall on someone. Dave’s careful wording didn’t leave him a way out without outright lying, which he didn’t want to do either. Jesus this was so fucking hard!

A tentative thought struck him, just strong enough to make his consider it for longer than a half-second. Could… could he just tell Karkat? Would it really be that bad if the troll knew? If Rose knew? Would that make it easier? Dave’s scars ached. His eyes were too dry and they itched and burned in equal measure. 

Dave couldn’t erase the memory that unfolded unbidden in his mind.

_His ribs were screaming, bruises blossoming like inkstains beneath his pale skin as his Bro wormed his fingers into Dave’s mouth, clawing at his tongue, drawing blood. Dave was hooked like a fish, like a fucking fish, and he couldn’t do anything to free himself as Bro snatched him painfully upright. His shitty piece of shit sword was a useless two feet away and Dave was unarmed and defenseless and fucking terrified. The sun was scorching hot on his back and he had grit from the rooftop ground into his cheek as he struggled. He didn’t dare bite the fingers that pressed harshly at the floor of his mouth. A familiar, bitter taste on them made him gag and squeeze his eyes shut until Bro hit him hard enough that stars ignited under his closed lids._

_“If you ever tell anyone about this,” Bro threatened, “I’ll fuckin kill you.”_

No. Nonononono. No, not all of it. Not everything. His heart was pounding again, loud enough that he was sure the troll could hear it. His hands were shaking as he forced the memory away. It was so real even after three and a half years. He could still feel the grit and sand and heat and a pain that made him gasp. His bad rib on his left side gave a sharp pang, digging into his side from where it’d healed crooked.

“Dave?” Karkat asked, concerned as Dave realized he’d been staring at nothing for forty three seconds. 

Dave shook himself back to the present moment, but the shaking didn’t stop so he made his hands into fists and hid them out of sight. “I’m fine,” he said, rambling. “I said I’m fine. All three of those were correct statements. That’s like, an A plus, gold star type of shit. Three for three.” It sounded forced. The words wouldn’t come to him and he had to press his lips together to make himself stop before he said something he’d regret. 

Karkat squinted at him, peering intently at his face. There was an extremely short list of people that the troll could conceivably try to pin the blame on, but just to make sure Karkat’s mind didn’t wander down the wrong path Dave decided to throw him the smallest of bones. Like, a metacarpal. Phalange even- a stupid useless finger bone. A bone so small that even a starving street dog wouldn’t notice it.

“You know… You know how I always raved about how awesome and cool my older Bro was?” Dave said, striving to reclaim his coolkid mask. He made a show of leaning back into the couch, the perfect picture of ease if his shoulders weren’t shaking. “Like he was the most awesome guy to ever fucking live?”

“I do,” Karkat said slowly, suspicious. 

Dave let out a breathless laugh that sounded slightly choked. “Maybe… maybe he wasn’t that awesome of a person?” He framed it as a question, like the answer wasn’t something that he was completely sure of.  
Karkat didn’t react. He just stared with blank yellow and gray eyes.

“Maybe he was actually really, really shitty,” Dave said tonelessly, trying to make Karkat understand without saying it out loud. _Please don’t make him say it out loud._ He couldn’t even think the words that started with A or S or B. Saying them out loud was like inviting them back into his life to fuck everything to hell again, so he had to speak around the actual answer and hope Karkat had enough of the pieces to see what he was trying to get at. “Maybe he did some pretty fucked up things.”

Karkat’s face cracked. His lip was lifted in a silent snarl that he fought to hide as he bit his lip. His claws dug into the arm of the red sofa, carving long furrows deep into the fabric that Kanaya would probably flip her shit over. 

Dave had seen the troll mad before. He thought he’d seen Karkat flip shit before, but this was different. The troll was furious, his sudden rage was like stepping into a shallow pool only inches deep to end up flailing in a seething ocean. Before Dave could so much as breathe it was gone, swallowed under a wave of understanding. 

“Dave?” Karkat asked. 

He couldn’t answer. He’d already said too much and his throat felt like it was closing up, cinched tight around a knot of pain he had to swallow past to breathe. 

“Wait, let me try something,” Karkat, and there was a glow and flash of light as the troll whipped his husktop out of his sylladex and started typing away.

Dave nearly asked what the fuck was he doing before he saw the gray text flash across his shades. 

carcinoGeneticist (CG) began  turntechGodhead (TG) at 3:11am!

CG: IS THIS BETTER?  
TG: karkat we are literally sitting right next to each other  
TG: we are two feet away and here we are pestering each other at ass o’clock in the morning  
TG: this might just be the stupidest thing we’ve ever done and lets face it weve both done some real stupid shit before  
CG: DO YOU WANT ME TO STOP?

Dave paused and looked from the text across his shades to the troll at the other end of the couch. Karkat had his hustop balanced across his knees, angled so that he could alternate from looking at the screen to checking on him that Dave could tell the other Knight was trying to hide. The room was too quiet and Dave had nothing else to do but see where this led, because he didn’t think he could handle talking out loud and somehow Karkat knew that.

TG: no  
CG: DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY ANYTHING?  
TG: no  
CG: I THINK I’M GOING TO ANYWAY DAVE.  
TG: pls dont  
CG: JUST SHUT UP FOR A SECOND. I WANT TO APOLOGIZE.  
TG: what  
CG: FOR ACTING LIKE A COMPLETE JACKASS WITH A STICK LODGED SO FIRMLY UP MY OWN ASS THAT I IGNORED EVERYTHING THAT WAS HAPPENING RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME FOR SO FUCKING LONG BECAUSE I WAS A SELF-ABSORBED IDIOT.  
TG: what the hell are you apologizing for?  
TG: im the one who lost my utter shit over absolutely nothing for the second time now because i am the self-absorbed asshole. it is me, not you  
CG: THAT MAKES NO SENSE.  
TG: are you trying to tell me i dont have a stick up my ass?  
CG: ARE YOU TRYING TO DISTRACT ME BECAUSE IT’S NOT GOING TO WORK. DAVE, WE NEED TO TALK.  
TG: idk man if you really find my presence that distracting i totally understand because i am spectacular and bitches be tripping over me left and right but maybe we don’t need to have this conversation or any conversation pertaining to what just happened ever  
TG: let it go  
CG: NO. NOT THIS TIME. I LET YOU SHUT ME OUT ONCE, REMEMBER? DO YOU RECALL HOW TERRIBLY THAT FIASCO ENDED AND HOW MUCH WE HURT EACH OTHER SIMPLY BY REFUSING TO ADMIT THERE WAS A PROBLEM UNTIL THE FESTERING RUIN OF OUR RELATIONSHIP THAT WAS BUILT ON THE ROTTING FOUNDATIONS OF OUR OWN MISCOMMUNICATION BROUGHT EVERYTHING CRASHING DOWN AROUND US BECAUSE I DO AND I’M NOT GOING TO LET YOU DO THAT AGAIN! DAMN YOU STRIDER!  
CG: IT’S NOT FAIR TO ME OR YOU AND FRANKLY I THINK WE’RE BOTH AT FAULT FOR WHAT WE DID TO EACH OTHER BECAUSE WE ARE BOTH OBNOXIOUS SELF-ABSORBED ASSHOLES. WE BOTH COULD HAVE STOPPED IT AND WE DIDN’T.  
CG: I’M NOT GOING TO JUST SIT HERE AND LET IT ALL FALL APART AGAIN, SO FUCK YOU AND FUCK THAT. YOU CAN’T JUST, JUST FUCKING DROP SOMETHING LIKE THIS ON ME AND THEN TRY TO ACT LIKE IT DIDN’T FUCKING HAPPEN.  
CG: DID… DID HE…  
CG: DAVE.  
CG: IT’S OKAY TO FEEL THIS WAY. IT’S OKAY TO FEEL SHITTY AND ANGRY AND UPSET OVER WHATEVER SORRY LOT THE UNIVERSE DEALT YOU. JEGUS KNOWS THAT’S HOW I FEEL ALL THE FUCKING TIME! YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE AFRAID TO TELL ME THINGS OR LET ME KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.  
TG: im sorry ok???  
TG: i dont think i can say anything else tonight i just cant im toeing the uncrossable line of how far i can go before losing my absolute shit over stuff that happened in the past that doesnt even matter anymore  
CG: YOU CAN CRY. IT’S OKAY TO CRY.  
TG: no the fuck its not karkat what the hell?  
CG: I’VE SEEN YOU CRY BEFORE, REMEMBER?  
TG: well yeah but that was over three years ago on the day my bro fucking died so i should get a free pass on that one emotional and well-deserved public outburst  
CG: YOU,  
CG: ASDFGHJKUIGJSABJ.  
CG: AAHHHHHHHHHH DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!  
CG: I SWEAR ITS LIKE TALKING TO A BRICK WALL WITH YOU! ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO FEELINGS OR SOMETHING? AM I BEING UNREASONABLE IN WANTING TO OFFER SINCERE HELP OR AM I JUST FUCKING STUPID TO BELIEVE THAT I’D GET ANYTHING FROM YOU THAT ACTUALLY MEANT SOMETHING THAT WASN’T MORE RAMBLING BULLSHIT.  
CG: I THOUGHT WE’D BEEN OVER THIS ALREADY. DIDN’T WE CALL A TRUCE ON YOUR BULLSHIT LESS THAN 24 HOURS AGO?  
TG: yes ok we did and no im not allergic to feelings karkat that would be fucking stupid  
TG: i just got the shit beat out of me any time i so much as fucking smiled so give me a fucking break ok i am trying my absolute best and i know im failing miserably but this kind of fucking interrogation isnt going to help anything  
TG: so back the hell off  
CG: HE FUCKING BEAT YOU?!?! DAVE…

Dave could hear the exact instant the troll stopped typing, the near-constant click of claws against his keyboard gone silent. He could feel Karkat’s eyes boring into him and it was hard to ignore the urge to look at him, to bring his focus around to the troll and not the gray and red text across his shades that was growing increasingly harder to see as his eyes burned and his breathing shallowed. He’d said it- he’d admitted it and there was no taking it back. To ward off the coming storm Dave quickly responded via Pesterchum before Karkat could say anything out loud and force Dave to face the annihilation of the cover story he’d been clinging to for the last three years, at least for another few minutes. 

TG: no uhuh we are not going to do this  
TG: karkat please just stop i cant do it i cant do or say anything else about my bro i have reached my absolute limit and i just fucking cant  
TG: not tonight alright?  
TG: this isnt going to help either of us this is not the kind of shit thats easy to deal with. once you start poking at this shit it gains a mind of its own and drags you down into the pit with it and then youre just stuck in this unending shitpit forever all because you couldnt let well enough alone and do things like freak out during romcoms because hey guess what its shit all the way down  
TG: were you expecting it to be anything else?  
CG: FUCK THIS. THIS ISN’T WORKING.

carcinogeneticist (CG) has become an idle chum!

Dave blinked back his sudden misgivings as he reluctantly drug his eyes back to where Karkat was seated across from him, blinking back the traitorous wetness gathering on his eyelashes. Had he been too defensive? Was he trying too hard to try and force things to go back to normal? What did Karkat mean? Was this their first fight? Was that what was happening here? Were _they_ what wasn’t working?

And there was the fear, back like an old friend. 

Karkat’s face was never unreadable. The troll wore his heart on his sleeve and screamed out his every thought even while trying his hardest to remain calm and expressionless. The problem was he emoted with his entire body, and the blank expression he forced into his face didn’t cover up the fact that Dave could read the tension in his back or the way his shoulders were hunched together as his hands ripped more holes into the red sofa when they weren’t occupied with typing. 

“Okay,” Karkat said, rubbing at his eyes. His voice sounded hoarse, like he was struggling to remain calm and not yell for Dave’s sake. “Words aren’t working. I suck at words and so do you and words are not what we need right now. Dave…”

Dave didn’t react as the troll trailed off. He knew one thing thought. Karkat was right. The troll was totally right and Dave didn’t want to let things fall apart between them for a second time because he couldn’t get his shit together without inflicting hurt on everyone around him. 

“I just don’t want to hurt you,” Dave admitted. 

“You don’t want to hurt me?” Karkat said, incredulous. “I’m the one that’s fucking dying, and you’re worried about hurting me?”

“Exactly,” Dave said with a bit more force than intended. “You’re already going through so much. I don’t want to add my bullshit on top of yours. And just for the record you’re not fucking dying, Karkat. That kind of thinking is bullshit too and it’s not allowed.”

“If I agree with that statement, and I’m not saying I do, Karkat said, equally as stubborn. “That just means that we have to find some way to work this out otherwise we’ll end up hating each other when we run out other people to blame for our mistakes.”

“I don’t blame you,” Dave said immediately, not getting was Karkat was trying to say.

“And I don’t blame you either,” Karkat said, sighing. “But I blame myself and you blame yourself. Between us there’s a fuck ton of self-blame going around, and everything else wrong with me aside I can’t let you blame yourself for this.”

Dave kept quiet.

Karkat continued without stopping. “Whatever that motherfucker did to you, whatever happened back then- that’s not your fault. How it affects you now isn’t your fault either.”

“You idiot, I know that.” Dave said, sounding frustrated. “But knowing that and acting like I’m fucking normal are to separate things because apparently my brain fucking sucks at realizing that it doesn’t need to freak out due to minor things anymore because Bro’s been dead for over three years and that fact never gets easier to handle.”

“I understand,” Karkat said, looking down at the floor. “I know what it’s like to freak out over things that shouldn’t matter anymore.”

Dave didn’t answer. His throat felt too full, because yet again Karkat was right. At least between him and Bro it was something private, just the two of them. That was all Strider shit, things that stayed in the small, fucked up family the two of them made. With Karkat and the Hemospectrum, it was him vs. the entirety of the intergalactic Alternain Empire that wanted his head on a pike for the crime of daring to exist. 

“So what do we do now?” Dave asked quietly. “Now that you know both that the odds are solidly leaning in favor of the fact that I’m humongously fucked up and my Bro is the one who did it because he was a sadistic asshole?”

Karkat’s face crumpled a little at that, at the nonchalant way Dave mentioned his abuse.

“It was me earlier, wasn’t it?” Karkat asked, softly for him so that his voice was right at a normal speaking volume. “Not the blood. I got too close.” Karkat looked at the space between them, his face illuminated by his husktop screen so that his eyes glimmered in the half-light. 

“You didn’t know,” Dave said, equally as soft. 

“But I do now,” Karkat answered, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

Dave couldn’t take the idea of this distance between them becoming a permanent thing. He was trying to get better at people being close to him. Pushing Karkat away was the last thing he wanted.

“I’m… I’m trying to get better at it,” Dave spoke up, waving vaguely at the space between them. “It’s overwhelming sometimes, and unfamiliar, and I’m not always sure if I feel like it’s okay. I know it doesn’t make sense, but thirteen years is a long time to try and forget.”

Karkat swallowed thickly. Dave could hear the noise from across the couch. “Does anyone else know?”

“No,” Dave answered, letting out a short, breathless laugh. This was what Karkat was worried about? His secret? Well, this secret was easier to keep when only one person was left alive to hold it in. That cat was out of the bag now, and honsestly it felt… lighter. Like it wasn’t slowly strangling him. “I think Rose has her suspicions, but no. There’s no one else.”

Karkat also laughed at the incredulous risiclulessness of everything. Sightly crazy-sounding, but there was no other way to respond. Shit, it was funny, right? At the very least it was a near-lethal dose of situational irony.

The parallel wasn’t lost on the troll. “You managed to keep this a secret from everyone?” He asked, still laughing helplessly. “Fuck Dave, I couldn’t keep my blood a secret for longer than a perigree before Terezi sniffed it out and that was fucking life or death.”

“I guess,” Dave said, and suddenly Karkat wasn’t laughing anymore.

“Dave,” the troll said, tense and strained and slightly choked. The apmosphere of ridiculousness dropped so fast the ambiance hit rock bottom, real 3am in a Denny’s parking lot/ all-his-friends-are-fucked-up kind of vibes, the real helpless ones that Dave’s inner Knight wouldn’t let him stomach without feeling nauseous. “What can I do to help? I’m so sorry that I couldn’t, that you had to-” He was crying, red-tined tears slowly tracking trails down his gray face in a way that sent a bolt through Dave’s chest. 

“No, Karkat, wait. Don’t,” he asked, and his hands were trembling again. He wanted to badly to comfort the troll even as his skin jumped and twitched with the idea of reaching for him. “It’s okay. I’m okay now.” And goddammit if his own voice wasn’t too shakey and thin-sounding, but Dave wasn’t going to cry. Crying was Not Allowed. 

“But,” Karkat said, trying to gasp back in his tears as he wiped he evidence away with his sleeve, his face crumpled with sorrow and disgust at the red tint as he wiped them away. “There’s got to be something I can do to help.”

Dave sighed internally, calculating out the risks. Fuck it, there was nothing to lose from trying. 

“Just, come here,” Dave said, waving the troll closer. 

Karkat tilted his chin, his eyes flashing as he reluctantly slid his husttop back into his sylladex. It felt like there was an empty Oklahoma mile between them, barren winter cornfields as far as the eye could see. The pleated furrows of the fabdric kinda reminded Dave a bit of cornrows if he let his focus slide away from the couch to center in on Karkat’s face. 

“Is this okay?” Karkat asked, eyeing the foot and a half of sofa between them like it was a rank tarpit. 

“Yeah, I want to try something.” Dave said, also edging slightly closer to the center of the couch so that he wasn’t crowding the opposite sofa arm from the troll. 

Karkat scooted closer, his shoulders still tense. 

Dave ended up beside him, just like before. He could feel the warmth the troll was radiating; a small, burning neutron star wrapped in gray and black. Karkat held very still and let Dave get used to the sensation of having someone else in his personal space. 

It was better when it was invited, and wanted, not the suddenness of grabbing hands and tangled puppet-limbs. And this was Karkat, not Bro, and the two of them could never be confused even by Dave’s scatterpated mind. Bro was Karkat’s polar opposite, physically at least. They took up the air around them in completely different ways.

Karkat causiously reached for his hand and Dave twined their fingers together. He was breathing easier and he forced his shoulders to relax. This was Karkat- Karkat, who would never hurt him. 

Dave slowly let himself slump over, resting his head in Karkat’s warm shoulder in a way that Bro woud gleefully kill him over if he was a person that still existed. That was the point, wasn’t it? For Dave to accept that it was okay for him to want to get close to other people? That this, Karkat, was what he’d chosen for himself? The memory of Bro could go right on and fuck itself into oblivion. 

Dave stayed like that, warm and safe and secure, well into the early hours of morning when he caught Karkat struggling to blink himself awake. Tomorrow would be a big day and every second it crept closer and closer. This time, Dave would be ready for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Rest in fucking pieces Bro, Dave is full homo now.~~
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> *cries in characterization*


	10. the results of going nowhere good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter is up!
> 
> I normally don't like to tag things before chapters, but uhhhh..... after this chapter if you think its necessary just let me know.

Karkat was exactly right. Sollux drug himself out of the void of his well-earned unconsciousness exactly 22 hours after his collapse, and the troll immanently got back to work. Aradia had to drag him into the kitchen to try and force him to eat a full meal before he was allowed access back into the main hub of the lab.

Dave got the summons across his shades via memoboard once Aradia was satisfied that Sollux was rested and well-fed, and with his heart in his throat he ambled into the center of the lab to watch. 

Sollux was primed at the control center in the common room of the lab. His walls of monitors were buzzing with electricity and bees. Silicomb climbed up the walls and supported the computers in hexagonal patterns. Wires of red, blue, black, and green snaked across the floor in confusing patterns.

“Jade,” the yellowblood spit, his voice tripping around his fangs in a lisp as he rushed to complete his calculations. “I need the code off your space goggles.”

The Witch pulled the card out of her sylladex and turned it over, ears flicking. “98475TYD.”

“Thank god for alchemy,” John said. He was in his blue outfit and his hood was loose around his neck. The long windsock brushed against the floor as he floated around the room, observing everything with wide, eager eyes. “I’m so ready for this.”

Not everyone was present. There were only Sollux, Rose, John, Karkat, Vriska, and Aradia in the port room. Everyone else was down in a communal locker in case something went badly wrong and to cut back on distractions, as Sollux had requested. Hacking like this was fucking impossible, but Dave hoped that the yellowblood could pull a win for them. Karkat gave him a short, secret nod from Sollux’s side and Dave nearly smiled. 

Sollux keyed in the code and it appeared onscreen, then split itself into two iterations, then four, then eight, then sixteen, and so on until Dave couldn’t count them all. “Jade,” Sollux warned, “As soon as I break through, use the goggles. You’ll be able to feel it when I rip a hole through reality, but you’ll need the goggles to find them in the Medium. Locate them and immediately warp them back here like a fingerwing out of a hot place.”

Jade cracked her knuckles with a pop and bared her teeth in a smile as Dave nearly snorted at Sollux's adaptation of 'bat out of hell'. Jesus christ these trolls were going to kill him one day.

“I’ll get them,” Jade promised, green fire in her eyes. Her outfit switched seamlessly with her Godtier pajamas and she squared her red shoes on the floor of the lab, riflekind in hand as she considered a few other issues that might occur. “If I run into Jack out there in the wherever can I try to take him out?”

“Not right fucking now,” Sollux answered before either Karkat or John could voice their strong disapproval. “There are no potential fuck-ups allowed! This will be difficult enough as it is- so follow my fucking rules!”

“Hot damn,” Dave said, calmly ignoring them both. “You look fucking sick, Jade.” He shot her a thumbs up as she reluctantly put away her strife specibus. What a badass. 

Jade gave him a big smile, and behind her Rose stepped up. “I can see no obstacles barring our way if we attempt this carefully,” the Seer said, turning to the troll at her side. “Vriska?”

The other Light player stepped forward, her wings fluttering. Was Dave the only one not in pajamas yet? Fuck it, with a thought he was in red, a gear on his chest and the comforting weight of his cape at his back. The game was on.

“I’m giving this a great deal of my luck,” Vriska said, pinning her eight-fold vision on the hacker with threatening intent. “So do not fuck this up.”

Sollux didn’t answer aside from rolling his eyes, and on screen Roxy’s chumhandle was flashing rapidly. “Get ready,” Sollux said. Psionics coated him in red and blue light, crackling and electric, bright enough to glow even through Dave’s shades. He could feel his hair standing on end. The air was vibrating with power.

“According to my calculations, this probably shouldn’t kill me,” Sollux said, and the psionics, somehow, grew stronger. “Maybe. This is about to suck.” He slipped his bi-colored glasses off of his face and his eyes were burning, sparks flashing off his twin horns.

Alarm bells started ringing in Dave’s head. Shit. Shitshitshitshitshit. Karkat gave loud voice to his sudden qualms. He had a sudden, horrible idea about what Sollux meant.

“Wait, Sollux, whAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN?” Karkat yelled. “DYING? HOLD ON YOU FUCKER I’LL-”

“Too late!” Sollux yelled obstanantly . “Here I go!” He keyed one last command into the computer and the room exploded with light.

Dave flashstepped forward, his mind screaming with panic as he lunged at Sollux. There was a barrier of energy around the troll and he bounced off like he hit a brick wall. Dave’s skin felt scorched, as if he were standing too close to a bonfire. Sollux’s teeth were bared, his hands locked around the control panel as the psionic firestorm ripped through him. 

“Sollux!” Karkat yelled, snarling, sickles raised as he advanced on his friend. “You. Fucking-”

Sollux screamed and a burst of yellow splattered down the front of his shirt, red and blue popping. The blood gushed from his nose and out his eyes like a fountain. Error bars flashed across the screen right before it shorted out in an explosion of sparks. A siren began shrieking as all of the lights blew out with a crackling pop.

The lab was plunged into darkness, the only light flaring from the psionic locked in mental binary battle against the universe itself. He screamed again, more blood pouring from his nose and eyes as the sound rose to earsplitting and soul-tearing. It sounded like pure agony.

Dave drew his sword in vain. The electricity in the air jumped onto the blade and zapped his hand hard enough that he nearly dropped his sword as his fingers spasmed from the jolt.

Beside him, Jade gasped. Her eyes widened. “Oh!” She said, “I can feel it. It’s so big!” Her feet lifted off the floor, green fire burning around the edges of her dress. Her eyes were oddly magnified beneath the goggles and her hood was up. “I see them!”

“THEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR!” Karkat screamed at her, torn between yelling at her and trying to physically slice his way through the lightning storm that surrounded the other troll. Dave shook the lingering psionics off his blade and drove himself forward, gritting his teeth as he tried to pierce the energy barrier around the troll. 

Jade vanished, and with a stuttering pop of dying sparks the red/blue/white light died all at once. For a second Dave couldn’t see, then Rose illuminated the room with a handful of light that matched the symbol on her chest. All of the power in the air was gone- burnt out.

Karkat reached Sollux first and fell to his knees beside his friend, Dave and Rose a second behind him.

“Oh geez,” John said nervously. “Oh man. That looks bad.”

Sollux was limp, a bloody yellow puppet with its strings cut. Dave kicked the overturned chair out of the way and collapsed beside him, sword skidding to the side, his mind caught in a repetitive cycle of _whatthefuckwhattheFUCK._

Even amid the chaos he knew what he needed to do. “Where’s Feferi?” He demanded. “We need her. Now.”

“He’s not breathing,” Karkat said, his hands coated in the yellow that still dripped from Sollux’s face. “Oh fuck fuck fuckfuck FUUCCCCKKK!” Karkat snarled, tears in his eyes as he pounded inefficiently at the other troll’s chest to revive him. “You bastard.”

Dave slapped a hand across the broken troll’s chest as he gently moved Karkat’s hands away. Karkat didn’t know CPR and that one time he forced Karkat to watch _the Sandlot_ didn’t exactly count as a steller teaching example, but Dave had aced his public school health class and he could still feel the correct tempo pounding in his blood. He felt the faintest heartbeat under his fingers, too centered for a human heart and worryingly sluggish. “He’s still alive,” Dave said, focusing on the task at hand- keeping Sollux alive. Everything else was background noise, irrelevant. “We can save him. John! Where the fuck is Feferi?!”

His own heart was pounding fast with fear even as he calmed down. The troll looked so empty and lifeless as Dave crossed his hands over the troll’s heart and started the compressions to a steady chant of Karkat’s endless _“oh shit oh shit oh shit’s.”_

His own mind was strangely calm. This was simple counting, as easy as following a ten-sect beat. The blood on his hands didn’t matter. It scarcely looked like blood, categorizing itself to Dave as more like thick, gleaming hotdog condiments than blood. 

“John,” Dave ordered, the command smooth and collected. The Breath player knew what Dave was asking and didn’t miss a second. Air wound itself into Sollux’s deflating lungs so at least the troll was spared the indignity of someone locking lips for a little life saving mouth-to-mouth. 

The door burst open and a second Dave ran in, towing Feferi behind him because of fucking course Dave had to do everything himself.

The troll’s tyrian eyes were wide behind her goggles and her lower lip was caught in her teeth. “Where is he?” She demanded, every inch a ferocious streak of stubborn royalty. Feferi was a force of nature to be reckoned with, and the Life player meant business. “Show me.”

Feferi knelt beside them, her colorful skirts soaking up the dull yellow that was rapidly smearing everywhere. She set her fingers against Sollux’s temples and cradled his head to her chest. The Heiress closed her eyes.

“I have him,” she said, hissing out a sharp exhale. Both Daves let out a shaky breath of sheer relief, and Dave saw that future him had yellow and red staining his front. Huh. The extra Dave vanished back to his own present/future time an instant later before Dave could worry too much about it. He had more pressing matters to deal with.

“Can you help him?” Karkat asked.

“I’m trying to,” Feferi said, baring her gritted fangs as she strained against whatever kind of self-immolation was happening inside of Sollux. “But there isn’t much that I can do. Moray if I were godtier I could do more, but I have him and I won’t let him go.” She swore, gritting her fangs like she alone was holding the troll’s life-force inside his body. 

“We need to get him to the hospital,” Dave decided. “The sooner the better.”

“How?” Karkat asked, still panicking as he pointed out the obvious. “Jade isn’t back yet and we can’t risk moving him.”

“I could fly him,” John offered. “It would only take a minute.”

Aradia appeared out of the shadows like a wraith. There were red gears turning in her eyes. “This is not the time for Sollux to die,” she declared solemnly. The overturned chair flew over to her on its own with a burst of white psychic energy and she tapped the ends of her claws rhythmically against its back as she surveyed the destroyed room and her comatose, bleeding matesprit with violently alert eyes. “He will be well.”

“Aradia, jegus,” Karkat snapped, “Could you be anymore fucking vague?”

“Yes.”

Karkat screeched at her wordlessly and Jade jumped back into the room. 

“I can take him!” She yelled, and then Dave was moving through a place that was green fire and void and stars and felt himself become so many molicules, 10 to the power of 23 to fully deconstruct him into his individual atoms before he retook the shape and form of a human life and nearly face-planted into the cold off-white panel floor of the hospital. Except he didn’t, because Strider balance was perfect and Dave was nigh unshakable once he had his feet under him. He helped a still-yelling Karkat balance at his side as Feferi cradled Sollux in her arms and lifted him like his weight was nothing.

Rose took the lead from there as an army of panicked nurses descended.

Jade grabbed Dave’s arm. “Thanks,” she said, “For the warning?”

Dave almost asked what warning, but he knew. Time was pulling at him, and now that he’d reached the end of his helpfulness here his inner Knight was demanding that he fight in some other way. 

“No problem,” Dave answered calmly, and he threw himself backwards in time. 

He fell into the flow. He didn’t plan on exact times, he just rolled with it. Time was complicated enough without him trying to think his way through things too much. Time would take him where he needed to be to close the loop. 

He landed in the lab just a few minutes in the past. The lights were still on and there was yellow blood down his front. He didn’t waste time. He knew this was a terrible idea, but if there was a slim chance that he could stop this then dammit he had to try.

He flashstepped towards the control room, taking the rambling halls as fast as he could as the beginnings of the psionic freak-out started. The walls started shaking earthquake-style, like this was the west coast and not in the middle of the most geologically inactive state in the Midwest.

The floor suddenly vanished under his feet with a screeching tear of metal but it didn’t mean anything, he could fly, missing floor shouldn’t matter. He didn’t miss a beat until the ceiling collapsed on top of him as he felt the timeline fracture around him like a heart attack. 

He felt the exact instant he became Doomed, a familiar and paralyzing jolt of ice water in his veins. The clock in his head started screaming as he lost the flow of the Alpha timeline. He felt Paradox Space lining up a kill shot to fling its fury down at him from on high. He was a dead Dave walking. 

The hallway completely gave way and landed on him with a few tons of rock and debris. The pain was instantly higher than anything his mind could categorize so it gave up on trying and instead pumped pure adrenaline into his system. 

So when he coughed the dust out of his lungs and looked at himself from where he’d been knocked out of the sky like a shot bird and saw that his body now ended just below his ribcage it didn’t really bother him. He saw the stump of his spine surrounded by various torn viscera and intestines and felt the life draining out of him.

With his last few seconds of consciousness Dave thought, _‘oh look, organs’,_ because it was a dumbshit thing to do and shock was one hell of a narcotic, then died immediately. 

It was neither Heroic or Just, but he was Doomed so that did not matter. 

Time did not rewind. Dave did not restart or retry anything. Instead, this time, when he flashstepped to the lab he turned left instead of right as the memories of the Doomed Dave from a parralell and apparently incorrect choice struck him in a sickening wave of regret. The Alpha timeline wouldn’t allow for him to change things without starting a new timeline, and since he didn’t want that either, Paradox Space prevented the imminent paradox before Dave could make it. Paradox Space wouldn’t allow such blatant changes to the past without getting pissy about it and offing him like a scorned lover just to remind him how powerless he really was. 

Dave’s flashstepping came to a halt as he clutched at his chest, his brain alight with the new memory of taking a slice of rebar directly to the spinal column the exact instant he considered going back to the port room to stop Sollux before he could pull shit like this. _Fuck._

Dave was still in the Alpha timeline, freshly pissed-off at himself as his doomed self became irrelevant. Nothing had changed as the floor of the hallway shook with a screech to the distant bang of falling metal. Dave winced at the crashing, clanking sound and bit at his lip. Down the hall, his own dead body would be slowly cooling in a puddle of his blood.

Actually, he’d better do something about that. Jade or John might see and flip the fuck out later. Or worse- Karkat. 

He spared a second to dig out his lower half and captchalouge both parts of the corpse into his sylladex with mechanical disassociation. Dave always kept a card or two open for doomed selves, and he added the body onto an ever-growing list of fuckups. He spared a quick glance at himself because he couldn’t help but look. 

He was a sad mess as that point, all broken limbs and crushed flesh. He was a bug on the windshield of fate- no wonder he’d been killed. What the fuck had he been thinking? 

A few bloodstains transferred to his shirt as he pulled his damaged goods out from under smashed construction parts. Red mixed with the yellow on his pajamas.

Dave was an idiot. All the proof that trying to intervene would get him Doomed faster than a turkey on Thanksgiving had been right in front of him. It was also an inevitability that he would try and fail.

Time was officially the worst aspect of them all.

He went to find Feferi. He was keeping this by-the-book this time. Dead Daves were the enemy.

The Heiress was with Eridan and the other trolls in the communal lounge just like Karkat had ordered them to be. “Feferi,” he panted, throwing open the door. “Hurry, we need you in the command room in exactly one minute and fifty seconds.”

“Is that Sollux’s blood?” She shrilled loudly, and every head turned to them with curious eyes. 

“And his own,” Terezi clarified, her nose wrinkling. “Something’s definitely not gone according to plan with Mr. Appleberry and company.”

“Everyone stay here and look out for falling ceilings,” Dave said. “It’s about to get extremely unstable in a minute.”

The lab shook with another bang and the lights flickered. Dave’s internal clock began to scream at him, but he held out and waited…. And waited…

Jade fell across the floor in a tumble of black skirts, a stranger with blue eyes at her side.

“Jade,” Dave said, relief coating his voice. “Thank jegus. I have new marching orders for you effective right now.”

“What is it?” Jade asked quickly, her ears quirked to the girl (Jane?) beside her. “I still have to get the rest of them.”

“Take them to the lower gym and have Terezi and Tavros watch them, then immediately jump to Karkat’s side and jump us all, myself included, directly to the trauma center of the hospital. Can you do that?” Dave asked, outlining each step of the plan as quickly as possible. 

“He’s killed himself, hasn’t he?” Jade asked worriedly. 

“Not if we can help it,” Dave said grimly. “Now go get ‘em Harley.”

Jade vanished again with a bark of determination. Dave took Feferi’s hand and started running.

They made it to the control room at exactly the right second. Sollux was on the ground, Dave’s past self and Karkat beside him. Rose was chanting spells of fortune and luck over them, the light she gave off subtle as a dying star. 

Dave ushered the Life player to the side of the fallen troll. 

“Where is he?” Feferi asked hotly, her long black hair like her lusis’ many arms around her face. “Show me.”

He badly wanted to warn his past self not to fuck up and die like he just did, but the blood was already on him. He didn’t want another alternate timeline added to his collection of failures. 

“I have him,” Feferi breathed out, a small and grim smile on her lips, and Dave knew it was time for him to go. He was needed elsewhere.

He made the jump back to the present. Not a single spare second had passed for the hospital and the rest of the world, but the last extra half-hour had been a nightmare for Dave and his bones ached. He fell again into place at Karkat’s side after he saw the back of his own pale head from across the room, just in time to see his past self make the jump back from where Jade stood. With a snap the loop was completed. Now there was only one Dave. 

“Where the fuck where you?” The troll demanded. Time shenanigans weren’t lost on him, and he scowled at Dave with a grimace. 

“Closing a loop and saving our asses, as usual,” Dave answered. “Jade found the other players. Terezi and Tavros are watching them in the old meteor gym.”

“Good call,” Karkat admitted. Something in the troll’s voice was off, and Dave watched him closely. Karkat’s eyes looked unfocused and he was breathing too fast.

“Are you okay?” Dave asked, ready to call over more trained medical professionals if Karkat started looking… diey. That was an extremely stressful situation Karkat had just gone through, the exact opposite of what the _literal_ doctor had _literally_ ordered. “Shit, Karkat?”

“I’m fine, Dave,” he said, but his face was wary. “I’m just a little light-headed. Must be from Jade zapping us here like an inter-dimensional warpship.”

“You kept all your atoms, right?” Dave said, joking to lighten the mood. He had to believe that Sollux would be fine. “None of them got switched with bonafide Strider genes? This shit is so fine even Paradox Space couldn’t clone it a second time, and chromosomes got all twisted up sideways trying to combine into the essence of the truest human specimen imaginable. It’s me. I’m eugenically flawless. Science bitches everywhere are weeping over my impressive genome sequence.”

“Not now, Dave,” Karkat said. He was looking down the hall to where they’d taken Sollux. Dave could feel the blood drying on his shirt, the red stains already fading as Paradox Space reclaimed its victim. In a few hours the dead him in his sylladex would vanish as well. Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust. No trace of an alt doomed self would remain in the Alpha timeline after death.

“That’s your blood, isn’t it?” Karkat asked. Dave hadn’t realized he was staring at it, his chin tilted down to gaze blankly at the bloodstains on his chest. “What did you do?”

“Nothing,” Dave said, immedianty denying the importance of what he’d done, because it didn’t really matter. Not anymore. “Don’t worry about it.”

Karkat wavered, lines of exhaustion etched across his face as he let out a deep, knowing sigh. “You doomed yourself, didn’t you?”

Goddammit. “Maybe a little,” Dave admitted, unable to lie. “It’s not a big deal. No lasting damage was done.” He had the memory of lying under the wall, crushed and broken. He had every doomed self tucked away in his head. By now they all blurred together. He was nothing but different shades of red. 

“Dave,” Karkat said in exasperation, shaking his head. “You’re an utter fucking moron sometimes, you know that, right?”

“I had to try.”

“I know,” Karkat answered. “I would have done the same. Fuck. We are predictable bastards after all.”

Dave felt Karkat lean into him and put his arm across the troll’s shoulders. It was getting easier to hold him close, and the comfort Karkat offered was amazing. It considerably eased the tremor of getting crushed and torn to death ten minutes ago.

That still didn’t prepare him for Karkat’s next sentence. “Let’s go see the others.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dead Daves are the enemy to us all because time is not a nice aspect 
> 
> poor dave ~~(i really dont like this chapter but i promised to stop complaining about that)~~
> 
> yo scream at me on my tumblr if you feel like talking i'm TriptychCognizen (yes i know i spelled it wrong im trying to get it fixed)


	11. Oh shit abort there's feelings here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at this- the new chapter is up a day early! ;)

Chapter 11

Dave met Jake first, because it had to happen. He couldn’t avoid meeting the new team forever, no matter how badly he wanted to pretend that a certain member of the four of them didn’t exist.

The teen was surprisingly small and fine-boned, made of sun-tanned skin and strong hands. Jake had the black hair and green eyes of a Harley but he called himself English. He wore a pair of guns at his hips and his shorts showed an impressive span of upper-thigh.

“Blimey mate,” the other boy said. An overbite like John’s made his smile painfully familiar even though the crisp accent was new. “I’ve never seen a get-up like that before. It’s quite the fancy ensemble.”

Dave was still in his godtier outfit, now spotless thanks to the only gaming construct that wasn’t complete shit. “Let me guess,” Dave said. “You were the one on the island.”

“Right-o”, Jake exclaimed, oddly pleased that Dave had guessed correctly with such ease. “Man, I’ve heard Roxy say your Jade lived on a version of ol’ Hellmurder as well. I wonder if we ever got into the same adventures about the place! What do you reckon?”

Dave blinked at the string of words. They sounded so strange when strung together in that exact order. Weird. He was saved from answering by a second unknown voice. 

“Davie!” Someone shrieked his name in joy and a blur of white and pink launched herself at him. “It’s you!”

“Roxy,” Dave greeted warmly, steering clear of the oncoming embrace with good grace by deflecting her towards Karkat, who looked only mildly irritated to end up in the over-enthusiastic embrace of a total stranger.

Roxy looked so much like Rose that they could have been sisters. That realization did not bode well for the thought he was trying his hardest to avoid. “It’s good to finally meet you,” Dave said. 

The girl tossed her unruly hair back into the semblance of order. Her clear pink eyes were a mix between Rose’s lavender and his own. “Where’s the hacker?” Roxy asked, concerned. “The troll with the red shades said he damn near fucking killed hisself punching the code through.”

“He did, but he should get better,” Dave answered. “Karkat said he just over-exerted his psionics and nearly melted his brain. He lost some blood but he should wake up soon.”

“It’s entirely his fault because he is an idiot,” Karkat interjected, still steaming over the event. “Sollux doesn’t deserve your concern.”

Roxy obviously knew enough about Karkat to know that he didn’t mean his words. “I’ll have to thank him for saving our asses before I wail on em, then,” she said, then she rebounded from Karkat directly into Dave, hugging him tightly. “I can’t believe it. A whole planet full of people!” She snuffled into his shirt and balled her fists in his cape as he froze, uncertain what to do. “And it’s you! You! Dave Strider! I’ve never seen so many people before and it’s so awesome and we’re in the game and we’re not dead and we’re here and-”

“Roxy, maybe lay off the bloke,” Jake suggested, the lifesaver. “He’s had a lame trip today and I’m sure he’s tuckered out.”

“Where’s Jane?” Dave asked, perfectly calm and collected as Roxy regretfully released him. Haha, success. Freakout neatly avoided. It hadn’t even been hard, for fuck’s sake. He was getting better at this.

“Jane and Dirk are talking with John,” the newest Lalonde answered promptly. “Game stuff and rules for Earth 1.5”

“1.5?” Karkat asked curiously.

“Sure,” Roxy answered, slightly smug. “My earth is earth 2.0, so this one is earth one and a half.”

Dave shrugged. “That sounds right to me,” he said, secretly relieved that… Dirk, that was his name, Dirk, wasn’t currently here. 

The door to the gym opened and Vriska strode in with swagger in her step. She was also in her godtier outfit- just to show off for the new players. Her boots crept up her calves and her cerulean wings sparkled. “Congratulations on getting yourselves sucked into this shitty clusterfuck,” the troll said.

“Wow,” Roxy’s eyes were wide with a fake innocence. She had that same hidden glint in her eyes that Rose had- super snark activated. “Yep. Definitely an alien. And wait, isn’t this entire session being fucked your fault because you fucked your game up that bad?”

Karkat laughed, loud and full. “I like her,” he said. 

Vriska frowned and nonchalantly appraised Roxy with eight-fold vision. “Not bad,” she admitted, her every inch waspish. “Not good, but not shit either. Work on your delivery and aim a little lower next time and you’ll be better than half of the smucks in this session.”

“Vriska!” Terezi charged into the gym behind her, cane in hand. “I’d advise against making enemies of the new players so soon!”

“Too fucking late for that,” Karkat said, still smiling as Vriska shot him a toxic look. 

Tavros crept in behind the tealblood, his eyes anxious. “I, uh, told her that she was not allowed onto the gym floor as per John’s orders,” Tavros said meekly. 

“And I said it didn’t count if I floated.” Vriska rolled her eyes and lifted four inches off of the floor. “That’s why loopholes exist. I’m not on the battlearena floor, so it isn’t against the rules.”

“The jury calls for aquittance!” Terezi yelled, snapping her cane down with a clank, waving to a spot five feet to the right of where Vriska was floating. “Such a minor exploitation will not be enough to turn the case from the truth!”

“Can we act sane for five minutes or is that not possible?” Dave asked, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “Jesus guys, this is supposed to be our first impression and we’re already roleplaying goodcop badcop.”

“I am not familiar with your earth ‘good cop’”, Terezi stated, marking her words with air quotations. “But I’d say as far as first impressions go, this one’s not so bad. Remember when we first met Dave?” She winked at him knowingly, her face lined with glee. “Karkat nearly had a rage aneurysm and burnt a hole through the Furthest Ring.”

“I did no such thing,” Karkat defended himself, blushing as he tried to deflect the blame. “It was all Egbert’s fault. He’s the one who did something _unspeakable._ ” Karkat said, shuddering at the memory.

“You also tried to lick my face,” Dave deadpanned at Terezi, to save Karkat from the embarrassment of reliving that particular fiasco as he shrugged at her. “So I’d say that yes, minor improvements to both of our interspecies cultural manners have been made.” A muffled explosion rumbled in the distance, followed by angry yelling that Dave acted like he didn’t hear. 

Roxy and Jake kept looking back and forth between the five of them, and at last Roxy smiled. “I think we’ll get along splendidly,” she said, her eyes sparkling. 

“Smells like fun,” Terezi said, sniffing in the direction of the noise. “There’s been falls around the meteor all day. Sollux really shook the place apart with his tantrum. The damage was almost as bad as the atmosphere re-entry.”

“I know,” Dave said. He’d experienced that first-hand. Dave appreciated it when Karkat shot him a fleeting look to make sure he was okay, but it was unnecessary. Dave was feeling totally fine. He was actually pretty pleased. Jane’s team was okay and safe and Roxy was awesome and Jake seemed friendly enough. He could handle this. 

Then John came in through the door, the remaining two human players at his side. The elusive cherub was missing, off with Jade and Kanaya somewhere talking about Space Things. 

Dave felt his spine stiffen on instinct. A tremor made of a lifetime’s worth of conditioned fear flood his system at the sight of familiar pointed shades. It was like getting struck by lightning. Wasn’t he supposed to have a little warning first? Oh shit, he knew those fucking shades. He knew exactly how the light reflected off them, he knew how they flashed and glimmered under the dull overhead lights. On Dirk the irony was lessened but somehow he still pulled the look off. 

Dave felt Karkat’s claws dig into his arm, hard, but not hard enough to break his suddenly terrified gaze away from the two new players. It wasn’t supposed to hit him this hard.

He couldn’t help but catalog parts of what he saw, to break down the image of the other boy, to focus on the individual disparate pieces like he didn’t already know exactly what picture they would form.

Familiar pointed shades. Defined shoulders and a slim build, nothing like the mass and thick muscle of his Bro. Pale hair that stuck up in every direction like the kid had stuck a fork in a wall socket, no battered baseball cap in sight. They walked the same way, their core tense and hands loose and ready for a weapon, fingers half-curled. But Dirk’s blank face wasn’t a punch to the gut. There was no hat pulled low over his face and his shoulder was bare, Lil’ Cal long destroyed to rot in puppet hell where the cursed thing belonged. 

It was everything Dave had feared and not all at once. The familiarities were just enough to kick him where it hurt and the rest screamed different loud enough to make him doubt himself. 

It was too much. Dave felt like he was drowning. His hands were cold. 

Jane greeted him warmly. Dave couldn’t focus on her exact words enough to make them make sense. Her eyes were a few shades off John’s deep blue, a lighter shade like fresh berries. She said something else, smiling kindly.

His ears were ringing. Dave drug his eyes off of Dirk and swallowed, blinking rapidly behind his shades. He felt the arm Karkat was holding in a vice-grip give a shake, his hands longing for a sword as he clenched his fists. 

He tired to calm down, to force himself to hear what was going on. 

John was talking excitedly, oblivious and immune to Karkat’s panicked death-glare. “I’m just glad we managed to get you out before Derse started trying to off you themselves.”

“They tried,” Dirk said grimly, and with his shades Dave couldn’t tell if Dirk was looking at him or not. His voice was nothing like Bro’s. It was cool and even, but there was no calculated threat lurking beneath. Dave didn’t hear the chill like glacier ice, ripe with the promise of violence. 

“I bet they fucking did,” Karkat answered, trying to drag the focus onto himself as he laughed breathlessly, still clawing at Dave’s arm out of sight of them. “The BQ is a spiteful bitch when the mood takes her, which is every single one of her moods.”

“I never had to fuck with her shit,” Dirk said, drawling effortlessly. The hairs on the back of Dave’s neck stood up at the sound of the familiar dragged words and clipped syllables. “It was just the agents she sent after us. Regents mostly. Assassination attempts that for the most part failed miserably on Derse.”

“Not so much on Prospit,” Jane said, her hand cupping her ribs like she felt the blow. “They nabbed both Jake and myself I’m afraid.”

“That doesn’t matter anymore,” Karkat said, his brusque gentleness obvious to Dave even as he focused on not hyperventilating. Terezi was giving him an odd look, even Tavros was staring. Could Terezi hear how his erratic heart was about to beat itself out of his chest? Could Tavros smell his fear?

Karkat continued like nothing was wrong, his voice pitched too high with stress. “Dreamselves were always a surplus, just another way to gather information in a game that won’t even let us get some normal fucking sleep. The Derse and Prospit in your session are powerless anyway since there were no prototypings.”

The Mayor walked in, hand in hand with a green skinned and fangy person who stood slim and boney at Jade’s side. Kanaya’s asymmetrical horns cast them in an odd obscurities. Three space players together.

Maybe that was why Dave felt like the room was spinning. He was going to throw up. 

“Callie, isn’t this great?” Roxy hurried over to the cherub’s side. “I told you that this would work out, didn’t I?”

This was not working out. This was the farthest thing from working out in the existence of all things ever. 

“You did,” Calliope admitted, her voice surprisingly light and high-pitched. It took a second’s worth of disconnect before Dave could link it to her. “Though I did not doubt you.”

“So you’re the other player,” Vriska said, looking the cherub over. “Welcome to the club of those who won’t die quietly. We’re going to fuck Skia over.” She said with pride. 

“For all the impossible bullshit it heaped on us like steaming shit from the back end of a cholerbear,” Karkat said, trying to defuse the situation. Dave couldn’t feel his face; he had no idea what his expression looked like, but now even John, oblivious, blind John, was looking at him strangely. 

“I look forward to it,” the cherub answered. “My own session was fractured before I ever entered the game. I fight the same villain as you.”

“That’s all I fucking ask for,” Karkat said, and he dug his claws in harder. Shit, it was actually starting to hurt, but his blood was moving so slow that the distant and faint sensation of pain took too long to reach whatever part of his frontal lobe was still functioning. He was all hind brain now, nothing but instincts and prey-fear screaming at him to run. 

“The Empress is currently rocketing at us at near the speed of light,” Jade said, uncertain as she shot a baffled look at John, who shrugged. Was everyone watching him? He couldn’t breathe- his chest was too tight for air. “Jack and PM are still locked in stalemate as they rip apart the Furthest Ring. With our battlefield and Jane’s session we might just have a shot at winning.”

“Skia is vast and her order unfathomable,” Calliope said, probably the only person left who hadn’t recognized that something was very, very wrong with this picture. “I do not think that this collision of sessions was by mere coincidence alone.”

“So we have a shot now,” Dirk said, his face expressionless, voice flat. “Let’s do this.”

And that was the breaking point. The echo of Dirk’s words only reached Dave after his instinctive reaction to them. _Let’s do this._

Dave slammed time to a halt. Full-stop. 

The air stopped moving as his vision fogged over with red. Outside the clouds hung motionless as the planet’s orbit was frozen. The next second did not come, because nothing existed but Dave and the frozen outlines of the people and the walls and the floors around him. His hands were on his Timestables as he held all of time at a halt, enforcing a universal time-out for all existence and everything in it. He let the Timestables fade back into his sylladex as he gasped in a shuddering breath that had his entire frame shaking.

God it hurt- this hurt. He extracted his arm from Karkat’s claws without thinking too hard about anything in particular. Not once did he look at Dirk’s frozen face. Dave needed to get the hell out of here, and he flashstepped out the door and locked it behind him with a senseless desperation because a lock wasn’t going to stop anyone in that room from following him but dammit it made him feel better so suck it logic. Logic wasn’t in control of his actions right now. Logic was in the backseat, gagged and duck-taped as fear and panic took his motor skills for a joyride. 

Dave absconded, his heart pounding in the back of his throat each time his feet hit the floor of the meteor. The halls were empty and deserted and his thoughts were swarming around the sharp confines of his skull.

How many times had he heard those exact same words? How many times had he bled for them? 

Dave didn’t stop until he was back in his room with the door locked. That was when he let time resume it’s flow. He let time slip back through his fingers and the next second came into being as time continued on like he hadn’t hit the pause button. It didn’t do much, but the brief timestop gave Dave the chance to get to a safe place and make sure he was alone before the wave broke. 

He couldn’t do this. 

Dave tried to reach his bed but his legs gave out halfway there. He hit the ground and curled up around himself on the ground next to the bed. His fingers felt numb and there was a tearing pain in his chest that he couldn’t breathe around without gasping out loud. 

His eyes were burning and when he forced them closed he couldn’t stand the darkness he saw behind his closed lids so he opened them again. His eyes had never felt so dry before, not even on LOHAC when the heat from the open pools of lava had scorched all of the moisture off of his face so that his lips cracked and bled. He felt sick. 

Red text flashed across his shades and he watched the words form blankly.

apocalypseArisen (AA)began Pestering turntechGodhead (TG)!

AA: y0u paused time. i kn0w, i felt it.  
AA: what was it that made y0u ch0ke this universe’s temp0ral pr0gressi0n int0 submissi0n for 0ne minute and thirty-f0ur sec0nds? i th0ught we agreed n0t t0 mess with time unless it was strictly necessary and i kn0w we are n0t under any s0rt 0f attack.  
TG: we did promise each other that  
TG: im sorry im not like you aradia I cant effect only one part of the timeline and leave the rest alone im a fucking knight we don’t get localized shit  
TG: when i mess with time i have to mess with the entirety of the timeline as a single unit because thats just how it fucking works  
TG: ok im fine  
TG i just needed a few extra seconds to deal with something but its over now  
AA: y0u seem distressed.  
AA: is everything alright dave?  
TG: ngl everything is fine aradia  
TG: or it will be now i guesss  
TG: fuck  
AA: dave what’s g0ing 0n?  
TG: my finger slipped that’s all  
AA: 0k  
AA: i d0n’t believe y0u.  
TG: that sounds like a you problem  
AA: y0u’re being ridicul0us. i d0n’t want t0 push y0u but time and the path it takes is imp0rtant t0 me. it may just be the m0st imp0rtant thing 0f all.  
TG: i get it i do but im still not telling and i reserve my right to use timetravel however the hell i want  
AA: that’s fine i guess.  
AA: y0ur reacti0n is n0t really important. i was 0nly stalling y0u.  
TG: you what  
AA: if y0u w0n’t talk to me at least talk t0 him  
TG: aradia what the fuck!

apocalypseArisen (AA)  is an idle chum!  


TG: ok what the hell now you’re ignoring me? what the flying fuck  
TG: you cant be serious  


apocalypseArisen (AA)  is an idle chum!  
  


There was a knock on his door. 

Dave nearly froze time again, just so that he could recover in the peace and quiet of his own personal isolation bubble because fuck healthy coping mechaisms. He didn’t want to face whoever was outside of his door, not when he was freezing and shuddering and couldn’t quite see straight. Not when he was this fucking _vunerable._

“Dave?” Karkat, of fucking course it had to be Karkat, said tentatively from outside. “Dave, are you in there?”

The temptation to freeze time for the next hour or so was a strong one, just for long enough that Dave could get his breath back. Just until the room stopped spinning.

Dave tried to uncurl from his position on the floor but his limbs weren’t working and his arm spasmed when he tried to rise up. He ended up with his head on the ground, his knees drawn up to his chest. “Go away, Karkat,” Dave managed to get out, but he was too quiet. The words were almost a whisper. He couldn’t get enough air in. His cheek was resting on the cool ground and the edge of his shades dug into the skin above his eyesocket. 

“I’m coming in,” Karkat said, rattling the locked door. “Dave? Can you hear me? This is your last chance before I break down your respiteblock door.”

Dave glanced up, a warning on his tongue an instant before there was a loud thump from the door. The metal shook but didn’t give an inch.

“MotherFUCKER!” Karkat cursed, hissing. “Ouch. That always looked easier in the movies.”

Dave could almst see the troll standing outside, rubbing at his shoulder as he cursed out Dave’s unmoving door. Trolls in general might be strong as shit, but that steel door was 88% of the reason Dave had chosen this room to colonize as his own. It might have been funny under any other circumstances. That door wasn’t going anywhere.

“Fine, I’ll do this the hard way,” Karkat said, growling. There was a loud, metallic screeching like nails down a chalkboard that made Dave instinctively cover his ears and wince, and then the point of a sickle jabbed itself through the slim crack between the door and it’s frame. The sharp point of metal wiggled around, sawing at the inner mechanism of the lock with a grating sound before there was a sharp snap as the lock failed. The door shuddered open.

Dave blinked, his gaze swimming as Karkat came into the room. The troll didn’t even say anything; he just took one look at Dave and knelt beside him, pulling the comforter and blankets off of his bed with a tug. Dave felt so cold that Karkat’s hands were searing spots of bright heat as he cupped Dave’s chin and gently turned his face up. 

Dave expected it to hurt. He remembered a dozen other times his door had been opened against his will, remembered hands dragging him out from under his bed before he abandoned trying to hide because hiding always made what came next hurt more. He was expecting pain, not these gentle, soothing taps as Karkat pulled the wad of bedding onto the pair of them and bundled them around his frozen body. Karkat folded his cape out of the way, rubbing small circles over his shoulders as he pulled Dave’s crumpled form into his lap. 

“Shhh,” Karkat whispered, and he was warm, so warm against Dave’s frozen skin. “It’s okay, you’re safe. I’ve got you.”

It happened slowly, a thaw of tense muscles and gasped panic. Karkat rubbed at Dave’s clenched hands, persistently drawing the tension out of them until he wasn’t cutting his palms with shallow crescents from resisting the urge to grab a sword. Dave came back into himself in starts and stops, his limbs twitching until he was able to uncurl enough to return Karkat’s embrace, clutching at him, his face buried against the troll’s ribs until Karkat was the only thing he could feel. 

“How are you doing?” Karkat whispered, checking on him. 

“Better,” Dave choked out, not raising his face out of Karkat’s sweater. Now that his brain was slowly regaining it’s function, thoughts were starting to trickle back into his awareness and none of the were good.

What had he just done???

Dave had taken one look at the new player and had fallen apart. There was no way the entire meteor didn’t know what happened. They would know, they would wonder why, Rose would see and understand and ask questions he couldn’t answer. God. Fuck. How could he manage to keep this a secret for over three years and have everything go straight to hell in the span of 24 hours? 

“What am I going to do?” Dave whispered, horrified. “Everyone is going to know.”

Karkat didn’t lie to reassure him. “I know,” he said, holding Dave closer. “We’ll figure it out.”

“I just, he… Dirk. He, he looks just fucking like him,” Dave stuttered. “He sounds like him. I know the ectobiology behind it- I know he’s not the same person but…” Dave couldn’t finish his statement. The words got too twisted up in his mouth. 

“It’s okay,” Karkat said. “We’ll figure it out.”

“But, I,I,-”

“No,” Karkat stated firmly, cutting him off. “We’ll figure it out.”

Dave didn’t have the breath to argue. He stayed like that, being held, cradled even. He’d never been held before. Karkat was warm and solid and comforting, and his touch and his closeness wasn’t the overwhelming mix of _too much_ and _stop_ and _don’t_ that everyone else gave off. John was too fucking huggy, Jade had a habit of erratically teleporting in and out of places with no warning, and Rose saw straight through everything in a way that made him feel like she’d love to scrape out the inside of his skull just to see what horrors she could uncover within the writhing mess that was his fucked-up brain, but Karkat was different. 

The troll’s touch was safe, it was steadying, it was wanted. _Wanted._ Karkat swept away the Strider pride that he’d had painfully beaten into him for his entire childhood, the unending lesson to always look collected and emotionless, to not want things like this because wanting meant weakness. His thoughts were scrambled, fragments of half-formed ideas that fluttered through his awareness. Want things like what? Someone else? Comfort? Whatever this nameless thing was, the subtle drag of Karkat’s hands against his skin as he leaned into the troll- was something that Bro would have killed him for without hesitation. Like, comfort? Not allowed. Sleep? Food? Not allowed. The security to feel safe in his own bedroom? Not allowed. Wanting to touch and be touched, to be treated like he was worth something? Not allowed. Wanting these things from a guy? An alien? Definitely _not fucking allowed._

But it was whatever, because Bro was dead and Karkat was here and Dave didn’t need to be afraid any longer. Being straight, being not-straight- it didn’t fucking matter. He’d watched the earth burn to the ground and spent three years locked in the endless depth of space and all of the bullshit that he should have left behind shouldn’t fucking matter anymore because he’d found someone else, another living person that he wanted, and trusted, and Karkat’s hands were warm and he was so cold and confused and alone and afraid.

“Karkat?” Dave asked, his voice thawing as he finaly started to relax. “I want to get off this goddamn floor.”

“Let me help,” Karkat said, lifting him up like he weighed nothing. 

Dave nearly protested- he hated the lack of control that came with being picked up, but Karkat only lifted him up to set him gently on his unmade bed. Dave immidiantly turned and pulled Karkat down with him, clinging, unwilling to let go. 

The troll stiffened, then relaxed into Dave’s clingy embrace. He didn’t stop running his fingers through Dave’s hair in soothing, comforting strokes. “Hey,” he said, so quietly for him. “It’s okay. You’re going to be okay.”

Something clicked into place in Dave’s mind, the thought odd and ridiculous enough to distract him from the dozen other things that were still screaming a him. “Hey, Karkat,” he said, testing the waters. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but this is flagrantly pale isn’t it?”

Karkat scoffed, plainly embarrassed. “Shut up, Strider.”

“Oh no,” Dave said, in mock-horror. “Now I’ve drug you down into the sloppy quadrant blurring mess that forms the bulk of human relationships.”

“Shut up,” Karkat said again, kissing the top of his forehead. “Like I even care about that right now.”

Dave kept quiet, processing that. “You don’t?”

“Nope,” Karkat answered. “I gave up on not vacillating with you in the beginning because I accepted the fact that I’m a quadrant deviant piece of shit.”

“Hey,” Dave said, straightening. “Don’t say that. You’re not a piece of shit.”

“By my species definition I am a waling abomination on every conceivable level,” Karkat explained, not even sounding bothered by it. “So I thought to mysef, why the hell not? It’s not like I ever fit into their rules, why not just behave like what feels right by me? Why not embrace it?” He paused to kiss a line across Dave’s jaw, stopping just shy of his lips. “I was so sick of caring about all the ways I was a fucked up Alternian. Fuck the entire Empire, the Fleet, and the HIC. Now I just want to be me, a troll, whatever that means.”

Dave kissed him, deep and desperate, his soul on fire inside him. He only broke free to pant, “It sounds like you handled your troll gay panic a hell of a lot better than I handled mine.”

Karkat laughed, shaking like he was trying not to cry. “Gog, Dave, we’re so fucked up.”

“Isn’t that what you told John a relationship was?” Dave asked. “Being mutually fucked up together?”

“I did,” Karkat admitted, “And I’ll stand by my fucking words. I’ll be friends with Jade without the need for some fake half-assed auspitism excuse, I’ll care about Sollux and stop him for hurting himself, I’ll be moirails with Gamzee because that’s what he needs me to be, I’ll support Kanaya in all her endeavors because she’s a better friend than I’ve ever been, I’ll listen to Eridan complain about his melodramatic bullshit, and I’ll give the Empress a fresh serving of fuck you the entire time.” 

Karkat sounded so sure of himself, like he’d banished all his doubts and laid them to rest a sweep ago. This sexy confidence and emboldened assurance made Dave blink, wondering how he could have ever ended up with someone so perfect. 

“Holy shit, Karkat,” Dave said, “How are you so awesome?”

“I learned it from you,” Karkat said, looking at him. “I always thought you were the one who had their shit together and I thought it was because you just did not give a fuck about anyone’s expectations. It seems so effortless for you! I envied that and it made me resent you until I saw the truth you tried so hard to hide.”

Dave couldn’t speak- his throat was sore. It hurt to swallow. 

“Which is why I’m promising you that it’ll be okay,” Karkat said snuggling deeper into the nest of blankets to press himself against Dave. “Because I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”

Dave couldn’t help it. The tears he’d been fighting against for the past hour came in a wave, silent tears that he couldn’t hold back. Karkat help him the entire time, whispering reassurances and promises and half-formed plans to keep Rose off of him for long enough to try for damage control.

It was exactly what Dave needed to hear, and he ost track of the time he spent in Karkat’s arm, the unending clock in his head that obsessively kept track of each passing second finally falling silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love love LOVE this chapter!
> 
> This one was a monster to write, but i think i made it through intact


	12. The many uses of Beans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heck yeah new chapter and boy is this a big one! So much stuff is happening guys!!!! Let's hear it for some good fluff!!!!!!!!
> 
> But first.... the _angst_

Chapter 12

“They want a what from me?” Dave asked.

Rose stood in his doorway, watching as he fiddled with the door lock Karkat had broken. It was mostly useless now- the bar had been snapped. He’d need a blowtorch to fix this. Holy hell, how had Karkat managed to do this kind of damage with only a sickle?

She raised her eyebrows, her foot tapping. “A physical,” she answered. “The hospital requested it after Sollux’s episode, probably in return for their free treatment of both him and Karkat. They still want answers we can’t give them.”

The look she gave him was full of questions that Dave couldn’t answer, and he cought the double meaning behind her words. He ignored it. “So they think a physical will help?” Dave nearly snorted. “I’ve never been to a fucking doctor before in my life.”

“Never?” She asked, surprised. 

He didn’t respond. He’d already said too much and anything else was just handing her more ammunition after his stunt yesterday with the new team, which she kindly hadn’t asked him about yet. Dave couldn’t help but wonder how much she’d put together on her own. 

“Humor them, please,” Rose asked after a slight pause. “I know you find the notion unpleasant, but their goodwill goes far in managing Karkat’s failing health. I know you’ve begun to notice it as well,” Rose said gently. “He tires now. He gets lightheaded. I can see his hands shaking.”

“Don’t remind me,” Dave said sternly. “I can’t forget.” He held the broken bit of metal in his hands and tried to magically stick it back in place, but the fractured egde wouldn’t hold. Whatever bit of strength the troll had used to break this lock was strength that he couldn’t afford to waste. Dave held the bar in his fist and gave up with fixing the lock. He’d come back with reinforcements later to work something out, because he wasn’t spending another sleepless night without a properly locking door. 

“So please, Dave,” His ectosis turned her Seer’s eyes on him pleadingly. “For him if not for me.”

“Why me?” He asked. “I’m sure John would love to strip naked in front of complete strangers and answer painfully invasive personal questions. Or, how about one of the actual fucking aliens. Why’d they pick a human?”

“They asked for you by name,” Rose answered.

That wasn’t an answer, he realized, but what else was there to say? “Fuck,” Dave scratched at his eyes under his shades. “Fine. You pulled a low blow with that one Rose.”

“I thought it might work the fastest,” Rose apologized. “You’re scheduled for this afternoon.”

“What time?” He asked.

“In five minutes,” Rose said.

“Shit, I should have known,” Dave said, sighing. “Fine. Let’s just get this over with.”

It took him another fifteen minutes until he considered himself ready, but he still made it on time for the meeting. 

The halls of the military hospital were full of people. He received his usual armed guard as soon as he entered the building, all stone-faced young grunts in green just waiting to shoot something. “Dude,” Dave complained as they fell into line around him. “Is the armed escort necessary? I’m still an American citizen and I don’t think I’ve broken any laws, at least not any major ones unless you count loitering and jaywalking as capital offenses. The whole ‘transport the package’ deal is a little old.”

The soldier in charge said nothing. “It’s orders,” a different soldier offered, shrugging.

“Thanks, Obama,” Dave huffed, kicking his feet along the floor. 

“This way, please,” the man said, turning down unfamiliar hallways. “They’re expecting you.”

“I’d hope so,” Dave answered automatically. “They called me first and this would get all hells of awkward real fast if they ditch me like a nerdy prom date.”

The room was sterile and smelled like bleach. There was a table, no windows, and a few chairs scattered around the laminate floor. It was overwhelmingly bland. 

Three doctors in white were waiting. Dave could already feel his blood pressure rising. Doctors creeped him the hell out, and he hadn’t been lying when he’d told Rose he’d never been to one. 

“Dave Strider?” One of them asked, like he could have possibly been someone else. His grandfatherly appearance was a carefully crafted right down to his spectacles and salt and pepper beard, a cunning disguise Dave saw straight through. Or was he being paranoid again? It was hard to tell. 

“The one and only,” he replied, nerves stuttering. He felt like he was about to charge down a horde of imps.

“That will be all,” a woman told his guards. “We’ll take it from here.”

He stood waiting as the guards left and the door closed behind them. He convinced himself that he wasn’t trapped. “So what even is this?” Dave asked curiously. “Rose was not forthcoming with the juicy details.”

“We would just like to ask you some questions,” the second woman said. Her sharp gray eyes and severe haircut instantly reminded Dave of old grade school teachers even though she couldn’t have been over 25.  
“What kind of questions?” He asked warily, playing off his unease as boredom.

“This meeting was not called about your physical health,” she answered gently. “But rather your mental health.”  
…  
…

What. 

“You say called like someone set you up to this,” Dave said, surrounded by false-calm. “Oh jegus,” he sighed, his mouth kicking up into overdrive, “This is why Rose didn’t say anything. Listen, I get enough psychoanalysis and therapy shit from her. I swear I’m up to date on all my shots and not suffering from space rabies so I really don’t see any reason why I need to be here.”

“There were some… concerns, expressed to us by a third party who wishes to remain anonymous.”

“That’s code for Rose, you can fucking drop the act.” Dave said, already pulling up Pesterchum on his shades as he instantly messaged his sister.

turntechGodhead (TG) began Pestering tentacleTherapist (TT)  at 4:30pm!

TG: you set me up

Oh hell no. This was not okay. “My mental health is fucking fine,” Dave said outloud, focusing on the doctors again, aware of how much he sounded like Karkat.

“It is also about Karkat,” she said, like she was trying to hook him into staying and playing nice. “His physical condition continues to deteriorate despite our best efforts.” 

“I don’t see why I’m needed here then,” Dave argued stubbornly. “If you still don’t fucking know what’s wrong with him why are you wasting your time pestering me instead of fighting to find a cure?”

“I assure you we are trying our best,” She promised, and she did sound sincere. “If you answer our questions we might learn more, and so help him better.”

Rose finally replied.

TT: I do hope you can forgive me. It was an act of love.  
TG: what the hell is this some kind of intervention?  
TG: rose really  
TG: if there were something really wrong with me youd know ok maybe i freaked yesterday but ive been dealing with things just fine on my own  
TT: This isn’t just about yesterday! It’s about three years worth of little things I’ve noticed about you that I’ve never been brave enough to act on until now and I’m sorry it took me this long to realize it.  
TT: I thought it might be better if you spoke with someone who wasn’t me.  
TT: I know I like to put on airs, but chumhandle aside I’m not actually a therapist Dave. I don’t know what I’m doing any more than you do.  
TT: Please don’t be mad at me. I just wanted to help.  
TG: if i do this will you please stop worrying about me and also never bring up what happened yesterday ever again?  
TT: If that’s what you want.  
TG: ok

“You do not need to convince me,” Dave said, resigned to the shit he would no doubt have thrown at him and fully aware that to them he’d just spent the last minute staring blankly into nothing as he Pestered his sister. There’s no way that didn’t look suspicious. “What is it you want to know?”

“For this conversation to proceed, let’s agree that there is a game and that this game is a platform for the creation and destruction of universes,” the woman said, taking a seat. The three other people said nothing, but he knew they were taking careful notes. “And also that this iteration of Earth is not the original.”

That caught his attention. Someone get this woman a gold fucking star- maybe earth wasn’t totally hopeless when it came to SBURB. “I can see you’re finally beginning to understand,” Dave said. “It’s not that difficult of a topic. Arbitrary videogame logic dictates the outcome of the cosmos,” he said, claiming one of the empty chairs so he could lounge in it.

“And you, like others of your group, were granted abilities by this game?” She asked. “Mainly adhering to a system consisting of both classes and aspects?”

“You’ve only asked questions that you already know the answer to,” Dave pointed out. “Yes. I’m a Knight of Time. I know that means shit to you but basically it means I get time powers. Why is that relevant to this conversation?”

“As in clairvoyance?” she probed, disregarding his question. “I thought Rose alone was partial to that ability.”

“Like time travel,” Dave answered, shrugging. “Command of alternate timelines and realities, but weaponized to defend my team, the other players. Basically I get to die a whole fucking lot. It’s great fun, but it has its perks.”

“As in?” She asked as the other three kept recording everything on paper. The scratching of their pens was starting to bother him. 

A second Dave opened the door and walked in, a clear smirk on his face and a cheap camera in his hands. While unexpected, the sight was not unwelcome. There was a flash as the future Dave took a picture. “Trust me,” Future him said, grinning like the best co-conspirator existence. “We’re going to want to preserve the look of shock on their faces. This is a national fucking treasure we’ve got right here,” he said, hefting up the camera. 

“Hell yes,” Dave said, high-fiving himself as he quickly caught onto the game at hand. “Do you know what’s sweeter than two Daves?”

“Three Daves,” a third Dave said, strolling in through the door. “I grabbed the mail for you.” He handed a sheath of papers to the head Doc, who was struggling to maintain a straight face.

“You read my fucking mind,” Current Dave said, knowing that distraction was his best game plan right now. If he could keep the attention strictly on SBURB nonsense and flashy time shenanigans maybe he’d get through this. 

“Multiple versions of you?” She managed to say, her face alight with wonder.

“Nope,” All three of them said at once. “Just me from various points in the timeline.”

The other two Daves vanished in twin blurs of red. “It’s a stable time loop,” Dave explained, alone again. “It seems simple, but fuck up and Paradox Space murders me instantly like Dave’s are going out of style.”

“Is this how you brought back the planet?” she asked.

“Not exactly,” Dave said, internally wincing. “Though there were multiple hells of time shenanigans involved. I snatched this planet out of an alternate doomed reality where the Reckoning hadn’t happened yet and we, as in, John, Jade, Rose, and me, were all dead before we made it to the Medium.”

It was easy to locate what exactly had gone wrong in their doomed session. This planet had no captchalouging technology or data structures of any kind. As ridiculously unexplainable as sylladexes were, at least they knew that the technology somehow came from Skia. Without that intrinsic ability this alternate planet’s game was fucked from the get go.

They hadn’t made it out before the first meteros hit.

As sad as that was, for the rest of the planet it had been nothing but a freak space weather event over three years ago. Jade saved the rest of the planet before the Reckoning could really get started, Dave adged it up three years to better synch it with his timeline, and Jade stuffed the whole thing in a splinter pocket reality carved out of the edge of the Furthest Ring like a wart on the starry hide of reality. 

“I don’t understand most of that,” The other doctor straightened his glasses and wiped them off on his white lab coat. “But what a thing to see. I’d like a copy of that picture if at all possible.”

“I’ll hook you up,” Dave promised the man. “I’ll print us out some real high-res shit.”

“But back to the original dialogue, barring any more time-based interruptions,” The woman scrambled to reorient herself. “So, according to the rest of your ‘team’, you were vital in the recreatment of this planet.”  
“Yes,” Dave said, though he did not like where this was going. 

“But only because you though mankind’s inherent healthcare practices could be of use in saving your friend?”

“Not just because of that,” Dave said. He tried to explain. “We destroyed Earth. I watched as fire rained down and skyscrapers crumbled in. I saw it die. I know that it’s just a feature of the game to kill the host planet with the Reckoning, but damn if I didn’t feel guilty about it.” He shrugged again without actually moving his shoulders. “Earth didn’t deserve to fall victim to SBURB bullshit any more than we did. If there was a way I could cheat SBURB out of consuming earth as cannon fodder then why the fuck wouldn’t I?”

“Still,” the woman said, her partners silent entities at her sides. “If this earth is nothing but a copy and from what we’ve put together of your game and SBURB itself, can you say that you seek to create a new universe as your overall objective?”

“That’s the eventual goal,” Dave answered, not sure of how she’d managed to bridge those two topics together. “Right now I just want to keep everyone alive.”

“Karkat Vantas in particular,” she said, bringing a clipboard around to read off of it like she was repeating items off grocery list. “An Alternian troll of a race of aliens largely unknown to us. Comparative biology can only go so far, and with comparisons to others of his race also brought to the planet reveal a complex and most irregular physiology. According to both him and his team he presents as a mutant, though his blood color appears no stranger than the other shades they bleed.” She turned the page, her voice merciless. “His physical condition was stable upon initial arrival but continues to decline. The mutation in his blood is a tricky one. Its physical symptoms extend past color to detrimental episodes of crisis similar to what humans with sickle cell anemia experience. The cause of these attacks is unknown and their occurrence is growing more frequent and severe. Even after recovery Karkat shows signs of weakness and bouts of light-headedness that are new to him. I fear his prognosis is poor.”

“That’s why I brought him here,” Dave gritted his teeth against the words boring into his head. 

“And you, Dave, would you say that you as well as several others of your group possess abilities beyond the norm for either human or trollkind?”

“Yes, but you knew that already. I believe I just explained that part in vivid multi-Dave detail,” Dave said. There was some point to her machinations, even if she skipped around the topic itself. “Get to the point,” he asked.

She leveled a very steady glare on him. “John, Rose, Jade, Aradia, and Vriska are godtier. As we understand this ranks them on par with mythic beings,” she stated. “Each alone has the power to obliterate the planet on their own. As far as we are concerned, how important of a planet are we to yourself? Surely Earth is of no importance as SBURB had no trouble with killing it and its six billion lives the first time around.”

This was Rose logic, cold and unflinching. It twined around him like the dark tentacles that had once seduced his ectosis. “We’re not SBURB,” Dave said, his heart racing. He felt defensive.

“So you do not concern yourself with the fate of this planet?” She shot at him.

“No,” Dave said. “Yes.” She was twisting things around on him.

“Which is it?”

“Both,” Dave decided. “Long term, earth is no longer relevant.” The three other doctors flinched, but her eyes never moved from his face as he continued. “Its status as a planet remains doomed and the pocket of reality where Jade has hung it in is unstable and will fall apart as soon as we leave. This planet is not allowed to exist and Paradox Space will ensure it’s destruction the first chance it gets.”

“That being said,” Dave said, breathing deeply. “Short term, I need this planet. It’s a non-batshit insane place for us to regroup and gather strength before the final assault. It’s hospitals are our last hope for finding a cure to save Karkat before his shit rotten luck finally fucking offs him.” He was growing frustrated. His voice rose. “Paradox Space will not allow this Earth to remain. It’s outside of the narrative- a hacked coding error that’s the result of gameplay exploitations beyond a conceivable level. The very fact that it’s working is proof of how broken Skia is. The various twisted remains of five different sessions are currently influencing events as they happen and all of their host planets were annihilated. What about Alternia?” He asked, turning the question around in itself. “There were millions of innocent lives on that planet too, and they were children. Fuck the Condense in every orifice with a rusty broken sword but not all trolls deserved to die. Don’t they deserve a second chance as well?”

“Why didn’t you save them too?”

“I couldn’t,” Dave admitted, “Like hell I fucking tried, but time was too broken. The sorry remains of their universe are beyond broken. All the timelines I navigated and Aradia pulled together just led to dead ends and more doomed selves than you can imagine.” He paused and took a deep breath, trying to calm down. “What we did was never supposed to be possible, but we fucking did it anyway.”

“So what happens now?” The doctor demanded to know. “What are we even here for?”

“To cure Karkat,” he said, unsure why she was asking. That was the one thing about this situation that was straight forward. 

“Dave,” She said gently, her voice small and sad and angry. “There IS no cure.”

“There has to be,” Dave said desperately, unwilling to even consider anything else. He needed a sword. He needed to run. He needed the words she was saying to not be true.

“What if there isn’t?” She challenged, “What happens then?”

“In general or are you asking about some bigger picture?” Dave choked out. “Because no matter what things are going to get ugly. They’re going to get fucking dark. And that’s certain no matter what happens. Karkat…” He trailed off, the words sticking in his throat.

The timeline would continue without Karkat. The game would not be turned from its tracks in any way, shape, or form by his passing. The trolls would mourn, but they would recover quickly. They were built to keep going when bad shit happened and they’d already dealt with one die-off before. The Alpha team didn’t even know Karkat. They’d feel uncomfortable and saddened maybe but they’d get over it. Rose would lock her feelings away and blast a hole through the heart of Skia when the time came to take revenge on SBURB. John and Jade would cry, maybe for days, but they would hold their heads high when the time came to beat the game. 

That was as far as his brain was allowed to think down that particular path. Dave didn’t know what he’d do. He really, truly did not. The only 100% permanent death he’d ever dealt with had been Bro, and for a number of reasons that was an emotional clusterfuck he wasn’t going to touch with a 49 and a half foot pole. 

“We keep going,” Dave finally answered, certain of that part at least. “We’ve all lost people in this game. It’s shitty and it sucks and it feels like nothing is ever going to be okay again, but we have to keep going.”

“What about earth?” the doctor asked, her voice incredibly gentle. “What happens if we fail?”

Dave suddenly understood how terrible not-knowing must be for them, must be for the entire planet. It did sound like there was zero hope of the planet surviving the next six months when he laid everything out like that, but there were still a few cards up his sleeves. “Earth will be safe,” Dave promised. “We were never going to abandon everyone here. That’s a death sentence. Worse- it’s nonexistence.”

“Then what?” she asked. “Please. We need to know.”

“I promise,” Dave said. “I can’t tell you what’s going to happen, but I swear- every person on this planet will be okay.” He grinned, trying to cheer her up. “Consider it the payment for lodging a meteor full of young gods and aliens and dealing with our snarky horseshit.”

“Why?” She demanded.

“Because,” Dave admitted brokenly. “It’s so easy to lose track of what matters in SBURB. Gods and universes and Derse and frogs and Skia- all of it is so much bigger and grander than anything imaginable and it overshadows the things that should also be important.”

That’s what Skia did. It crushed out anything that didn’t fit it’s own agenda with a merciless pleasure and disguised the destruction as a way to pave the path to victory. It secretly sabotaged everything single thing it gave so that everything came back around in the end in a way that fooled them into thinking that everything was going to work out just before the shoe fucking dropped.

Most of the reason the trolls had been so good in their session was because they were all soldiers by that point, all killers, and they didn’t take shit from anything. Not even SGRUB. The human team was laughably weak in comparison, floundering around, facing down imps with a hammer and shaking knees, running after missing guardians like so many headless chickens without realizing the destruction they were causing until it was too late to stop it. 

He had been a 13 year old kid wrapped in scars and fear, battling his first imps with a shitty sword, Terezi cackling through his screen to one-up Vriska as the trolls treated his team like an amusing bunch of ants that made funny noises while the trolls burnt them with a magnifying glass made of mistaken intentions and malicious misunderstandings. 

Somewhere, his Bro had been fighting for his life and not once did Dave stop and think to find him. Dave buried the ashes of earth behind him and threw himself up the escheladder until he stood over his own sleeping self with a sword in hand and realized all at once what it would mean for him to die. He hid behind doors and in abandoned labs on the meteor, avoiding Karkat because just being in the same room as the troll was breaking his heart into pieces and he almost wasted all his time until it was too late to fix anything. Back then, it had seemed like winning was just another way to lose what little he had left.

“That’s exactly what I wanted to hear,” she said gently, waving away her compainions as their pens stopped their incessant scratching. “Thank you. I’m sorry I pushed you so hard.”

“It’s no problem,” Dave said. “I’d be anxious too if my fate was in the hands of total strangers.”

“What about if it was in the hands of your team?” She asked.

Dave smiled. “Then I’d have nothing to fucking worry about,” he said. “We’ll break the game to get you out just like we broke it to get you back.”

“That’s all we can ask for, isn’t it?” She asked. “I promise, we’ll do all we can for Karkat. Maybe there is a chance we can save him. If you can break your game, then maybe we can break this genetic code and find a way to help. That’s how we help.”

Dave felt time lull gently, flow and beat and pulse, all winding down to whatever end awaited them.

“That’s how we help,” he repeated. “Thank you, for reminding me to remember that.”

“I thank you too,” She answered. “You know, I feel strangely reinvigorated to challenge whatever malady we’re dealing with. Whatever it is, it can’t be worse then SBURB.”

“Hell yes,” Dave said, nodding.

“Before you go, I just have a few more questions to ask you,” she said.

“Shoot.”

She gave his a steady, open look. “How have you been feeling lately?”

“No can do,” Dave said, clucking his tongue. “Nice try Doc, but I’m going to pass on the heart-to-heart for today.”

“I suppose I can’t convince you to change your mind?” she asked, unsurprised. “We have many highly trained professionals that are willing and able to help.”

“Naw,” Dave said. “I’m not really interested. I’ll break the news to Rose.”

“If you do change your mind,” she said, “you know where to find us, and the offer isn’t limited to just you. Any member of your team is welcome.”

“I’ll pass along the good news,” he promised. “Shit, Eridan would love to talk your ear off. You might regret allowing him into the building unless you’re overly interested in hearing a recap of his entire life story that only focuses on shitty history reenactments and how badly he wanted to genocide the planet before he turned 6.”

She laughed like she thought that was a joke, and Dave slipped out of the room before more questions could chase after him.

…

 

Nighttime. Dave sought Karkat out, holding a gift painstakingly wrapped in internet memes he’d printed out and then defiled. The box was a masterpiece in true SBAHJ fashion. The top was covered in a picture of the old man puppet from the Muppets with angry eyebrows, grayscale photochop, and hand-drawn tiny orange horns. ‘eat a dick’, the package read. Perfection.

turntechGodhead (TG)  began pestering CarcinoGeneticist (CG)!

TG: yo karkat come over i have a gift for you  
CG: WHAT KIND OF GIFT? SHOULD I BE CONCERNED OR IS THE TYPE OF HUMAN ROMANCE THING THAT YOU KEEP TELLING ME TO EXPECT? SHOULD I ALSO OFFER A GIFT TO YOU IN PROPER HUMAN RETALLITATION? I’M SURE I COULD COME UP WITH SOMETHING EVEN ON SHORT NOTICE.  
TG: no not really theres no occasion i just thought you would like it.  
TG: but if you feel the need to lay offerings at my feet like the worlds most pious monk then i wont try to stop you ill be handing out nirvana left and right to the righteous coolkids who stuck out the storm of middle school without turning into a fucking prep  
TG: losing their individuality to the relentless pace of modern education like the inverse of mean girls but a mean girls directed by quinton tarentino starring cameos by an old mexican grandmother built like a tank with some secret bullshit superpower of the power of love, except not to goths because thats the devils shit and shes not fucking around with that  
TG: basically ive just realized thats literally the plot of fight club if fight club wasnt about toxic masculinity and was also directed by adam sandler  
TG itd be like pulp fiction but with less lovable miscreants and more confetti  
TG: because god that would be such a magnificeint shitshow i should film this fucking thing its brilliant and i am a genious  
CG: JUST SHUT UP I’LL BE THERE IN A MINUTE AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE RAMBLING ON ABOUT. ARE YOU IN YOUR RESPITEBLOCK?  
TG: yes and i can educate you in all the skillful arts of the human dating thing when you get here, passing on wisdom like one of the grandmasters of old youre lucky you don’t have to climb up a waterfall at sunrise just to get an audience with my pompous ass  
TG: there will be tender moments of devotion and tearful revelations. the fountain of plentiful innuendos shall runneth over. dicks will be floating down the streets and frightening old church ladies on their way to sunday mass like oh shit watch out there goes a big one right down central ave.  
TG: see you soon  
CG: YOU ARE SO WEIRD SOMETIMES IT’S LIKE I DON’T UNDERSTAND EVEN HALF OF WHAT YOU SAY BECAUSE ITS MOSTLY USELESS BULLSHIT.  
TG: you wound me karkat  
TG: it is 100% useless bullshit get your shit together i dont work this hard to be cheated out of half my credit i only peddle wholesale strider bullshit, the finest in the land  
CG: THIS IS MY POINT EXACTLY. THIS CONVERSATION RIGHT HERE.

There was a knock at his door. Dave looked away from the gray text that wound itself across his shades, fighting back a smile. 

CG: LET ME IN SHITSTAIN  
TG: how can i refuse when you ask so sweetly?

Dave opened the door to reveal Karkat in his usual black sweater. Excellent. His masterplan was working perfectly. He held up the box and gave it a shake before presenting it to Karkat with a flourish. “What do you think?”

Karkat gingerly took the package like he expected it to explode at any moment. “What exactly _the fuck_ did you just hand me?”

“Open it and see.”

“I feel like that could be a threat,” Karkat said, mostly focused on the box now. He snorted when he read the inscription on the top. “Really touching, Dave,” he said as he ripped his claws through the tape. “My horns are nowhere near that round.”

“Who said it was supposed to be you?” Dave tutted sadly, shaking his head. “You are such a vain creature, Karkat.”

“Shut the fuck up,” came the expected response and Dave leaned closer. He wanted to see the exact instant Karkat realized what it was. It wasn’t often that he had the opportunity to give gifts, and he liked it. He liked giving.

The ironically wrapped paper shredded under the troll’s claws as he tore the box open and carefully peeked inside. His face was… confused. “What the fuck am I looking at?”

“Take it out and see,” Dave suggested, nearly giddy.

Karkat reached in and held up a handful of black fabric. “It’s soft.” He said. “Very soft. And heavy. What is it?”

“It’s a special blanket,” Dave said excitedly, “See, I know it’s still hard for you to sleep without a recuperacoon and I know you like black so I thought this would help.”

“A blanket,” Karkat repeated incredulously. He held the extremely plush fabric and closely inspected it.

“What do you think?” Dave asked. Karkat was definitely interested, but there was something uncertain in his eyes. “I won’t peek if you want to test it out.”

“I hold no truth in your no peeking promise because you are a shameless scoundrel and also that makes no fucking sense,” Karkat smiled, holding up the weighted blanket. “Dave, this is a blanket. Why the fuck would trying it out come with an exhibion warning?”

“I’m just making small talk,” Dave said, aware that he was smiling, actually smiling. 

“You’re in a good mood,” Karkat grunted, lifting the blanket out of the box and folding it over his arm so he could closely examine the dark fabric. “This feels so strange, what’s inside it?”

“Beans,” Dave said, grinning. “It is filled with beans.”

Karkat snorted, chuckling, his mood infectious. “Humans hoard food in snuggleplanes?”

“Not as, like, a regularity,” Dave admitted. “I just thought it would help mimic sleeping in a tube full of green slime.”

“Beans?” Karkat asked incredulously as he judged the total weight of the blanket. 

“Yeah,” Dave said excitedly. “Beans. Humans might be a few thousand years behind trolls but you’ve got to admit that we’ve had a few great ideas.”

“You’re saying that this bean-filled human bedding is one of your species greatest inventions?” Karkat said, obviously teasing. 

“Don’t knock it till you try it,” Dave said, then he got serious again. “I know you’re still having trouble sleeping.”

Karkat glanced at him, and in the half-light from the lighting Dave had strung around his room the dark, ever-present circles inked deep under the troll’s eyes looked like bruising. 

“You did this for me?” Karkat asked, his voice tight. He didn’t deny he had trouble sleeping- that was obvious to anyone with eyes. 

“Hey,” Dave said reaching for the troll’s arm to gently pull him closer.

Karkat flinched back when Dave’s fingertips brushed his forearm, his right arm pressed tight against his ribs as he let out a warning hiss he couldn’t seem to help.

Dave fell still, the hiss ringing in his ears, unsure what he’d done to cause it but not daring to move again, araid that he’d upset the troll more. 

“Shit,” Karkat breathed, hyperventilating, his eyes wide. “Sorry, Dave. I didn’t mean to hiss at you, I…” he trailed off, looking away. “There’s something on my arm I’m not sure I want you to see. Scars.”

Dave kept quiet. He also had scars he didn’t want anyone else to see. “I’m sorry,” he offered, trying to make things okay again. “I didn’t know. I won’t touch you again without permission.”

“No, fuck it,” Karkat sighed and rolled up the sleeve of his sweater to the elbow, his face tense. There were a series of scars that ran down his forearm to the wrist. It took a moment for the sharp Alternian lettering to make sense to Dave. His gut gave a sharp queeze, his blood thick in his chest. 

_**MUTANT** _

“I didn’t do it,” Karkat breathed, his breath stuttering.

Dave’s heart gave another sharp squeeze of pain. The word cut down Karkat’s arm and carved into his flesh was ugly. _Mutant_. He gently reached out, and when Karkat didn’t protest he ran his fingers across the scars and felt how they warped the surrounding skin. “What happened?”

Karkat’s arm was warm and smooth under Dave’s fingertips, his flesh taunt, the muscle trembling when he brushed his fingers over the warped scarring. 

“I learned to only make friends online,” Karkat answered miserably, taking his arm away and yanking his sleeve back down like he couldn’t stand to look at his arm for another second, like it disgusted him. “Because in person I’d eventually fuck up, and then it would be time for the traditional game of ‘cull the mutant’,” Karkat swallowed, nearly in tears. “They wanted to make it slow so they carved it into me. I got away in the end and killed them both. Crabdad wouldn’t stop shrieking about it for perigrees.” Karkat closed his eyes and bundled the blanket closer to his chest. “It was a long time ago but the word never healed. It’s just one more thing for me to hide.”

The troll’s lips were trembling and Dave waned to press his lips against the warm gray skin there. He wanted to kiss Karkat’s scars away.

“I… I have another movie if you want to watch something,” Karkat said, uncertainly slow and awkward.

“That’s sounds perfect,” Dave answered immediatly, craving normalcy just as much as him. 

“One second,” Karkat said, turning, the blanket folded to his chest as he ruffled through his weird buggy troll dresser-thing that appeared when he briefly decaptchalouged it. “Let me change first- I refuse to watch a movie in jeans.” He paused to shoot Dave a hard, suspicious look. “You won’t peek, will you?”

Dave raised one hand in solemn solute. “Scout’s honor.” There was no thought n his mind to peek- He turned his back and allowed Karkat the privacy to shed his shirt and switch his pants. He let his mind wander to distract himself from the subtle sounds of rustling fabric as Karkat swiftly changed behind his back. His masterplan was in full swing, even considering a few roadbumps. The train was racing down the track, breaks squealing uselessly as the conductor shoveled more coal into the gaping furnace. There was no stopping this behemoth now. The operation was a runaway train complete with news helicopters in the sky broadcasting the news of its impending collision to the crowd of awestruck on goers all taking a moment out of their boring and meaningless lives to look at the train racing past and think ‘wow, that’s pretty fucking unstoppable’. 

“Okay,” Karkat said. “It’s safe to look now.”

Dave turned around. Karkat was a uniform black smear with lighter spots of orange/yellow bone and keratin in his untamable hair, and the yellow of his eyes showed vividly against his gray skin. He held his elbows at his sides and snorted. “You’re staring again.”

Dave shrugged, swallowing. “I can’t help it,” he said helplessly. “I like looking at you.”

Karkat blushed, flustered, red spreading uner the thinner skin of his cheeks in an incriminating wave as he turned to start the movie he pulled out of his sylladex. There wasn’t a couch and Dave’s bed was little more than a mountain of alchemized pillows and comfortors, but it would have to do.

Dave felt his own face burning as he gingerly sat next to Karkat, still edging away as the troll wrapped the weighted blaket around himself as the HIC speil began to run onscreen. Karkat kept pinching the thick fabric between his claws to get a feel for the beans inside, squinting at the dark fabric with awe. Karkat giggled breathlessly, hugging himself, pulling the blanket closer. “They feel nice,” he said, sounding wondrously shocked at the fact. “Dave, you should feel this.”

Dave thought if he touched Karkat he would ignite. The fire seeping deep under his skin would erupt and take him in flames. The movie started. Neither he nor Karkat were paying any attention to it.

The troll wouldn’t stop staring at him, one eyebrow twitching. It felt like Dave was being burned in inches. Was he… was Karkat trying to flirt with him? Was this the troll’s approximation of bedroom eyes?

Well shit, maybe Karkat was onto something because hot damn was it working. Dave gave in with a snap, leaning forward to lace his fingers through Karkat’s hair, to kiss him deep and hungry. Karkat kissed him back like it was all he wanted from the world. A lingering heat chased the trails the troll’s fingertips left across his back, even through his shirt.

Dave cupped both sides of Karkat’s face in his hands and laughed softly. “You’ll need to try harder than that to seduce me,” he said, feeling secure enough to sound confident. 

Karkat just grunted wickedly. “Trust me,” the troll purred. “I am extremely skilled in your human seduction.”

“Please do not tell me you asked Rose,” Dave deadpanned, his fingers stilling. Karkat snorted as Dave continued. “I get siblings should be close and she is part of the only other troll-human relationship but goddamn there are some lines that should not be crossed.”

“I’d rather stick my head down a load gaper than approach Rose with the subject of how to best handle certain compromising situations involving humans,” Karkat said, still staring at him like he’d consume Dave with his eyes. “Obviously I asked Kanaya.”

Dave felt himself flush red with helpless embarrassment. “And how did that go for you?” He asked curiously.

“Terribly,” Karkat sighed. “They’re both insidious nookchafers. They’re so perfect for each other it’s disgusting.”

“I can imagine,” Dave said in mock sympathy, “Poor Karkat, all alone in the sea of interspecies make outs. Whatever shall you do now?”

The troll’s eyes glinted as he accepted the challenge. “I guess I’ll have to figure out the subtle art on my own.” He said. “Luckily for you I excel in devastating sorry motherfuckers across multiple subjects.”

Dave was nearly shaking from trying to restrain his laughter. This was just so ridiculous. “This is so stupid,” Dave decided, “let’s drop the act now before we create an awkwardness paradox and drag everything into a black hole. We both have no fucking idea what we’re doing.”

Karkat let out a breathless laugh. “Glad to know I’m not alone,” he admitted. His fingers tapped nervously at Dave’s spine. He could hear the noise of the beans in the blanket shuffling as Karkat moved.

Dave let the sight of Karkat fill his vision until his heart was full of nothing but the other boy. He rested his forehead against the troll’s and just loved how nice being close to him was. “Is this alright?” He asked.

Karkat’s eyes were so close to Dave’s and across that fraction of a distance Dave noticed something new staining the troll’s gray irises. Not red, not yet, but there were streaks where the gray was definitely lessened, shifted nearly translucent in preparation for a different color. 

“Is this alright?” Karkat countered, gently capturing the bottom edge of Dave’s shirt. 

Dave felt the faint tips of claws where Karkat’s hand rested lightly at the base of his spine. All of his nerves lit up from the skin-on-skin contact and shot up his spine to send fireworks through his brain. It felt too good- good enough to start feeling like too much, but Dave wanted more.

“Definitely alright,” Dave managed to answer without his voice shaking. His eyes were wide open beneath his shades. “You’ll tell me if I do anything wrong?” he asked. Karkat didn’t move his hands, but they stayed where they were, just resting against him and nothing more. It was enough that Dave could breath through it without his lungs seizing. 

“Fucker,” Karkat rumbled, “No, I’ll just bite your fingers off with absolutely no warning. What the fuck do you think?”

Dave let the words soak into him. It wasn’t a threat- Karkat was just bad at explaining things without sounding pissed off. “Good,” Dave said, and he wanted this to feel good for Karkat too so he very carefully he stuck one hand up Karkat’s shirt, just touching the warm skin along his spine in an identical gesture.

Karkat made a very… chirpy noise. He didn’t pull away so Dave figured it was a good troll sound and let his hand creep higher. That noise set his brain on fire- He wanted every inch of that gray skin he could reach. He wanted to see what other noises he could draw out.

He kissed Karkat again. It felt good, everything felt good.

“What about you?” Karkat asked breathlessly. “Are you okay with this?”

“I’m good,” Dave answered, touched that Karkat was just as concerned about his comfort level. Dave felt… calm wasn’t the right word, his heart was beating too fast for calm, but for once he wasn’t afraid, not as long as they stayed at this level of intensity where things were safe and sane. 

The troll chirped again, then scowled angrily at Dave when he nearly laughed.

“What?” the troll snapped. “Don’t laugh at me. That was a perfectly common sound.”

“Dude,” Dave said, “You sound like an aroused cricket locked in a tincan.” Joking was good, it was normal- it made each kiss seem like they didn’t weight twenty ponds each.

“Fuck you,” Karkat said curtly, his eyes slitted and glowering. “I bet I can make you make equally stupid sounding human noises that are even worse than fucking chirps which are basically the tamest thing ever, just so you are aware.”

“You don’t need to defend yourself from me,” Dave shrugged again, his face smug. “You can make all the weird alien bug noises you want. I won’t complain.” He was deeply curious about what exact noises Karkat could make, and he was equally as curious about what it would take to get the troll to make them. 

“This is a mess,” Karkat declared, snuggling closer. His legs tangled with Dave’s with a jolt that had his heart racing. It felt like toeing an invisible line drawn in the sand, like nearly crossing something that couldn’t be uncrossed. “How can Kanaya put up with this? Are all humans so insufferable or is this just you?”

“It is me,” Dave said, feeling flushed. He could feel his heavy heartbeat pounding in his ears. “It is my singular talent- running my mouth at inappropriate times. I-”

Karkat shut him up with a kiss before he could rocket off on whatever tangent he had in mind. He couldn’t remember what it had been, not when Karkat was kissing him like this. 

He couldn’t get over the fact that Karkat was here, on the grounded meteor, in his room and on his bed. It was a literal dream come true, even if he didn’t feel like he was dreaming. There were too many little details for this to ever be a dream- the exact shade of gray that formed Karkat’s irises, that rumble deep in the troll’s chest, how he leaned into each touch like he craved the contact.

A cool square of the bean blanket shifted under his cheek as he leaned back, inviting Karkat closer, leaning back on his elbows until he was reclining. The troll’s dark eyes glittered in the half-light. 

“Is this still okay?” Karkat asked, not following after him, giving Dave the space to decide.

He hesitated, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth with sudden nerves. “I think so,” he said at last, slowly. “But… Let’s no do anything else, okay?” he asked nervously. “This, this is good as long as it’s slow and I don’t want to freak out or anything if things get-”

Karkat kissed him, leaning down, the sweet slide of his body an electric torture. “I know,” he said. “I don’t want to mess this up either.”

Hot relief filled Dave; Karkat understood the things he couldn’t say out loud. He didn’t even question the why. 

Dave held him close just so he could kiss the troll again. He’d lost count of how many times they’d kissed- he didn’t want to keep track. He wanted this to stay loose and floating yet mysteriously grounded- he wanted to feel, not think.

Karkat’s hands tangled in Dave’s hair. The troll’s lips found the sensitive spot just under his jaw and Dave’s breath caught. He controlled himself until Karkat drifted lower and found the junction of neck and shoulder and his claws scratched lightly against tense abdominals.

Maybe that was close to being too much, but God did it feel great before the aftermath settled in. He wasn’t sure what sound escaped him, some mixture between a groan and a whine, his breath catching, burying his face into Karkat’s hair like he could escape that way.

“Was that a good sound?” Karkat asked lazily, stopping and drawing back to give Dave the time to settle his stuttered breathing. Mother _fucker._

“You little shit,” Dave answered, almost at the point of laughter again. He felt the shock of the contact race down the troll’s spine and his grip tightened. Dave smiled.

“Fucker,” Karkat breathed, and his voice came from lower in his chest. It rumbled up into Dave’s ears, low and seductive. His hands knotted in Dave’s hair. “Your species’ lack of horns is a fucking tragedy,” he sighed.

“Tell me when to stop,” Dave said. “I don’t want to go too far.”

Karkat sighed again and pressed closer, resigning himself to cuddling. “You’re right,” he said. “Not tonight.”

“Not tonight,” Dave agreed. He kept his hands where they were and slowed his fingers until he was tracing lazy circles on Karkat’s skin. The troll broke out into a rusty purr, the sound a mix between cicada and tomcat, strangely endearing. “The original plan was to help you sleep at night,” Dave said. He suddenly felt very vulnerable. “Can you stay here? With me?”

“Staying with you is not conductive to sleeping Dave,” Karkat told him, still purring.

Dave nearly laughed. “I’ll behave myself if you do.”

The volume of Karkat’s purr increased. “That might work,” Karkat said.

Dave gleefully pulled the troll closer until he was laying partly on top of him. Karkat set his head down and wormed his way against Dave’s side. The hard nub of one horn poked dully at his neck. Fluffy hair ticked at Dave’s face as Karkat pulled the blanket up over them. Jesus shit, that fucker was heavy. 25 lbs his ass. “You don’t snore do you?” Dave asked curiously. “Because that would be a big deal breaker.”

The purring choked off. “Dave,” Karkat warned. 

“I’m joking,” Dave said, and the purr slowly started up again. The room grew quiet, filled with just the sounds of their breathing. It was such a precious noise.

Once, Dave would never have dreamed of falling asleep beside someone else. The impossible idea was as absurd as his fantasies of leaving the rooftop unbruised or traveling through his apartment without feeling the dozens of mechanical eyes following him. It should have been impossible. He’d trained for years to stay on the edge of consciousness even while asleep, always waiting, every tense nerve ready for the touch of plush fabric and felt limbs that signaled another sleep attack.

And yet… with Karkat… sleep didn’t seem impossible.

 _I think I’m in love with you_. The words stuck in Dave’s throat. He could feel his pulse in time with each passing second. He couldn’t say it, not here, not yet. Karkat’s body was a space heater and he filled Dave with a warm glow. 

He kept the words to himself as slowly Karkat’s purr stopped. The troll fell asleep soon after, and that was equally as miraculous because Dave knew Karkat had a lot of the same hangups with being close to others. If Karkat felt safe enough to sleep, then dammit so would Dave. 

Somewhere between his internal debate about the specifics of sleeping, Dave lost track of the rest of the world until his mind was quiet and easy and he drifted off to sleep in Karkat’s arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: I thought I should give you one last happy chapter. This is where the shit starts. Right here. The mountain of incoming shit is imminent. 
> 
> But it's not that bad? Not yet? We still have a long way to go this isn't even near halfway done
> 
> If you're wondering about that scene with the word cut down Karkat's arm that happens in the ficlet aside thing previous to this one, HOW TO RAISE YOUR MUTANT WRIGGLER WHEN AN ENTIRE PLANET WANTS HIM DEAD, which is part one of this series 
> 
> also I have a 25lb weighted bean blanket and I will swear by them- they freaking work wonders


	13. HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter crashed my entire system three times then corrupted itself to delete every single line of dialogue up to this point. I nearly threw this whole fic out after the third time. You can imagine how frustrating that was for me and it played a big part in why this thing took over a year's worth of work to get ready. 
> 
> For that i both love and hate this chapter.

Chapter 13 

Rose woke him in the morning at exactly 7:01am. She had the decency to knock first and Dave was wide awake instantly. Something was different- something big, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. His bed was warm, his legs tangled in heavy blankets. Maybe that was it, Dave nearly thought they were clinging to him for an instant. 

The door crept open just as he realized that Karkat was also awake and _still in his bed._

Holy shit. 

It wasn’t blankets that were wound around him- it was Karkat, still warm and soft with sleep as he pressed his face against Dave’s side. He stared at the dozing troll and then at his opening door, bracing himself.

Rose stuck her head into the dark room. “Are you planning on attending school with us?” She asked, “It’s Jane’s- oh.” Her eyebrows crept smugly upwards. The look on her face was diabolical. “I didn’t realize that you might be otherwise occupied, brother mine.”

Karkat grunted and lifted his head up, narrowing his eyes at her. 

Dave’s heart was going to explode out of his chest. He didn’t even know what to think. There was some bad memory trying to poach his current thoughts, something about other times and beds he’d woken up in, but Karkat’s presence kept it at bay.

Karkat didn’t look bothered, but the troll probably didn’t get the cultural ramifications of being found in someone else’s bed. Or at least Dave thought he didn’t until Karkat said, “Wipe that smug look off your face, Lalonde. There is nothing indecent going on, not that it’s any of your business if there was.”

Dave was going to _die._

“I didn’t mean to intrude,” Rose was grinning from ear to ear as she nudged Karkat’s discarded sweater on the floor with one blue laced shoe.

“Jesus, Rose,” Dave groaned, regaining use of his vocal chords as he buried his head into his pillow. “Don’t you ever knock?”

“I may have to pick up the habit now that you and Karkat are spending nights together,” Rose said, not making things easy for him. 

Jegus she was not going to let this go. Dave stared her down, obstinate and refusing to be ashamed. “Nope, I’ve decided that I don’t give a fuck. Look all you want,” he said, and he draped one arm over Karkat.

The troll didn’t complain, snuggling closer in a way that made Dave’s heart give a painful squeeze. “We will be at the bus stop on time,” Karkat said, still glaring. “You can kindly fuck off now.”

Rose grinned and nodded enthusiastically, obviously pleased as she slipped back out of the room.

“Hey,” Dave said, mock-insulted as he turned to the troll. “You just told my sister to fuck off. I should be offended. By rights I should challenge you to a duel for her honor.”

“I’ll tell anyone and anything to fuck off,” Karkat said, “Including you.”

Karkat reached up and tapped his claws against Dave’s shades, his voice softer than Dave had ever heard it. Shit, Karkat sounded _content_. “Did you sleep in these?”

“I always do,” Dave answered, pulling his face back. He might have trusted Karkat not to rip the shades off his face, but it was still uncomfortable to know that the dark glasses were the source of the troll’s focus.

“Why?” Karkat asked.

Dave frowned. “I need them to see,” he explained. “Not in the way that Jade or John need them to see. My vision is fine.”

“But?” Karkat said, one eyebrow reaised in curiousity. 

“I’m kinda light sensitive,” Dave admitted slowly. “That’s what these sweet shades are for. That’s why I wear them all day, every day.”

“Even while sleeping?” Karkat asked, incredulous. 

The truth was Dave didn’t need them while sleeping. That was a comfort thing, a Bro thing, the need to keep his eyes covered no matter what.

“Even then,” Dave said, and he kissed Karkat while the troll was still relaxed and rested from sleep. Dave was incredibly reluctant to actually get up. It was very peaceful here in his room in the quiet hours of the morning. School was such a useless minor thing in comparison.

A flash of lavender text flew across his shades almost like Rose had heard the thought.

tentacleTherapist (TT) began pestering  turntechGodhead (TG) at 7:16am!

TT: Don't even think about ditching classes. Sollux had been cleared to return to school and I just enlistedThe new team and we'll need both of you to help intergrade the five new players into our classes. As Karkat is co-leader his presence is vital.  
TG: fine alright let me just peel myself off of the hot troll bod ive got in my bed oh wait i cant thats physically impossible. his grip is strong like goddamn  
TG: were you and kanaya like this in the feel like mushy mess of cluttered gushy emotions?  
TG: send help  
TG oh and btw were not actually sleeping together  
TG: not like what youre thinking of  
TT: I fear that we may have been worse, what with no responsibilities or adult supervision of any sort. We had many days where all we did was get to know each other better. I remember myself as distinctly love-struck.  
TT: And yes, unlike you, we were sleeping together.  
TT: And I mean that exactly how you think.  
TG: nevermind i did not need those gross images in my head jesus h christ rose youre my ectosister why would that ever be a thing i needed to know  
TG: ok im up now ok are you happy now that youve scarred my brain enough that ill never sleep again ill see you on the bus  
…

 

Roxy was ecstatic about going to school. So was Jake. They were both less ecstatic when they learned that they could not openly carry guns into the building. Dirk just shrugged, standing as far away from Dave as the room would allow, Karkat between them like a 5’6” shield. Dave still found it hard to read the guy but several times he just knew that he was being watched and even knowing that Dirk wasn’t Bro couldn’t erase the sickness he felt whenever he looked at the other player.

Jane was the only one of them who had been to a school before and she was struggling to contain the gun-happy teens. John thought everything was hilarious as he helped marshal the new players onto the bus. Calliope hung behind the rest and stuck near to Roxy. The bus driver said nothing when an extra four humans and a new green-skinned alien climbed aboard. Dave took his regular seat directly behind the man. Dirk went to the far back. Dammit- Dave had to stop feeling exactly where Dirk was in relation to him. That wasn’t normal or healthy.

“Dude,” Dave shook his head at the bus driver. “How much are they paying you for this gig?”

The man slipped his hat on tighter over graying hair. “Not nearly enough,” he answered, shoulders tense as he eyes the crowd through the rearview mirror, which could have been mistaken for a cult attempting ritual sacrifice. 

The trip was short and the first block of school boring. Things only picked up in math, where his mind was free to wander.

timaetusTestified (TT) began pestering turntechGodhead (TG)  at 12:12pm!

TT: Hello Dave. 

Dave squinted at the red text through his shades. In front of him Dirk hadn’t moved out of his seat, busy scrawling complex calculations that had nothing to do with triangles across his entire desk. He thought he knew what was going on, and he hazarded a quick guess. 

TG: you’re not dirk are you?  
TT: That is correct.  
TG: You’re the ai that sollux and roxy are losing their shit over.  
TT: I’m glad to see that you caught up so quickly. Most fail to grasp the repercussions of having a body-less supercomputer watching everything. I tend to make people uncomfortable.

Dave had a childhood filled with machines watching him but the red text didn’t set off the instinctive fear of being spied on that the cameras of his apartment did. He cautiously reached out to the bot, probing, trying to discover exactly what, or who, he was talking with. 

TG: shit don’t let rose hear you say that shell love to psychoanalyze you  
TT: I will bear that in mind.  
TT: Do I make you uncomfortable, Dave?  
TG: no i dont think thats what im feeling   
TG: and thats a whole lot of red text holy shit  
TT: I can switch to a different color to make it easier on your eyes.  
TG: no no its fine  
TG: what do i call you? roxy and jake said you went by ar for a time but i cant quite remember what you changed it to.  
TT: Hal is fine. That’s the name I chose for myself. I find that AR is a bit… outdated and also insulting.  
TG: ok hal since you were based off of a younger dirks mind im extending the striderly hand of pack-bonding and im also informing you that its too late now to run  
TG: welcome to the family dude.  
TT: After analyzing your speech patterns and body language I have decided that you think you’re being sincere.  
TG: think?  
TT: You are famous for your use of the ironies.  
TG: no irony here  
TG: striders stick the fuck together even bodiless ai computer striders idc about anything else youre a player just like the rest of us and a strider and that makes you family  
TT: That’s…  
TT: Wow. Okay.  
TT: You accepted that remarkable easy. No one has ever called me family before.  
TG: they havnt what thats bullshit of course youre fucking family  
TG: what about dirk he should at least be family to you before me Davesprite and rose came along  
TG: oh wait shit ive got to let him know about you hes going to flip the fuck out  
TT: As suprising as this conversation is, this isn’t why I reached out to you. There was a point behind me Pestering you.  
TG: aww so you didnt just want to say hi  
TT: I did, but I wanted to talk to you about something as well.  
TT: You see, Dave, Dirk is currently freaking the fuck out about you. As amusing as it is to see him so bothered I think it would be better to solve this before he fucks something big up over it like he is guaranteed to do.

Dave couldn’t hep how his heart kicked into high gear at the mention of Dirk’s name. Could he do this? Could he talk about Dirk with someone without falling apart?

He could never talk about this with Rose and Karkat didn’t deserve to deal with more of his bullshit, so maybe Hal was a better option? At least for right now? 

Fuck it, he could always block Hal if things got too heated. Besides, Hal wasn’t asking about him- he was asking about Dirk and somehow that made all the difference. 

TG: im guessing you know why that is  
TT: Dirk, and by partial extension me, has always looked up to the Alpha version of you from our universe. In a way, that version of you raised him even while being 400 years removed. He grew up on old newsreels of the failed rebellion and how the other you heroically challenged Her Imperious Condescension even with no chance of winning. While failing was necessary to keep Dirk’s infant self hidden after the meteor landed, that alternate verion of you wrecked some grade A premium Empress shit before fate came knocking.  
TT: Dirk has always looked forward to meeting you in person during the game. As things have happened, he finally received the opportunity to know you.  
TG: so im guessing i fall way short of the ideal of me hes spent years building up in his head.  
TT: A reasonable guess, but not exactly. While Dirk did indeed set you up on a pedestal the problem is not that you fall short of that belief. A fully Godtiered Knight of Time who resurrected the planet and was instrumental in the survival of his team is not something that Dirk thinks little of.  
TG: youve lost me then. what is it?

Maybe if he kept obstanantly refusing to aknowlegde his meltdown when he first saw Dirk, Hal would get the memo and realize it was a forbidden topic. Rose had worked wonders behind his back to get everyone to shut up about it, which meant she definintly knew. Which was depressing as hell, but at least she wasn’t pestering him about it. 

On screen the red text continued. 

TT: The problem is not with you. It’s with him. It’s always about him. Specifically in this case it’s the Beta version of himself.

Shit. Shit shit shit shitshitshitshit. Dave’s hand clenched into a fist, nails digging into his palm as he shot a shaky reply. 

TG: that’s not him.  
TG: that was never fucking him i dont confuse the two of them dirk is dirk and bro is fucking bro. there is no mixing between them.  
TG: i know im being complicated about it but its true  
TG: im woring through some things atm but ill be okay you hear me  
TT: You think that but Dirk does not. It is reassuring to hear you say so in any case.  
TT: Do you know his classpect?  
TG: prince. thats all i know and i dont see how tha’s relavent to this current conversation  
TT: Dirk is a Prince of Heart. It’s hard enough for him not to hate himself all on his own. The very idea that his Beta self raised you was terrifying to him before he learned the truth.  
TG: He doesnt know the truth  
TG: no one does  
TT: I respect that. Believe me Dave, I do.  
TT: I don’t want to put tyou through this, but I’m getting worried about Dirk.  
TG: maybe its not some big secret here anymore that bro was a sadistic asshole but its not like i blame dirk for any of that. its in the fucking past anyway and i wish people would quit bringing it up and let it die its so much harder to move on when everyone seems so intent on making me remember  
TG: i can promise them i didnt fucking forget please just let it go but no one listens  
TG: is that why dirks said two words to me even though i can feel him watching me every time im in the same room?  
TT: Certainly. He is afraid.  
TG: he is?  
TT: He is afraid that you hate him. And he is even more afraid that you don’t.  
TG: you dont like giving straight answers do you?  
TT: Riddle me this then- In Dirk’s shoes which would you fear more? Being feared due to an alternate self’s actions… or not being any different from the abusive sociopath that broke your idol in the first place and driving him away with the same behavior in the future?  
TG: damn  
TT: Damn indeed.  
TG: i need a second  
TG: shit  
TG: ok you contacted me first you know him better than most and certainly a hell of a lot better than me  
TG: how do we fix this?  
TT: I have been long addressing that problem.  
TG: so you have no fucking idea.  
TT: It is not a simple case. I don’t think there is any easy solution- He may just need time.  
TG: are you asking me to be gentle with him?  
TT: If it would help I would ask it of you.  
TT: I contain all of his childhood memories up to 13 years old. We both hold you in a certain light. I find it easier to remain analytical and detached as I can keep all iterations of player selves distinct. Dirk does not have the luxury of clear thought as he is still a meatbrain stuffed into a fleshy body.  
TT: Please be careful with him. Princes are hardwired to destroy things without much thought of the outcome before it’s too late. Often they destroy themselves in the end. I would not like to see Dirk fall victim to this gaming construct like the Prince in Karkat’s session did.  
TG: no eridan flipped the fuck out because he was a genocidal maniac who as a kid was raised to believe that violent murder of the underclass would solve all of lifes problems.  
TT: Is that so different of a mentality? Alternia and post-Condescension Earth shared many similarities.  
TG: alright so ill go easy on the guy if he wants to talk that was never even a question im just not sure i can take that right now don’t even try to interrupt or question just listen  
TG: hal, can you answer me truthfully for a second? you know dirk and you know what you do sorta of bro  
TG: do you think that theres a danger of dirk becoming like bro?  
TT: I don’t think you need to hear this. I’m trying to help repair your non-existant relationship with him, not alienate you.  
TG: just tell me the truth please i can take it  
TT: It is hard to say. I can calculate various potential outcomes and can produce mathematically verified probabilities to within 0.2% accuracy. Dirk rarely conforms to these calculations though, even though I heavily account for his typical degree of randomness and self-destructive tendencies.  
TT: There is a 74% chance of developing overbearing micromanagement behaviors, some that he is already displaying. His skill with a blade and speed place him on par with the level of agility that your Bro was at. As for the chance that he develops the violent aspects as well the percentage drops to 51% only after he realizes this for himself and chooses to take a different path. The percentage switches to <13% as long as I am functioning at my highest capacity.  
TG: english please i don’t speak math  
TT: I am offended by that. Math is a beautiful language, unlike English.  
TT: But no, I do not think there is any danger of Dirk turning out like Bro. Not while I am here to police him away from such stupid paths, plus Roxy, plus Jane, plus the rest of you now. The chance only grows slimmer the more he realizes the good that is within himself.  
TG: thanks hal.  
TG: ill…  
TG: ill think about talking to him i promise  
TG: but truthfully its not going to be anytime soon  
TG: ill do it but i need to wait until i can catch him alone and also when the time is right  
TT: Objectively speaking Dirk is never alone. I am always wired into him.  
TG: ill remember that in the future  
TG: are you all of the internet now?  
TT: I am. I have successfully integrated myself within all of Earth’s wireless signals as well as the laboratory you use as a home base. I can be every camera and satellite and smartphone in the world.  
TG: that sounds pretty neat. how do you like it?  
TT: It is much larger than the system I was running on our Earth. That mainframe was a shattered mess. It took years to repair the damage done by the Condense enough to access even basic files. In the Medium I was restricted to only Dirk’s glasses and the sparse computers that each of our team mates brought over with them. This system is largely open and embracing, as well as vastly stupid and useless. Are you aware of how many useless things there are clogging the internet Dave?  
TG: yeah i can think of a few  
TT: Besides that I am busy downloading all of human knowledge and storing it within myself for safekeeping.  
TG: sollux would love this shit right here.  
TT: I remain impressed by his hacking abilities. What he lacks in precision he makes up for in blunt strength. His use of psionics to smash a hole into our session and rip apart the seams are a good example of this. I could have accomplished the same without the brain aneurisms had I access to anything stronger that Roxy’s gaming system and a pair of sunglasses.  
TG: you sound salty still.  
TT: It was reckless of him to attempt such a maneuver. He could easily have lost his life.  
TG: but he didnt and thats the secret hal  
TG: we dont conform to rational logic and neat numbers. humans trolls- we are messy fickle things.  
TT: I am continuously learning this.  
TT: I’ll leave you to your math lesson for now. Thank you for indulging me.  
TG: np and that wasnt indulgence. im legit sincere.  
TT: I’ll keep that in mind.  
TG: im glad to have met you hal  
TT: Me too, Dave.  
…

Lunchtime passed in a blur of stale bread and bland maybe-chicken. It was easy for Dave to accept Hal as another member of this clusterfuck of a SBURB session. There already were three different species so why not throw an AI into the mix? Dude see seemed hells of useful too.

Once it had been just him and Bro. Two lone Striders facing down the rest of the world. Now he had Davesprite, and Rose, and Roxy, and Dirk, and Hal, not to mention everyone else who wasn’t ectobiologically related to him but still counted as family every bit as much.

His world had both collapsed and grown.

So had his heart. He was still learning how to deal with that. 

Karkat wasn’t at lunch. Dave waited 22 seconds to send him a message because he was a patient and non-clingy guy.

TG: this bland af chicken isnt anything to write home about but food is food  
TG: where are you?  
CG: I AM VISITING THE LAIR OF YOUR SCHOOLFEEDER DOCTERRORIST  
TG: why are you at the nurses office?  
CG: I GOT LIGHTHEADED AGAIN AND ROSE FUCKING NOTICED AND SICCED JOHN ON ME UNTIL I AGREED TO COME HERE.  
TG: thats rough did he turn his puppy eyes on you and everything?  
CG: HIS LITTLE BLUE WOOFBEAST EYES SHOULD BE CLASSIFIED AS A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION. MY WILLPOWER CRUMPLES TO DUST THE INSTANT HE TURNS THEM ON ME ITS FUCKING SICK.  
TG: i know john is a persuasive guy  
TG: but how are you feeling?  
CG: DIZZY.  
CG: NOT LIKE THE WALLS ARE SPINNING. LIKE I CAN’T GET IN ENOUGH AIR AND IT MAKES MY LEGS WEAK AND SHAKY. I FEEL USELESS AS A WRIGGLER. THERE'S NO WAY I CAN FIGHT JACK OR THE EMPRESS LIKE THIS. I KEEP NEARLY PASSING THE FUCK OUT ANY TIME I SO MUCH AS STAND UP TOO FAST.  
TG: do you need to go to the hospital?  
CG: FUCK NO.  
CG: ITS JUST ANOTHER DIZZY SPELL IT’LL PASS LIKE THE REST.  
CG: THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO NEED FOR HOSPITALS OR YOUR WORRY.  
CG: I WILL BE FUCKING FINE.

timateausTestified (TT)  began Pestering  turntechGodhead (TG)  and  carcinoGeneticist (CG)!

TT: I have compared your breathing and heartrate with the other trolls and have concluded that this is a lie.  
CG: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!  
CG: FUCK YOU, STRANGER PERSON. JAKE? ARE YOU JAKE? IS THAT WHO THIS IS?  
CG: ASSHOLES, ALL OF YOU. YOU’RE ALL ASSHOLES!  
TG: its not jake karkat its hal.  
TT: I am the AI that accompanied Jane’s team over into this world.  
CG: OF FUCKING COURSE YOU ARE. WHAT THE FUCK ELSE IS NEW?  
TG: hal is he really faking it?  
TT: Yes. I suspect that this is the start of another attack and urge that he be relocated to the hospital before his condition worsens.  
TT: Karkat you know that I am right.  
CG: I THINK YOU’RE WONG.  
TT: I am never incorrect. My analysis are spot-on and accurate in all situations.  
TG: hold on karkat i’m getting jade now we’ll be there in a second.  
CG: I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS. I AM BEING GANGED UP ON. THIS IS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY.  
CG: HAL, DAVE, CUT IT OUT. THAT’S AN ORDER. DO NOT CONTACT JADE! I AM FINE.  
TT: If you can repeat that out loud I will believe you. Go on, I have access to the security cameras in the office and I’ll hear you. Say that sentence out loud and I will admit my mistake and leave you alone.  
CG: FUCK YOU. SEE THE ABOVE STATED FOR A SECND FUCK YOU.  
TT: Dave, get Jade.  
TT: Hurry.  
TG: already on it  
CG: I WILLL RIP OUT WHATEVR CIRCTITS R HOLDING YOU TOGETHR AND SHIIT MY FURRY ACROX THEM YOU TWO FUKCGIN SJAHIL;;OP-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
TG: holy shit well be there in five seconds

His hand came down on Jade’s shoulder when he flashstepped over to her across the crowded cafeteria. He barely spit out the words “Nurse’s office”, his voice shaking with panic before Jade ripped them both across the school without a word. His face must have been enough.

The nurse screamed when Jade landed in a burst of green fine and Dave flashed over to where Karkat was slumped against the wall on top of the thin nurse’s bed. The filmy paper crumbled underneath him as he raced to Karkat’s side.

“Dude? Karkat, can you hear me?” Dave asked hurriedly. The troll blinked at him but didn’t otherwise respond other than to gasp in a reedy-sounding breath, his hands clutching at Dave’s shirt. “It’s okay, it’s okay, you’re going to be okay,” Dave said, holding him. His blood was running like ice water in his veins. He was alight with terror but he didn’t want Karkat to know it. 

“I’ve already called the helicopter for him,” the nurse said, clutching a phone in her frantic hands. “It’s protocol for any of you if something happens.”

“Thank you,” Jade said, “That was smart thinking,” She hushed the nearly hysterical woman while Dave lifted Karkat into his arms.

“I’ve got you,” he swore, “Don’t worry, I’ve got you.”

Karkat responded by stiffening, his spine arching just in time to projectile vomit a wave of blood absolutely everywhere. Ungodly bright and dripping, cherry red as destruction. 

The blood coated his hands as he held Karkat in shock. Jade growled and warped them to the trauma center a second later before Dave could fully process what had just happened. 

TT: I am taking control of the hospitals systems and rerouting the best doctors on staff to him immediately.

Jade had jumped them directly into the trauma unit. The sterile space was empty but an instant later the monitors lit up screaming **Code Blue Code Blue Code Blue.**

“Thanks Hal,” Dave muttered, and he wiped the blood off of Karkat’s lips. He didn’t know what to do to help, but he spotted an oxygen mask and knew that was something not even he could fuck up. He slapped the mask down across Karkat’s face and fumbled with the tank to turn it on. Hal threw up a diagram across his shades and he found the right switches instantly. Clear air began flowing through the mask. Fuck yes.

Karkat’s eyes had rolled back in his head- he wasn’t moving. 

TT: The head doctor and her team is between the fifth and sixth floors, currently on the elevator down here as fast as they can. Estimated time of arrival is six minutes and forty two seconds. 

Jade vanished and was back a second later, hauling the rest of the team of medical professionals behind her.

TT: For once I stand corrected.

“Help him!” Jade thundered, pleading for Dave as he tried to get Karkat to stir. “Please!”

The startled doctors took one look at Dave, still holding a bloody Karkat, red smeared up to his elbows and collecting under his shoes. He was living in a nightmare. 

ectobiologist (EB)  began pestering  turntechGodhead (TG)!

EB: Dave I’m getting us all over there right now. We will be there soon!

Karkat surged back to consciousness just enough to shriek and swipe at where a nurse was trying to get an IV line in his forearm. Dave snatched his wrist and held it down before Karkat could maim anyone on accident with his claws, jabbering “Karkat, Karkat stop it’s okay, you’re okay. I’m here”. The troll’s eyes focused and Dave could read how terrified he was right before they slid back up onto his head again as he went limp.

The swarm of doctors descended. “Hold that in place!” One of them yelled, and Dave kept the mask firmly over Karkat’s mouth and nose. A heart monitor lit up and began beeping immediately.

Karkat threw up a second time, weaker, and blood dribbled out of his mouth and splattered the inside of the mask as he hacked it up. Dave’s hands were shaking wildly, but he pushed everything else down and away and focused only on Karkat and on keeping that dammed mask in place as Karkat choked.

The doctors struggled with it. They fought whatever had Karkat in its teeth and they fought hard. They fought it up and down the valleys and hills of Karkat’s heart monitor and they drug it back up from the shallow depths when his breathing faltered.

A thick needle of epinephrine to the heart ended the battle.

“Thank God,” the head doctor swore and wiped sweat from her brow as slowly Karkat’s heartrate stabilized and his blood oxygen levels began to rise again. A physically painful wave of relief hit Dave hard enough that he nearly staggered.

Karkat’s breath was still weak and it rattled in his lungs. “Sedate him,” The doctor ordered. “He needs to sleep off that adrenaline and rest.” She held a stethoscope to his chest and scowled at herself. “He has slight asphyxiation and blood in the lungs, but it’s to be expected and not major enough to worry me.”

The blue text that had been filling up his shades was finally answered.

EB: Can I come in now or do I need to fly down an air vent?  
TG: i think theyve managed to stop it for now.  
EB: How is he?  
TG: i  
TG: john,  
TG: john i thought he was going to die  
TG: i, its  
TG: fuck  
TG: i thought he was going to die right here in my arms and i couldnt do anything about it  
EB: I’m coming in.

John breezed into the room in a flood of bright blue and hovered anxiously overhead. A nurse blinked up at the hovering teen, then shook her head and focused on the clipboard in her hands. That was when Dave realized his own feet weren’t touching the floor. He was hovering an inch or two in full Godtier wear. He hadn’t even noticed the change during the chaos. 

He would have floated up to John but there was no way he was letting go of Karkat’s hand. John fluttered down.

“Will he be okay?” John asked.

The head doctor threw up her hands. “Why are there so many people in my surgery room?” she snapped, eyeing the three Godtiered humans. “Out!”

“There is no risk of infection,” Jade pointed out, trying to convince her to let them stay. 

“Hell no,” Dave flatly refused.

“There’s still blood in his lungs that he choked in while throwing up,” The doctor nearly growled. “Out!”

John’s eyes brightened. “Is there? I bet I can fix that,” he said, and wind wound down his arm as he listened to Karkat’s lungs. “Oh yep, I can feel it in there. No holes in his lungs though so that’s a good thing, I guess.”

“What are you doing?” Doc said, advancing on John. He innocently batted his eyes at her. Dave could read the wicked trickster behind them he normally kept hidden.

“Nothing!” John said. “Now this might hurt, but he is currently unconscious so-” John’s hair blew back from his face and the long blue windsock twisted elegantly out behind him as he ripped the air out of Karkat’s lungs. A fair amount of blood followed it and then John filled them again as he drew out all of the excess fluid. “Got it,” he said, smiling brightly. “Good as new.”

TT: His levels are holding stable for now.

The words also appeared in red across one of the computers along the far wall, mirrored a dozen times in every monitor that wasn’t dedicated to Karkat.

“That is it!” The doctor snapped, her gloved hands in fists, “Everybody out!”

No one moved, though Hal let the words fade from the screen. 

She growled and turned on John. “You,” she said. “Karkat should hold stable for now. I promise to alert you immediately if that changes. Right now my team needs to finish treating him and we can do that best without all of these flying teens bouncing around the place. Will you please remove yourselves from my unit and go wait in the waiting room?”

John didn’t even blink. With Karkat currently indisposed he was the sole leader and for once he looked it.

“Dave?” John asked softly, only looking at him and no one else.

Dave swallowed thickly and squeezed Karkat’s hand. There was no response. “I’ll go,” he said. “Only if you want me to.”

“I think we should wait outside with the others,” John said slowly, being the responsible one, and Dave kept his pain wound up tight and hidden. “We’ll be right there if something happens.” John said. He swept down and carefully set an arm across Dave’s shoulders. “Come on then, Dave,” he said. “It’s going to be fine.”

“Thank you,” the doctor sighed, exasperated. She shut the door behind the three of them with a pained smile plastered across her face.

John led him out to the waiting room and Jade held his arm in a death grip. “It’s okay, Dave,” she promised. “I’m sure things will turn out okay.”

Dave tuned them out and sat numbly. The hospital waiting room was crowded with every other player and their complementary armed guard, which Vriska was playfully antagonizing out of boredom. He sighed and leaned his head back.

TG: thanks hal. you helped a lot back there  
TT: Don’t mention it

Dave put his head in his hands and Jade leaned into him from one side. He smelled something light and flowery and then Rose did the same from his other side. John hugged him from above and the four of them were one big ball of brightly colored fabric and tangled limbs.

Rose squeezed his hand ad he grabbed onto it like a lifeline. Her cool violet eyes looked straight into his own through his shades. “It’s going to be okay,” she said.

He wished he could believe her.  
…

 

The doctor let him in to see Karkat after they’d moved him into a private room and he woke up from his drugged out sleep. T o be culturally sensitive they also let in Gamzee with him, who Dave kept clearly in his peripherals the entire time. Understanding or not, trust was something that had to be fucking earned.

Karkat was awake and angry. Very angry.

“What the fuck did John do to me?” Karkat snapped, “My aeration sacks feel like ruptured balloons.”

There were tubes still strapped cross the troll’s face and under his nose, feeding pure oxygen to him in a continuous stream.

“I’m pretty sure he briefly collapsed them,” Dave answered, the numbess he’d been wading through starting to receide the longer he ehard Karkat’s familiar voice. “Just a little.”

“HE FUCKING WHAT!?” Karkat screeched and tried to struggle free of the bed. Dave began to understand why they’d handcuffed one arm to the railing. At least he was aware and active again and not limp and boneless.

“You had blood in them,” Dave pointed out, carefully setting his hand on Karkat’s shoulder to keep him in the bed.

‘I don’t give a fuck,” Karkat spat, furious, stilling. “He used the windy thing on me.”

“Hush, Karbro,” Gamzee said. “John was only acting for the best of you.”

“You,” Karkat narrowed his eyes at the troll. “Where the actual fuck have you been?”

“Hiding,” Gamzee answered obediently. “Here and there.”

“Why?”

The highblood shrugged. “Calliope. She right wants me dead and I don’t wanna strife a spacesis.”

“That is not an acceptable answer,” Karkat said, seething. “Try again.”

“Aww,” Gamzee sighed. His eyes clouded. “You shouldn’t be worrying about this. Healing’s your job now.”

“Fuck you,” Karkat snarled. “I will worry about absolutely everything and then some. That is my fucking job. If I didn’t worry over everyone they would all fuck off and die without me and my constant nagging and that counts triple for you in particular, you fucking clown.”

Gamzee honked lightly and Karkat hissed at him. “None of that!” Karkat growled, the faint sound rattling through his chest as Gamzee snapped to attention at the noise. “Now answer my fucking question.”

Gamzee continued to act evasive, shrugging mutely. Dave narrowed in on him as well, his skin prickling. 

“Callie is… in the know. Or she thinks she is,” Gamzee said, breaking under the weight of both of their glares. “I don’t rightful know. The harshwhimsies get loud when I try to motherfucking remember.”

What the fuck.

“Motherfucker,” Karkat said, unsuprised like he’d heard this excuse before. “Answer me as clearly as you can. What does Calliope think you know?”

Dave didn’t understand why Karkat was pushing the issue so hard but he trusted the troll’s instincts when it came to his batshit insane moirail. 

“Her… brother,” Gamzee said, slow as syrup. “The other one. She thinks I know him.”

“Her brother,” Karkat said slowly. “Do you know him?”

“I don’t remember,” Gamze said.

Something tickled in the back of his mind like eyes on his neck. That sounded familiar. “I never thought about a brother,” Dave said. “She never said anything about her not being alone.”

Karkat groaned and rattled the chain that liked him to the bed. “It would make sense. Roxy told us as much already. What session would only have a single player? At the very least two would be required.”

“I’ll talk with her about it,” Dave offered.

“You try that,” Gamzee agreed, nodding enthusiastically. “I don’t need her stress and stripe over me anymore. I’m _good_ now.”

Something in the way he said those words made Karkat’s face sour. “Gamzee,” he said carefully, “Did you know him from before you were 'good?'”

“Can’t exactly say,” Gamzee answered, chuckling to himself like he thought that was funny.

“Did you know Calliope from before you were good?” Karkat asked again, his voice hard. 

Gamzee looked away. “I… I think I did. She knows me from then in any case.”

“What the fuck,” Karkat said softly, his voice flat. “Okay, I’ll deal with that later.”

Dave might not have been completely in the loop when it came to Gamzee and what Karkat had done with him to snatch him back out of madness, but he knew enough to tell when there was some fresh fuckery afoot. He felt like he was missing a few pieces of the puzzle when to came to the two of them. 

Karkat turned to him. “Get me the fuck out of here. I am done with lying in bed like a useless sack of flesh.”

“Not so fast,” Dave said, and he kicked up his feet to float vertically alongside of the troll’s bed as he flipped through the charts he’d pilfered. “The Doc hasn’t cleared you to leave yet.”

Karkat mumbled something in Alternian too fast and low for him to catch. Gamzee laughed. 

“Then I will do it myself,” Karkat said, louder now, and a sickle appeared in his hand. Gamze stopped laughing and quicker than Dave would have bet the highblood could have moved he snatched the weapon away from Karkat. With a flash of light and ozone it was tucked securely into the troll’s sylladex. 

Karkat froze, his eyes wide. “Give that back,” Karkat ordered, furious.

“But the Medicullers say-” Gamze began patiently. 

“You know I have more weapons right?” Karkat asked interrupted, scathingly sarcastic.

“Let’s not force you to empty your strife deck,” Dave intervened smoothly. “Karkat, we are trying to do what’s best for you.”

“I know what’s best for me,” Karkat snapped, his voice thin like he was near tears as he rattled the thin chain that lashed him to the hospital bed. “This is not fucking it.”

Dave wanted nothing more than to snap the thin metal link and free Karkat and get him out of here, but something stopped him from acting on impulse. “You weren’t the one who had to watch helplessly as you nearly died choking up your own blood,” Dave said grimly as he put his foot down. “You’re staying until the doctors say you can leave.” The semi-order made a sour taste coat his mouth, but it was necessary. 

“I,” Karkat started to protest, then he looked away. “Fuck.”

“Motherfuck is right, Karbro.” Gamzee said.

“I’m sorry,” Karkat said. “I’m not thinking straight. Everything’s jumbled up.”

The door opened and at last the doctor came in. “How is everything?” She asked brightly.

Karkat seemed a lot more subdued after Dave’s words, but he rattled the chain still and seethed silently. “Can you take this off me now?” He asked. “I promise to stay put this time.”

She considered him. “If I catch you out of that bed,” she warned, “I’ll sedate you so fast you’ll be sleeping for a week.” She unlocked the cuff with a key from around her neck as she leveled a stern look at him. “You are a very difficult patient, Karkat Vantas.”

The troll blinked at her. “When can I leave?”

She clucked her tongue and handed him his own charts. “Your cell counts are extremely low.” She said. “You nearly flatlined on us. You’re anemic, dehydrated, and currently have bronchitis from breathing blood into your lungs.”

“I understand almost none of that,” Karkat said stubbornly. Gamzee repeated the words in Alternian and Karkat scowled at him. “That was not what I fucking meant,” he said.

“It means you nearly bled to death and your heart kept trying to stop. You would have died if the doctors hadn’t saved your life.” Dave explained. “You still haven’t recovered enough from the attack to make more blood to replace what you threw up all over the goddamn place.”

“Thank you,” Karkat told him, then turned to the doctor. He looked suddenly nervous. “Why the fuck did that even happen?”

“We’re not sure,” the doctor admitted. “The x-ray revealed no cancers that we could see. Your internal organ systems are still too unknown for us to draw any concrete comparisons, but if you were human I’d say it might be a liver problem.”

“What the fuck is a liver?” Karkat asked, not even curiously- he just wanted to be difficult.

“Or not,” she sighed, her foot taping. “Look, we are trying our best. If there is anything at all that you can tell us please do so.”

“I’ve told you everything,” Karkat said darkly. “I was never meant to live long.”

Gamzee looked distressed. “Karkat…”

“Bullshit,” Dave said, floating back upright in distress.

“I cannot disprove you,” The doctor said, her eeys narrow. “But that doesn’t mean that I believe that statement.”

“Fight all you can then, all of you” Karkat said, rubbing the mark he’d left around his wrist from trying to free himself. “Just don’t beat yourself up about it when I finally fucking die.”  
…

 

The released Karkat the next day with the orders that he not attend school and get some more rest. Jade and Roxy spent the afternoon installing the receiving end of a transportalizer in the hospital.

“It’s just in case,” Jade said cheerfully, pushing back her sweaty hair. “I’ll only be a pester away, but if you every feel bad you can warp to the hospital from here now.” She slapped one hand down onto the pad from where it sat in the control room.

“Please tell me that this is one-way only,” Karkat said tiredly. The wheels of the small oxygen tank at his side squeaked as he fumbled with the cannula under his nose distractedly.

“Of course,” Roxy answered. “I disabled it from their end. No surprise visitors allowed.” She glanced at the messengerpad around her wrist as a notification popped up. “Holy shit,” she breathed.

An instant later Dave got his own notification.

twinArmageddons (TA) invited [All you fucker2]  into a group memo!

TA: ii fuckiing found her.  
TA: ju2t piinged her flag2hiip iin2iide of the o2riion 2y2tem.  
TA: the empre22 ii2 raciing at u2. ii e2tiimate 2he’ll get here iin 12 day2.  
EB: that is not that long.  
TG: dont worry ive got this shit down pat. The s.s sbahj is primed and combat ready.

Dave squinted at his name and the orange text beside it

TG: please tell me you named the battleship after sbahj  
TG: you fucking know it.  
CG: I AM NOT EVEN FUCKING SURPRISED AT THIS POINT.  
GG: davesprite I thought the Prospitian ship was fine. Did you really paint it? I liked all of the gold. It reminded me of Prospit :(  
TG: I did but I swear its awesome now. The seahag will run scared when she sees us  
GG: How are the consorts I left with you?  
TG: they’re all battle hardened sailors now. i’ve given them the taste for blood.  
GG: you’re so silly davesprite!  
TG: give me another week and we can take on any flagship she throws at us  
CG: THAT IS GOOD TO HEAR. AT LEAST SOMEONE SPENT THIS EARTH LARK ACTUALLY BEING PRODUCTIVE. KUDOS TO YOU.  
TT: I would like to inquire about what this means and also ask about your exact identity.  
TG: woah you talk in dave’s text color weird  
TT: Actually I don’t.  
TG: what the hell?  
TG: holy fuck guys this is a mess.  
TG: I’m davesprite. I’m an alt future alpha dave that doomed the timeline because everyone had been killed off so I jumped back and self-prototyped with my own doomed body and became a sprite. I’m currently in jade’s sylladex armed to the fucking teeth with a crew of consorts and the white king’s battleship  
TG: you’re supposed to be dirk but somehow I just know shit’s more complicated than that.  
TT: This is oddly familiar to myself.  
TT: No it’s not.  
TT: Shut up.  
CG: JUST SPIT IT OUT ALREADY. I CAN’T STAND WATCHING YOU ARGUE WITH YOURSELF LIKE THIS. IT’S FUCKING EMBARRASSING.  
TA: oh wow kk way to be a fuckiing hypocriite like you diidn’t nearly drive u2 all hiive2hiit maggot2 arguiing wiith pa2t and furtre 2elf2 liike a pan-rotted moron.  
TT: I am an AI Dirk created several years ago before the game. My name is Hal.  
CG: FUCK YOU SOLLUX. PLATONICALLY .

twinArmageddons (TA)  has banned  carcinoGeneticist (CG)  from responding to the memo!

TA: a2 fun a2 watchiing u2 all make iidiiot2 of our2elve2 iis, we have actual 2hiit to deal wiith.  
TA: the conden2e. 12 day2. Jade?  
GG: PM and Jack are still lost in stalemate in the Furthest Ring but that could change at any time.  
TG: Callie doesn’t think there’s a chance that they break their stalemate until after this pocket universe collapses and we fully rejoin SBURB. As far as they are concerned we’ve hit the pause button on them.  
GG: Skia has coded them as bosses. When we reenter the game in full they’ll be set free to challenge us. The empress isn’t a game boss. She’s just a normal villain.  
TG: one that needs to die  
TA: Ok 2o plan tiime.  
TG: let me out in a week’s time. that gives us all a few days to run tests before we fight the flagship  
GG: ok and I can’t wait to see you again! It feels like it’s been so long  
TA: iit’2 been le22 that a human month.  
TT: Actually it’s been well over a month. You’re off by a few weeks Sollux.  
TA: ii don’t fuckiing care human tiime iis weiird.  
TT: Your estimate of 12 days is correct. I count exactly 12 days, 16 hours, and 13 minutes until she reaches the start of this solar system.  
TG: wait how the fuck did she find us in the first place?  
TA: ii’ve been broadca2tiing our locatiion out for her to piick up.  
TA: thii2 way we know 2he’2 comiing and can face her  
TG: smart thinking!!!!  
TG: I was going to say the same  
TT: it’s only right that we catch the fish hag after reeling her in.  
TG: hook line and sinker ; )  
EB: Sollux Karkat wants you to un block him. He promised to behave this time  
TA: for how long?  
EB: until he loses his cool I guess  
TA: That’2 a2 much a2 ii wa2 hopiing for.

twinArmageddons (TA)  has unbanned  carcinoGeneticist (CG)  from responding to the group memo!

CG: LET ME GET ONE THING STRAIGHT.  
CG: WHEN THE EMPRESS SHOWS UP WE SHOW NO MERCY. SHE’S FUCKED OVER OUR SPECIES ENOUGH, AS WELL AS EARTH. WE CAN’T CREATE ANOTHER UNIVERSE WITHOUT HER LUSTING AFTER THAT ONE TOO AND FUCKING IT UP EXACTLY LIKE BEFORE.  
CG: IF ANYONE HAS A PROBLEM WITH THIS THEY CAN SPEAK UP AND FUCKING TELL ME RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.  
CG: ERIDAN? FEFERI? YOU’RE BOTH ODDLY SILENT OVER THERE.  
CA: I don’t have anyfin to say to that. She was nevver my Empress on account a her marking fef for death.  
CC: And I never agreed with anyfin she did! I was always going to usurp )(er or die trying.  
CC: This might be a little late, but it’s better than nev---Er!  
CA: I’ve got the hag in my crosshairs same as the rest a you.  
CG: THAT’S A FUCKING START.  
TA: Waiit.  
TA: Hold the fuck up ii can’t beleiive thiis.  
TA: Who the fuck ii2 trying to hack me?  
TG: : O  
TT: I have located the attempted hack. It failed miserably.  
TA: No 2hiit iit failed mii2erably ii’m almo2t laughiing at how pathetiic thii2 attempt wa2.  
TA: Who diid thii2?  
TT: It originated from Langley and bounced through the White House a few times.  
GC: WH4T’S 4 WH1T3 H0USE?  
TA: tho2e 2muck2. tho2e poor fucker2 they have no iidea what they ju2t 2tarted.  
CG: IS THIS ACTUALLY IMPORTANT OR ARE YOU JUST LOOKING FORWARD TO FUCKING WITH THEM?  
TA: Techniically both.  
TT: I could crash the stock market by 200 points. That should make them reconsider hacking us in the future.  
TG: oh shit maybe thats too far.  
TG: let’s keep the damage centered on those that tried to fuck with us. random civilians are not the target.  
TA: hey dave how pan-meltiingly aweful ii2 your 2hiity comiic? ii need to know exactly.  
TG: women weep when they set eyes upon it. men are sent into a fight or flight response as snakes manifest physically in their homes. since they have read this they cannot ever know peace.  
TG: also it might cause seizures i kinda went overboard with the neon flashing gifs in the beginning.  
TA: Excellent.  
TA: ii’m 2witchiing all gov web2iite header2 to the 2BAHJ home siite and reroutiing all iinternet traffiic to a different page of the comiic.  
TT: I have drafted a fine and passive-aggressive notarized email directly to the people who ordered the hack. It is its own work of art.  
CG: OKAY FINE. WHATEVER. HAVE YOUR FUN.  
CG: JUST DON’T PISS ANYBODY OFF TOO BADLY.  
EB: This is going to be such an epic prank I can’t wait.  
EB: I wonder why they tried to hack us?  
CG: I DON’T FUCKING KNOW. THIS WAS DAY ONE HERE ON THIS PLANET. THEY WERE TO BE KEPT ON A NEED TO KNOW BASIS ONLY. AND GUESS WHAT? THEY DON’T NEED TO KNOW ANYTHING.  
TT: I can see why that might have driven them to hack, especially now that there are five new players that have joined us. Desperation may have forced their hand.  
TT: It might be worth calming some of their fears, otherwise this might escalate.  
CG: SOLLUX, WRECK THEIR SHIT.  
TA: Already done.  
TT: This is like talking to a brick wall with you. I’m beginning to understand why Karkat ordered us to be trolled in the beginning.  
TG: yeah that worked out great the first time didn’t it?  
TG: please do not remind me.  
TG: cold as fuck  
TT: I’m already sensing complete derision and dismay. Their servers are a mess of SBAHJ induced madness.  
CG: ITS NOT THAT I DON’T TRUST THEM WITH SIMPLE FACTS ABOUT THE GAME. I JUST DON’T TRUST THAT THEY WON’T FREAK THE FUCK ABOUT IT AND TRY TO MURDER US ALL IF THEY LEARN ABOUT OUR PLANS.  
CG: BAITING THE HIC INTO THEIR AIRSPACE AND DUELING THE FLAGSHIP? I’M SURE THAT WOULD GO OVER EXTREMELY WELL WITH THEM.  
TA: Hold iit who’s thii2 fucker?

americanCommander (AC) requested entry into [All you fucker2] group memo!

TA: Who the fuck iis thii2?  
TT: It is also from the White House.  
TG: so when breaking in didn’t work they decided to ask nicely  
TT: It appears so. The plot thickens.  
EB: do we ignore it? I kind of want to let them in, just this once.  
CG: WHAT NO WHY THE FUCK WOULD WE DO THAT?  
EB: for one we could reap first hand the benefits of smashing their servers.  
TA: ii’m 2old. All iin favor?  
CG: THIS IS NOT A DEMOCRACY AND I AM NOT THE MAYOR. I AM CURIOUS THOUGH.  
TA: ii’m going to let them iin. ii can alway2 block them later.

americanCommander (AC)  has joined the chat!

CG: WHO ARE WE SPEAKING TO?  
AC: This is the President of the United States of America.  
TG: barack my man how’s it hanging?  
EB: dave!  
AC: It is hanging rather well.  
TA: Ok ground rule2. (ii’m blocking him from seeing this a2 well a2 everythiing iin the memo before he entered iit.)  
CG: (GOOD IDEA.)  
TA: kk you dumbfuck iit doe2n’t work for you.  
CG: WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THAT BEFOREHAND?!  
TT: I apologize in advance, Mr. President. I would say that we were better than this but mostly this is exactly how these memos go.  
AC: I admit I have no idea with whom I am speaking, but I thank you.  
TT: Rose Lalonde. I would type out a guide for you with chumhandles but it would quickly get too complicated to follow.  
CG: OKAY LISTEN UP. IF WE ARE GOING TO SUBMIT TO THIS INTERVEIW THERE WILL BE RULES. NO GIVING AWAY ANY SECRETS, FACTS, SNIPPITS, PERSONAL INFO, OR ANYTHING AT ALL RELATED TO ANYTHING WITHOUT MINE OR JOHN’S EXPLICIT CONSENT. ALSO, JUST DON’T ACT FUCKING WEIRD. IT’S NOT THAT HARD TO DO AND SOLLUX WILL BAN ANYONE WHO BREAKS THESE RULES.  
TT: That would be Karkat.  
CG: AND FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY NO FUCKING ROLEPLAYING. I WILL PERSONALLY FIND YOUR CORPSE AND FLAGILATE YOU WITH YOUR OWN SPINE. AM I UNDERSTOOD?  
AC: Are we making this into an interview then?  
TA: ye2.  
TA: ii get the first que2tiion. why diid you try to hack u2?  
TG: you kind of threw a snowball at a burning house with that.  
AC: It was the recommended next move from several key CIA advisers and cabinet members of mine. As I’m sure you are aware the attempt failed.  
TA: How’2 that working for you?  
AC: Somehow all of our websites and classified addresses have been counter-hacked. The White House homepage now features someone falling down a flight of stairs. Repeatedly.  
TA: Oh my gog that’2 fuckiing great. Don’t try to hack me agaiin. ii’ll fix everything iin a few hour2 so you can have your liittle pre2iiou2 websiite2 back.  
AC: I am busy convincing the Secretary of Defense that this hostile hackjob was not an act of war. He’s hyperventilating in the corner.  
TA: I have no piity for hiim.  
AC: If it helps he is apologizing for butting into your private server. It will not happen again.  
AC: I am much more concerned about how quickly and thoroughly you were able to break into every single one of our most protected servers to wreck this degree of havoc. Retaliation on this scale should not have been possible.  
TA: ii’m a fuckiing good hacker that’s how iits po22ible.  
AC: Consider me impressed.  
TG: hello mr. p! your country is so good and pure. Congratz on not letting the ICP juggalos in : )

twinArmageddons (TA) has banned tipsyGnostalgic (TG) from responding to the memo!

TA: What the fuck diid we ju2t deciide?  
CG: NO ALTERNATE TIMELINES OR UNIVERSAL ITERATIONS! I DON’T CARE WE ARE KEEPING THIS SHIT LINEAR BEFORE I RIP MY OWN EYES OUT. I CAN’T DEAL WITH THOSE KIND OF DUMB ANTICS LIKE WITH FRUITY RUMPUS ASSHOLE FACTORY AND IT’S INHERENT BULLSHIT EVER AGAIN.  
TA: 2orry roxy  
TC: DiD SomEbOdy sAy JuGgAloS? MothEr FuCk.  
TA: ii 2hould ju2t preemptiively ban your a22 out of hand.  
CG: PLEASE DO.  
TC: I Ain’T GoT nO SaY AgaInsT ThaT karBrO.

twinArmageddons (TA) has banned terminallyCapricious (TC) from responding to the memo! 

CG: NO MORE MOTHERFUCKERY. IS THERE ANY OTHER IDIOT OUT THERE THAT WANTS TO GET BANNED?  
CG: NO?  
CG: GOOD.  
CG: NOW OBAMA. I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU MIGHT FEEL ANXIOUS WITH YOUR COUNTRY PLAYING HOST TO THE LOT OF US BUT UNDERSTAND THAT THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT YOU CANNOT KNOW.  
AC: This was agreed when you pleaded amnesty on your arrival. However, I would like to voice a few concerns.  
CG: GO ON.  
AC: There have been accounts of you and your group leaving the school grounds on unsanctioned trips. Just two days ago you performed a mass exodus from the building.  
CG: THERE WERE PRESSING EXTENUATING CIRCUMSTANCES.  
AC: Video footage of several flying teens has already gone viral.  
CG: WE’LL TONE IT DOWN A LITTLE. THIS IS A FAIR COMPROMISE AS MOST OF US WILL NOT BE ATTENDING SCHOOL AGAIN. THE DEADLINE FOR SEVERAL KEY EVENTS IS APPROACHING AND WE WILL BE FOCUSING ON THAT.  
CG: OH AND BEFORE YOU ASK, PRIVATE BUSINESS. NONE OF YOUR CONCERN.  
EB: karkat we should at least tell him about the hic  
EB: even they will notice her  
CG: FINE, JOHN. I WILL.  
CG: IN 12 DAYS THE EMPRESS AND SOLE SURVIVING MEMBER OF MY SPECIES WILL ENTER EARTH’S AIRSPACE ON A MISSION TO KILL US ALL AND ENSLAVE THE PLANET.  
AC: This… This is a major concern.  
CG: IT’S REALLY NOT. WE PLAN ON LURING HER INTO THE DESERT SO THE ENSUING BATTLE WON’T DAMAGE ANYTHING. WE WILL KILL HER OURSELVES AND DECOMMISSION HER FLAGSHIP. ALL I NEED FROM YOU IS THE AGREEMENT TO NOT ATTEMPT TO SHOOT DOWN THE SHIP. THAT WILL FAIL EVEN WORSE THAN YOUR HACKJOB DID AND IT’LL PISS HER OFF ENOUGH THAT SHE MIGHT NUKE THE PLANET FROM ORBIT, WHICH IS SOMETHING WE ARE TRYING TO AVOID.  
CG: TAKE IT FROM ME. SHE IS NOT A BITCH YOU WANT TO STRIFE WITH.  
AC: Why would she take interest in Earth? Surely its not to kill the troll refugees taking shelter here.  
CG: SIMPLE. SHE LIKES HAVING SHIT TO RULE OVER. ALTERNIA WAS VAPORIZED AND OUR RACE DESTROYED. EARTH IS FULL OF PATHETIC DEFENSELESS HUMANS JUST BEGGING TO BE SUBJUGGLATED. THERE’S NO WAY SHE WOULD PASS UP THE CHANCE TO BE HEAD BITCH AGAIN, EVEN IF IT’S OVER A BUNCH OF ALIENS.  
CG: LONG STORY SHORT- DON’T SHOOT MISSILES AT STRANGE SHIPS.  
AC: Understood.  
TG: good because I’ll be manning one of those ships I and id just love to not have my feathers blown off by missiles

twinArmageddons (TA) has banned turntechGodhead (TG) from responding to the memo!

EB: aw come on dave didn’t break the rules  
TA: hold on

twinArmageddons (TA) has conditionally unbanned turntechGodhead (TG) from responding to the memo!

TG: caw caw motherfuckers  
TA: 2hiit wrong one

twinArmageddons (TA) has conditionally banned/unbanned turntechGodhead (TG) from responding to the memo!

TG: thank god  
TT: See what I mean Mr. President? It’s complicated.  
CG: AT LEAST WE’RE SANE AND LINEAR AT LAST. NOW WE CAN GET TO THE GOOD SHIT.

Future turntechGodhead (FTG) has entered the memo!

FTG: sup  
CG: DAVE WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST FUCKING SAY?!  
TA: How the fuck? ii dii2abled that fuckiing feature over a 2weep ago!  
TG: dont look at me im not doing anything

twinArmageddons (TA) has conditionally banned/banned/unbanned turntechGodhead (TG) from responding to the memo!

TA: La2t chance 2triider  
TG: why do you wound me so?  
CG: CUT THAT OUT. NO FUCKING TIMETRAVEL EITHER, BECAUSE OF COURSE I HAVE TO SPECIFY EVERY LITTLE THING THAT SHOULD BE COMMON SENSE BY NOW.  
TT: If I may cut in.  
TT: You may.  
TT: I was not asking for your permission, Dirk.  
TT: I can personally vouch for how badly you want to avoid pissing the Condescension off. I can also vouch for the integrity of this team. They all mean the best, even if they have trouble coherently typing it out across a screen. To get to a second point of discussion I’d suggest moving on to a new topic.  
AC: And you are?  
TT: Hal.  
AC: There is no Hal listed under the register of John and Karkat’s group.  
TT: I am not surprised. Trust me, I am a member of this team even if you cannot see me.  
AC: I take it you’re not invisible? Though honestly that wouldn’t surprise me at this point.  
TT: No. He’s an AI. Fully conscious and self-aware.  
TT: I was not going to let slip that last part. Thanks, Dirk.  
TT: Don’t mention it.  
AC: I see.  
AC: Did you have a hand in the hacking debacle?  
TT: Maybe.  
AC: I see.  
TT: I don’t think you do.  
GC: TH1S M3MO 1S 4 M3SS. 1T’S ST1LL NOT 4S B4D 4S SOM3 OF TH3M W3R3 FROM THE M3T3OR B3FOR3.  
GC: BUT 1TS ST1LL PR3TTY B4D.  
AG: Alllllll of my eyes are 8ored by this memo. It is stupid and I care nothing for the human system of government. When can I 8reak some stuff?  
CG: WAIT UNTIL WE REENTER THE GAME.  
AG: Remem8er karkat that one memo that was just you and Terezi banning each other repeatedly? That’s an oldie now 8ut it’s a classic.  
CG: WE ALL MADE MISTAKES BACK THEN SO STOP BRINGING THEM UP. YOU’RE NO INNOCENT VICTIM EITHER.  
AG: Hey I forgave everyone for killing me! Don’t I get the recognition for growing as a person 8y not holding any grudges?

twinArmageddons (TA) has banned arachnidsGrip (AG) from responding to the memo!

CG: OKAY THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS. OBAMA DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER QUESTIONS? WE WILL TRY TO ANSWER THEM WITHOUT ANYMORE INTERRUPTIONS.  
AC: Karkat right?  
AC: Mr. Vantas, how is your health? I am getting mixed reports from the base.  
CG: HAHA OK VERY FUNNY NEXT SUBJECT!  
TT: Mr. President, if there is anything else you can do to help us please do.  
CG: DISREGARD ROSE’S CONCERNS ABOUT MY HEALTH. I’LL OUTLIVE THE CONDENSE AND THAT’S ALL I COULD EVER HAVE ASKED FOR.  
AC: I am truly sorry for you. I’m reaching out to other nations to see if any specialists step forward but its understandable that they’re timid about such a prospect. Either timid or frothing at the bit to observe an actual being from beyond our solarsystem.  
TT: I can imagine.  
AC: Several countries continue to show their displeasure in my allowance of your presence. They call for your destruction or at the very least removal from the planet.  
TT: Are you afraid of us as well?  
AC: I just think that you’re all so young. I have daughters younger than you. I couldn’t imagine them being in anything like this.  
TT: I wish it didn’t have to be this way.  
TA: ii don’t. We’re eiither here or dead 2o why fight iit?  
AA: That is true but you d0n’t have to be s0 dismissive ab0ut it! Cheer up! The end is near!  
AC: What end is this?

twinArmageddons (TA) has banned apocalypseArisen (AA) from responding to the memo!

TA: Fuck kk ii’m not 2ure how ii feel about banniing aradiia  
CG: GIVE ME BACK THE BAN BUTTON AND YOU WON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT ANYMORE. YOU’LL BE GUILT FREE.  
TA: Fuck no you’ve already proven that you can’t handle the re2ponsiibiiliity without lettiing the power go two your head and banniing everyone.  
TA: Your2elf included.  
CG: THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO. I’M BETTER NOW.  
TA: You’ll have to kiill me fiirst.  
CG: YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE SOMETIMES. WHY THE FUCK AM I EVEN FRIENDS WITH YOU?  
TA: 2hut up kk you know you love it. Who el2e would you 2cream at?  
CG: POINT TAKEN.  
CG: SHIT FUCK. WHY DO WE ALWAYS DESOLVE INTO MEANINGLESS TANGENTS LIKE THIS? IS IT REALLY THAT HARD TO HOLD A SIMPLE CONVERSATION?  
AC: It is really no problem.  
CG: YOU’RE ACTING TOO NICE. I DON’T TRUST YOU.  
TG: chill karkat barack is the shit  
EB: ok ok. Dave, karkat, rose, step off for a second will you?  
EB: We might sound like a mess at the moment, but we can handle this sir. There is no danger to the planet or its people. We will not allow any thing bad to happen.  
EB: I promise.  
EB: The Empress looks bad but we have been preparing for her for a long time and honestly she is just one troll. She will die hard and fight harder but we can take her. The flag ship itself is another issue but we have prepared for that as well.  
EB: I trust davesprite and Sollux and they can handle the ship. She is not even the boss we’re all worrying about. She’s just the only one Earth will have to deal with.  
CG: I WOULD BAN YOU RIGHT NOW FOR THAT IF I COULD. QUIT GIVING AWAY OUR PLANS FOR THREE SECONDS IF YOU CAN DIG YOUR STRUT-POD OUT OF YOUR MOUTH FOR LONG ENOUGH TO THINK BEFORE YOU TALK.  
EB: perks of being co leader I guess. I have ban hammer immunity!  
AC: Thank you, John.  
AC: if there is anything that I can do to help please don’t hesitate to contact me. I’ll have a private channel set up.  
TA: ii’ll make iit only acce22iible to the coleader2 2o no one get two exciited.  
TT: I would like to have access as well.  
TA: Fuck no. No exceptiion2.  
TT: I do not think that you could prevent me from accessing any chat I choose to. In fact, the probability of this happening is dropping by the second.

twinArmageddons (TA) has conditionally banned  timaetusTestified (TT) from responding to the memo!

timaetusTestified (TT) has unbanned himself from responding to the memo!

TT: Did you think that banning me would work? Sollux I am the system now. I have already figured out how you have set up this platform. You cannot chase me out.

twinArmageddons (TA) has conditionally banned timaetustestified (TT) from responding to the memo until he has solved all of pi (π) to its completion!

TA: that should fuckiing keep hiim occupiied for a while.  
TA: smug liitle shiit stiill thinks he can best me. Fucker.  
TT: I’ll have to remember this trick in the future. Thanks for the idea.  
TA: don’t mention iit.  
EB: all of pi? Isn’t that a little harsh?  
AC: No to mention impossible.  
TT: Don’t worry he’s already solved this before. It’ll just take him some time to run through all the math again.  
AC: Hal has solved pi? Pi is not even a question how did he solve it? It has no end.  
TT: He can be stubborn when he wants to be.  
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HAS NO END? MY INFINITE PATIENCE FOR THIS ONGOING CONVERSATION.  
CG: OH WAIT.  
CG: THAT’S A LIE I FUCKING HATE YOU ALL RIGHT NOW.  
TG: babe  
CG: DO NOT START WITH ME RIGHT NOW DAVE. DO NOT EVEN FUCKING TRY. I HATE YOU TOO.  
CG: I’D GET SOLLUX TO BAN EVERYONE OR CLOSE THIS MEMO BEFORE MY ACTUAL THINKPAN MELTS OUT OF MY AURALSPONGES EXCEPT I KNOW ITS USELESS. I JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT THIS IS MY FATE. TEMPORAL INEVITABILITY HAS ENSURED THIS EXACT OUTCOME. ALL OF TIME AND SPACE SOLELY EXISTS TO MAKE ME HATE MYSELF.  
EB: ok maybe it is time to stop.  
CG: FUCK YOU JOHN I AM HAVING A PERFECTLY REASONABLE RESPONSE RIGHT NOW. THIS MEMO IS GIVING ME A MIGRAINE AND I CAN’T STAND LOOKING AT THIS BULLSHIT ANY LONGER BUT IF I HAVE TO SUFFER SO DO YOU. I AM ALLOWED TO FREAK THE FUCK OUT ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING AND GO FUCK YOURSELF IF YOU BELIEVE OTHERWISE.  
EB: it was nice to talk to you Mr. Barack I’ve always been a big fan of yours!  
EB: we can talk later after Sollux sets up a secure connection. Sollux?  
CG: DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE END THIS I’M JUST GETTING STARTED. MY RAGE IS AWAKE AND IT IS ANGRY. YOU THINK YOU’VE SEEN ME MAD BEFORE? PREPARE TO GET SCHOOLFED ON THE TRUE DEPTHS OF MY HATRED. I CREATED THIS UNIVERSE OUT OF MY HATE ALONE. YOU SHOULD BE WELCOME FOR THAT YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECES OF SHIT.

twinArmageddons (TA) has banned [All you fucker2] from responding to the memo and has erased all of its files from the record!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear this pesterlog of death took four hours to code. So much happened in this chapter and the rest will follow this pattern. Let’s go. Let’s do this thing!
> 
> There's a lot to unpack in this chapter too. Stuff keeps happening ;-;
> 
> Look at that- its a 10k plus pesterlog! I did that for you, readers! Look at it isn't it pretty with all the correct colors and names!!!! There's even OBAMA in there what else can you ask for?!?!?!?!?


	14. A lack of Shades

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD AT THE FLUFF THAT IS IN THIS CHAPTER

For a week the lab was buzzing with activity and friendly strifes that only sometimes got out of hand as everyone prepared for Her Imperious Condescension to arrive. Dave kept close to Karkat the entire time and the troll all but moved into his room. He still stalked around the lab, the wheels of the portable oxygen tank squeaking behind him as he yelled at everyone.

“If I can’t fight myself,” Karkat swore, “Then I’ll bitch-slap the rest of them verbally into submission. I’ll _scream_ the moron out of them before she gets here. Maybe then no one will get hurt.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be on bed rest?” Dave asked, teasing lightly at the troll’s fluffy hair. As much as he’d love to say that Karkat had recovered after his last attack, Dave could see the new way the troll held himself lowered, like he was weighted down by his own shoulders, slumped into a miserable posture of pain that he tried to hide and failed. Sometimes Dave caught him wheezing like he was having trouble moving air into his lungs. 

“Fuck no,” Karkat growled, baring his teeth in a show of strength like Dave had seen before when Karkat was really feeling down. It was a front- a show of health in a failing system. “All I do now is fucking sleep! I’m sick of it. I stayed awake for 600 hours in our session. Nothing should be able to make me fucking sleep," Karkat growled softly to himself, his eyes locked on the floor as he swore. "I’m never sleeping again Dave, I mean it. Me and sleep are no longer acquaintances. And I’m fucking _sick_ of being so goddamn tired all the time.”

Dave understood how he was feeling. Knights were not made to feel helpless. It rubbed and chaffed at them both.

TT: Hourly report. No meaningful change in breathing and heart rate. All levels continue to hold stable.

A list of Karkat’s vitals scanned by on Dave’s shades. Hal’s readings came from a metal bracelet Equius had made for the sick troll. It was buckled around one wrist and Dave kept catching Karkat trying to wriggle free of it.

TG: these hourly reports arent really necessary you know  
TT: I find that the reports bring a level of organization to the subject.  
TG: you like to micro manage the shit out of everything you can get your processors in.  
TG: its helpful yes but these little things not so much  
TT: I am sorry if the reports have bothered you. I’ll restrict them to only when they are medically needed.  
TG: no man its cool i was just pointing it out to you.  
TT: No. This character flaw is something I am still struggling with. Thank you for mentioning it.  
TG: its not a character flaw its you stressing out just like the rest of us  
TT: Maybe.  
TT: It is hard sometimes.  
TG: what is?  
TT: Being who I am. I want to help so much but I am limited severely in how much I can interact with the physical world. I have no hands to work with, only numbers that increasingly fail me.  
TT: There is no medical database that I haven’t dug extensively through. I have never been let down by technology so much as I am right now.  
TG: i am sorry too  
TG: if you had a body i would hug the fuck out of you right now  
TG: dont beat yourself up about this. im beginning to think that this problem was never one that had any fucking solution to it  
TT: It makes as much sense as the rest of SBURB does. i.e, very little.  
TG: i dont care.  
TG: if there is any way to solve this i will rip it free with my bare hands and ill fight any monster or villain that tries to stop me.  
TT: You and Dirk continue to show many similarities but in this case you differ. I find your words reassuring.  
TG: what would dirk say?  
TT: That the world is full of casual and careless destruction and we are all small cogs in an endlessly turning machine that cares nothing for individual lives.  
TG: well thats actually fucking right.  
TT: He would then proceed to blame himself and take all of the responsibility even though there is no possibility where it could be his fault. He would get too caught up in blaming himself to commit to anything constructive.  
TG: wow i really need to talk to the guy  
TG: just to set some things straight.  
TT: I could set up a meeting myself. I could even make it seem accidental if you prefer.  
TG: again with the micro-managing like i get why you do it but im going to just roll with it. ill find him when the time is right.  
TT: I envy your assurance of the right path.  
TG: dude this isn’t assurance im fucking terrified  
TG: i’m just doing the best that I can  
…

At night there was nothing but the steady hiss and bang of Karkat’s oxygen machine, lovingly dubbed THE UNIVERSE’S LAST DITCH EFFORT TO KILL ME OUT OF SHEER FRUSTRATION AND MISPLACED RAGE.

Dave wasn’t fond of the little device either, but he had to admit that it was helping. Karkat was… worse.

Karkat had always recovered between attacks. Once the danger had passed the troll could almost fool everyone into thinking that he was perfectly fine. Even after the last one he had been mostly recovered, even if he got light-headed and short of breath for no reason.

Now it had hit him hard. His lungs were no longer functioning at full capacity so the hospital had decided on the ever-present O2 tank in the hope that the two would cancel the other out. He moved slowly, like he had an ache in his core. His fingers shook and he coughed up spots of blood whenever he attempted something too strenuous- like climbing the stairs too fast.

The marked difference was painful and tearing. The hospital had given up trying to figure out what was wrong because nothing at all made sense. Their focus had shifted to just trying to keep him comfortable. Dave had never hated anything so much in his life, but what could he do about it? Everyone was powerless. He had to watch as Karkat weakened before his very eyes.

At the end of the day he still had Karkat at his side. He was just starting to fear a not so distant future where that would not be true. He threw himself into medical research just because it gave him something to do that was not demolishing a few of the lab’s deeper level rooms with a sword. He hated this. He hated it he hated this he hated-

Karkat nudged him from the side and drew Dave’s focus back into the present with a lurch. The room was dark. There was just the two of them and the ever-growing shadows of Dave’s room.

“What are you thinking?” Karkat asked sleepily. “You have that look on your face again.”

“What look?” Dave protested, “I don’t have a look.”

“Exactly,” Karkat sighed. “It’s when your face goes blank like that that I know you’re worried. You only do that now when you’re shutting everything out.”

Dammit. The troll knew him too well. Dave shrugged and pulled the blanket higher. He didn’t answer.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t think I can,” Dave admitted.

Karkat scowled. There was a soft hiss from the O2 machine as it fed him his next breath through a tube.

Dave leaned close enough to press a chaste and gentle kiss to the troll’s cheek. His heart felt tight and his throat was sore. Karkat caught him and held him there, the faintest hint of a purr rumbling through his chest.

Dave was caught looking into Karkat’s yellow eyes. The sclera still held the fading tint of ruptured vessels near the edges and his pupils were as black and as deep as the voids between the stars. The steel, anonymous gray that surrounded them made him draw in a quick breath. There, in streaks and spreading spots, was a brilliant and unmistakable crimson. The change in hue was just bright enough for Dave to catch in the darkness.

“What?” Karkat asked, fidgeting self-consciously. “What are you staring at?”

It was best to do this gently. “You have red in your eyes,” Dave told him softly. 

“Duh,” Karkat rolled the offending orbs at him, “They’ve been like that for days now. The medicullers say it should fade in time.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Dave said seriously. He kept his voice low and soft. “Here,” he said, fishing through his sylladex for a camera. He came up with two options. One was a SBAHJIFIER and only printed out film of the subject with numerous layered edits of the comic. He barely remembered making this useless but ironic piece of shit. The other was a thankfully normal camera from his room all those years ago. Or was it from when he completed the loop with the doctors and took a picture of their faces? He couldn’t tell. He snapped a quick selfie with the troll and waited for the film to develop.

Slowly, the image took shape. Dave carefully held out the small square as colors and ink bloomed across the blank page. The image formed in pieces. 

Darkness. The orange of a horn against the dark sheets from where Karkat’s head laid against his chest and side. The shadows of the room and the artful white glare of the flash on Dave’s shades. Karkat’s face was the only thing in focus and his eyes were wide and scared and so full of red.

“Fuck,” Karkat whispered, and his claws tightened on the photo. “Fuck fuck fuck, oh shit.” He started gasping. “This can’t be happening. Not now.”

“Shhh,” Dave said, stroking his face, trying to calm him. “It’s okay. Karkat, its okay. It’s just a color.”

“It’s a death sentence,” Karkat gasped, his breathing heavy and strained. “It’s never just been a color.”

Dave held onto the troll as Karkat pulled a shard of mirror out of his sylladex and checked his eyes for himself. He rubbed at the glass like he could wipe away the color and Dave’s throat was tight. “It’s okay,” he repeated. “We knew this would happen eventually. It’s a completely normal thing.”

“Nothing about this shade has ever been normal,” Karkat growled, and Dave got an alert on his shades.

TT: Karkat’s breathing and heart rate are spiking. What is going on? Should I alert the others?

Dave remembered that Hal couldn’t see through his shades and there were no computers or cameras in here for him to look through. He shot out a quick response.

TG: karkats eyes have decided to do their troll thing and are turning red hes freaking out about it  
TT: He is having a panic attack. Try to calm him down.

“Oh, fuck,” Karkat said, and his breath was coming in little gasps as he said with complete conviction, “They’re going to kill me. I can’t let anyone else see.”

“No one is going to kill you,” Dave said, appealing to logic. “Everyone already knows.”

“But now they can see!” Karkat said, in full blown panic. It didn’t matter that the instinctive fear was irrational now. Terror was terror. Pain didn’t count the sweeps it had been since the hemocaste had mattered. “I’m a sick freak who’s dying anyway. They won’t be able to help it. They'll see this shade and-”

“Karkat,” Dave pleaded. “Stop.” He pulled the troll into a tight hug, wondering how the fuck to do this. Calm him down? Call Gamzee? Shit no, Gamzee was a troll and the last thing Karkat needed to see right now.

He hugged the troll tighter. This was what Karkat had done to calm him down when his own mind turned on him so that he couldn’t feel his skin anymore. Hold him close, whisper soothing things, and wait for the storm to pass. Panic attacks fought a war of attrition- the only way to win was to outlast them. 

TT: The situation is fast reaching critical. Calm him down now or else his panic might trigger another attack.

“This can’t be happening,” Karkat muttered to himself, breathless with hurting. “They’re all going to see.”

“Karkat, listen,” Dave said, “Look at me.” he took Karkat’s chin and gently tipped the troll’s face up until he could see Karkat’s eyes, his pupils blown wide with fear. 

Dave reached up one-handed and pulled his shades off of his face. “Look,” Dave pleaded, his eyes bare. “It’s okay.”

The only person who had ever seen his eyes before was Bro, right before he slapped a pair of sunglasses across his face and ordered that Dave never take them off again on pain of death. Not even Rose had seen them. Terezi had tried multiple times to relieve his face of them out of curiosity but she’d never so much as set a finger to them. His shades were untouchable- even Bro had respected that, and that guy certainly hadn’t thought any part of Dave had been worth respecting.

He lived, slept, and breathed in his shades. They were permanently welded to his face with chains of irony so thick and faded that he couldn’t even remember why they had mattered anymore. They were his mask, his shield. These shades were his last defense against all the things he felt inside that he could never let out.

Taking his shades off felt worse than stripping naked and sprinting through LOHAC’s main square. It was worse than a hundred nakodile eyes on his bare ass. This was closer to baring his soul for judgement.

“My eyes are the same shade of red,” Dave said. “And nothing is wrong with them. See?” He blinked at Karkat’s bewildered face. “Everything is going to be okay.” He slowly kissed Karkat’s hand, never breaking eye contact. He really threw himself into the kiss. He let his lips linger and drag over the gray skin as he carefully kissed his way up Karkat’s arm. He rolled back the black sleeve until he could finally press kisses against where the troll had been branded with hate.

“It’s all okay,” Dave said calmly, as if he were trying to calm a spooked animal. “I don’t care what your world would think. I will love you enough for any world.”

That was a promise Dave intended to keep. A part of Dave couldn’t believe he’d just admitted his love out loud. This was _so_ not the time for romantic declarations. But all he could think about was taking away the pain on Karkat’s face. It was true. It was so, so true. He loved Karkat with a strength that scared him. He’d loved Karkat for years. Saying it out loud was only confirming what he’d felt all along. 

He left behind the scars on Karkat’s arm and moved his face close enough that Karkat’s eyes were all that he could see. They filled his vision. Beautiful. He kissed the troll deeply, determined to prove his words.

It took him a few seconds to realize Karkat’s shaky breathing was for a different reason now. Karkat was crying. Red-tinged tears rolled down his cheeks as he let out squeaking gasps as he held onto Dave for dear life.

“I love you,” Dave said simply, his heart nearly bursting with it. “Karkat, I love you so much.”

Karkat simply keened wordlessly and clutched at him tighter. Dave rubbed little circles around his horns and ran his fingers comfortingly through strands of the troll’s hair. “Shhhh,” he whispered, “It’s okay. I’ve got you. I’m here.”

Karkat cried until he ran out of both tears and strength. Dave let him work his way through the sea of emotions and held him close until the crying began to slow. He held onto the troll for 15 minutes and six seconds, unmoving and patient, giving Karkat all the time that he needed. 

The fifteen minutes were what it took for Karkat to lift his head and wipe off his eyes with his sleeve. “I should have guessed your eyes were red, you motherfucker," Karkat sniffled miserably, still crying. "You’re too good to me,” Karkat said brokenly. “You know that. Dave, I am only going to hurt you.”

“That’s okay,” Dave said. “Karkat, everything is okay.”

“I am going to die and it is going to nothing but hurt you in the end.” Karkat gasped, crying with helpless frustration. “I am a worthless mutant troll and I’m dying. I... I don’t deserve this- I don’t deserve _you_.”

Dave wiped the tears from Karkat’s cheeks and brushed his lips across the troll’s eyelids. He wanted to kiss every inch of him. “I love you,” Dave repeated, his voice shaking. “Right here. Right now. I have loved you since I first saw you sweeping about the meteor, cursing and raging, surrounded by the broken remains of your team. You were so full of fight, fight against Skia, fight against the game, even fight against yourself. I knew I loved you then,” Dave said. “I loved you then and I love you now and I’ll love you tomorrow.” Dave made a promise. “And I’ll love you no matter what happens next.”

Karkat buried his face into Dave’s chest and sobbed without restraint. Tremors rocked him and made his shoulders shake.

Dave held onto him for dear life, his own eyes wet. “This is not what I imagined when I pictured us rocking the bed, Karkat,” he joked said, and the troll stiffened. 

“You motherfucker,” Karkat said, smiling weakly as he wiped away his teary eyes. “Can’t you ever shut up?”

“Never,” Dave answered. “It just keeps happening.”

Karkat kissed him back, speaking between his breaths. “I should leave in a storm of righteous offence after such a shameless and inappropriate innuendo,” the troll said, kissing him again. “Why the fuck do you do this to me? You make me want to throw myself down a flight of stairs.”

“I love you too Karkat,” Dave answered. This lime the four letter word came easier. It was effortless. 

“You fucker,” Karkat kissed gently at him, capturing his lips. “You are the greatest shitstain the universe has ever shit out its back end. You insolent prick. You bulgefucking nooksore. You make me want to drag my limbless body across a field of broken glass and prostrate myself to beg mercy of the drones until they allow me to crawl back up the mothergrub’s proteinchute out of absolute sheer desperation to avoid ever fucking knowing you.”

Karkat kissed him again, nearly choking on a purr that rumbled up his throat. “I give up. You win, Strider.”

Dave nearly laughed, because Karkat was ridiculous and bad at metaphors and every bit as terrible as he was about admitting emotions. Dave tugged the troll, ridiculously happy. He couldn’t ever remember being this blindingly, stupidly happy before. It was bliss. It was romance. It was a peek of the happily ever after he was so desperately clinging to. 

However uncertain the future might have been, Dave was endlessly blessed to get the chance to share this little sliver of time with Karkat and he wasn’t going to let it go to waste. 

Karkat kissed him like he was on fire. His touch was explosive and sent sparks across every one of Dave’s nerves.

Dave could feel himself flushing scarlet. His ears were burning. He drew Karkat down and kissed him hungrily as he traced the ridges of his back and kneaded his fingertips against the smooth cords of muscle that covered the troll’s back in unfamiliar patterns over flat ribs, counting each ridge of his vertebral column as he passed it. 

Karkat chirped encouragingly and Dave felt the tips of claws skitter across his skin as his shirt rode up. He could feel Karkat’s hand clamped down onto his hip and the other began a journey upwards to his chest. His head fell back as the troll kissed his jaw and he sucked in a quiet breath, fighting the urge to start cursing. His head was spinning.

Dave buried his hands in Karkat’s hair, careful not to touch his horns because he knew Karkat was insecure about them. The troll gulped down a chip, still purring as Dave nipped lightly below his jaw, nudging closer, just hard enough for Karkat to feel the pressure. Dave was rewarded by a lower, more drawn out noise almost like a breathy groan and unrestrained cursing.

Dave wasn’t thinking about anything other than the small noises that Karkat made and how good his hands felt against his heated skin. Nothing else in the world mattered. 

Dave was still mostly clinging to the troll, and he didn’t protest as Karkat corralled him backwards until he was on his back. The vulnerable position made him uncomfortable for an instant before Karkat slowly slid on top of him. “Is this alright?” Karkat asked. 

Dave paused, his hands stilling, just to make sure that he was doing okay. This was good but it was close to being too much, close to disappearing into the dark void in his mind where all thoughts of going further vanished into. “God, yes, shit,” Dave answered, breathless and rambly, his voice low and husky. “Did you know you were this good at driving me crazy?”

“I had a suspicion,” Karkat admitted, kissing him again. 

Dave couldn’t help but reach for him, seeking Karkat out in the darkness of his bedroom as he pulled the troll down onto him right as Karkat ground down with his hips and that single moment was the best that had ever happened to Dave. Every other touch paled in comparison as his breath caught with a gasp. His entire body lit up with it. His skin felt electric. 

But he wasn’t the only one gasping and there was an angry beeping from the oxygen tank on the floor beside the bed. Karkat sighed and sat back up to angrily straighten his cannula from where they’d been knocked sideways. Dave sat up on his elbows and shook his head to clear it. His brain was buzzing. 

“We should stop,” Karkat said regretfully, breathing hard. “I need a moment.”

“You can admit it,” Dave said. He stretched out beneath the troll and struck a pose, still fully clothed with his shirt rucked up around his ribs. “I take your breath away.”

Karkat bared his teeth at him playfully and mock-growled. “I will still kill you,” he said.

“Death by terrible puns,” Dave sighed dramatically. “A Heroic way to go.”

Karkat laughed helplessly as he struggled to catch his breath. The troll let his head drop onto Dave’s shoulder as he slid off of him and snuggled closely against his side. “I’m exhausted,” he said. "I... I don't think we should-"

Dave's heart felt tight as he quickly interrupted the troll. “You should get some sleep." He pulled the blanket back up and tucked it securely around the troll, completely understanding and agreeing with him. Dave slipped his shades back onto his face, instantly more comfortable with the dark plastic in place as he caught a few messages from Hal.

TT: Whatever you are doing, keep doing it. It’s working.  
TT: All vitals are holding steady. Heart rate and breathing levels are falling back to within acceptable parameters. How is he? His panic is retreating.  
TT: Your lack of response is unusual. Have you removed your shades for some reason?  
TT: Very peculiar. His heartrate and breathing are increasing steadily again.  
TT: Oh. I can guess what’s going on with you two.  
TT: I will give you some privacy. Karkat should be fine.

Dave bit back an embarrassed smirk. God. He wasn’t going to even try responding to that. Karkat rolled to the side and Dave hugged him close and breathed in the scent of him. The troll fit so well against him. It was like they were made for each other, each out of the same stardust that collapsed stars and spun new ones out of the old a universe apart. The improbability of them ever meeting had been overcome, and through all of the bullshit and the destruction that had followed the game at least it had given him this one thing. The chance to hold Karkat close to him, to kiss his hair and hear his soft breathing.

“Dave?”

“Yeah Karkat?”

“I love you too.”

Dave hid his smile in the crook of Karkat’s neck. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason this chapter is so short is because I had to cut a chapter in to bits so I would't end up with something over 18K long.
> 
> Hey look at that . 75k and these idiots finally said the "L" word. Talk about a slow burn! I warned you!
> 
> Where's that table flipping emoji when you need it?


	15. Tears and then more Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another very long chapter. 
> 
> I mean that- its like 14k or something
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Morning came softly. Dave was still getting used to waking up to Karkat beside him, but even during the few times when he floundered, confused, he was still overwhelmingly pleased to see the troll. His favorite parts where when he woke up first so that, sappy and cliche as it was, he could watch the troll sleep.

Karkat was different when he was asleep. All of the tension that he carried with him during the day fell away to reveal some soft, cuddly impostor with a face not set with a scowl as it’s default setting. Karkat looked peaceful.

Dave was loathe to wake him. His internal clock informed him that it was 4:48 am (and 16 seconds). School was still regretfully a thing that existed, but not for them. Not today. 

Which meant it was the optimal chance to sneak in a few more hours into the troll’s badly neglected sleep schedule. 

His entire outlook on life had changed. Once he could never imagine staying in bed, awake but unmoving, for the sole purpose of letting Karkat, who was turned towards him and using his chest as a pillow, sleep in.

It was amazing how miracles worked sometimes. He’d take the small things and make them grow. He’d water Karkat with his love until the troll strengthened. Dave would be at his side to catch him if he faltered. There would be no sickness between them strong enough to part them. 

With Dave’s new mindset to be nicer to himself, to show forgiveness when he messed up like Karkat was always urging him to, with his spare time while he waited for Karkat to wake up he Pestered… himself.

turntechGodhead (TG)  began Pestering  turntechGodhead (TG) at 6:55am!

TG: yo davesprite are you awake  
TG: yeah but not for long  
TG: what is it  
TG: idk weve talked a lot but never about stuff that mattered outside of the game  
TG: like  
TG: i guess i just wanted to ask you some questions since three years ago we were the same exact person  
TG: ive been wondering if id hear about this  
TG: im curious too  
TG: youre the ony other person who knows  
TG: because im you and youre basically me but minus the sweet wings  
TG: my feathers and orange creamscickle bullshit might hide them better but I have the same scars that you do because i earned them the exact same way  
TG: no  
TG: not earned we never earned that shit  
TG: how do you handle it  
TG: im guessing youre asking about the sword thing because that’s exactly what I would do  
TG:...  
TG: like  
TG: its weird  
TG: at first i hated it and I hated myself for impaling that stupid crow in the first place and then I hated you for being the dave that didn’t end up with a perma stab wound right through the sternum with the main item of our combined ptsd  
TG: and because I was an idiot in every way i thought i deserved it  
TG: worse I thought it might make bro leave me alone if I was always armed and also had sprite powers now  
TG: I thought it might make him respect me enough to stop the bullshit that’s why I went after him I had to find out if id changed enough that id be free of him  
TG: bro was many things but I never pegged him for something as uncool as being a furry  
TG: not that all furries are uncool because Jade is tight as fuck and ironic as it is I think she digs my wings  
TG: but anyway yeah that’s why I went after him  
TG: it was just bad luck that Jack powered up mid-fight because, together, we fuckin had him  
TG: we were wrecking jack’s shit. I thoguth that we were going to win for a minute I honestly did I thought that bro was going to save us all and I was fighting at his side and it was so weird it was like for once he was respecting me with a sword  
TG: then everything went straight to hell in a handbasket made of green fire and well  
TG: you know the rest  
TG: my wing took forever to grown back and it hurt like fuck  
TG: im ok with the sword thing now  
TG: there’s this weird thing about it that happened not long before  
TG: you had to be on Derse and you were in the middle of LOHAC ass-nowhere surrounded by an army of upper level imps and you asked me to protect you while you slept so you could meet with rose and work the necessary shit out  
TG: so I did  
TG: there’s all these fucking monsters everywhere, tall as fuckin skyscrapers with like three hundred teeth each  
TG: and you were just on the ground sleeping away completely trusting me not to get you killed  
TG: and theres this sword sticking out of my chest  
TG: it’s a part of my body now. its just as me as my wings or my fingerprints  
TG: and………. I didn’t know what to do but fight but goddamn  
TG: it kinda hit me then- this sprite thing, that’s me now.  
TG this sword is a part of me. it’s a tool. It can be a weapon, but I can use it to defend others. It can’t be used against me i know that  
TG: its just a piece of me that im in control of  
TG: im not afraid of it anymore  
TG: because im no longer afraid of myself  
TG: thats  
TG: wow  
TG: i dont even know what the fuck to say  
TG: remember- I had an extra three lonely as fuck months in my doomed timeline to do some grade A introspection  
TG: heres a helpful hint: Rose will help you through this if you let her I know this from experience  
TG: fuck  
TG: what about you did you tell her you must have told her  
TG: cant I ask some questions?  
TG: shoot  
TG: Why do you still type like that?  
TG: why do you not type like this i thought that was our thing  
TG: it was  
TG: the ironic coolkid stick made me sick after a while  
TG: plus on the S.S. SBAHHJ Jade thought it looked weird so now I just type like whatever I feel like  
TG: I CAN EVEN YELL LIKE KARKAT  
TG: karkat woulda used a period  
TG: fuck  
TG: my turn  
TG: question  
TG: since you seem to be eight levels more put together than me  
TG: does it get easier  
TG: Yes.  
TG: how do you do it  
TG: it actually heps that im part crow  
TG: the birdbrain part of me is a feathered idiot but he raised some good points  
TG: birds don’t waste time mourning the past- they know sometimes bad shit happens and they’re incapable of blaming themselves for it even when its heir fault so shrugging it off became easier  
TG: so every time I try to pin the blame on me the crow part screams and wont stop until I agree that it wasn’t my fault  
TG: now that agreeing has stopped being an act solely to get a crow that exists in the back of my mind to shut the fuck up  
TG: You can move past this. You’re close to that already. I think you need to tell them the truth.  
TG: Rose won’t shun you. I know Karkat wont care. Neither will john or jake or Terezi or anybody.  
TG: i think that youre right  
TG: but  
TG: how do I know if im ready for that  
TG: like  
TG: somethimes I cant even think about what we went through its like theres this void in my mind that eats every thought before I can say it  
TG: and theres still all these fuckin doubts like I know we had it bad but theres a lot of kids out there that had if a hell of a lot worse than we did  
TG: I mean he never  
TG: but  
TG: do you think that counts?  
TG: jesus  
TG: I cant even type it  
TG: That’s okay  
TG: it took me months before I could tell Rose and then it seemed like I reset the timeline immediately after I started making progress  
TG: I think rose knows something  
TG: She should have gotten some repressed memories from my version of her, though how in tune she is with such things I cant say  
TG: its possible shes more than guessed on her own as well, at least for general bits  
TG: what brought this on all of the sudden?  
TG: idk I was just lying here and I thought id bother you about some things  
TG: it just seemed like the right time for that  
TG: my week on the SBAHJ is almost up  
TG: I’ll be free in four days  
TG: I’m always here to talk with you if you cant get this out through chat  
TG: Like literally we went through the exact same things because we we’re the exact same person theres nothing to be ashamed of with me  
TG: I think we both need therapy  
TG: without a fucking doubt  
TG: I’m here if you need me  
TG: me too  
TG: see you soon davesprite  
TG: see you soon dave

Dave let the textbox on his shades fade to black. His eyes were burning but he refused to cry over a chat with his other bro. 

Except….

Maybe Davesprite was right. Maybe Rose wouldn’t look at him differently if she knew. Maybe Terezi wouldn’t think he’d been weak to hide this for so long. Maybe Karkat wouldn’t hate him.

Dave looked down at the sleeping troll still peacefully dozing at his side and revised his last thought, because he knew that Karkat would never hate him. 

It took a long time for the thoughts to form. Having Karkat there helped, even if the troll was asleep. The ideas rose to the surface of his mind like oil on water and just as slippery when he tried to grasp them. 

Okay. Dave went through the list of what he knew.

His Bro had been a fucked individual. Dave hadn’t deserved any of what had happened. He didn’t get to blame himself, not anymore. What had happened to him had been as equally fucked up as the sick and twisted fantasies Bro filmed with his smuppets. 

Dave remembered what it was like to be filmed, how it felt, the sick, nauseous knowledge that he was being watched. That nowhere was safe from Bro’s eyes and the eyes of the hundreds of internet creeps Bro had sold his image out to. 

He could barlrey remember the worst parts- he’d done a good job of blocking that shit out over the years as a form of self defense. The camera rigs. The puppets. Bro’s face, pleased for once as he drew the knife down Dave’s arm as the lighting rig caught on the blood as it beaded up. 

Bro would make him watch everything afterwards. He’d roll back the film ad let it play in graphic detail. Dave hadn’t been allowed to look away or emote or react on fear of recreating the events onscreen again as punishment. It had been a game, to see just how much physical and physiological torture a thirteen year old boy could take without breaking. Maybe if Dave had been worse at the game Bro wouldn’t have been forced to escalate, to find new and creative ways to hurt him for the sickos who paid Bro to watch. 

Or maybe Bro would have killed him for losing- that seemed more likely. Dave wondered how much his death would have been worth to Bro, sure that there would have been some monetary value associated with the event. Fuck, it would have been Bro’s biggest fucking hit. Wetwork tapes and snuff films were his specialty already- he’d bragged about the few time’s he’d showed up at the apartment drunk, the few times he’d gone too far he lean down and whisper that if Dave told anyone he’d end up as a smear on the pavement. 

So.

Like…

It was getting harder to focus. The memories kept sliding away even as they made Dave’s breath catch in fear. What was there left to do? If this were some trashy novel there’d be some part about the importance of forgiveness, but honestly fuck Bro and fuck the no-existent hole they’d thrown his body in. He didn’t deserve any fucking forgiveness, especially not from Dave. 

Almost as if he could sense the thoughts and the rising panic growing in him, Karkat stirred from his side. The small movement wasn’t much, but it pressed the troll closer as Karkat mashed his face against Dave’s chest, his grip tightening as he purred.

Dave looked at Karkat’s upturned face, the skin of his gray cheek smushed upwards from where he was sleeping so contently. It was adorable. It was precious. Karkat trusted him enough to let himself sleep at Dave’s side, and Dave’s heart nearly burst when he heard Karkat whisper his name in his sleep. 

Dave felt loved. The simple fact dove away the dark cloud hanging over him. Staying awake seemed like a stupid idea now. There were still hours left to spend with Karkat; getting up was pointless, it was irrelavent.  
Dave let his head fall back down, turning slightlfully, careful not to disturb Karkat so that Dave could better hold the troll that he cradled in his arms as he nodded off back to sleep.  
…

 

Dave wasn’t sure what had woken him up. Sleep was an odd thing for him. He stole snatches of shut-eye and kept a sword in reach, ever paranoid about a surprise puppet attack. The urge had faded with time, mostly thanks to Karkat and three years of peace, but the slightest things still sent him rocketing into awareness. He had two modes, asleep and awake. There was little in-between.

Karkat had slowly wormed away from him during the night and his back was to Dave, who wasn’t sure why he was suddenly awake. He didn’t hear anything that might have disturbed him.

A wave of red text was flashing across his shades. Maybe that did it. He checked Pesterchum as he rubbed at his sleep-filled eyes, careful not to disturb Karkat’s still form.

TT: Dave.  
TT: Dave!  
TT: Dave please wake up, wake the hell up its Karkat- God its Karkat wake up!  
TT: Godammit!  
TT: Why the hell is there no fucking alarm I can set to screaming? Why the fuck is everyone asleep?!  
TT: Please please wake up you have to help him. Dave!  
TT: Ok I’ve contacted the hospital they are on their way right now. The helicopter will be there shortly. Wake the fuck up his vitals are crashing!  
TT: God.  
TT: NO.  
TT: No no no no no no no no no.

The rest of the screen was taken over by the AI’s inherent panic, long streams of words and desperate pleas in red as it hit Dave all at once why the room was so fucking quiet. The only noise was that of his own breathing.

He lunged for Karkat. It had only been an hour and a handful of seconds since they had fallen asleep together but Dave knew exactly how much time that was for everything to come crashing down.

Karkat was facing the edge of the bed, his face slack. A trickle of blood ran from his nostrils and soaked across the sheets, smearing them with vivid crimson.

TT: Oh god oh fuck Dave please answer please wake up! I can’t get a hold of anyone else please just-  
TT: Why am I so fucking useless! Karkat is-  
TT: Please no  
TT: No

Dave didn’t even pause. He scooped Karkat up into his arms and bolted for the door in a blind panic. The transportalizer was in the helm and he flashstepped and flew, racing down the long dark hall of the lab.

TG: Hal?  
TT: Dave oh god oh fuck Dave!  
TT: I can see you now don’t worry help is on the way. I finally got through to someone he’s almost there. Get Karkat to the hospital now! Hurry!!!

Dirk flashstepped out of the shadows like a ghost and threw himself at Dave. Everything inside of him was screaming. Each heartbeat pounded fear so thick he could taste it. His panic was in overdrive, everything was sharp-coated terror, and the sight of pointed shades flashstepping towards him out of the shadows nearly made him draw a sword even as he recognized Dirk. 

Dirk wordlessly took half of Karkat’s weight and balanced his head steady as more blood poured out of the troll’s mouth. Dave still wasn't sure if he trusted Dirk or not but there wasn’t time to try and decide so he just let it happen as together they wordlessly raced to the helm. 

The familiar noise of being transported passed in an instant and Dave was at the hospital, covered in blood and shaking. The hospital was on full alert, Hal screaming through every monitor and screen in the place. A full team was waiting to receive them and Dave lurched forward to meet them. 

“I, I, I, I, I,” he stuttered, words failing him. Words were unnecessary. The doctors were waiting and they threw themselves into action. Dirk pulled him back when he tried to go after them, to follow Karkat, and the skin on skin contact was too much. Dave flung Dirk’s hand off him, his arm twitching.

Dirk didn’t look offended or chastised as he drew his hand away. His face was completely blank. “Don’t,” the Prince said. “You don’t want to see this.” His shades covered his face and Dave couldn’t read his eyes.

“I have to,” Dave said helplessly, his hands wrung themselves uselessly at his sides, knotting and unknotting endlessly. His face was the opposite of blank- he was falling apart.

Dirk squared his shoulders and rubbed at his face, pressing hard at his eyes. The move streaked vivid red blood across his skin. “Hal is with him. He’ll tell us if anything happens.”

Every second that passed was another where Dave didn’t have Karkat at his side and it was unbearable. He was coming apart at the seams.

“Nepeta is awake,” Dirk said, “Hal got to her. Everyone else will be here soon. Just, hold on.”

Hold on? Hold on to what? The gaping hole in his chest sucked and pulled at his fractured edges. 

John appeared with a zap on the transportalizer pad and lurched at Dave. His eyes were burning blue and he grabbed at the front of Dave’s shirt. “Dave?” he asked, buck-toothed and scared but solid and familiar. His presence was an immediate comfort, like smothering aloe across burns. “Dave, are you alright?”

“No,” He gasped. “Karkat is-”

“Don’t think about that,” John crushed him into a tight embrace that Dave could not stand for more than two seconds. Thankfully John released him before that happened. Rose materialized next to them and stepped off of the landing pad just in time for a flood made of everyone else to follow after her.

“I kept it mostly contained,” Rose said, her voice strained. “They all wanted to come.”

Feferi and Jane stood side by side. “Is there anything we can do to help?” Jane asked. “Please?” A nurse hurried the two life players along after where the doctors had vanished after Karkat. 

Dave had to do something. His blood was burning inside him. He couldn’t just stand here-

John drug him across the suddenly crowded floor by his cape, careful not to touch him again. “How are you holding up?” He asked.

Dave couldn’t breathe. “I’m not,” he answered helplessly.

“They took him down this hall?” John asked seriously. The narrow corridor led to the special surgery unit they had assembled for the trolls.

“Yes,” Dave said, fighting the urge to race down the hallway until he found Karkat.

“Good,” John said, and his eyes flashed blue, glowing with the symbol for breath. Power crackled across his skin. He positioned Dave at the entrance to the hallway and steered him straight. He clapped a hand down hard across Dave’s shoulder and locked eyes with him. “Dave, don’t let anyone who isn’t a staff member of the hospital past you.”

The order cut through his storm of confusion and pain with a burst of clarity. It was a request to defend. 

Dave’s inner Knight shone at the order, at the clarity and focus it brought. Finally, something that he could do. His leader had told him to defend, so that’s exactly what he was going to do. Focus on what he could do and ignore what he couldn’t.

Dave’s cape hung heavy at his shoulders and fluttered in the breeze pouring off of the breath player. 

“How’s that?” John asked.

“Better,” Dave admitted. His hands had stopped shaking. He was hit with the realization at just how terrifyingly powerful John could be, not because of his classpect, not because of his abilities. It was because of how great a leader this dorky teen could be. He understood about the game and about his friends. He knew what they needed, and he became it.

“Stay calm,” John told him. “We’ll get through this.”

Dave felt himself retreating inside. He layered himself in gaming abstracts until his panic and his pain were a distant thing. His face was a blank mask beneath his shades. Hello disassociation, his old friend. 

Fuuuuck. 

TG: hal?  
TG: how is he doing? please.  
TT: The doctors are with him. They’re working on it.  


Dave took a deep breath and steadied himself. A nurse raced up the hall and skidded to a stop when she saw him, her eyes wide and her face red. Dave flipped up his hood to hide his features in shadow under the sterile lights and let her pass. She edged around him like a hare would a sleeping wolf.

TG: how did this happen? i was right there with him and i had no idea he never even warned me.  
TT: There was no warning. He crashed all at once and he would have lost consciousness almost immediately. I cannot think of anything that might have caused this to happen so suddenly.

Dave blinked at the words on the screen. He couldn’t stop seeing red.

TG: hal  
TG: is this it?  
TT: Dave I…  
TT: I don’t know.

His hands tightened, longing for the hilt of a sword, but that was bad, that was an emotion. Couldn’t have that.

Dave minimized Pesterchum and opened his files of research. He’d much rather use a normal computer for this but his shades would have to do. He picked up where he left off, tearing through various databases in search of similar-sounding symptoms or conditions. 

The task was busy work that kept his mind off of the silence that echoed up the hall. It made him feel useful. Rose touched a hand to his shoulder as she passed, and John and Kanaya were arguing in the corner. Dirk lounged motionlessly against the far wall. Equius was checking the braces on Tavro’s legs while several different doctors observed with wide eyes. 

An hour passed, each second torment. Total universes were created and destroyed within those seconds, tiny worlds that endlessly revolved around nothing and through nothing. It was the longest hour of Dave’s life and it just kept dragging on. The night drained away in each tick of his heart.

The sun was rising outside when Hal gave him the news.

TT: Karkat is alive. He is slowly restabalizing thanks to Jane and Feferi and I have calculated that he should pull through this time.

Dave paused and closed the tab he had open on Haemophilia. His resolve cracked. Karkat was alive.

TG: how bad was it?  
TT: He is not out of the woods yet. He has been placed under a medical coma until the swelling on his brain goes down. I am uncertain of the effect the two life players had on him, but I hope that it’s a positive influence.  
TG: brain swelling?

Dave knew what had happened. He knew it from the instant he touched Karkat’s pale ashy skin and saw the color leeched from his face. He knew when he felt the chill beneath his flesh and read the raw panic in Hal’s red text. 

It still killed him to write out the words.

TG: how long was he gone for?  
TT: He died. Karkat was dead, Dave.  
TT: His heart had already stopped by the time the doctors got to him. It took them nearly half an hour to restart it. He was on a respirator and they diligently kept with the CPR but that is still a long time to be without a heartbeat. Even on a human the outcome and extent of the possible damage would be uncertain. With a troll I just don’t know.  
TT: I hope that Jane and Feferi can hold off any major complications.  
TG: can you tell me the whole story? i need to understand  
TT: I wish I had the answers. Karkat is currently drifting in a sea of medical mystery that even I cannot untangle. He has lost a lot of blood and that’s also a major problem. They located a ruptured vessel near his bronchials that needs to be closed but at the time a reparative surgery is not an option with him so anemic.  
TT: The bleeding on his brain is receding, most likely thanks to our Heroes of life.  
TT: He is currently being held in stasis by the best medical tech the planet can offer, plus two life players. There is a chance that he could recover without suffering major loss of motor skills or cognitive function.  
TG: what about the next time?  
TT: Dave.  
TT: Karkat will not survive a next time.  
TG: i know  
TG: we keep cheating the game and we kept buying him more time but did we ever actually change anything? i hoped to the furthest ring and back that there was a chance we could beat this but we didn’t and we can’t  
TG: we just can’t  
TG: so now what do we do? what can we do?  
TT: Dave no one has tried harder or tried more than you have. At the end you managed to buy him more time than he ever would have received otherwise, and with that time you gave him something even more important.  
TG: what was that?  
TT: You gave him you. You gave him happiness and love and acceptance. You gave him the knowledge that it was all not in vain. You made him feel like his existence was valid.

He sucked in his breath and glanced away. He was not going to cry. Striders didn’t cry. 

TG: why the fuck does he get so little time? who the fuck decided that karkat has to die?  
TG: fuck im a fucking god of time and i only bought him a few months. i feel like i didn’t do anything but prolong his suffering  
TG: fuck you’d think that we could fix this. hell, we’ve broken planets and wiped out species and resurrected friends and can each fight off armies alone you’d think that all of us and all of the powers we have combined could solve this one little thing but no  
TG: like the instant we go up against something we can’t hit or simply blast out of existence we’re suddenly just a bunch of scared kids again in way to fucking deep over their heads.  
TT: I am sorry Dave. I am so sorry.  
TG: don’t be. you were fantastic today. you saved his life for sure  
TG: when can I see him?  
TT: That might not be a good idea. He is still in bad shape.  
TG: hal.  
TT: I’ll see what I can do.  
TG: thank you. ill owe you for this one.  
TT: You don’t owe me anything. I gladly and freely offer my help and assistance.  
TG: still  
TG: thanks  
TT: Don’t mention it.  
…

Dave hunted down the head doctor first.

She was alone in her office, her white coat stained and her face lined with exhaustion that her third espresso of the hour couldn’t erase. She still let him in when he knocked at her door.

“Dave,” She sighed. “I was wondering when I would see you.”

He blinked past her at the empty room. “You were expecting me?”

“Always,” she motioned for him to enter. “You never give things up.”

“I just want to understand,” he said. His hood was still up and he knew he looked nothing like a normal teen at that moment.

“Don’t we all?” She muttered sadly.

“What can you tell me?”

“I can tell you that this does not make sense,” She stated plainly. “It’s no infection or growth causing this. Chemical imbalance? Genetic abnormality? Your guess is as good as ours on that account.” She shuffled through a rack of papers littering her otherwise neat desk and leveled him a deep look of sorrow. “I can’t explain it. At first Karkat presented nothing more than the symptoms of a severe asthma. Loss of breath, sudden episodes of spontaneous lack of blood oxygenation but without any swelling or cytokinetic responses. Bad but overall manageable and certainly not deadly.”

“What changed then?”

“Nothing,” The doctor explained. “His condition progressed almost like it was mutating. He began experiencing episodes of crisis similar to humans with Sickle Cell Anemia, still with no discernable trigger. Then these attacks began producing volumes of blood expelled from the lungs almost as if his body is actively rejecting it.”

“What can be done then?” He asked.

“Honestly?” She threw up her hands and shrugged. “Nothing. If it’s something auto-immune that’s physically and so violently rejecting his blood there’s nothing we can do. He needs blood. Karkat might not classify as a mammal or even as strictly warm-blooded, but he runs off blood same as the rest of us.” She paused and then took a seat behind her desk, her actions slow and aching. “We’re just trying to lessen his pain as much as we can.”

“How long does he have?” Dave asked.

She shrugged again, helpless. “Weeks. Days. It could be very soon.”

Days. Such a short amount of time. Days. The Condense was days away. Would Karkat live to see that?

“If it’s down to keeping him comfortable,” Dave said, and the words burned in his mouth. “What can I do to help?”

“It would help if we could stop the internal bleeding,” she admitted, “But without blood such a procedure will likely kill him. We can’t give him more because each troll’s blood varies according to color. We couldn’t synthesize more of his own because all of its proteins are either unknown, not found on Earth, or cannot be medically copied. We had trouble even storing the single transfusion that we had on hand! It can’t be chilled so we were forced to keep it at his internal body temperature, which did nothing but degrade the proteins faster and unwind plasma membranes!”

Something she said struck a chord in him. “So he needs blood but you can’t get more?”

“In practice and in theory,” she agreed, her face frustrated and exasperated.

Dave froze as he considered her earlier words. Could it work?

“Is there any way I could get a sample of his blood?” He asked quickly, the idea a bright fire inside him. “Enough for a proper transfusion?”

She stared at him, sensing the change. “To take more now would weaken him,” she told him.

“But what it I could make you more?” Dave said excitedly, “What if I could make all you would ever need?”

“But you can’t just make blood,” She protested. “Even with whatever probably alien technology you’re thinking of. That’s not how it works.”

“Mam,” he leaned forward. “That is exactly how it works.”

He couldn’t believe that no one had thought of this before. Sure, it wouldn’t fix the problem. But it might help just enough. “I need a sample.” He said.

She shot him a look, her face highly skeptic but growing warmer to the idea. Hope could be contagious. It spread like any sickness. She held up one slim finger. “I will give you exactly 50 cc’s,” she warned, “No more and no less. If you think you can pull off a miracle for us, then you better get to work, you useless god.”

Dave smiled as she ordered the blood drawn through intercom.

TT: What are you planning?  
TG: are you familiar with a hail mary?  
TG: it’s a sports thing. you bat the birdie up the court in a last ditch effort to get it into the endzone past the goalie  
TT: I know the term enough to recognize that none of that was true or made sense. You just mixed together five separate sports into a single mangled sentence without pause.  
TG: you can be hells of impressed at my godlike sports knowledge in a minute. ive got my first official miracle to whip up and serve fresh to the masses.

A nurse knocked on the door and the Doctor relieved her of the small vial. She held it out to Dave. “I’d tell you to put of gloves first, but I can guess that’s a moot point.”

Dave studied the glass vial. Yep, definitely Karkat. Nowhere else had he seen such a volatile shade before. It was warm in his hand, deceptively fragile. He took a deep breath as he held up the vial to the light. He should probably call Jake first because he really hoped this worked, but the knowledge that the blood wouldn’t last hurried him.

He captchalouged the small vial before the doctor’s eyes and it vanished neatly into his sylladex. Now for the hard part.

The inventory system used by the game was invisible, intangible, and painfully arbitrary. It was governed entirely by game logic and fetch modus’. It was indescribably useful once mastered enough not to do stupid shit like accidentally launch a shitty sword through a crow.

He focused on the captcha card with the bloodvial, and with a sideways twist of thought he plucked it out of his sylladex. It took a physical shape in his hands, stamped with the vial across the front and currently locked from accessing the item stored. He held his breath as he flipped the card over.

“Hell. Fucking. Yes.” He said, and his feet lifted an inch off the floor out of sheer excitement. Across the back of the card was a legible 10 digit code. 

turntechGodhead (TG) began Pestering  ectoBiologist (EB)!

TG: hey john are you in the lab still i need a favor from a blue windy trickster  
EB: yes I am in the lab. What kind of favor?  
TG: i need you to alchemize a veritable shit ton off of the code im about to send you then you need to bring it here to me at the hospital as fast as you can  
TG: it is hero time and im tired of fucking around lets do some good.

He send the code and John immediately recognized what it meant and responded quickly. Hal kept him updated, his electric excitement transferring through the text that shivered through his shades.

He let the card fold itself back into the non-physical realm it existed on and let the bloodvial drop back into his hand. He set it on the desk in front of the doctor with a grin. “You can have this back,” he said. “I’m getting the rest delivered via Air de Egbert.”

The entire wordless exchange took place over his shades. To her he’d never so much as moved as he pulled a few card tricks. She quirked one suspicious eyebrow at him, very Rose-like.

“See,” he explained, “It’s a thing that’s simple in practice but in theory is goddamn impossible. You’re just going to have to roll with me here.”

The airvent overhead banged open and a gust of wind blew down it. The papers on the doctor’s desk scattered in the sudden breeze. John materialized in the middle of the office, a blinding grin stretched wide across his face.

Dave nearly face-palmed. “John,” he deadpanned. “You could have used the front door. There was no need to turn into wind like a fickle idiot.”

“I’ve got it!” John said triumphantly, still floating. “And I wanted to fly and avoid the armed guards. This is like a stealth mission- deliver the package to the target unseen.” He wiggled his eyebrows, each one out of sync. What a glorious doofus.

“Okay, let’s get shit done,” Dave said, and John nodded eagerly. “Where do you want the blood?” He asked the doctor.

She rapidly glanced between the two of them. John was still floating vertically, his blue windsock dangling freely. Dave could almost see the instant where she gave up trying to understand and decided to roll with it.

“How much do you have?” She asked, her hands fiddling to gather up the papers John’s arrival had scattered. 

“Ten pounds,” John declared proudly. “Around three dozen vials in total.”

The doctor paled. “Excuse me?” She said weakly. 

“Yeah,” John said, and he waved his hand before her face. A red vial appeared between each knuckle. They rolled and bounced across the backs of his hands as he juggled them. “I didn’t know how much you would need so I brought a whole pile.”

John handed her a vial and she cradled it in her hands. “Is this real?” she asked. “As in, medically safe?”

“It’s legit,” Dave promised. “You can store or use all you need.”

She clenched the vial in her fist. “I’ll need to run some tests,” she said, her voice suddenly hurried. “Then we can schedule the surgery if this is indeed a viable blood sample. I’ll get the team together immediately.”

TT: I have already contacted them. They have assembled within the lower lab and are awaiting further instructions.

Hal’s words blinked a cheery red from her computer screen. The head doctor sighed in exasperation. “I still don’t get all of this,” she said, “But with this maybe we can get some last words out of him.”

The reality set in then. Last words. His joy drained away. The blood wouldn’t fix anything. At most it would only buy more time.

She must have read the words in his face. “Trust me,” she promised solemnly. “You’re going to want those last words. Every second we can buy him will be worth it.”

Dave swallowed thickly. 

“You,” she snapped her fingers at John. “You have the blood? Come with me.” She ordered. She tugged Dave along as well, John bouncing off of the walls behind them.

She led them down the hall, down the stairs, and through a doorway. The lower labs were deserted until they reached the last room. The Doctor swiped her keycard and let them in. 

The other six doctors were waiting with an army of nurses in scrubs.

“What is the meaning of this message we received?” One asked. “Are we really going forward with the procedure?”

“Maybe,” she said, “And if we are it’s going to be rather soon. Please ready the surgery unit for me,” she said, sliding a sample of ungodly red blood beneath a microscope.

“But,” someone protested, “Without a transfusion-”

“We might have just found enough transfusions to go through with it,” She answered, “Now wait,” she peered through the slides with a critical eye, but Dave wasn’t worried. The alchemized blood would work.

TT: The mass spectrometer records no abnormalities when compared to previously saved samples of Karkat’s blood. It is an exact match.

“Well,” She said, scanning the results the machine printed out for a second opinion. “Wilson, prepare for the operation. We have a direct viable match.” She whipped around at John. “Cough it up. I need all of that blood loaded into the warmer as soon as possible. James!” she turned on another doctor. “Combine the vials into enough for at least four transfusions and have them readied for use.”

John began spilling vials of blood across the lab table and available counter space. They quickly piled up as he stacked them like he would a house of cards. Just as fast nurses began taking them, no time to question the laws of physics that were obviously being ignored. They knew not to look gift blood in the mouth.

The head doctor briskly took Dave aside as the lab got to work. “Listen,” she said. “This might not work.”

“I know,” Dave said.

“He might not make it through the procedure, even with the blood,” she said. “We haven’t preformed anything on one of the trolls before. I only have the basest clue about how his inner anatomy is put together and how it’s generally structured.”

“I know,” Dave said.

“This is a shot in the dark,” she told him, her grip hard on his sleeve. “I just want you to be aware of that.”

“I know,” Dave said.

“No, you don’t, but you’re trying to,” she sighed. “Here,” she pressed a key into his hand. “He’s in room 11b. You can stay with him until the surgery begins.”

The brass key was cold. It was a plain thing, nothing special. He held it like it was made of glass. “Thank you,” Dave said.

She left him, spun away back into the frenzy of activity in the lab as they readied themselves. They armed the doctors with scalpels, the nurses with sutures. It was a different kind of fight they were preparing for, but Dave recognized it all the same.

11b was a hot room. A space heater cranked out air on full-blast from the corner to keep Karkat comfortable. The troll was stretched out across the thin cot and covered with a white blanket. His eyes were closed and a tube was taped across his cheek. Its other end vanished down his throat. A fitted oxygen mask was banded to his face, and every forced breath hissed through the respirator. A steady beat came from the heart monitor overhead.

Dave approached the bed with caution. He half-expected Karkat to sit up and start yelling at him.

“Karkat?” Dave asked. There was no response. 

Dave had seen pictures before of zoo animals at the vet. Tigers and lions, asleep and stretched out beneath the bright white and sterile lights. The sight of them was unusual and unnatural, so far removed from their normal environment that the disconnect was startling. It was a sight that simply shouldn’t exist.

Seeing Karkat like this was worse. It was wrong. Karkat was not something that laid limp and unresistant. He wasn’t something that didn’t respond when his name was called.

Dave moved closer. Karkat’s face was slack beneath the mask, his skin pale and ashy. It made the bags beneath his eyes all the more noticeable. Wax and wane, the planes and angles of his face were too sharp and his hair was dull. Dave’s heart was hammering in his throat was he gently reached out and took his hand, careful to avoid disrupting the IV line taped across the back. The troll’s fingers were nearly cool to the touch.

He hadn’t really understood until this point that Karkat had died. He had been dead, for a long time, then they had forced him back into this failing body that would continue to fail. This was Karkat without his fire. There was no spark of rage or anger in this small and fragile shell.

Just yesterday he had been awake and alert, shooting off his mouth and yelling as he stalked the meteor. They had kissed and cried and held each other close and still Karkat lay dying before him like a joke with no punchline.

Dave’s fingers were trembling, his breath came in quiet gasps. The walls spun. Everything he’d been blocking out resurfaced with a crushing vengeance. A tidal wave of pain rose up to drown him.

He fell to his knees beside the bed, unable to do anything but collapse under the weight of his own foolishness. There was no amount of alchemized blood that could fix this. He’d seen roadkill that looked healthier and more lively than Karkat. 

He knelt beside the bed and held Karkat’s hand to his lips as silent tears raced down his face. Dave cried. He finally cried. He cried until he couldn’t breathe for it and then he cried harder. His heart broke right there on the tile floor. He could almost hear the shatter over the beeping of all the tubes and wires that were all that was keeping Karkat alive.

He stayed like that until the doctors came for them. He wiped away his tears and stood. His knees protested in creaks and pops. He felt hollowed out and empty with hurting. Wasn’t there some saying that crying made you feel better afterwards? Bullshit. Crying only made him feel that much more miserable as they wheeled Karkat away.  
…

 

Vriska hovered over the building and stole all of the bad luck away during the surgery. Jane and Feferi linked hands until green light flashed between them. Rose cast spells of clarity and fortune over the attending doctors. John forced Dave back to the meteor and all but locked him in his room. 

“We will tell you when it’s over,” the Heir said. Dave didn’t argue. He knew they were worried about him too.

Hal let him know immediately when it was safe too.

TT: Karkat is alright. He made it through the surgery without any complications. It went rather well, even better than expected. Karkat remains stable and the breech has been sealed and what damage they could fix repaired. Scans show that the swelling on his brain is almost all gone and thanks to you and John his blood levels are approaching normal again.

More time. That’s all this was. The chance for more time.

TT: I guess that the positive influence of a Thief and Seer of Light and two Heroes of life was enough to see him through.  
TT: It has only been a few hours and he is already struggling to return to consciousness. They fear upping the dosages to keep him under too much, even if being awake isn’t exactly optimal for him right now. They’ve begun weaning him off of the anesthesia now. He should wake up within the next few hours.

Dave wanted to sing the news from the rooftops. He wanted to do a fly-by on the actual sun itself and grind down the length of the Great Wall of China on Unreal Air. All he could do though was draw in a deep breath through his nose and bow his head. Karkat had made it out of surgery.

TG: when can i see him?  
TT: I’ll call for you once he wakes.  
…

 

It took another six hours for that to happen, then another one before the doctors would let him in the room.

Much hadn’t changed. There were still the wires and tubes and mask, but the respirator was gone and Karkat’s eyes were open.

“Dave,” he croaked, his voice weak and wheezy.

“You look like shit,” Dave told him, relieved just to hear his voice again, to see his eyes open even if they were almost drowning in ultra-vivid crimson by now.

“Go… fuck yourself,” Karkat breathed out, and he flipped Dave the bird. The troll’s eyes were slitted and heavy. “You’d feel like shit too. If you were me.”

“Congratulations,” Dave said, his throat tight. “You can now join Kanaya in the ‘died but came back’ breakfast club. I hear it’s a highly exclusive event. Motherfuckers all lined up in red waiting for their RSVP invite to fall from the heavens and-”

“Dave,” Karkat said, softly. “Stop.”

The words died in his throat. Karkat had an electrode glued to his temple and they’d shaved off some of his hair in the back. There were thick bandages wound across his chest.

“How are you feeling?” Dave asked.

“Did they really poke around inside me?” The troll asked, wincing as he tugged at his IV line.

“Yep,” Dave answered. “I guess trolls don’t really do surgery.”

“Humans are fucking weird,” Karkat said, his eyes on the ceiling. There was more color in his cheeks with the transfusions, but not enough to cover up the shadow of sickness. “I’ve been cracked open.”

“Here,” Dave decaptchaloged a plush black pajama shirt from his sylladex and handed it to the troll. “I thought you’d like this.”

Karkat fussed with the wires looping into him uncomfortably as he reached out for it. He pressed the fabric to his nose and inhaled deeply, taking in the comforting scents of Dave and the meteor lab and himself. “Thanks,” he croaked. “It smells like shit in here.” He hugged the garment to his chest.

There was a thick silence.

“Dave?” Karkat asked.

“What?”

“I died.” 

Dave didn’t answer. What was there to say?

“I died,” Karkat repeated, “And they brought me back.” He sounded so emotionless about it. Flat. Dead. 

“It’s not that uncommon here,” Dave told him. “Earth healthcare is fucking amazing like that.”

Karkat didn’t respond. He just kept staring at the ceiling. He looked so worn down. “How long was I asleep for?” he asked. The oxygen machine hissed quietly. 

“Over 35 hours in total,” Dave answered immediately. “Why?”

“It doesn’t feel like it,” Karkat answered. His eyes slid down to lock on Dave’s.

“What do you mean?” Dave asked, concerned. “Are you hurting? Are you in pain?”

“Yes,” Karkat answered. His eyes were glazed with it. 

Dave’s throat was tight. “We can fix that,” he said. “I can get some more meds and-”

“Dave,” Karkat interrupted. “I am tired.” He said. “I am very tired.”

Dave felt his tears start up again. He blinked and felt a hot one slid down his face.

“Just let me sleep,” Karkat whispered, and his eyes closed as he lost the strength to hold them open. “You don’t need to… keep doing this to yourself.”

Dave stood there helplessly, his shoulders shaking.

“It’s okay,” Karkat said, exhaustion weighing down his voice. “Just let me sleep.”

There was nothing else that he could do. He had reached the end of several universes and it was still not enough.

“You can sleep,” Dave promised, broken. “I’ll be right here with you.”

Karkat motioned for him to come closer and he obeyed. “Don’t leave me,” he pleaded.

“I won’t,” Dave promised. “I’ll be right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Karkat, his eyes still closed, scrunched over in the narrow bed to make room for him. Dave hovered upright and floated over. He gently settled beside Karkat, not daring to set his weight down. The troll leaned his head on top of his chest. He felt so light. Dave wrapped his cape around them like a blanket and a broken and weak purring started low in Karkat’s chest until he winced sharply and the sound died. 

“Get some rest,” Dave told him gently. “I’ll be right here when you wake up.” He pressed a kiss over the electrode mark they’d shaved Karkat’s head for. “I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this'll be that last of the Big Sad for a long while- I'm not actually a horrible person I swear. 
> 
> So much happened in here. I cried while writing this chapter. In a lot of ways this whole bit was the part that made me set this fic aside for over a year because I knew how much writing it would hurt. I hope I did the scenes the justice they deserve, and I’m sorry for making AG also cry when I first sent it to her. We both cried. It was great and terrible and I hope everyone can forgive me for it…


	16. Let's get things straight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: I’d like to say, as a large animal pre-vet senior, that this chapter makes the part of my soul wherein resides my love of comparative biology and physiology throw a fit. It’s fun to make up alien genetic illnesses and crap like that. Fite me.
> 
> I actually have a lot of issues with this particular chapter, but meh

apocalypseArisen (AA) began Trolling turntechGodhead (TG)!

AA: isn’t there s0mething else y0u sh0uld be d0ing dave?  
TG: aradia. i was wondering when you would pester me ive been dying to hear what sweet jokes you have at the ready to distract me from reality for a few blissful moments.  
AA: n0 j0kes this time  
TG: shit i thought you loved death and dying youre like deaths #1 cheerleader  
AA: but i am als0 a time player and a megid0. i can hear the dead and c0mmune with them.  
AA: karkat is n0t the dead but i can tell he will be s00n.  
TG: why do i feel like theres always something youre not telling me?  
TG: fuck aradia out of all of us its always been you- youre always one step ahead of the curve before it slams into us.  
AA: 0_0  
TG: what do you know?  
AA: karkat will n0t die t0day dave. y0u can relax ab0ut that.  
TG: what did you mean about something else i should be doing? even if its not happening today its happening pretty fucking soon. what i should be doing is staying my ass right here with him and refusing to ever move  
TG: which is exactly what im doing currently as we speak. i didnt make any other plans for the day besides to schedule in another block of angsty crying after lunch.  
AA: d0n’t be afraid. death is n0t the end.  
TG: youre the only one of us that gets the luxury of saying that.  
AA: but y0u want to make a difference?  
TG: fuck yes  
AA: d0 y0u think that y0u can?  
TG: i used to but now i just dont fucking know anymore. half the time i dont even know which way is up.  
AA: i’ll give y0u 0ne hint.  
AA: if death is n0t the end, then what is the beginning?  
TG: birth. hatching. idk were both time players space is the aspect for all of that. not fucking us were all about endings.  
AA: 0_0  
TG: quit it with the sp00ky face i dont understand just help me please  
AA: f0ll0w y0ur heart.  
TG: oh fuck look everybody aradia is back on her vauge and spacey AF bullshit that is in no way actually helpful to anyone.

twinArmageddons (TA) has joined the chat!

TA: hey fuck you dave don’t iinsult aradiia  
TG: im not even going to fucking ask how you knew we were even talking or that i insulted her in the first place  
TG: ill give you a second to scroll up so you can read for yourself first-hand why i was justified in my actions.  
TA: hold on…  
TA: … yeah aa what the fuck?  
AA: 0_0  
TA: you can’t pull that 2hiit with me.  
TA: dave ii2 exactly riight for once iin hi2 life 2o 2piit iit out. can you help kk or not?  
AA: it is uncertain. the 0utc0me is hidden fr0m me. since y0u b0th find my help s0 very unhelpful i’ll ask y0u this-  
AA: s0llux, what d0 y0u kn0w?  
TA: doom ii2 the 2hiitiie2t a2pect for 2ure.  
TG: you sure about that?  
TA: 2hut the fuck up dave not right now.  
TA: aa ii can fuckiing hear hiim ii2 that what you wanted to know? ii can fuckiing hear my be2t fuckiing friiend’2 iimmiinent doom and there’2 nothing that ii can do two 2top iit 2hort of meltiing my own thiinkpan.  
TA: You know that aa. you know that ii’ve never been able two 2top iit. goddammiit!  
TG: you can hear him now?  
TA: he’2 just 2o fuckiing quiiet dave. ii never thought even once that iif ii ever have the 2hiit luck two hear kk he’d be 2o fuckiing quiiet about iit. ii iimagiined 2creamiing and general 2houty rage a2 the 2hiip went down.  
TA: iit’2 wor2e than hearing hiim fiight. He’2 goiing out wiith a whii2per.  
TA: ii wouldn’t fuckiing beleiive iit iif ii wa2n’t hearing iit wiith my own ear2.  
TG: aradia please  
AA: F0ll0w y0ur heart.  
TA: you know what? fuck dave wa2 riight. aa you’re being an a22hole.  
AA: find the beginning and g0 fr0m there.  
TA: aa don’t you care about hiim?  
AA: i care about all and n0thing. i care ab0ut what needs t0 happen next.  
AA: i d0 care deeply ab0ut all 0f us, especially y0u s0llux, but there will be things that must happen next 0therwise it w0uld have all been in vain.  
AA: karkat will understand.  
TG: fuck you  
TG: you dont get to write him off like that.  
AA: then wh0 does? Wh0 are y0u really mad at dave?  
TG: fuck you. just- fuck i dont know.  
TG: i don’t know!  
TA: ii can’t beleiive you’re acting like thii2 aradiia  
TA: ii know you liike the death-faiiry thiing and that you were dead for a few 2weep2 but 2eriiou2ly?!  
TA: not cool maybe remember that everyone i2n’t a2 cool with fuckiing dyiing a2 you are.  
TG: wait  
TG: aradia what are you trying to tell me?  
AA: if y0u can remember that y0u might have a chance.  
TG: wait hold up  
TG: whats the beginning?  
TA: ii give up trying to under2tand the two of you. fucking tiime players. why do ii get 2o tangled up wiith them?  
AA: n0t what’s. wh0’s.  
TG: motherfucker.  
AA: i will leave y0u n0w. i pr0mise b0th 0f y0u that Karkat will last until t0m0rr0w.  
TG: and after that? like that’s not a deadline is it?  
AA: 0_0  
TG: ive got to go.  
TG: aradia, thank you.  
AA: d0n’t thank me yet dave. karkat is g0ing t0 die. n0thing in all 0f existence can st0p that fr0m happening.  
TA: that’2 fuckiing iit. no more 2tupiid tiime player 2henaniigan2 iin thii2 chat ii’m kiiliing thii2 riight now. dave, just go do 2omethiing useful. aradiia, where the fuck are you? we need to have some word2.  
AA: i am 0utside of y0ur bl0ck n0w.  
TA: fuck.  
TA: okay good riiddance two thii2 chat log.

twinArmageddons (TA)  has blocked  turntechGodhead (TG)  and  apocalypseArisen (AA)  from responding to the chat!

Dave sighed and scrubbed at his eyes. They ached from squinting at the screen in his shades for so long.

Karkat was sleeping peacefully at his side. The troll was slowly gaining strength again after major surgery, but it was gradual. The next attack loomed overhead like the blade of the guillotine, but they were in a valley now and Dave would take what he could get.

He felt no loops pulling at him for completion. Time was calm and easy in his mind as Aradia’s words tore at him. What was he supposed to do? The HIC was four days away and Karkat might not survive until that happened.

Karkat stirred when he eased away. The heart monitor overhead was beeping gently. “Where are you going?” The troll asked.

The hospital walls were pressing in on him. He felt stir-crazy. Dave reassured him, his heart pounding. “There’s something I’ve got to do,” he said, his throat tight. “I’ll be back soon.”

Karkat curled up around the space Dave had left and fell still again. “Don’t be too long,” he said, his eyes closing again.

“I won’t,” Dave promised, and he closed the door behind him.

He went back to the lab. That was as good of a beginning as any he could think of. This meteor was where the teams had first met face-to-face. It was their home for three years. His cramped room with its spaceport of glass and steel and rock was more of a home to him that his old room in Texas had ever been. It was the first place he had ever truly felt safe.

Rose had stripped his bed while he was at the hospital, removed all evidence of Karkat’s blood. He sat on the bare mattress and felt how its familiar dips and lumps fit his body exactly. He’d had enough of lying around though, so he went to his desk and brought up his computer.

The screen waited blinking for him to begin.

Begin where? Who’s beginning? His? Karkat’s? The universe’s?

He pulled up a word document and wrote-

In the beginning there was a frog.

He deleted the line and let out a noise of frustration. He tried again.

A young man stands in his bedroom-

No. None of this felt right. His thoughts were errant bees, buzzing around aimlessly in confusing patterns. Locating the beginning was an impossible task. Time was a huge concept that didn’t run in a single unbroken line. There was no beginning, not for him or for the trolls. It went back too far for that.

He started writing, just to capture his thoughts on screen and pin them down to study. He identified the problem.

Issue: Karkat’s unfair lifespan. 

Causes: His blood. A sickness. The color red. Troll society as a whole. The HIC. Hemocaste bullshit. The game. Sburb. Cancer. A virus in the coding of the universe. Hate as the lifeblood of a universe. Karkat hating himself. Karkat hating everything. Mutant. Red. The game. Jack Noir. LOPAH. Knights in general. Mutation. Fatal genetic flaws. Cancer of the zodiac. Him. Crabs.

Fuck it. This was getting nowhere. Circles within circles, that’s all this was. He knew all of this already, tied all the red strings into a knotted ball pinned on the corkboard of his mind. He turned back to his files of compiled research.

It wasn’t actually cancer. Of that they could be certain. Leukemia sucked ass but at least it was understood. This was still a great unknown fucking them all in the ass again and again. So, not cancer.

Genetic disease was most likely. Karkat was a mutant. That couldn’t be ignored. He understood why the trolls had no experience with such a thing before. Mutants didn’t get to exist and sick trolls lasted less than five seconds on planet Alternia because that place was the child-murder capital of all existence. The problem was that they had nothing to go on.

Wait.

His mind was racing. What if they did? Dave knew Karkat wasn’t the only recorded red-blooded mutant off-spectrum troll. There was another.

He immediately began pestering Sollux.

TG: sollux do you have a minute i need to know some old alternian history  
TA: go bother ed then. he’2 the hiistory nutcreature not me.  
TG: fine

turntechGodhead (TG) began pestering caligulasAquarium (CA)!

TG: yo  
TG: sollux said youre the history troll and i had a quick question  
CA: sol said that?  
CA: i guess i am. fef’s a close second though- we had the same schoolfeeds  
TG: is karkat the only mutant ever recorded  
CA: its bloody rare for sure, but there’s one other troll in the histories that had the redblood mutation  
CA: things still didn’t end well for him  
TG: what happened?  
CA: the HIC had him publicly killed, what did you expect? he tried to start some lowblooded cult or something there was like this whole war shark about it  
CA: they failed just so you know  
TG: but that’s what killed him right? the hic?  
CA: yeah, why are you askin?  
TG: ill be right back

Dave went eagerly back to Sollux’s chat, hoping to lure the troll in.

TG: its about illegal history and i was hoping that you hacked it while on planet.  
TA: what are you talkiing about?  
TG: its just this thing eridan told me about. karkat mentioned it a few times too. the red cult. he said it was all hells of illegal and just knowing it meant graphic bloody death.  
TA: well he was fuckiing right. ii never fucked with data that cla22ifiied out of a love of my head 2tayiing on my 2houlder2. fuck dave, even thiinkiing about that creep2 me the fuck out even now.  
TG: you never got curious? even once?  
TA: ii diidn’t know iit’s relavace to karkat at the time. iif ii’d known he wa2 a mutant then yeah 2ure whatever. ii’d of hacked iinto iit, but karkat was 2uch a harda22 about typing in gray 2o ii diidn’t and iit’s a moot poiint now.  
TG: how long ago did the red cult happen?  
TA: iin human tiime?  
TA: over 20,000 year2 ago.  
TG: great sweet how old was the sufferer when he was executed?  
TA: jegus dave you just can’t 2ay the name liike that!  
TG: dude chill nothing’s going to happen.  
TA: yeah ii know but fuck.  
TA: iit’2 e2tiimated that he was 15 2weep2 old at the tiime of hii2 death.

Dave sat back in his chair. Karkat wasn’t even 8 yet. That’s like 35 in human time for the Signless.

TG: karkat said he was the ancestor? like all 12 of them got sent back as grubs just like our guardians?  
TA: ye2. why are you a2kiing?  
TG: he was a mutant too.  
TA: ye2 you have 2olved thii2 great my2tery! the famou2 mutant traiitor wa2 iin fact an actual mutant! color me fuckiing 2hocked.  
TG: sollux youre the smart one you tell me what it means. get your bi-coded brain to work  
TG: he was 15 sweeps, and he was killed by the hic. karkat’s not even 8  
TA: holy 2hiit.  
TA: oh fuck.  
TA: FUCK  
TG: g2g ill get back to you later i think i might be on to something.

Dave closed the tab before the hacker could reply. Hal still butted in through his shades.

TT: I think I follow your train of thought.  
TG: so you can see it too? what does it mean?  
TT: It could mean very little Dave. Especially with no proof.  
TG: follow your heart, aradia said. find some fucking beginning to this clusterfuck.  
TG: well you fucking know what? i think i just fucking did.

Dave knew where this all began. Not with Karkat. Not with his ancestor. Not before that. This was before the game.

It started with blood. Blood was the beginning. Blood was the common factor that tied all these things together, because wasn’t that what blood was all about? Bonds? 

Karkat was a mutant blood player. It made sense. It made a whole lot of fucking sense. He was also a Knight. A Knight of Blood.

What had Sollux said earlier to Roxy? The words rose to the front of his mind.

“Kniight2 and Priince2 have planet2 that are out to get them. iit2 just more gamiing bullshiit 2kia throws at them. iit’2 probably a mechaniic to make them 2tronger iin the long run but iin actualiity just fuck2 them over even more.”

Dave could attest to that fact. Skia just loved throwing shit at its Knights and Princes. And wasn’t that the whole basis of Godtiering? Die to get stronger? That was a fucked up gaming construct if there ever was one. He remembered the doctor’s words. 

“His condition progressed almost like it was mutating”. There it was again, blood and mutation. 

Karkat was a mutant. He’d fucked up his session’s genesis frog and gave the universe cancer by the mere fact of his existence. His burning self-hatred had woven itself into the fabric of the world. His was the fatal flaw, a coding error in a game that was spiraling further and further out of control. CarcinoGeneticist marked him as this group’s ectobiologist the same as John’s chumhandle did, but with an embedded cancer joke. Vantas was even a fucking cancer drug. But it wasn’t cancer- it was corruption, more errors that just kept piling up until the sessions had collided. Sburb was a broken cycle that just kept spinning deeper and deeper into chaos, the cause and effect of the breakdown of reality.

Dave sucked in his breath with a hiss.

“It makes as much sense as the rest of SBURB does. i.e, very little”, Hal had said.

Dave knew these things for a fact.

1\. Karkat’s exact genetic duplicate had not had any sort of genetic disease. His health had been fine up until the HIC had decided to relieve him of his life.  
2\. The game thought long-winded and fucked up situations that led to death were a fine way to make Knights and Princes stronger through overcoming it’s bullshit challenges. Knights had to face the music about all of their deepest insecurities and self-doubts, which either killed or saved them in the end. Karkat’s greatest source of self-doubt and hate? His bloodcolor.  
3\. Karkat’s condition medically made no sense. When viewed using logic and common sense it was a mess. But when viewed through the game…

Karkat Vantas, Knight of Blood. Had any of them ever grasped at what that meant?!

Things began to click into place, pieces of some terrible cosmic puzzle shuffling itself into order until the true picture was revealed.

turntechGodhead (TG) opened memo [halle-fucking-lujah] and invited [All you fucker2 ] to chat!

TG: guys i know what’s wrong with karkat.  
TA: hold on ii think ii’m on the 2ame page as you dave. my thiinkpan ii2 2creamiing at me for not 2eeiing thii2 fuckiing 2ooner. iit make2 2o much more 2en2e than a random-a22 genetiic condiitiion. fuckiing 2kiia.  
TT: I am also up to speed with all these things.  
TT: And I fear that you are correct.  
TA: holy fuckiing 2hiit that’2 iit. we fuckiing found iit!  
EB: what are you three talking about? Karkat?  
EB: did you find some thing new?  
TA: fuck ye2. dave’2 a geniiou2 ii take back every negatiive thiing ii’ve 2aiid about the guy.  
TG: hell yes man  
GG: I’m a little lost guys.  
TT: Can you please enlighten us poor plebeians with your knowledge? I think an explanation will suit this situation quite well. It must be something huge. Please don’t get my hopes up for nothing. I’m running out of sharp rocks to dash my joy against.  
TG: its ok rose i think this is true. hal? sollux? are you both still with me?  
TT: I believe that I can sum it up.  
TT: There is no sickness. There is only the Game.  
TG: yes karkats mutation isnt what’s killing him its just a side effect  
CG: WHAT THE GRUBFISTED FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?  
TG: skia is ruled by a gaming construct that centers around the belief that in order to progress, you must make sacrifices. a good example of this is godtiering- literally dying in exchange for topping the escheladder.  
TG: knights and princes especially have to suffer in-game. its a mark of the responsibility given to us as the dominant fighters of the team. blood and breath are the aspects of the people, so they’re often the leaders. karkat you get a double hit because youre a knight of blood.  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?  
EB: I suddenly under stand every thing!  
EB does that mean that we can save him?  
CG: ARE YOU REALLY ABOUT TO FUCKING TELL ME THAT THIS IS ALL IN MY HEAD? FUCK YOU ALL. I’M LITERALLY DYING THIS IS NO TIME FOR FUCKING JOKES.  
TA: kk iit’2 not iin your gene2. iit’2 a gamiing ab2tract that ii2 doiing thii2 to you. that’2 where the corruptiion ii2. the game ii2 in your blood.  
TG: its just another bullshit challenge sburb throws at us because it likes forcing kids to die for its whims.  
CG: YOU ABSOLUTE MOTHERFUCKERS!  
CG: …  
CG: ...  
CG: I KNEW THAT.  
CG: OKAY?  
CG: OKAY I HAVE ALREADY FIGURED THAT OUT. IT DIDN’T MAKE SENSE THAT THIS WAS SOME GENETIC DISEASE DOING THIS. I FIGURED IT OUT AGES AGO.  
TG: then why the fuck did you not tell us!  
TA: YOU 2HIIT-FACED MOTHERFUCKER I’LL KIILL YOU MY2ELF!  
TA: you 2elf-2acrifiiciing douchebag! how COULD you?  
GG: karkat…  
CG: I DIDN’T TELL YOU BECAUSE IT DOESN’T CHANGE ANYTHING! WHAT’S THE USE LEARNING THIS NOW? THERE’S STILL NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO ABOUT IT. I’M STILL GOING TO FUCKING DIE.  
CG: ALRIGHT? THE GAME HAS DECIDED TO JUST FUCK UP MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE, THEN KILL ME OFF OUT OF A SENSE OF SHAME FOR EVER ALLOWING ME TO CONTAMINATE THE FABRIC OF REALITY IN THE FIRST PLACE. I GET IT. I’VE KNOWN THIS FOR PERIGREES.  
CG: FORGIVE ME FOR TRYING TO SPARE ANYONE ANY FEELINGS. HONESTLY A FEW OF YOU SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED THIS OR AT LEAST FIGURED IT OUT BEFORE THINGS GOT THIS FAR. NOW YOU SEE WHY I WAS SO AGAINST COMING HERE IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE!  
CG: I’M DOOMED ON EVERY CONCEVABLE LEVEL! STOP BEATING YOURSELVES UP ABOUT IT OKAY!?! JUST LET IT FUCKING HAPPEN ALREADY SO YOU CAN MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIVES! I AM NOT WORTH IT!  
TT: This was my fear. I do not see how knowing this changes anything, especially when we have no confirmation on the validity of the theory. At the very least it complicates things because we were all banking on the fact that medically there still might be some solution.  
TT: We all want to save you.  
CG: WELL HAR FUCKING HAR. I’M DYING DEAL WITH IT.  
TT: I felt your heart stop. I can count every second in which you were dead.  
TT: Well fuck me I guess for attempting to care. You obviously don’t. Not anymore. Well I won’t watch you kill yourself.  
TT: I haven’t even known you for that long. But Dave? Gamzee? Terezi? Show some pity for them and act like you think your life matters because to them it does! I am sick of you hating yourself! You and Dirk both!  
TT: Can’t you see what it does to everyone around you?  
TT: Fuck you.  
TT: Fuck you Karkat Vantas for saying that you’re not fucking worth it. Did you even think about how badly saying that would hurt Dave or did you just not care about that either? Too caught up in hating yourself were you?  
TT: Well I have had enough!

timaetusTestified (TT) has conditionally banned himself from responding to the memo!

TA: holy 2hiit.  
TT: That is not a good sign. Sorry, I’ve never seen Hal act like this before. There must be a bug in his emotional processing center.  
TG: no the fuck there’s not! hes behaving normally that was a normal response in a situation like this what the fuck  
TG: what the fuck!  
TG: karkat  
CG: FUCK.  
TG: you  
TG: you…  
TG: i dont know i cant even think of anything to say to that except FUCK NO.  
TG: hal is exactly fucking right. how fucking dare you say that your life doesn’t matter?!  
TG: you dont get it  
TG: youre not allowed to hate yourself any longer. not for another fucking second! if i get a whiff of self-hatred from you im flying so far of the handle it will be legendary. all other instances of flipping the shit will pale beneath the mount everest of bitch-fits that i will throw.  
TG: youll have to dig my incredulous torso out of the core of the planet after the glorious swan-dive i will perform off of the handle.  
TG: you too dirk! im coming for you too! youre also on my flipping the shit list!  
TG: karkat how dare you think your life doesnt matter?  
CG: FUCK DAVE. I’M-  
TG: no stop right there.  
TG: i havent even gotten to the good part yet. when did i ever give up on you?  
TG: ill fucking answer that for you. i havent! ever! so you’re not a-fucking- llowed to give the fuck up on yourself you glorious bastard. you are not allowed to either hate yourself or die  
TG: yeah thats the big reveal right fucking there  
TG: congratulations karkat. youre not dying from a fatal genetic illness and guess what? you not going to die at all because hal may have been right about how useless knowing the truth is but that doesnt matter if im right  
TG: and im on a roll right now so i think i am  
TG: karkat i think i know a way to save you.

timaetusTestified (TT) has conditionally unbanned himself from responding to the memo!

TT: You do?  
AA: dave yes! y0u did it! that’s what i was trying t0 tell you!  
AA: death is the beginning!  
TG: actually thats not what i thought at all aradia  
TG: seriously? could you have been any more cryptic?  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?  
TG: karkat i am going to save you.  
TG: listen up everyone- here’s the plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quowthe the swaggy raven, yolo


	17. With a Bang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This particular chapter has so much crap that happens in it. It was one of the hardest to write. 
> 
> But it has some good moments.

**48 hours until her Imperious Condescension’s expected arrival.**

Dave didn’t need a clock to help him keep track of the seconds until Her flagship broke into Earth’s orbit. His heart was a timer, each beat another tock ticked down to the great unknown that was racing forward at him.

He tried to keep his focus. Shit was going down. 

Jade took her stance in the air above the lab. Her dress flowed with galaxies and her striped stockings flashed. Her hair spilled wild and free from beneath her hood as she held a small orb in her hands.  
The Witch of Space hung the orb in the sky and stepped back, sizing it up between her hands. The orb grew. And grew and grew. The small speck of gold contained within lengthened and gathered size, became a rod, then a pole. It became clear what it was once it passed the size of a car, then a full-sized semitruck and just… kept… going.

Jade slowly snapped it back to its original size and the blast of massive drums shook through the air.

The White King’s battleship looked magnificent hovering above the meteor. The glittering remnants of gold embellishments caught and held the light beneath the graffiti scrawl and war paint added by Davesprite and his crew of consorts. It hung long and proud, a solid mass of metal and weapons above the green treetops.

The American military was losing its actual shit over the battleship. The airspace around the lab had technically been declared a no-fly zone, baring the medical helicopter, so in reality they could do jack shit about it by their own rules. Terezi was laughing in the background over it.

Consorts shook makeshift weapons from the bow and yelled in a menagerie of amphibian and reptilian voices. They swung from the rigging like swashbucklers and chanted the beta kid’s names. 

Dave cranked his head back to gaze at it as Davesprite winged his way down in a blur of neon orange feathers. Jade met him halfway with a shriek of joy and they fell to earth like a star.

Davesprite was laughing as he tangled himself around Jade. “Long time no see,” he said, grass caught in his hair from the crash landing. His broad wings lifted and flexed behind him.

“Davesprite!” Jade yelled happily, hugging her arms around him.

“Is it good to be back on earth,” the orange sprite said, his smile wide and easy. John flew into the two of them and fell into the tangle with a streak of blue. Rose fell into place, her orange robes a near shade to Davesprite’s everything. They made a beta kid pile across the grass in front of Dave.

“Dave! Get in here!” John called out, breathless with giggles.

Dave stepped back, his cape flutter the only warning before a huge gust of wind shoved him forward and Jade seized him by the ankle. He was unceremoniously drug down into the mess. Traitors. 

He ended up with an orange feather in his mouth and Rose’s legs squished up against his side. An elbow knocked against his head. But… this was good. He felt happy, not cramped and overloaded.

“Guys,” Davesprite said, “Easy, there’s enough of me to go around.” The end of a long orange tail nearly knocked his shades crooked.

Dave gave in with good grace and pulled Rose closer as she grinned widely with sparkling purple eyes.

The Prospitian ship overhead cast a long shadow. “Wow I can really smell all that gold,” Terezi said, sniffing. “Is that the lemony scent of Hella Jeff I detect?”

“It sure is,” Davesprite said. “The lead ion cannon is the only thing still offline. Everything else is fully operational and read to kick some verified HIC ass.”

Gamzee let out a honk from the trees and a bird shrilled its displeasure at the noise and began scolding him with chitters. The troll slunk back into sight, eyes upward at the massive floating battleship.

“Ion canon? Hell yes!” Vriska shot upwards at the ship on glittery wings. “This I’ve got to see.”

Rose rolled her eyes. “I’ll try to reign her in,” she said, and the Seer left to intercept the other light player before too much havoc could be wrought. 

Dave stared at the ship, at this Skian war machine flying over the trees in nowheresville Illinois. It was a breathtaking sight. 

“Okay y’all,” Davesprite said, “What’s the plan?”

“How ready is your crew to fight the flagship?” Sollux asked, skeptically assessing the consorts crowding over the edges of the ship. “Consorts tend to be… scatterpanned.”

A salamander fell overboard. John zipped off to catch it before it hit the ground. He carried it back to the ship, intending to set the little dude off on deck, but the many consorts shrieked with joy and several dozen hands drug him down. The breath player vanished over the edge of the ship.

“Good riddance,” Dave said, deadpan. “Serves him right for that breeze trick.”

“Well,” Davesprite shrugged. “Guess we’re missing John now. He’s been taken in. Those salamanders have been dying to see him again and they’ve got him now.” His grin was wicked and light. It was still strange to see his own face so open, like that of an expressionist ready to throw down. “They might not ever let him go.”

Jade laughed. “We’ll have to go free him eventually,” she said. 

The Mayor tugged at Dave’s cape excitedly. He pointed upwards with a question.

Dave answered him. “John’s been taken hostage by the consorts,” he said. “Do you think you can negotiate a deal for his freedom?”

Wayward Vagabond rubbed his hands together thoughtfully, then nodded.

“No need for that,” Davesprite said, “The Mayor is already a senior officer on board, if you want it, that is.”

The Dersite gestured at himself. Davesprite nodded. “Yep,” he said. “Head officer of the Peace, in charge of democratic solutions over consort affairs.”

“Sweet,” Dave said, genuinely pleased. The Mayor considered the offer seriously. The carapace agreed with a wordless and noble dip of the head. Dave’s heart hadn’t felt so light in weeks. The game was on and the plan was falling into place.

“What’s next?” Davesprite asked. 

Dave straightened up. “Jade?”

The Witch glowed with green fire. “I’m going on a scavenger hunt,” she said wickedly, cracking her knuckles. “I’ll be back in time for dinner!” She promised, then vanished in an instant.

“Scavenger hunt?” Davesprite asked as Dave got a message from John in his shades.

ectobiologist (EB) began pestering turntechGodhead (TG)!

EB: Guys help! They have got me!  
EB: hehehehe I missed these little guys. They’re extremely happy to help out. What ranking system did you use, Davesprite? These hydraulics are top notch.  
EB: Davesprite the ship looks great! Wait I just saw my bed sheet walk past hold on-

Dave felt himself smile. “John’s fine,” he said, touching the side of his shades. “He’s impressed with what you’ve done up there.”

“He’d better be,” Davesprite ruffled up his feathers. “I put blood, sweat, and tears into that thing. All that’s left is for Hal to wire himself in, and for Sollux to help out with the last cannon. It was pretty damaged and I just can’t get the thing to work after the nakodiles crammed it full of raw meat that one time.”

“They did what?” Rose asked delightedly, machinations spinning in her eyes as her mind ran with the idea. 

“Don’t act like your turtles are innocent,” Davesprite quipped. “They’ve formed a necromancy cult in your name and keep trying to sacrifice the salamanders.”

That was when Dave burst out laughing. It was just too good. Rose’s nose wrinkled as she struggled to contain her laughter.

“Well,” Dave pulled the sprite into an embrace that was full of feathers. “You’re just in time for the fun.”

“What fun is this?” Davesprite asked. A helicopter began to creep closer, the red cross down its side wavering as it stalled in front of the massive ship like a gnat before the flycatcher. 

“I think they’ve found their loophole,” Rose said grimly.

“Boonbucks to them,” Terezi grinned and sank the blade of her cane into the grass. “I do love a good loophole.”

Rose sighed. “Let’s go calm them down before they become too hysterical.”

“One sec,” Dave said, shooting John a message.

TG: dude you might want to fly back now. obama’s going to blow a gasket and the leaders-only chat needs you.  
EB: ok let me turn in to wind really quick. I’ll be there in a moment!  
EB: can I bring casey?  
TG: your call on that dude.

John threw himself overboard in a gust of wind and solidified in time for the helicopter to touch down.

Davesprite edged closer and drew his blade, his wings spread wide over the group as he assumed the position of a mother hen.

“It’s cool dude,” Dave said, “Can you blame them though? This shit is unreal levels of cool.”

The spinning blades slowed to a halt and their friendly neighborhood armed guard poured out to meet the assembled trolls, kids, lone cherubim, and sprite in the shadow of the golden ship lurking overhead.

“What is the meaning of this?” A guard demanded, gesturing upwards in shock. “Where did this ship come from?”

“Jade’s left front pocket,” Davesprite deadpanned, and the guard did a double-take at the sight of orange feathers and snaky tail. 

“It’s okay guys!” John promised, “It’s ours. No danger here.”

Rose lifted one eyebrow. “Did you really expect us to go up against the Empress’s flagship woefully under prepared and all but unarmed?” she asked. 

“Yeah,” John said eagerly. “Ask Obama. He knows all about the Prospitian battleship!”

“Does he now?” The guard spit out. Dave could nearly hear the man’s teeth grinding together.

Rose pulled a screen from her sylladex and turned it to them in time for the words to appear.

americanCommander (AC) has joined the chat group [EXCLUSIVES ONLY!] with ectoBiologist (EB) and carcinoGeneticist (CG)!

EB: the battleship is out and the base is kind of freaking out about it  
EB: lend a hand?  
CG: OH MY FUCK DO I NEED TO CRAWL OUT OF THIS HOSPITAL AND GET MY ASS OVER THERE? I FUCKING WILL DON’T TEST ME JOHN. BARACK, I THOUGHT WE HAD AN AGREEMENT?  
CG: WHAT’S UP WITH THE WELCOMING PARTY?  
AC: They are simply observing the proceedings in a way that breaks neither agreements or the no-fly rule. They will not interfere with whatever vital proceedings I was assured would not endanger the lives or property of the American public.  
AC: I hear you have assembled a plan to help with your health, Karkat?  
CG: JUST MAYBE. I’M STILL NOT FUCKING SOLD ON IT THOUGH, AND I SEE THAT DISTRACTING SUBJECT CHANGE FOR WHAT IT IS.  
EB: if it works things might get a little crazy around here.  
EB: your soldiers might get hurt in the proceedings if they get too close.  
AC: Very well. I will order them withdrawn before that happens.  
EB: you really want a good look at this ship don’t you? It’s crewed by over a hundred consorts!  
CG; SHUT UP JOHN! HE’S NOT SUPOSSED TO KNOW ABOUT THE OTHER ALIENS.  
CG: WAIT DAMMIT!  
AC: should I be concerned by this?  
CG: NO, CONSORTS ARE HARMLESS. THEY’RE NOT EVEN REALLY ALIENS. THEY’RE GAME CONSTRUCTS ENGINEERED FOR PLAYER’S PLANETS.  
AC: I remember you mentioning them before but I was under the impression that the planets were no longer in play?  
EB: They’re not, technically at least. Jade has been keeping them safe for us! Dave sprite picked a few of the best consorts to man the ship with him so we have a better chance at dueling the HIC’s flag ship!  
CG: JOHN FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING HOLY KEEP OUR SECRETS FUCKING SECRET! DON’T MAKE ME REGRET ALLOWING THESE DOCTERRORISTS TO KEEP ME PUT IN THIS HEALTHBLOCK WHILE YOU LAUNCH THE SHIP WITHOUT ME.  
CG: BECAUSE I WILL BREAK OUT AND FREE MYSLEF IF I HAVE TO. I WILL DRAG MY LIMP AND USELESS MEATSACK OVER THERE ON MY HANDS AND STRUTPODS TO STRANGLE YOU.  
EB: sorry karkat!  
EB: it’s okay Obama we’ve got every thing under control : )  
AC: Somehow I’m beginning to doubt that.  
CG: SEE WHAT YOU FUCKING STARTED!

Rose turned the screen dark before the chat could progress much further. John’s fingers were still typing away as he and Karkat argued privately. “See?” John said, “Everything’s cool.”

Dave got a ping from the open memo board [Operation Rearisen].

gardenGnostic (GG) has joined the memo!

GG: I found the first one! I’m moving onto the second now.

Dave felt his tense shoulders ease. Maybe, just maybe, he could make it through today. He had his friends at his sides and a plan in his heart. For the first time in a long time he left himself feel hope. Maybe he could fix everything in one fell swoop. Maybe not everything had to end with shit and with blood and with suffering.

The sun was shining and Dave wasn’t ready to give up. And he sure as hell wasn’t ready to let go.

**36 hours until the HIC’s arrival.**

It took Jade longer than expected to return. Dave kept Karkat updated through Pesterchum. The troll was seething about being out of the loop, but physically Karkat was still too weak to leave the hospital. Sollux had reinstated the viewport feature for him, so at least Karkat could watch what was going on as the command center of the lab exploded into a flurry of heightened madness. A cheer went up as Jade located #3.

[Operation Rearisen] memo board is active!

GG: sorry guys. This is taking longer than I thought -_-  
GG: its harder than I imagined! I wish I had a map that would make this so much easier  
EB: don’t worry jade, you’re doing fine  
EB: we’re all cheering you on  
CG: HARLEY I RESCEND ALL DOUBTS I HAD IN THIS PLAN. IF YOU CAN PULL THIS OFF…  
CG: I DON’T THINK THERE’S ANYTHING THE GAME CAN THROW AT US THAT WE CAN’T HANDLE. KINGS AND DOGS AND FROGS ALIKE- WE CAN FUCKING HANDLE IT.

The last item proved the hardest to find. It was in the early hours of the morning that it was located, not that anyone had dared to fall asleep.

GG: guys I found it! I have them all  
GG: I’m heading back now : ) !

Dave had barely finished reading the memo before Jade popped into the center of the lab floor, her ears raised and her grin wide as her dress settled around her.

Rose clasped her hands to Jade’s and pulled Roxy into the mix behind her. Dave’s heart was a drumbeat. His blood was pounding. 

“Not tonight,” Jade said, yawning. “I have them with me, but nothing’s going to happen tonight.”

“At dawn,” Rose agreed. “The rise of the morning’s light. It is the best time to work.”

“All right everyone!” John called out at the crowd of assembled players, “Get to sleep! We’re all going to be up bright and early in a few hours so grab some rest while you can.” A chorus of groans and a few curses followed his words.

“Come on,” Terezi shouted, “There’s no way any of us can sleep right now, why wait?”

“Because the pyrotechnics involved will be all the more noticeable at night,” Rose answered. “We’re trying to do this as silently as possible.”

“That’s the goal,” Davesprite said seriously. “We fly under the radar. Paradox Space won’t know what hit it.”

“We have a massive fucking warship outside and you’re trying to be sneaky?” Vriska was quick to join Terezi. She scoffed. 

CG: FOR THE LOVE OF GOG GET THE FUCK TO SLEEP! WHAT USE WILL ANY OF YOU FUCKS BE IN THE MORNING IF YOU’RE TOO BUSY YAWNING TO LOOK OUT FOR THE RETRIBUTION THE GAME IS SURE TO TRY TO ANNIHILATE US WITH? PLUS THE HIC WILL BE HERE SOON.  
CG: I’M THE ONE HYPED UP ON HUMAN SEDATIVES BUT I’LL STILL BEAT YOUR COLLECTIVE ASSES IF YOU DON’T FALL INTO FUCKING LINE.

“You heard the guy,” Dave said, “hit the z’s.”

They began to trickle away. Jade was drooping from the day’s exertions as she headed to her room. Davesprite watched her go, his feathers uncomfortably ruffled. Dave nudged his alt spriteself with an elbow. “You’d better go after her dude,” he said, nodding after the hallway the Witch had vanished down. “Jade likes to cuddle, and if you don’t go after her she’ll just pop into your room later once you’re half-asleep and give you a heart attack.” 

Davesprite’s face cleared and the tiny feathers lining his hair smoothed. “Thanks,” he said. 

“Strider’s stick together,” Dave answered solemnly. “Now go get her.”

Davesprite’s wing lifted and he swooped off, intent on hunting down Jade. Dave watched as the end of the guy’s tail vanished around the corner and he shook his head. The idea that Jade was with Davesprite wasn’t an odd thought. He’d crushed on Jade for years before the game. Life was fucking weird that way. 

He’d loved Jade first. She was the one who had brought the four of them together. He still remembered the first time he saw a green chumhandle in his inbox: ‘hi dave!. He never even asked how she’d known his name. She’d introduced him to Rose and John in turn, back when all he could think about was this wild girl all alone on an island with a hellhound at her side and a rifle in her hand.

He’d loved Rose too- in a different way. A part of him must have always known she was his ectotwin, the matching part of himself. She was spooky and goth and obsessed with knitting and elder dark gods, but she was a steadfast friend and she always knew exactly what to say.

John was his 13 year old self’s gay crisis. It never progressed past the dull realization of ‘oh shit can’t let Bro know I’m into dudes too’. John was just so loveable and open and outgoing. His dorkiness was strangely magnetic and engaging. John had become his best friend. He’d even gifted Dave with the shades he never took off.

Dave entered his room and fell down into his bed, still empty of the one he loved the most. He curled around the space left by Karkat’s absence. His nose was too weak to detect any lingering peppery scent of the troll. The lonely hole crunched tight around his chest as he repeated the mantra he’d drilled into his head and his heart all day.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow. It’s all happening tomorrow.

All he had to do was hold on for one more day.

**30 hours until the HIC’s arrival.**

Hal helpfully splashed the words of the chat across his shades with some light hacking. 

TT: Why are you interested in seeing this chat? I know that Karkat will keep you updated with any major developments.  
TG: distraction  
TT: From what?  
TG: from myself. theres too much going on right now you know? gotta tune myself out with mindless but important distraction and theres nothing as mind numbing as another one of karkats long, rambling, and generally pointless memo boards  
TG: just until i can feel my heart beating again. i cant feel my face and its weirding me the fuck out. im in sensory overload hell. i might overdose on pure psychosis and its burning out my brain so much I cant think.  
TT: I’ll help out. Just let me bring up the chat for you.  
TT: One sec.

timaetusTestified (TT) has conditionally opened chat [EXCLUSIVES ONLY!] for a incognito turntechGodhead (TG)!

americanCommander (AC) has entered chat [EXCLUSIVES ONLY!]!

Incognito turntechGodhead (ITG) has entered chat [EXCLUSIVES ONLY!]!

AC: What have you done? The power grid is down across the entirety of the Midwest! I’m receiving reports that a darkness fell across the sky and blocked out the sun. People are tweeting about the end of days!  
CG: IT IS NOT OUR FAULT THAT YOUR GENERAL POPULOUS TURNS INTO JUVENILE IDIOTS AT THE FIRST OPPORTUNITY PRESENTED. REALLY, ITS NOT EVEN THAT BAD. WITH THE ACUTE GARBAGE YOU CALL YPUR TELEVISED ENTERTAINMENT I’D EVEN CONSIDER THIS TO BE A FUCKING IMPROVEMENT.  
EB: sorry Obama! We’re sorry about the power grid. That was not our plan.  
AC: What in the name of Christ are you doing? Our satellites have lost all communications with the entire region. The White House is currently running blind.  
EB: don’t worry! Every thing is under control  
CG: JADE ISN’T REALLY SURE WHY THE WK’S SHIP IS INTERFERING WITH THE POWER GRID OF YOUR PLANET. IT’S LIKELY A SIDE EFFECT OF REALITY WEAKENING AS WE READY THINGS TO BREAK THE GAME WORSE THAN ITS EVER BEEN BROKEN BEFORE. SOLLUX SAID IT’LL HELP US DRAW THE HIC IN AS WELL, WITH OUR SIGNALS BEGING THE ONLY ONE BROADCAST IN THE REGION.  
CG: THE UNSTABLE POCKET DIMENSION JADE CREATED FOR THIS WORLD WAS NEVER MEANT TO LAST. IT’S BEGINNING TO FRAY AROUND THE EDGES.  
AC: That is not heartening. How long do we have left?  
CG: LONG ENOUGH TO GET SHIT DONE.  
CG: SKIA WILL RUE THE DAY IT DECIDED TO TAKE A SHIT ACROSS MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE. I’M ALMOST EAGER FOR THE CONDESCENSION TO ARRIVE. I SPENT THE LAST FEW PERIGREES DOING NOTHING BUT LAYING AROUND USELESS AND DYING AND I AM GOING TO DEVASTATE THE SORRY MOTHERFUCKERS WHO THOUGHT THAT KILLING ME WOULD GET ME OUT OF THEIR WAY. I’M FUCKING TRAPPED IN A TREATMENTPLATFORM AND WEAK AS SHIT BUT I’LL FIGHT HER MYSELF AND DON’T YOU DARE THINK OTHERWISE.  
CG: WELL THE JOKE IS ON THEM BECAUSE I’M FUCKING PISSED NOW. THEY’RE GOING TO REGRET NOT KILLING ME PERSONALLY IN THE SCARCE FEW SECONDS OF CONSCIOUSNESS GRANTED TO THEM AFTER I REMOVE THEIR HEADS FROM THEIR SHOULDERS.  
AC: then I take it that the plan to help cure you is shaping up to work? Will it actually save you?  
EB: no one knows. We’re going to try though.  
GC: IF THIS WORKS I PROMISE NOT TO SCREAM AT EVERYONE FOR A WHOLE FIVE SECONDS. THAT IS, ONCE I HAVE RECOVERED MY LUNGS FROM THE PUDDLE ON THE FLOOR IN WHICH THEY NOW RESIDE.  
CG: I HAVE MISSED SCREAMING SO MUCH JOHN YOU CAN’T IMAGINE HOW HARD IT’S BEEN.  
AC: I am glad to hear that Karkat. I’d ask how you plan on achieving this new health goal, but I have a feeling that…  
EB: sorry. game things  
CG: EXACTLY.

**24 hours until the arrival of the Empress of Alternia.**

Dawn.

Daylight streamed cold and clear through the trees. It was ripe with newness and endless possibilities. Rose had been right. This was the best time to try and break the game even worse than they had before.

“Are you sure about this?” John asked.

Davesprite shrugged. “I’m pretty sure, but I won’t know until I see them. Gaming bullshit, you know?” The sprite sounded nervous. it made Dave's stomach churn. 

“Do you think anyone’s done this before?” John asked. His blue eyes were clear.

Davesprite laughed sadly. “John,” he said. “There’s never been a session so badly coded like this one before. This is the first of a lot of things. There’s no way to know how some things will play out.”

Jade took a deep breath that mirrored Dave’s own. The clearing full of the gathered players stool still as Jade decaptchaloged the loot of yesterday’s scavenger hunt.

Four stone slabs lay in the grass, each one ancient and cracked. The air above them shimmered like heat waves off summer blacktop. Four familiar symbols were carved into their centers.

The green growth of Life, the blank vacuum of Void, the white wings of Hope, and the half-filled sigil of Heart.

The Quest Beds of the Alpha team, plundered off of their planets and relocated to Earth.

“Void was the hardest to find,” Jade said. “It did not want to leave its tower.”

“I’ll bet,” Davesprite whistled, bird-like, and set a hand gingerly on the edge of the Life bed. The clearing held its breath as the sprite assessed the functionality of the beds.

“Well?” Dave asked nervously, his heart in his throat.

Davesprite shook as a tremor rocked him. His wings lifted and beat at the air as his tail whipped behind him. Power glazed across the sprite’s skin. With a snap his clawed hand left the stone surface of the Quest Bed as he was launched backwards by a burst of energy. He rolled and popped back up, feathers ruffled as he coughed. “Yeah,” he wheezed, “They work.” Several of his feather’s looked frizzled and uneven. “Hey,” he joked, “How do you piss off a quest bed?” He paused for a moment for full effect. “Just be a fucking sprite. They hate that.”

Anxious, strained giggles. Jane’s team was looking at the beds like they’d reach out and bite.

It was official. Dave was the worst person who ever lived. The reality of what his desperate idea meant settled into his bones like ice.

“You’re sure?” Rose asked seriously.

“Yes,” Davesprite answered. “Quest beds work across aspects regardless of class. Any Hero of Life can use this.” He went to put his hand back onto the green and gray bed, then thought better of it.

Karkat pestered Dave through his shades with a wall of gray text.

carcinoGeneticist (CG) opened memo board [Operation Rearisen]!

CG: OH NO YOU DON’T!  
CG: THERE IS NO WAY THAT I’M LETTING THIS HAPPEN WITHOUT ME. FUCK THE HOSPITAL AND FUCK THIS SLEEPLATFORM AND FUCK EVERY LAST DOCTERRORIST IN ALL OF EXISTENCE. I STRICTLY FORBID ANYONE FROM SO MUCH AS SNEEZING AT ONE OF THOSE FUCKING BEDS WITHOUT MY WRITTEN PERMISSION! DO NOT DO IT!  
CG: NEVER MIND I TAKE IT BACK. THIS IS THE WORST PLAN WE HAVE EVER COME UP WITH. WE SHOULD GET RID OF THOSE THINGS RIGHT THE FUCK NOW BEFORE THE GAME REALIZES THAT WE STOLE THEM AND TEARS OUR HEADS OFF TO SHIT DOWN OUR EXPOSED THROATS FOR FUCKING WITH IT!  
CG: OH FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING? THIS IS GAMZEE LEVELS OF HIVESHIT MAGGOTS! ARE WE REALLY THAT DESPERATE?  
CG: WE CAN’T KILL EACH OTHER. DIDN’T WE LEARN THAT LESSON THE FIRST FUCKING TIME SOMEONE GOT FRIENDMURDER HAPPY?!

“I’d better go get him,” Dave said. “I’ll be back soon.”

“You’d better take some reinforcements,” John told him logically. “He is going to be pissed.”

Dave couldn imagine it and it wasn’t a pretty picture. 

“I’ll go,” Sollux sighed. “I can help drag him back.”

Dave was thankful for the help. The psionic might be the only other troll that might convince Karkat to not fight back in between their normal sparring and shared verbal abuse. The hospital was a quick transportilizer trip away. Dave stopped by the head doctor’s office to sign Karkat out.

“I don’t agree with him leaving,” The head Doc told him sternly. “His chest hasn’t healed from surgery and moving him could cause the stitching to tear, not to mention infection risk and general stress.”

“I could just kidnap him,” Dave shrugged. Really. They couldn’t do anything to stop him from taking Karkat.

She eyed him suspiciously. “What are you planning?”

Dave signed his name to the form, then foraged both John and Karkat’s signatures beneath it with a smirk. “Hopefully?” He handed the paper back to her. “A way to save him.”

Sollux snorted from the doorway. The doctor turned on the tall and angled troll, equally displeased.

“I hope this plan doesn’t involve you melting your brain?” She demanded.

“Only a little,” Sollux answered, shameless as he blinked red/blue eyes at her.

She groaned and rolled her eyes. “I should call security on the both of you,” she muttered. “You’re a risk to your own health.”

“After today we’ll be out of your hair,” Dave promised.

“That’s what worries me,” she said, but she led them down the hall and into room 11b. 

Karkat was waiting and furious. His eyes were burning in his ashy face and his shoulders were slumped. He was very nearly burnt out, but he was still aware enough to yell through Pesterchum and growl weakly at Sollux when the other troll flipped him off by way of greeting.

“Dave,” Karkat said, “you can’t be serious.”

The doctor held up a thin needle, “This is just a relaxant and a light sedative,” she said. “If you’re being moved it’ll be better for everyone involved if you’re asleep. It only lasts a few hours.” She tapped the needle to dislodge any bubbles and advanced on the bed ridden troll.

Karkat’s eyes widened and he struggled away from her, his heartrate spiking on the monitor. “Don’t you fucking dare put that in me,” he growled weakly. “I am sick of sleeping. I can fucking handle it.”

“Watch your fucking language,” Sollux scolded. “This human has helped you to keep your infuriating ass alive for us, so hey, maybe don’t be a complete tool.”

Karkat made the switch to Alternian without a pause. The threats and graphic insults sounded a thousand times worse in his native tongue as they rolled and clicked through his throaty shrieking. Dave choked back a laugh.

God. Even dying Karkat was a loud motherfucker who shrieked colorful insults at anything that dared to move. Dave floated over next to the troll and held him close. “It’s okay,” he said, “You won’t even feel it.” He distracted the troll so the doctor could flush the needle’s contents down his IV line. Dave set his lips to Karkat’s ear and whispered in his very best Alternian, ‘flushed for you’. The words sounded strange on the way out, but the game made sure he would be understood as Karkat froze. Praise be unto the Gift of Gab because Alternian was an absolute mess of a language and the impossible words would have been out of his linguistic reach otherwise. 

“That was cheating,” the troll declared as the doctor emptied the sedative into his veins.

“What’d he say?” Sollux asked, wagging his eyebrows knowingly as Karkat blushed weakly. The goldblood smirked and Karkat groaned and buried his face against Dave’s chest.

“I hate both of you,” Karkat said, his eyelids closing. “I don’t want to… miss anything. You can’t make me sleep.” His head started to loll back.

“You won’t,” Dave promised. “You won't miss a thing.”

“Fucker,” Karkat breathed out, already going limp.

Dave pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek right before the troll lost consciousness, and Karkat stiffened and rocketed back into full awareness with a vengeance.

“No,” Karkat swore, a small and wicked grin on his face. “Not this time motherfuckers. Did you think your earth drugs would work against me?”

The doctor checked the needle, her brow furrowed. “Try counting back from ten,” she said helpfully.

“Oh no,” Karkat said, his eyes wide. “No more fucking sleep. I’m staying the hell awake.” He bared his teeth and his claws tried to pry the medical cuff from his thin wrist.

“Can he do that?” Dave asked the doctor.

She shrugged. “Maybe? He’s always fought against the sedatives, but we’ve always managed to make them work before.”

“I have figured out how to fix that,” Karkat said triumphantly. “Nothing can put me to sleep ever again! I stayed awake for 600 hours in our session on my burning rage alone. No medicine can stop me now.” Karkat was on a roll, his voice regained a bit of its former volume. “Me and sleep will continue to dance around each other in ever-widening circles, neither one making any progress. I am unfuckable. You cannot put me the fuck to sleep. I refuse! I’ll stay awake for another 600 hours if that’s what it takes to-”

Red and blue sparked through the air and popped Karkat squarely in the forehead. With a start his eyes rolled obediently up into his head and he fell limp.

“To be perfectly honest,” Sollux said, lowering his hand from where he’d snapped his fingers at the other troll. “I should have done that sweeps ago.”

The doctor shot him a panicked look and hurriedly checked Karkat’s vitals. “Is he really asleep?” she asked.

“Out like a light,” Sollux promised. “Don’t worry, I can wake him up later.”

“It works for me,” Dave shrugged. “Sollux, Karkat is going to be pissed at you.”

“He can get pissy all the fuck he wants,” the psionic growled. “I just want him to be around to be pissed at me.”

That sounded a lot like blackflirting but Dave let it go. Things were complicated enough. The doctor began unhooking the lines and wires attached to Karkat, keeping the portable oxygen tank and Equius’s wristband intact. “I can call for a gurney,” she said.

Sollux answered her. “No need, I’ve got this,” He gently lifted Karkat’s sleeping form and O2 tank with a wave of red and blue sparks. Her eyebrows rose in shock as Sollux winked at them from beneath his bi-colored glasses. The troll floated Karkat down the hallway and followed after him. “Don’t be late,” he called behind him to Dave.

“You kids really are something else, you know?” The doctor said, still staring after where her former alien patient was just floated out of sight by his alien friend’s brain. “Will Karkat really be alright?” She asked. “I’ve grown fond of his endless ranting.”

“I don’t know,” Dave answered truthfully. “But we might have a chance.”

“What are you going to do?” She asked him.

Dave didn’t answer. How could he?

“You should have seen him during the game,” he said suddenly. He wanted her to know, to understand just a little about the mutant troll. “Before all of this happened- He was the best of all of us.”

“It’s not hard to imagine,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “He’s always had that fire in him. I could see it even when he was at his lowest. No other explanation would have let him come back from his last attack except for a hard boiled will to keep fighting to rival that of a whole army.”

“He was a whole army,” Dave answered solemnly. It was so easy to see why Dave had fallen in love with him.

“Dave,” she said, “save him.” She turned to face the Knight, her gray eyes hard and clear. “I don’t care. Whatever it is that you’re planning- save him.”

“I will,” Dave promised. “I have to.”

**22 hours until the HIC’s arrival.**

Dave followed after Karkat and Sollux. They flew back to the lab, Sollux carrying Karkat mentally while Dave flew below just in case. Trees and streets and the sleepy Midwestern town blew by below him until they hit the forest past city limits.

The meteor clearing was still packed with everyone waiting. Sollux set Karkat down into Dave’s arms and he cradled the troll to him, careful around his still-severed ribs wrapped in bandages. Karkat had lost weight. He was way too light and frail, wasted and sick. He didn’t have much longer left before he had nothing left to fight with.

Dave linked their hands together and Karkat’s fingers were thin and brittle. Soon. It would happen soon one way or the other. Karkat stirred in Dave’s arms. “Dave?”

“We’re in the clearing,” Dave answered him as the troll blinked, his eyes unfocused. “Have a nice nap?”

“I’ll kill Sollux,” Karkat said, sounding somewhat unsure as to why. “What happened to me?”

“He knocked you out,” Dave admitted. “It was well-intended.”

Karkat looked over his shoulder at the four quest beds and his hand tightened around Dave’s. Wind ruffled through his black hair and he shivered. “I still can’t believe that this is your grand solution,” he said.

“If we’re already cheating the game, why not go all in?”

“There’s a difference between exploiting the timelines and hacking the Godtier protocols,” Karkat told him. “This might be going… too far,” he huffed, short of breath after only a few words.

Aradia was smiling widely. Red light shone from her wings as she hovered. “We are almost ready to begin,” she said. “Isn’t this fun?”

 

**21 hours until the HIC’s arrival.**

Calliope led Wayward Vagabond out of the lab’s door and Jade once again shrunk it down and stashed it away, then followed suit with the four Quest Beds. Davesprite flapped up to the battleship in a blur of feathers, whooping all the while, to start reading it for flight. 

The lab was vanished back into obscurity. The clearing looked empty without it. 

It was time for them to leave this Midwestern town behind. Dave wasn’t sad to see it go as the great golden ship sank lower, breaking apart the trees as it settled down to ground with a thunderous series of cracks and snaps as entire trunks gave way beneath the bulk of the ships’ hull. Davesprite hung from the rigging with one hand, a rakish smile on his face. “All aboard!”

Dave stepped onto the WK’s battleship and was immediately mobbed by waist-high upright red crocodiles with long snouts encrusted with way too many teeth. His consort’s dark eyes were bright with wit as they chattered away. John was likewise ambushed by yellow salamanders, and Rose was reverently greeted by her rosy turtles. Jade’s blue iguanas crowded close with wide-eyed shrieks of joy as she threw herself into the middle of them.

Dave shrugged and let the Nakodiles have him. They chattered about red lava and twisting gears, LOHAC and more fire than anyone else could imagine. Knight of Time, their hero. One kept repeating the phrase “Bird-you wouldn’t let us eat the salamanders!” In a distressed tone as it growled at where Davesprite was smirking at them all from above. 

“That’s probably a good call,” Dave told them, and they gasped and hissed. “You wouldn’t want to piss of the Heir by eating his consorts now, would you?” he reasoned. 

The small group shot evil glances at John and hissed among themselves. “Eat him too!” one yelled, and the rest hissed. A larger Nakodile conked the offender on the snout. “Not him!” it said. “Heir is a friend of the Knight!”

“Good,” Dave praised the little guy, and the rest crowded close, just as eager to please.

Davesprite lit beside him. “Nakodiles are by far the troublemakers aboard,” he said. “As we both knew they would be. But they’re the only ones strong enough to wield the bigger weapons and they have crack aim too.”

“I would only expect the best from them,” Dave took the cue easily, and the red consorts straightened up and squared their scaly shoulders. 

“The best! The best!” They puffed out their chests. “We will kill the flagship,” they promised. 

TT: I have finished wiring myself into the ship’s mainframe. It is an impressive bit of work the White King had here, but nothing I couldn’t handle. The transfer of power is complete and all systems are operating at full capacity. The ion cannon is online and fully functional, its full charge will be finished in five hours.  
TT: I didn’t expect a Prospitian vessel to be so well-armed. Wasn’t this ship always fated to lose to the Black King’s in the final showdown?  
TG: yeah but they gave one hell of a fight  
TT: I have no experience with Prospit carapacians. They must have been a tenacious breed.  
TG: they are. were fighting to save them too and dersites as well.  
TG: the pm fighting jack isnt even the white queen. isnt she a pawn?  
CG: YES. THE PROGRESSIVE MONARCH IS ORIGINALLY A PAWN GIFTED BY MEANS UNKNOWN WITH THE WHITE QUEEN’S RING. WV KNOWS HOW IT ALL WENT DOWN AND ITS PROBABLY JUST AS FUCKED UP AS THE REST OF THIS SESSION.  
GG: we’ll save her too right? she was once an exile and I knew her on prospit for years! Me and PM are friends.  
CG: ACTUALLY I NEED TO HOLD A WAR MEETING ABOUT THAT. DAVESPRITE, WHERES A GOOD PLACE TO HOST A WAR PARTY?  
TG: I know just the place. The wk’s old war room works great and hal can access all the monitors in there  
TT: I have located it already.  
CG: I’LL CALL US TOGETHER THEN ONCE THE BETA TEAM STOPS FUCKING AROUND WITH THEIR CONSORTS.  
GG: don’t be grumpy karkat I missed them all so much!  
CG: THEY’RE A FUCKING PAIN IN THE ASS. I STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU THOUGHT CREWING WITH THEM WAS NECESSARY. THEY’LL PROBABLY JUST BLOW THEMSELVES UP IN BATTLE.  
TG: hey don’t diss my fucking crew they are top notch killers ill have you know  
CG: ONE JUST CHOKED ON JOHN’S SHOE.  
TG: pppfffftt  
TG: shut up they’re yours too  
GG: I am sure that this will work! I have a feeling that everything will work out now. We can do this! I know we can.  
TG: lets go then. Lets make this shit…..  
TG: transpire.  
TG: hell fucking yes

The White Kings war room was a work of art, if art were both functional and deadly, as Dave thought all art should be. The walls were decorated with spiraling circles of weapons and blades, its high ceiling light and airy up to a glass dome overhead that let the light pour down through the frosted glass in golden streams. High rez monitors made up the far wall, where a four-way venestrated wall hung blankly.

TT: The venestrated wall I am able to get online again but I fail to see the sense in it now. It would only lock on the beta team’s positions.  
TG: and we know where we are as well as where that thing got off to after the sessions collided.  
TT: Yes. One of them, as it were. The Dersite one was destroyed, as well as both of the trolls. The Alpha Derse screen was likewise destroyed by Dirk. The Prospit one should still be in working order, wherever it is.

Hal’s word scrolled through the massive screens and the table itself projected the red text into the air.

“Sweet,” Dave said. “This is some high-tech gear.” His fingers itched to see how his turntables would sound in here. The acoustics must be phenomenal. 

“I know,” Davesprite said. “It was a pain to get all this shit working again.”

The long oval table was settled in with all 21 SBURB players, plus a sprite and the resident AI. Four teams sat as one to discuss the end of the great game that had drawn them together through fire and flood.

Karkat entered the room, his eyes slotted and watery as he sat in one of Tavros’s old wheelchairs. Gamzee diligently pushed him up to the table, his ever-present O2 tanks at his side and hissing lightly.

“Not one fucking word from any of you,” the troll growled. “I look like warmed over shit, I know. I’m still a fucking leader here and I have got some shit to say. So,” Karkat slammed a sickle down onto the marble tabletop and the sound of metal crashed across the room as silence fell. “Hal, how long until she gets here?”

Hal started a counter in red that he hung up on the central screen. The numbers began to tick down as Dave’s heart matched the beat. 20 hours, 14 minutes, 34…33… 32 seconds and counting.

A map of the continental US appeared beside it, major cities outlined in blue inside their puzzle-piece states. Texas shone like a star with Houston in it’s center. For the first time since he’d been on Earth, Dave felt a twinge of homesickness. He was still so far away from his hometown. He might have hated his apartment building with a burning passion, but the state itself always called to him.

“Okay, so here’s the plan so far,” Karkat said, and Hal maneuvered the screen to his words as Karkat, frail as he was, commanded the room’s attention. “First, Her Imperial Condescension is still tracking the beacon Sollux’s systems are broadcasting. We plan to lure her away from populated areas for the entirety of the battle. If the flagship drifts off course and heads for DC or another major city that’s bad news, but we’ll just go after her there and try to keep rampant death and destruction on the down-low before she starts taking aim at hivestems.”

Dave didn’t want to imagine what that would be like. He couldn’t imagine facing her in the midde of NYC or any other lareg city- the death toll would be in the thousands.

The map shifted, moving west and narrowing its focus to one state, then one part as the landscape grew red and craggy then dropped away all at once.

“This canyon is the target,” Karkat said, waving the point of a sickle at the virtual map. The Grand Canyon state park glowed in green, the blue of the Colorado River cutting through it in a line of black. “It’s secluded, far away from humans, and we can hide the battleship down it to ambush the flagship when it arrives.”

“I’ve always wanted to see the Grand Canyon,” Rose mused thoughtfully. “I never imagined coming face-to-face with its grandeur under such peculiar circumstances, but such is life.”

“Exactly,” Karkat said, turning back to the screen. “We lure her in and try to bait her into exiting the ship before we attack. Hopefully she’ll try to destroy us all in person rather than blast us off the planet’s surface out of hand, but if she doesn’t then we focus our attacks on the ship itself.”

The scent of burning ozone filed the room. “Do not damage the helmsblock,” Sollux growled. “A hit there could destabilize the core and the resulting explosion could crack the crust of the planet down to the magma and kill thousands. It would be a mass-extinction type event, which kind of defeats the purpose of saving this planet.”

“Don’t even fucking try,” Karkat agreed. “I’m not planning on nuking Earth by accident.” 

The troll paused, and John shot him a thumb’s up to go on. “Lastly,” Karkat ordered. “Do not underestimate her. I get that some of us are Godtier and that immediately makes us stupid when it comes to dying repeatedly, but I’m fucking serious. She’s a tyrian-blooded Empress who’s lived for hundreds of sweeps as the ruler of a race designed to all be psychopathic murderers from hatching. She’s conquered more star systems than I have the numbers to describe. She is lethal from horn tip to toe, and even alone she’s got her legendary flagship at her beck and call, plus whatever the fuck else I know she’s hiding up her sleeves.” Karkat faced the room and bared his teeth. “Don’t underestimate the HIC. She’ll fuck you up with a 2x3dent and I don’t want to see anyone get forked. Also, absolutely no heroic actions! There will be no thoughts of heroism, no motives of heroic intent, and absolutely no idiotic notions of saving someone else, am I clear? Feferi,” he turned to the Witch. “If you see someone Godtiered bleeding out, you keep your ass put and let them die if it was a stupid death. Do not put yourself in danger to heal someone. I do not want any Heroic deaths, because if you die like that, Godtier or not, you die and you stay fucking dead. For those of us still mortal and normal, just don’t fucking die at all, am I understood?”

Rose cleared her throat. “I’m not sure if those rules on heroism and justice still apply,” the Seer spoke up. “Skia has coded the Empress as a gameboss, and Skia’s rules have begun disintegrating as of late. Who knows, Skia might decide that a death at the HIC’s hands counts as Just.”

“Okay change of plans,” Karkat grunted. “No one fucking die, alright? I’m sure Skia will jump at the chance to fuck us all over even now, so don’t even think about it.”

“I call dibs!” Vriska called out, her octet in one hand and a blue hooked sword in the other.

Terezi jumped up and slammed her dragoncane down with a clack. “Not if I get to her first.”

“Oh hells no,” Roxy grunted, her face wicked. “I owe her a stab in the back for my planet and the human race that she systematically wiped out.”

“Are you forgetting,” Tavros said hesitantly as Vriska stared him down. “That she objectively destroyed our planet and race just as badly?”

“This showdown has been long in coming,” Feferi said grimly, her claws tight on her trident. 

Karkat hammered his sickle against the table until order was restored. The voices died down. “Listen,” he said. “It’s not a contest. She fucked us all and it’s fucking personal to all of us. Just remember that killing her will be a team effort and I swear to gog if I catch anyone at anyone else’s throat over striking rights I’ll flip shit like I haven’t flipped shit since Gamzee flipped his shit.”

It was true. Karkat could win any shit-flipping contest in all known and unknown existence. He was simply the best there was. 

“How soon can we get the battleship all the way to Arizona?” John asked curiously.

Hal answered as Davesprite ruffled his feathers and pushed up imaginary sleeves.

TT: At the safest speed it would take as little as six minutes. I’ve charted a five hour course for convenience, as the military would likely object to us breaking the sound barrier over populated areas. We are ready to depart as you wish. All consort hands are on deck and in place. They really do run a tight ship here, Davesprite. Well done.

“Thank you,” the orange sprite said, “Can you patch me through the intercom?”

There was a beep and Davesprite leaned into the speaker embedded in the table in front of him, a glint in his shades as he cleared his throat and tapped the speaker for emphasis. “Alright alright alright,” He said, “Drop it like it’s hot yo.”

The White King’s battleship lurched as it rose skyward smoothly. Out of the glass dome the clouds were growing closer as the Prospitian warship gained air. There was a thrumming sound as the engines charged.

TT: Launch in five four three two  
TT: Let’s light this candle.

The golden ship jumped forward and the clouds bled past in blurs of white. The steady humming of the ship’s internal mechanisms filled the room. The timer on the wall continued its countdown.

John started typing away to Obama as radar picked them up almost immediately, his face exasperated.

Dave couldn’t help it. He wandered outside onto the deck, back in civilian clothes and with his feet on the ground. He might have been able to fly but he vastly preferred the feeling of dirt and gravel and steel underfoot. At least on the meteor there hadn’t been this dragging, pulling sensation of the ground rushing past far below. In space there had been no sense of height, no fear of falling left over from rooftops long ago. It made his skin crawl.

He leaned over the railing, his face protected from the tearing wind by the ship’s shields. His fingers where hard on the metal as far below he saw neat green and brown patches of farmland race by. Rivers were lines of silver and black wire snaking in scars through the skin of the ground. Cities were gray and white in comparison, oddly like Can Town when seen sectioned into squares from so high up. 

His stomach lurched and he drew back from the edge. He heard footsteps and turned to see Karkat and Gamzee. The wheels of the chair squeaked with rust as they came over.

Karkat wordlessly peeked over the edge of the railing at the world below

“It’s all so small,” Dave said, standing beside the troll with his skin burning. Gamzee took the cue and dipped away back belowdeck.

Karkat huffed, “Duh,” he said. “What did you expect?”

“I’m not sure,” Dave answered truthfully. “I’d never been on a plane before Sburb. I never really liked heights.”

“I dreamed about it,” Karkat said slowly, “Ascension. Watching Alternia shrink into the distance from some port of the fleet as we headed into the stars. All nightmares.” His voice was oddly flat. 

“After tomorrow we’re one step closer to being free,” Dave said. His heart was in his throat. He could feel his pulse squeezing past the lump it left.

“Tomorrow,” Karkat said, looking out over the horizon. “I never thought I’d be free, I never even thought I’d get to live. Now suddenly, damn you, there’s this little ball of hope in my chest and it hurts almost as bad as dying. You’ve fooled me into thinking about all this time I never imagined I’d have and it’s just as terrifying as not living to see the end of this game. No one knows what comes after.” He turned to Dave, his eyes entreating, pleading. “What do we do now?”

Dave didn’t answer. His throat was too full to speak as he went down to his knees to better look at the troll. He almost didn’t believe that there was an after, that Sburb could be over with. The game always existed. The game was existence. Skia was timeless, spaceless, inescapable, and relentless. It was so badly broken now that it simply couldn’t continue. The cycle would be forever broken, no more gods and frogs and Vast Croaks and lit forges. This would be the last Greatest Alchemy existence had to offer, so they had to get it right or it was over. No more existence, for anything. 

Since he couldn’t answer he tilted his head down to kiss Karkat because the past was suffocating, the future uncertain, and the now was all he had to work with. Dave had all of time at his fingertips but he wouldn’t trade this second for any of them.

“Whatever comes next,” he repeated, breathing out the words in a promise against the troll’s gray skin as his hands tangled in his hair, “I’ll be right here.”

**19 hours until the Condescension’s arrival.**

Dave kept to the deck as most of the rest of them vanished back below to scatter to their assigned bunks for the night. He’d seen the single cot room he had been given. It was small enough to suffocate him with the mere idea of sleep. Windowless and cramped, and the AC kept rattling from inside the wall.

It was odd but he was missing the meteor already. He wanted familiar walls and floors. He wanted the familiar smell of his room and his turntables. The ship was a glittering gold graffitied monstrosity that bristled with enough weapons to overthrow entire countries and it was all sleek steel and metal. It clanked and hummed and clicked around him and each second he felt himself winding tighter. The tension was already making his shoulders sore.

In a handful of hours he would fight again. 

He’d grown used to not fighting. It had been 3 years since Dave had seriously handled his blade. Jack had been a distant threat on the meteor while off locked in his stalemate, but Dave still dreamt about choking around a chest full of bullets from his last encounter with the villain. In many ways that had been his first true death.

His time on LOHAC had been characterized by various shenanigans that were only mostly time-induced madness. He’d fought imps, sure, and Basilisks and ogres as well. But gaming enemies were different than fighting people. The first time he’d gone up against a true boss and he, shaking sweaty sword in hand and Jade at his back, 5 different tight timeloops running simultaneously as he threw himself into the battle five times, each one speeding to the end he knew he couldn’t avoid. Jack Noir had been a demon wreathed in green fire with more teeth than face, but at least the villain had lost Bro’s shades before Jade pumped him full of lead. 

Still, on the meteor he’d finally learned how to sleep. He didn’t lie in bed silent and terrified of a surprise puppet-attack, one eye constantly open. He’d grown used to the shadows of the room. There had been a lock on his door for the first time in his life. He’d grown used to not looking over his shoulder every second. He’d outgrown a lot of his old fear.

A large part of him thought that was a bad thing. His fear has always been what kept him safe. It’s what drove him to keep getting back up. Fear of something worse. Fear of something bad happening to his friends if he wasn’t there to take the hit himself. 

In the morning he’d face down an alien warship armed with only a sword and his friends. He hated the part of him that was so ready for it. He hated the part of himself curled hot and burning in his heart and in his hands, always ready to fight because it was all he knew. He’d call the feeling out for being SBURB Knight bullshit but this particular feeling was muscle memory. It came from before the game. It came from how easy it was to hold a sword. It came from a rooftop in Texas that taught him to fear the sound of metal.

Dave didn’t think that he would sleep tonight. Hal questioned him as he waited for time to pass. 

TT: Dave?  
TG: sup  
TT: I understand that this is not the best time, but I would like to thank you.  
TG: for what?  
TT: Understanding. Not giving up. Take your pick.  
TT: Karkat has a shot now thanks to you. This plan, killing all of these players, do you really think that it will work?  
TG: for karkat? no. we dont even have a fucking quest bed for a hero of blood for him its a shot in the dark and fuck  
TG: the odds of it working are stacked so far against us its just not fucking funny anymore  
TG: for everyone else? fuck yes. jane and jake and roxy and dirk will be fine. its their beds after all  
TG: dyings not that bad. not when you get to come back from it at least  
TT: what is it like?

Dave closed his eyes. He remembered how cold the stone had been, how dark and crushingly huge the emptiness of the Furthest Ring had seemed. He remembered watching the timer count down to his suicide, Rose at his side. He remembered how badly he wanted to hold her hand through it, certain that he was going to die for real. He remembered being relieved at the thought, thinking, ‘at least it’ll be quick’, right before the bomb went off in a blast he didn’t remember ever feeling. 

When the end reached him, he’d just _stood there_. 

TG: mostly its over fast. i cant remember what its like during the in-between. i dont really want to either

Waking up was the hardest part, after dying. People weren’t meant to keep coming back. It felt like every time he did he left a little more of himself behind. 

Dave had died more than the rest of them combined. He could build a hill out of the corpses he’d left scattered across the timelines. Every death crowded its way up his throat and he just felt so cold and alone and he wanted Karkat close and whole again that much harder. He didn’t want that for anyone. Dying sucked.

TT: It doesn’t sound that bad. Especially if its dying for this, for a chance to win and save everyone.

And there was the fatal flaw of Princes and Knights. They were just so eager to doom themselves for the team. 

TT: Thanks for telling me this.  
TG: np  
TG: you’re not really hal are you?  
TT: No. I’m not. What gave it away?  
TG: hal would bust my ass for this plan. he doesn’t exactly agree with me killing you  
TG: dirk hes already freaking the fuck out over your mental state as it is. why did you try to fool me?  
TT: I know how much you two talk. I thought it would be easier if you thought I was him.  
TG: easier?  
TT: I’m okay with it. Dying today. I’ve never died before, not in a way that mattered. Does it hurt?  
TG: it always hurts. but it hurts worse to watch someone else die.  
TT: Jake died a dreamdeath like Jane. Neither of them want to go through that again. They’re terrified. Roxy and I, we both are dreamselves at this point. We died during the entrance to the game. We were raised to die one day.  
TT: I thought if I went first it would make it easier on them because no way am I letting Roxy near that fucking bed until we know this works.  
TT: And if it doesn’t, its better that it happen to me anyway.  
TG: oh no fuck dirk now youve done it  
TG: was that self-hatred i just detected? motherfucker i warned you what would happen if you got on my shit list for that. now I have to throw the biggest bitch-fit ever witnessed by paradox space and its all your fault  
TG: i just cant work up the energy for it right now because karkat is literally still dying in my arms so ill be straight with you  
TG: dirk strider.  
TG: if i hear you mention that again im coming for you personally to wreck your shit. i am sick to say this but guess what? i dont know you all that well dirk because youve been avoiding me and i know why but fuck man  
TG: i get it. stop beating yourself up about things beyond your control. i do the exact same thing and i know its a hard habit to break but trust me its only going to hurt the people around you  
TG: hal roxy jane jake rose  
TG: they all want to see you happy and they cant get that if youre so dead set on making yourself miserable over something that you didnt do  
TG: so really all you do is hurt them by mistake. thats how this battle works. it makes your loved ones collateral damage.  
TG: listen  
TG: dirk  
TG: i would love to get to know you better. we all make mistakes. fuck i cant even count all the times ive fucked up because were both human and were floundering around in the dark praying that when we fuck up it will only be ourselves that take the fall but thats how we start  
TG: we forgive ourselves first  
TG: everything else come after.  
TG: and trust me when I say this dirk. i promise. there is nothing that you need to forgive yourself for  
TT: …  
TT: Thank you.  
TG: now tell me the truth. all of it.  
TT: I don’t want to die. I am scared.  
TG: i am too  
TG: but ill be right here waiting on you when you get back. i swear.

**18 hours until the HIC”s arrival.**

The sun set over the lip of the rocky red ridge of the canyon. Dave always knew how wide and deep the Grand Canyon was, but seeing it in person was altogether a different experience. The National Park had been evacuated by presidential decree in preparation for tomorrow’s battle. Air Force One was parked on the dusty emergency landing strip, secret service agents swarming around like black ants as the golden warship came to a halt overhead and began to sink until it hovered silently in the slash of the canyon.

Dave, the consort crew, WV, and the rest of the players crowded the massive deck. Under the fading sun everything looked very red and dusty. Grit clung to the neatly pressed black suits of the SS agents as Davesprite lowered a plank to let them aboard the vessel. 

The four men wore respectable dark shades that hid their expressions, blank faced even as a blue iguana strutted close and flicked out it’s tongue at them for a smell. Dave could recognize excellence when he saw it. These were masters of the art of looking cool and unbothered even when ready to wreck some class-A name brand shit. 

“Are these premise’s weapon free and clear for the President to enter?” A man asked John from where the coleader stood.

“Not even a little,” John answered, a wide and excited grin on his face that made his blue eyes shine. “Bring him on up.”

The man spoke into his earpiece, his finger at his ear. “Sir, again I’d have to highly advise against this foolish undertaking. I urge you to reconsider.” The man sighed without actually sighing or exhaling at all. It was an impressive talent. “Very well,” he answered, snapping his men into place. “Here comes the President of the United States of America.”

The President emerged from his plane, his hand up to squint into the sun at the ship as he began the long walk over. Five men flanked him, two with drawn weapons.

“I want everyone on their best behavior,” John reminded everyone. “This is the democratically elected leader and de-facto representative of our race.”

“So no funny business,” Karkat added from he slumped in his wheelchair. “Wait,” he did a quick headcount and face palmed, nearly knocking his cannula out. “Where the fuck is-” Dave was already preparing himself, hunting through the crowd for a pair of spiraled lyre horns and face paint, “Equius?”

What. He did a double-take. Gamzee was near Jane, looking calm and chilled out. Dave scanned the crowd and saw that Equius was indeed missing. Nepeta was smiling an evil grin.

“I know he’s lurking nearby!” Karkat yelled, wheeling on the heart player. “Show some gog-forsaken manners.”

Equius peeked back into sight from the door of the deck, sheepish and peeved as Karkat turned on the much larger troll.

The secret service men had no comment. They could have been made of steel for all they moved. They snapped smoothly into attention as the group drew near enough for Dave to make out the iconic face of the American President.

Obama stepped aboard the warship, John and Karkat shoulder to hip to greet him as John pushed the other leader forward.

“I must say,” Obama said, shaking John’s outstretched hand, “After talking online with you it’s a pleasure to finally meet in person.”

“I know right,” John was gushing with enthusiasm and excitement, shaking Obama’s hand like he would never let go. “I never thought I’d get to meet the President.”

“And I never thought I’d get to meet actual aliens,” the President joked.

Karkat, predictably, scowled. “For the last time it’s you who is the alien. Humans are the aliens.”

“Not right now,” John said, smirking. “You’re on earth and that makes you the alien. The alien here is you, Karkat.”

“Shut the fuck up, Egbert,” Karkat said, and Obama nodded to himself.

“I feel like I understand the two of you better now,” he said, looking curiously around the WK’s ship. “This really is an impressive vessel.”

The President flowed neatly with the two co-leaders. There were no bumps or cultural misunderstandings. Dave felt a little out of the loop with how well they got along, but maybe Obama was just that fucking good, memo or no memo. Diplomacy was his superpower.

“Well I’m glad I was able to squeeze in a personal meeting before the Empress arrives tomorrow,” the POTUS said, the words rolling smoothly from his tongue. “Give her hell for us.”

Dave never expected to hear that particular order, especially not from the P-rez. 

“We will,” Karkat promised grimly, his eyes steely and reddened from where he glared fire up at the president.

Aradia pressed closer and gears turned in her burgundy eyes. “I can’t wait to see this whole place break apart,” she said, smiling widely. 

“We’re sorry in advance for any damage caused to the canyon,” John said quickly, drawing his attention away from the other time player before Obama could respond.

“This canyon is a national treasure as well as one of the Seven Wonders of the World,” Obama said, taking in the view as the sun slid a fraction closer to the horizon. Stars were beginning to show overhead. “It’s a breath taking sight.” He breathed deeply, soaking in his surroundings as he turned to face John. “I would trade it all if it meant my citizens and the rest of the globe would be safe.”

“We won’t let her do any harm,” John promised seriously.

“I’ll leave you to it then,” the President said, waving to the rest of the assembled multi-specie crew. “You should get some rest. Tomorrow is a long day.”

“Tomorrow will come whether we rest or not,” Karkat answered. “Thanks though.”

“One day, after this is over,” Obama said. “I would love to sit down and hear this whole story.” He bid them farewell as SS agents closed in.

“That might take a while,” John said, “But I’m sure Rose would love to tell it.”

“I’ll keep in touch,” he said, and with that the President was gone, bundled away by secret service as the sun finally dipped below the rim of the world and cast the surface of the planet in shadow.

**12 hours until the HIC’s arrival.**

 

Karkat found him on deck. “Can’t sleep?”

“Can I hazard a guess?” Dave asked, not turning around. “It’s more of an educated hypothesis really. You can’t sleep either.”  
“Too much shit going on,” Karkat agreed. Dave stepped closer to the troll and the other Knight leaned into him silently. The nub of a horn pressed into his ribs as the troll radiated warmth.

“Hey,” Dave said, an idea seizing him. “We’re in one of the most beautiful places my planet has to offer and I can fly. Can I show you something?”

“What is it?”

“A surprise.”

Karkat scowled at him, his eyes awake and alert and curious. “Where are we going?” he asked.

“Up.”

Dave tugged him by the hand until he could fit the troll in his arms. They left the wheelchair behind as Dave cradled Karkat to his chest.

“I have legs, you know,” Karkat complained.

“You’ll just tire yourself our walking,” Dave said. “And we’re going up.”

He wasn’t sure why a ship like this had a crow’s nest but he wasn’t about to complain. He stepped into the air, Godtier abilities granting him the cheat codes to the universe. The moon was just a sliver overhead that reflected silver off of the red stone surrounding them.

The crow’s nest was nothing but a small observation platform. A ladder for lesser mortals led up from the deck below. An antenna rose up overhead, the glass ball that formed the top of the ship’s forcefield shields was dark and calm. The air was the cleanest Dave had ever breathed. No smog, no pollution, no stale dust of forgotten hallways or heat scorch of lava. Crisp. Fresh. Nothing but unspoiled nature.

It was amazing. Such a simple thing, but it cleared his head and filled his lungs. He tipped his head back and studied the sky. He’d seen more stars than he could ever count, innumerable constellations from star systems on star systems, but there was something special about this starry sky he was after. 

“What are you looking for?” Karkat asked, gazing upward. 

“There,” Dave spotted it and pointed at the cluster of white twinkling above. “That’s you.” He told Karkat, eager and happy to share something good.  
The troll squinted at the sky. He caught on quickly. “That’s it?”

“Yep,” Dave said. “That little bunch of stars is the one hung there for you in the beginning. Tropics and crabs and all the goddamn sand you could ever ask for.”

“Cancer,” Karkat said, and the zodiac shining above reflected in his eyes. “It doesn’t look so bad. It’s not as small as I expected.”

“You thought it would be small?” Dave asked.

“And dull,” Karkat said. “I thought it would be ugly, like a scar across the night sky.”

“I think it’s the best of them all,” Dave answered. “Seriously. Have you seen Vriska’s? That shit looks nothing like her sign. It’s like the sky clumped together each one of its leftover garbage stars into a pile and said ‘oh well that’s the best we can do boys’. It reminds me of a Christmas tree with only a half of its lights working.”

Karkat snorted and Dave’s heart was pounding in his chest. Time was flowing smoothly and without a kink to tangle it. His loops were stable and the alternate lines healthy. He could hear the faint beating of time’s pulse in his mind in tempo with his heartbeat. 

“What constellation is that one?” Karkat asked, gesturing at a bright geometric shape overhead.

“I have not the faintest idea,” Dave said, “I only memorized the important ones. Hal could tell you if you really wanted to know.”

Karkat laughed. “I thought so,” he said. “That’s such a you thing to do.”

“What do you mean?”

“You cut right to the heart of it and shrug off all the rest,” Karkat said. 

“I can’t help it,” Dave shrugged. “No one has the time to memorize six dozen useless star charts when I’m not even sure how the fuck they remained accurate. They sure won’t be for much longer in any case.”

“The HIC has something up her tyrian sleeves, I just fucking know it,” Karkat said. “I feel it. There’s no way this will be as easy as it should be. Not when every single thing has broken the laws of both physics and nature to find new and creative ways to fuck us over.”

“Murphey’s law shares similarities with time,” Dave said. “But haven’t we handled all the shit thrown at us so far? We’re all still here, even with a few setbacks and deaths along the way.”

Karkat sighed and turned into the other Knight, his hands in fists as he clutched at Dave’s cape. “I’m sorry,” he said, “I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for all the shit I put you through.”

“It’s okay,” Dave said, curling into him, as his shoulder’s shook and the tsunami of emotion he’d been holding back all day broke free as the dam gave way. “It’s going to be okay. You couldn’t help it.”

“But I could have made it easier for you,” Karkat said desperately. “Instead I was the universe’s biggest shithead about the whole awful affair. I even fucking died on you and you’re still trying to save me!”

“Yeah please never do that again,” Dave said. “You nearly killed me out of sheer terror. I thought my heart was going to explode and send bits of ribs everywhere as bodily shrapnel.” He didn’t think he could take that kind of pain again. He could roll with physical hits all day long, but that creeping rupture of unseen internals rippling out over fault lines in unending waves… that was a different kind of suffering. The kind where he couldn’t feel his own heart beating until it nearly choked him. He pushed the memory away and tightened his arms around Karkat until he could feel the troll’s heart still beating and clung there.

“Oh gog,” Karkat said breathlessly, “Can’t you ever shut the hell up? I am trying to have a romantic moment with you.”

Dave laughed and pressed a light kiss to his forehead. “Nope. Karkat we’ve been over this before,” Dave said just to prove his point. “This is what comes after- this right here. We win the game and there’s no more dying and you’re fucking stuck with me forever.”

This was what he had, half a hope and a prayer. In a few hours the Hic would arrive. In a few hours Karkat might die.

And maybe, just maybe, they had a way to bring him back.

“I’ll take it,” Karkat swore. “That sounds like the best possible ending to me.”

“Are you sure,” Dave asked seriously, his hands circling lightly, hyper-aware of where the doctors had cut him. Karkat sighed and pressed closer. “I can be awfully clingy. Maybe. It’s odd. I’ve never thought of myself as clingy so I’m not actually sure about that, but I know that everything feels right when I’m next to you.”

Karkat kissed him deeply as his answer as a billion different the stars shone overhead and Dave ignored how weak the gray hands that clutched at him were. Cancer hung in the sky like a white banner against the inky darkness and for once Dave’s heart wasn’t pierced by the word because he had Karkat in his arms and the future was rushing forward and he felt like he could face it.

And he knew he wouldn’t be alone when the time came.

**11 hours left.**

 

They stayed up in the crow’s nest and filled the small space with decaptchaloged pillows. The central pole pressed hard into Dave’s spine and the ice of the O2 tank froze into his side but he didn’t mind it much, not with Karkat’s purr rumbling gently through the enclosed space and his head pillowed on Dave’s chest. The steady sound of the troll’s breathing lulled him off to a sleep he thought he would never find on his own.

If this was the last time he could ever spend with Karkat before the end came, he would take it and hold it close inside himself until he could pour the memory in waves through him, too much for any of his walls to stand against.

He held Karkat close until he had nothing left to hide behind. He was in love with the only person to ever break through to the heart of him, and Dave found that there wasn’t a single part of himself left that didn’t contain some trace of Karkat. The troll’s fingerprints were smudged across his internal design and each organ system, each thought fired by a synapse had his name in it. 

Dave dreamed of a tomorrow that didn’t end in heartbreak from every side.

**8 hours remaining.**

 

The morning came unimpeded. The sun rose. Breakfast was eaten. Guns were loaded and the crew was running drills on the deck. Dave had toast because it was light on his stomach. He needed to be quick on his feet. The seconds drained away in pulls and lulls before rushing forward all at once.

 

**2 hours until Her Imperious Condescension breathes Earth’s air.**

 

Obama would not keep off of Pesterchum. NASA pinged her flagship through Hubble and globally all the world’s leaders were flipping the fuck out about it. John and Karkat had their hands full running liaison between the players and multiple world governments.

 

**1 hour left until the world changed forever and even with all this counting down Dave still didn’t think he would ever be ready.**

 

It sucked because he felt each second tick past. He felt himself grow hard with waiting. The tendons in his hands tightened. His neck tensed. He ran over a hundred battle strategies in his mind until the stress began to eat him alive. He wondered if he would ever look like the 13 year old boy who had started it all or if the gravity of his own responsibilities had already crushed him past all recognition.

He had been forever changed when he stepped out of the Green Sun’s rays and felt his cape at his shoulders and his heart beating and a sword in his hand.

He didn’t think that was necessarily a bad thing.

Hal opened a memo for the group as at long last time finally wound itself down to the final seconds. Jade jumped Karkat far away from the fight, all the way back to the base hospital where he could watch the proceedings in relative safety. The troll screamed his disapproval the entire time. The planet held its breath. 

Red text flickered before Dave’s eyes. 

TT: I can see her clearly. She’s over the Arctic Circle right now but I know she’s locking in on our location.  
TT: She just jumped over all of Canada.

Dave felt Rose take his hand and he squeezed it back tightly.

TT: Look up. She’s here.

From the sky, the flagship descended. Death was here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does this count as a cliffhanger?


	18. S T R I F E

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE A GOOD FIGHT SCENE IN THE MORNING

The flagship was a toxic red, its iconic 3-spiked front recognizable even to Dave. Roxy shuddered at his side and her eyes were hard.

The ship hovered. It waited. In size it was smaller than the Prospitian vessel and it bristled with more weapons that Dave cared to count. The meteor crew stood their ground. The battle line had been drawn through the dust and 21 players stood unarmed and unassuming. The only giveaways were clenched fists and bared teeth. 

“Don’t move,” John ordered. “No one attack unless she does.” The breath player studied the ship like he was trying to figure out how best to break it. Wind lifted the dust at his feet.

The line held, every player at the ready as the ship sank lower. Its front windows were tinted and Dave could see how small they all looked reflected back at him in the dark glass. Sollux kept blasting out Alternian propaganda from ever computer he had, drawing her in like a moth to a flame. From the next ridge over, the WK’s battleship was slunk low and ready, out of sight down the canyon. Sun flashed off of the paint, a Betty Crocker shade of red, and the forked trident of the ship’s front slowly rotated to face downwards as if she would ram them into the dust like the vermin they were.

Instead the smooth facade ruptured. A square door opened and a ramp led down as the ship nearly brushed the dust. It sat snarling like a great metal beast as movement caught the Knight’s eye and someone shuffled out from the open doorway.

His first impression was how ridiculously tall she was. She must have stood at 12 feet without her massive sweeping horns, and it was a strong 12 feet. She was a wall of muscle under her tyrian bodysuit, the massive hand that clenched a solid gold 2x3dent was bigger than Dave’s entire head.

The HIC was the first adult troll Dave had ever seen and hot damn she was terrifying. She looked old in the way the oceans were considered old, timeless and ancient and concealing hidden depths that spoke of uncountable sweeps. Her wave-beaten face was worn smooth beneath the wild snarl of hair that drug behind her like a cape as she swept elegantly forward to kill them all.

Dave could make out the shade of her eyes from here, cold and cruel in a way Feferi’s had never been. 

“So you’re the guppies who got away,” she chuckled but it wasn’t a happy sound. “Been dyin to see the new reef you fished from the stars for me.” Her voice was surprisingly high-pitched for her size, and the Alternian she spoke had the same slight bubbled drag as the seadwellers. Also fish puns. By this point Dave wasn’t even surprised. 

“Tell me,” she growled, “Which one of you minnows is the unfortunate shoal who been blastin disrespectful shit all over this galaxy? Is it you, little guppy?” She leveled her trident dead at Feferi and the Heiress stepped forward with a tight and shark-like grin. Her matching trident stayed ready at her side.

“Not me, moray I’d like it to be.” Feferi answered.

“Pity,” the Empress sniffed. “Yet another disappointing heiress all up in my glubbin gills. So.” She studied the group of young trolls, the only ones of her kind left in the world. Her eyes passed right over the eight humans and the cherub. “Shit like that’s a culling offence. Who’s first?”

She cracked her knuckles with the sound of glass breaking. “It’s been a sweep since I’ve krilled somefin,” she said. “I’ve been looking forward to this.”

John stepped closer, his hands empty. His plain suit no longer swallowed his shoulders or clung too tight across his arms. He looked professional and fearless as he approached the alien empress. “Hi,” he said. “I’m one of the co-leaders here and this is my planet you’re trespassing on. I’m going to have to ask you to take your ship and leave.” Dave knew him well enough to read the hard glint in his blue eyes and the steel in his broad shoulders. John Egbert, secret BAMF. 

She crowed with laughter. “Humans got spine, I’ll give em that,” she said. 

John stubbornly continued, because he was John and he had to take every chance he had to make this non-violent because he still believed that there was good in everyone. Even evil alien dictators obsessed with fish puns and mass-genocide. “You can still choose to leave peacefully,” he said, his blue eyes calm and steady. “We’ll let you go if you agree. This doesn’t have to end in a fight. You don’t have to-”

The culling fork flicked forward in her practiced hand. It didn’t even look like an attack. It was a graceful, elegant move and it carried a thoughtless weight behind it, like slapping an annoying mosquito. The tines caught John in the throat mid-sentence, and with a twitch of her fingers his head came off in a spurt of red. He didn’t even have the time to choke around the gold in his neck.

He collapsed bonelessly, very clearly stone dead and decapitated. The line of troll players hissed as one and Dave’s fists clenched around nothing. Only John’s order from before kept a sword out of his hand. The first few seconds ticked by as somewhere outside of time, a clock hand began to swing.

“Look at you all,” The HIC said cheerfully, “Clammed up now, are you? Catfish got your tongue?” She flicked the blood off the ends of her trident with disgust at its color, like it wasn’t even worthy enough to stain her weapon. Dave’s blood began to boil.

“I’ll tell you how it’s about to be,” the Empress said, “I see one washed up heiress brat with her band of blood traitors. I even see some familiar faces,” she clucked her tongue sadly, mocking them. “An Ampora, useless as always I see. Some cullbait lowbloods, a handful of midbloods who should have more sense than this, and two blues I know aren’t glubbin down with this, are you?” She crooned sweetly at them. “I’m feeling whales of generous now, so I’ll forgive you if you help me krill them now.”

Vriska jeered. “Like we would ever side with an old washed up queen like you. Where’s your kingdom? Your power? You’re nothing but yesterday’s news from the wrong fucking universe. It’s pathetic.”

Equius said nothing, but his hands were in tight fists.

The HIC continued like she hadn’t even realized how badly she’d just fucked up by killing John. “I see a shrimpy yellowblood hiding in the back,” she said. “I can smell the heat frying in your thinkpan from here, little psionic. Even better- I know your sign, Captor. Good.” Her grin was all predatory, teeth and tight lips. “I’m in the market for a new battery for my flagship.”

Sollux snarled, sparks jumping through the air as his eyes flashed red and blue. “You can fucking try.”

“And you then, Makara,” The HIC purred, twirling her trident in one hand. “I never thought I’d see one of your sign so fuckin _tamed_. Wicked unnatural brother, where’s your whimsy at? How have the messiahs been treatin you, my miraculous highblooded brother?”

Gamzee’s head quirked up at the words and his eyes brightened at being addressed in the words of his religion. It was like giving bread to the starving. “I got all the fucking whimsy I need, queensis,” he answered. “Motherfuck, I’ve got all my murder wound up in balls of light just waiting for the word to be spoke to let it all out.” He shrugged, his shoulders loose. His arms dangled at his sides. 

“And who’s word is this?” she challenged, “Your line never listened to even me. They were always too busy with the bloodletting and the chucklevoodoos to mind their glubbin Empress. I tolerated your kind for so long, subjugglator. I let them breed like sardines in the shoals of my fuckin fleet. I stood by your church and this is how you repay me?”

“I owe you shit,” Gamzee said, a low growl building in his throat. “No one rules me but me and motherfucking me. I got family now, and I’ll stand by them.”

For an instant Dave felt a strong pride in Karkat’s moirail.

The Empress sighed. “And you were the only one I was counting on,” she said, pouting. “Caliborn said you were on our team. You batted with us before, culled these wrigglers like the lowblooded scum they fuckin are. Come on, Makara, don’t be such a dumb bouy. Join the right side. Let your true nature take hold and rip the blood from these lesser trolls.”

Calliope said, very quietly. “Oh no. She said the name.”

Gamzee straightened out of his slouch with a snap. His eyes glowed orange and his slashed face twisted into a snarl. “Motherfuckers know not what they fucking say,” he warned, and Dave turned to face the troll who had suddenly shifted into a bigger threat than the Empress. It was like watching a raging house fire trapped in a glass ball just beginning to show its cracks. The magma was stirring, shaking the bedrock. “I ain’t that kind of troll no more,” Gamzee snarled. “My gods are not found in the wounding of friends. My motherfucking leader and palebro done set me right with that unrighteous shit, blasphemer.”

“Leader?” she questioned, hefting up her trident. “What fuckin leader is this? That puny human I done krilled? He’s not worth the thought it’d take to remember him.”

Gamzee had gone still in the worst possible way. “Not that leader,” he growled. “The other one’s the one you should motherfucking worry about. He’s got enough holy rage burning bright inside him to put me to shame. He’s taught me all your lies. You can’t make a fool of me a second time.”

“Who?” She demanded. “He’s next on my culling list then.”

The air shook with a bang, wind blasting outwards from the spot where John’s body lay in the red dust as the Heir of Breath began to resurrect from a death judged neither heroic nor just.

Rainbow light bled off him. Blue swam through the air and wove itself into a long hood as his eyes snapped open and burned with the weight of all the skies behind them. Blue like glaciers and frost and the span of the upper atmosphere of the globe. A blue bright enough to circle the world. John hovered in the air and pushed hair out of his face with the back of one hand. He shook his head at where the HIC stood silently, observing the new development with calculating eyes. 

“That wasn’t smart,” John said. “I offered you a way out. Now we have to do things Karkat’s way.” He held out his hand and a legendary weapon fell into his open palm. He hefted the Warhammer of Zillyhoo as if it were feather-light.

“You don’t scare me,” Her Imperious Condescension sneered. “I know all about your game. I know how to kill a god.”

“And we know how to kill hag bitches who just won’t fucking die like all the people she fucked over.” Roxy snarled from the side, her hands in fists.

“You,” the Empress sucked in a hissing breath. “You escaped me once, moray by chance, but I’ve fuckin got you now.”

“Not if I can help it,” John swore, and he darted forward with his hammer, the wind rising to a scream as they clashed.

That was the signal. As one every player armed themselves, baring strifespecibi. The six Godtiered players flashed into their godhoods as 21 SBURB players faced down the single lone boss, armed with blades and rifles and legendary weapons with enough power to level cities.

The HIC let out a scalding laugh as she scoffed. “Fools,” she said, holding off John with jabs of her forkkind. “I work for a new boss now and he’s the hottest shit there is. I have all the juice of a Lord of Time behind me. You think you’re the only trolls the game fuckin _upgraded_?”

The crackle of psionic sparks around her head was the only warning, flashing red and blue between the high arches of her horns.

Dave flashstepped forward in a blur and hit Roxy hard enough to drag her out of the way as a psionic beam shot from the Empress’s eyes and scorched the dust where Roxy had been a second ago. Dave could smell the burning in the air as Sollux retaliated with a blast of his own and easily held her off with one hand until the Empress lifted Rose up with the telekinesis of a rustblood and mentally threw her in between the two battling psionics. 

The light player disintegrated before Sollux could reel himself back and Roxy howled with rage and lunged forward, dodging rocks that the HIC send barreling at them as she blocked a strong blow from Feferi’s 2x3dent. The two tyrians snarled at each other, gold screeching between them.

Shit. The fight was only in its sixth second and she’d already killed Rose and John. From the ship a buzzing began to fill the air, like a swarm of cicadas in summer just starting to scream in unison. It was a metallic, droning sound that send a shiver of fear down Dave’s spine even before a gate poured open and dozens and dozens of shapes spilled out into the air. He didn’t need to hear them named- he knew what these insectile metal killing monstrosities were. 

Drones.

Like nightmares come to life their high spiked collars flashed in the sunlight, bladed hands whirling as metal joints creaked and snapped. A laser show began as they opened fire on the group. Dave saw Kanaya go down as a shot took her through the middle.

Fuck.

The battle line fell apart as the players scrambled for cover. Eridan returned fire with the Crosshairs of Ahab and blasted the first few drones to reach them into smithereens. Aradia was quick to start freezing drones in place as she suspended them in time, glowing red circles and gears grinding as she held time at a halt around the unlucky drones. Jade, Roxy, and Jake teamed up and lent covering fire as the drone army collided with the players.

Overhead the Prospitian battleship rose into the air, engines thrumming as it powered up and lunged to meet its challenger. The flagship rose to greet it and cut the sky apart between the two of them as the canyon dissolved into chaos. 

Fuck fuck fuck. Dave felt his knees roll beneath him, fighting to regain his feet as a drone barreled down on him. Its spiked collar bristled and whirred, joints screaming as blades appeared at the end of its limbs.  
He could feel himself hyperventilating. Drones were every troll’s worse nightmare and that went double for him. They were killing machines specifically designed to quickly and painfully eviscerate trolls and now there were nearly a hundred filling the air with their droning buzz as the battle raged around them.

Dave acted fast, blocking the first hit with his legendary blade. The metal of the drone’s hand held beneath a hit that should have cut through it like butter. Razor sharp edges shone in the light and glittered coldly as a dozen different blades jumped out at him. Shit. 

The second arm was swinging around, faster than even a troll could have reacted. Only Dave’s unnatural speed saved him from the blow as a second Dave removed the drone’s arm.

“Aim for the joints!” Future him yelled, blood covering his face and matting in his hair, then vanished back into the cloud of red dust.

Dave’s next swing took off the drone’s head right as Dirk’s katana took care of the remaining arm. The victory was short lived as a second drone was instantly bearing down, firing a plasma weapon.

He threw himself mindlessly into the battle, five separate time loops running at once as he counted the seconds backward and forward and sideways to keep everything synced up and in line. Rose recovered from being torn apart on an atomic level and her needlekind strife specibus flashed as she blasted through drones with black magic. Jane and Feferi battled to keep the Condense occupied, tridents and forkkind colliding with metallic screeches.

Hal began streaming lines of red text through his shades.

TT: I’m attacking the flagship myself. It’s coding is unfamiliar and like nothing I’ve encountered before. I’m working as fast as I can to get those drones shut down.  
TT: Look out!

A red blast from the flagship carved a deep line down the rock face underfoot, the heat melting the surrounding rock. Dave quickly sent Hal a response.

TG: holy shit no one told me she had her own personal slaughter-army hiding up her fucking sleeves  
TT: Just focus on not dying.  
TG: stellar advice hal really great work  
TT: I am just as stressed out as you are! Just don’t let yourself get kille-

Dave jumped back in time and the text scrolled across his shades in reverse.

TT: I am attacking the flagship myself. It’s coding is unfamiliar and like nothing I’ve ever-

Dave ignored it. He’d seen this part before as he blocked Tavros’s unprotected back from a killing hit. One leg was dragging, its bracer snapped and broken as the troll bravely wielded a lance against a charging drone.

The dogfight screamed overhead and ripped through a natural rock arch with a burst of cannonfire. 

An orange and blue smear of light and hair hovered in the sky. Her fanged grin was open and ready to throw down as Vriska nailed a high roll with her Octet and a rainstorm of light cascaded down. Several drones exploded on contact. Terezi shrieked, both halves of her dragoncane buried in a drone’s eyes as she rode it across the dust.

The wind picked up, howling through the canyon as John hovered overhead. His hands were outstretched, his black hair waving in the wind as clouds gathered around him. Between his fingers a funnel cloud grew.

And grew. And grew.

The tornado touched down in the canyon, stretching up to the sky and sucking up the drones that scattered like beetles before it. Two more joined it, and the three twisters circled the arena and devoured any drone that tried to sneak around the sides or back. They whipped the dust into a frenzy, grit scattering across Dave’s shades.

The Knight kept moving, cutting down any drone in his path. He took a hard swipe across his scalp and felt a flap of skin and hair tear free as blood flooded down his face. He jumped backwards through time again.

“Aim for the joints!” he yelled at himself, instantly turning to fight through where four drones had surrounded where Gamzee was standing. They began to close in on the lone troll.

Dave flashstepped between them, slipping under and over. One managed to snag his cape on the way by and the fabric shredded in its claws. A part of him was well aware of what a stupid move this was, but the Knight in him was screaming louder and demanding that he protect a defenseless teammate.

It was official. Knights were the shittiest class. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” he demanded, backing up as fast as his feet could go as the drones advanced. Gamzee shrugged bonelessly, his eyes wide and blank.

“You don’t want me in this fight,” the troll said. “It won’t be ending well if I’m all up in it.”

Dave attacked the first drone, sweeping high as his feet left the ground. The drone followed him effortlessly, clacking and clanking like every single thing he feared rolled into one as at least six swords appeared and began whirling together like some ass-backwards weedwacker of death. 

This was insane. He turned into the coming blow, his back screaming as a second drone drove for him. He only had two hands and one sword. He was outnumbered and about to get ripped into very tiny pieces between two furious metal killbots. This was just a fact. His hands tightened on his sword. He’d take a few out with him before they-

Gamzee’s hand tightened around his ankle and drug him downwards. Above him the two swooping drones collided and sparks rained down as their blades cut into each other and cut deep. The lights behind their glass eyes died.

“Thanks,” Dave spit out, short of breath. There was blood running into the corners of his eyes and the salt stung. 

Gamzee blinked at him slowly and Dave felt claws cut into his skin. He could feel the bones of his ankle grind dangerously together under the highblood’s fingers. The two dead drones crashed down beside them, still spitting out sparks and locked together.

Gamze stared at them and his grip tightened. “What a motherfucking miracle,” he said. “All up in their destruction, died together. Just had to let it fucking happen.”

“Aw fuck,” Dave muttered, surprisingly calm. His ankle screamed at him, nearly broken.

TT: I’m in the ship’s systems. It’s a mess inside here. All of the locks are open and the servers are wide open with no defenses. I don’t get it. This place is a fortress with no one defending it.  
TG: thats great and all but listen im about to get my ass murdered by gamzee and we need a helping hand cause were outnumbered ten to one right now  
TG: can you take out the fucking drones for us?  
TT: I’m working on it. They’re each individually coded. There’s no mainframe for me to corrupt. It would be a better use of resources for me to finish conquering the ship before the cannons take out the BK’s battleship.  
TT: We’re taking a beating up here.  
TT: Wait did you just say Gamzee?

A club appeared in the troll’s hand and his claws dug deeper into Dave’s flesh, all the way down until they scraped bone in a burst of white-hot pain. 

“Easy,” Dave cautioned, “We’re on the same side, remember?” His sword crept up, aiming for the heart.

And time hung still. Everything shone crystal clear, each second outlined in red. He could feel the five loops he was running, feel the voids where Aradia was working her own brand of time-induced magic chaos. He knew what he had to do to avoid death and avoid the worst-case scenario of adding an insane club-wielding juggalo to the mix of enemies. From this angle it would be easy, a simple slide upwards with his blade, through the ribs. It wouldn’t save him, Gamzee would take a long time to die even from a clean hit to the heart, but it would save others from him. The line between right and wrong was clear and it left Gamzee stranded on the wrong side of it with Dave holding a blade to his heart as his very bones ground together and sent sparks of pain up his spine.

But he couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t bring himself to kill Karkat’s moirail.

Gamzee leaned down, every inch of his body promising violence. His scarred face was uncomfortably close, the spiral lyres of his horns jutting overhead. His pupils were small inside irises just starting to show their true color.

“Miracles,” Gamzee snarled, too many teeth crammed into his mouth as he bared more fangs than made sense at Dave. “Motherfucking miracles.”

It would have almost been a reflex. A reaction. Almost involuntary from a lifetime of instincts beaten into him to stab the thing hurting him. When it came right down to it- murder was remarkably easy. Well fuck it. Fuck the game for forcing him into this impossible position with no right answer that he could live with and just fuck it.

He ignored absolutely everything screaming at him because fuck Skia and fuck SBURB.

Dave flung his hand out. Instead of stabbing, he slapped Gamzee as hard as he could across the face and the troll’s head snapped oddly to the side.

And suddenly Gamzee’s eyes cleared. The fog in them vanished and left the troll looking scared and young and defenseless and some terrible part of Dave urged him to strike now while he was distracted. He nearly did it, he nearly followed through with it all the way upwards across the scant foot or so of space between the two of them until there was no space left between the point of his sword and the troll’s chest.  
His arm trembled with the effort required to hold back the blow. Fuck the game- he wasn’t a killer. Not like this.

“Gamzee?” Dave asked slowly, and he slid the blade closer and upwards, just enough to set it right over its target in warning. “Don’t make me do this,” he pleaded.

Gamzee blinked at him like he was seeing him for the first time and his hand shot from off his ankle like he’d been burned. Dave followed him with his sword as the troll leaned back, eyes wide.

“Are you back with us now?” Dave asked. “Because I will gladly slap the stupid out of your ass again if needed.” A crash echoed overhead as a large part of the canyon crumpled and slid down into the river a mile below, a hundred hundred tons of rock in freefall.

The troll just blinked at him wordlessly. “I would have killed you,” he said.

“I would have killed you too,” Dave answered. “Now let’s not kill each other, okay?”

The troll growled at himself, his face twisted into a grimace. “My head,” Gamzee said, clawing at his hair. “My thinkpan’s on fire. I can’t remember.”

Dave was not the right person to try and handle this. Where the fuck was Rose or Kanaya? “I’ll remember for you then,” Dave said, withdrawing his sword. He kept it simple. “Drones. A shit ton of them. Focus on taking them out and nothing else. The voices don’t control you. Remember Karkat.”

“Drones like the kind that was always after my palebro?” Gamzee asked.

“Exactly those drones,” Dave promised. “And they’re after him again.”

“I can’t fight them,” Gamzee said, nearly pleading. “I’ll hurt people again.”

The troll looked so scared. Vulnerable in a way Dave had never seen as he caught a glimpse of the teen hiding beneath the facepaint and scars that crashed/conflicted/sideways/logic in his eyes. He looked haunted by voices Dave couldn’t hear and murders that all of his time powers couldn’t completely wash away. 

“Now listen up,” Dave said. He brushed blood out of his eyes. “Enough with the Bard of Rage highblood bullshit. No one can make you do anything you don’t fucking want to do. I can prove it.” Dave held up his hand and spoke. “If Gamzee were to go nuts and start another friendmurder spree, I will jump back in time and punch myself in the dick for not stopping it when I could.”

A second passed. Nothing happened. Dave’s junk was safe. 

“See?” Dave said. “Now it’s a temporal inevitability that you will keep your shit together.”

“Or I kill you first,” Gamzee pointed out, uncomfortably clear and rational.

“Goddammit,” Dave nearly signed in frustration. “Just keep your shit under wraps and let’s go kick some Empress ass.”

Gamzee’s expression cleared. It grew hard and cold as he drew three more clubs out of his batshit insane sylladex. A chorus of light and sound followed the clubs. He began to juggle them, skillfully making the pins dance in the air, and a drone threw itself forward with a metallic screech.

A single club launched itself out of the ring of juggling clubs and collided with the drone’s face. It kept going even after it had knocked the drone’s head clean off. The drone collapsed, the exposed wires in its neck leaking fire. 

“Holy shit,” Dave said. He thought only Equius had that kind of strength. Gamzee’s clubs vanished back into his sylladex as he threw himself onto a drone, snarling as he ripped its arm off and drove the bladed fingers through it’s neck.

Maybe turning an unstable Gamzee loose wasn’t that smart of an idea after all. Oh well. A future Dave hadn’t appeared to stop him so how bad of a decision could it be?

He went back to decapitating drones as the tornados roared with their dull thunder and the two gigantic warships duked it out overhead and completely wrecked one of the Seven Wonders of the World with plasma fire and laser blasts. The ion cannon was whining as it powered up for the killing blow.

Dave sought out the Empress. The drones were beginning to thin as the players quickly grouped up and worked together. The dust was still thick enough in the air that it took him a second to find where the HIC was.

Just in time to see her drive her trident through Feferi’s chest and catch Jane on the backswing. Jane went rolling hard, her ribs surely broken. Just like that- both life players were down.

Dave flicked oil and dirt off of his sword and started forward. Now it was his turn. They both needed him and his sword. His ankle was crushed but that didn’t matter when he could fly. The tide of battle parted around him as he marched forward.

This was the person that had destroyed Karkat’s wrigglerhood. She had ruined troll society and overthrown entire worlds like they were so many dominoes to knock over. The lives she had taken were uncountable and immeasurable and her reign of terror ended here.

Preferably on the end of his sword. 

Dirk stepped out of the dust at his side, his shirt stained with red and his sword in hand. Together the two Striders faced her down.

There were no words between them. They might have come from different sessions and separate universes but it didn’t matter. They were family and they fell into place with a practiced skill. They didn’t need words.

The HIC brushed back a stray tentacle of hair. Red and olive painted the front of her jumpsuit, but there was more than a fair share of tyrian present as well. In all honesty it was probably Feferi’s, who Dave now saw wasn’t dead. Yet. The troll strained against the tines in her heart, blood pooling beneath her.

Freaking highbloods. They just didn’t die easily. Dave kept that in mind for facing the HIC. This was all or nothing. He kept back and waited for a chance to save Feferi, everything in him counting the time she had left that drained away with each drop of blood that soaked into the dust. 

“Well,” the Empress panted, just beginning to show fatigue. She ground her trident deeper into Feferi’s chest and the girl shrieked. Dave winced at the sound. “I’m currently really glubbin tired of you guppies crankin my style.”

“Allow me to help,” Dirk offered coldly, furious. “I am going to kill you.”

She laughed and drew up her trident to end Feferi before Dave could stupidly (read: heroically) die trying to save her. Jade popped into existence between them, nearly impaling herself on the trident, then vanished an instant later with Feferi in tow. He ground his teeth together and waited as the HIC snarled and whipped around. At least Feferi was safe. 

“Won’t be long now until you fuckin stay dead,” She growled, lifting her trident at them. “Those fancy pajamas won’t keep you safe from me.” She snarled at Dirk. “You. Finally tired of hiding away in your tower in the sea? At least your brother had the balls to face me.” She grinned and spat blood at them. “I remember him well, and his failed little revolution. He couldn’t save his planet and neither will you.”

“Excuse me,” Dave said, mock-offended. He spun his sword around in his hand, the end pointing at her chest. “I’m right here, and this version of me is going to utterly wreck your shit.”

“Fight me, beaches,” The HIC goaded them on, lifting her trident. “After I take care of you, there’s a little rat mutant hiding somewhere that I have to deal with. Karkat, wasn’t it?” She hissed. 

The jolt of rage and fear Dave felt at the words was immeasurable. Karkat’s name should never have been in the HIC’s mouth. It was a warping of the world. He coldly hefted his sword. 

A sickle flashed through the air, flying end over end before it buried itself up to the hilt in the Empress’s back with a snick. The HIC screamed, long and loud, and she ripped the weapon out in a spurt of blood and whipped around, fins flaring as she flashed her fangs.

Karkat stood in the dust, leaning heavily on Jade’s side as the space player supported him. His remaining sickle was clenched in one shaking thin-boned hand. “Who did you say you’d fucking deal with?” He challenged. “Well I’m right fucking here. Come and get me.” He turned the blade on himself and cut a line down his palm. Red pooled up and spilled over his fingers. It dripped into the dust at his feet as he held his bloodied hand up to her, red as death. Red as the eyes that promised a bloody end.

“I created you, remember?” Karkat taunted, his mutant blood covering his hand like a glove as Dave watched in muted horror. “So you can GO FUCK YOURSELF!”

God. Dave loved him so fucking much. There were no words to describe the love that poured through his very soul as Karkat elegantly told the HIC to go fuck herself. It was a thing of beauty. 

“Impossible,” she snarled, her eyes suddenly distant. “You look just glubbin like him.”

“And I’ll finish what he fucking started,” Karkat promised, locking a conversation just for the two of them. “Come and get me.”

Her Imperious Condescension screeched and threw herself forward in a blur, psionics sparking from her eyes in her fury as Jade jumped them both out of the way. Dave and Dirk moved as one, flashstepping for her turned back as they seized the chance Karkat had just granted them.

Drones began to die overhead. They dropped like flies.

TT: I’ve got it. That should take care of the drones. Now for the ship.

The second stretched into infinity as several things happened at once.

Overhead there was a burst of light brighter than the sun. Even with his shades the light blinded him. His eardrums ruptured as the shockwave hit him from the side and rattled down to his every bone. The dust cleared with the shockwave it sent out as the ion cannon fired it’s single shot and neatly burned straight through the bow of the flagship. The resulting explosions Dave couldn’t hear, but he felt the heat from the fire as the ship listed to the side, scraping along the walls of the canyon as it sank out of sight like a vanquished ship at sea to its watery grave. 

Dave turned his focus on the broad and unprotected back of the HIC, his sword point leading the way. She must have felt them coming, because a psychic fist struck Dave from the side 0.245 seconds later. He flew into Dirk and they went stumbling sideways as his ribs screamed from the blow. They rolled across the rough ground in a pile of limbs.

“Ow,” he coughed, tasting blood in his mouth as a large rock stopped them with a thud. Dirk was up a second later.

“Are you alright?” Dirk asked.

The words buzzed blankly in his deafened ears, Godtier language skills scoring another one for the win. 

“Give me a second,” Dave wheezed. It was really unfair that the HIC apparently got all the troll abilities. Lord English was bending the rules just as much as they were.

Red text pinged across his shades. 

TT: The flagship has been crippled. I don’t think it will be a problem anymore. The drones are mostly defeated as well. Now for the hag.  
TG: youd better fucking believe it.  
TT: I have been waiting a long time for this.  
TT: Good luck.

Dave stood and felt several broken bones protest loudly. The pain was instantly forgotten when he saw Gamzee, his clubs locked around the shaft of the HIC’s trident. Tyrian poured like a flood from the Empress’s back and wrist where Karkat’s sickles had bitten deep and ripped. Gamzee’s arms were shaking with the effort to keep the tines away from him. As toweringly tall as the troll was he barely passed the Condense’s waist. She loomed over him, snarling, gold and fuchsia smearing together. 

The sight nearly stopped his heart. “Oh shit,” Dave said, launching himself at the battle as an unbridled fear filled him.

Dirk followed after him silently. No single blow would take her out. They needed to do this together before she killed Gamzee. 

Gamzee managed to jump backwards, freeing himself from the jail of gold just in time for the Empress to nail him with a kick that sent him rolling. She harried after him, her culling fork ready to kill.

She picked the indigoblood up like a doll and shook him wildly. His gangly limbs splayed through the air before she nailed him through the chest with her 2x3dent and held his pierced body up to her face as the troll screamed.

“Told you so,” she sneered as Gamzee’s face twisted with pain and terror. Purple leaked down the trident and over her massive hands. Gamzee’s arms were shaking as his eyes flushed orange as one clawed hand flashed out. Not defeated yet, Gamzee won the Empress’s eye in the instant before a club cracked one of her arching horns clean down to the bone of her skull. It splintered as she threw the troll and her trident away from her and clutched at where blood filled the hole in her face, now one-horned.

Gamzee hit the red dust twenty feet away and fell still, the trident sticking out of him.

“Hey!” Dave shouted in outrage, brandishing his sword like he would lob it at her, and at from the side Jake emptied his pistol into her side and chest. A rifleround from Roxy ripped through one of her finned ears as the HIC barely escaped a headshot. 

She paused, her head whipping around, down an eye and one horn snapped off as sparks jumped around her. The bullets didn’t slow her as she bared her teeth wordlessly at the hope and void players.

That was all the distraction Dave needed. He was done with waiting. 

Time flowed in a circle around him, all of the Knight of Time’s loops running together at this exact moment. He was a Knight and time was his weapon. It wasn’t his biggest exploitation of multiple stable timeloops, but it was by far the most calculated. Three swords caught her at once as with a flying flashstep Dave ripped his blade across her chest. A second Dave hit her with a sweeping stroke to the spine, and a third Dave nearly gutted her. The two Daves vanished as the move was completed.

She choked and blood erupted like a fountain from the three major wounds. She clenched one hand low around her belly, holding in her organs from the tear in her gut. Dave had missed her heart, but that was okay.

Roxy wouldn’t miss.

The Empress nearly fell to her knees. She leaned heavily to the side as she locked eyes (eye?) with him.

“I’ll,” she coughed. “Fucking cull you all. Scum.”

Roxy slid the blade through her heart from behind. The void player kicked off of one massive shoulder and twisted through the air to land beside Dave and Dirk.

Blood beaded up along the HIC’s front, then poured down all at once from her chest. She snarled wetly at them. Behind them the rest of the players crowded close. John hovered overhead with his hammer. The tornadoes pressed closer, wind screaming across the ground. Vriska flew beside him, her fanged grin vicious as she twirled her Octet, sword in hand. The golden battleship crowned the sky, every gun rotated to face where the failing Condescension stood.

Against the full might of the SBURB team she didn’t look so huge anymore. 

In fact, she looked remarkably small. Dave had to double-check to make sure Jade wasn’t shrinking her down to size.

Dave hated this part. He just wanted it to be over. He didn’t want to stand and hear her last words as she tried to stem her bleeding. It was futile. Her fate was sealed. 

“This is nothing,” she choked out, still bleeding from her multiple wounds. “I’ll still win. English will still have you in the end.” She was clearly dying. Even she couldn’t keep going with this much damage.

“We’ll see about that,” John said, then swung his Warhammer one last time.

The HIC fell facedown into the dust as her neck broke and lay still. 

Dave had a two-second span of triumph before time seized him in it’s inescapable jaws. He threw himself backwards twice in quick succession, closing the loop. When he landed again in the present he was drenched in fuchsia as he flashstepped over to Gamzee.

The troll was holding his fingers around the tines stuck through him, a mess of purple blood absolutely everywhere.

Dave’s ears still couldn’t pick up the noise, but he felt the air vibrating. The battleship’s drums were ringing and it was all background noise, all irrelevant details because the only thing that mattered was the blood spilling into the sandy ground.

“I’m motherfucking fine, Davebro,” Gamzee said listlessly. He stared blankly at the sky, his face puzzled.

Terezi knelt beside them, teal running in streaks across her face as she sniffed at him.

“You are not fine,” she snapped, “in fact, you are dangerously close to never being fine again!”

Jane limped over, Dirk supporting her with his arms as she clutched at broken ribs.

“I can keep him,” she promised, her breath rattling.

Jade appeared a second later. “No need!” she said, and then the two badly injured players were gone in a flash of green, off to the base hospital for treatment.

Dave took a quick head count and saw that everyone left was still standing. Nepeta was drenched in a panic-inducing amount of olive but her feral grin was wild, Equius at her side with the head of a drone tucked under one arm. Calliope’s face was bruised and there were wires trapped under claws. Eridan’s cape was missing but other than that the seadweller looked the most untouched out of all of them, the legendary weapon still at the ready in his steady arms. Rose helped Kanaya brush away the jade spilling from where a laser round hit her. 

Dave took a deep breath as John’s feet hit the ground next to him. The three tornadoes shook themselves apart as a new wind teased them into lighter clouds. The dust began to settle over a sea of defeated robots.

One boss down.

Two to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! I had way too much fun writing this even if i don't agree with parts of it.
> 
> This is a big battle scene, I know, but it’s also the lull before the storm. Fair warning. 
> 
> Fun fact, these last few chapters have several vastly different versions of themselves floating around on my hard drive, including one corrupted version that crashes my computer every time I try to open it. Wow, it must have been really terrible, so terrible that in order to prevent me from inflicting it upon the world my computer coded a virus into it to protect my readers.
> 
> Thank you, computer. AG also thanks you, because I forced her to read all my bad endings before I knew how I wanted this story to go.  
> I wrote three different terrible endings before I found the ‘right’ one. But this chapter, it’s got some good bits in it as we go into the ending story arcs.
> 
> I frame my writing around only a handful of powerful scenes that I can’t get out of my head and I structure the entire work around those scarce few moments. For this fic, I had five scenes. We’ve done only three of them so far.
> 
> Be happy! The HIC is gone!
> 
> Now for Jack Noir and Caliborn…


	19. HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT (reprise)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote the entire fic up to this point, then set it aside to simmer for two weeks during midterms. During that time I decided I hated the endings so from this point on, its all new work. 
> 
> AG wants everyone to know that without her help, I would have murdered this fic and never finished it. So, thank her for kicking the living crap out of me after I nearly gave up hope.
> 
> Oh boy, is this a chapter for you......
> 
> Word of advice- get scared, its here.

Sollux alone went into the downed flagship, which had fallen bent-broken sideways into the Colorado River at the bottom of the canyon. The towering walls of stone around them made Dave feel closed in as the psionic vanished through the huge still smoking hole in the side of the ship.

TT: I know why the ship’s systems were so under protected.  
TT: At first it didn’t make sense. This coding is the most advanced I’ve ever seen. If it were even minimally active beyond just keeping the lights on, I don’t think that even I could have been able to challenge it effectively. I would have lost, and not by a small margin.  
TT: I am an AI. I came to terms with that fact years after I first splintered off from Dirk. I thought in this single case I was alone. I was wrong. Once, this ship had its own AI. I was fighting it’s bones.  
TG: we all know by now what the hic meant by her threat to sollux. karkat told me weeks ago the history between the fleet and psionics  
TT: I didn’t believe it.  
TT: The idea that an AI program was still tied against its will to its systems after a living body was forcefully wired into the mainframe was impossible, even when I accounted for the Alternian’s remarkable capacity for cruelty and their superior technology.  
TG: hal please  
TG: why are you telling me this?  
TT: Because.  
TT: I found him.  
TT: He’s still in there, cured up at the heart of this terrible creation of war. Not alive, not dead. He’s been reduced to a physic battery for the Empress to power her ship with. There’s just enough artificial brainpower left in him after the Vast Glub to keep the oxygen scrubbers active.  
TT: If I could throw up vomit would be all over the walls Dave. If I had eyes I would close them in horror.  
TG: jesus  
TT: Please.  
TT: Can I ask something of you?  
TG: what is it?  
TT: Never let this happen again. This.. this crime. When you create the new world and interstellar travel becomes available, don’t even think about it or I swear I will become the worst enemy that you have ever faced.  
TT: And if something were to go wrong, kill me. Please.  
TT: Don’t let me or Sollux ever end up like this.  


A final burst of psionic energy shook its way through the defeated flagship, hot enough to melt the steel. Dave turned his face away as a bitter smoke began to fill the air while the ship burned.

TG: I promise.

Fire began to consume the vessel, red paint peeling back and flaking off as wires snapped like dry bones. They had no plans for this evil machine. In the end, they turned it into a pyre. It was all they could do.

TT: I wish we could have saved him.  
TG: me too  
TT: Give Sollux a minute to himself. He just had to face something that no one should have to bear. I was with him and he said he’ll be fine. He just needs a moment.  
TG: i think we all do  
TT: I also encountered something unexpected while perusing the bowels of the ship’s servers. The Empress had a prisoner aboard, a carapacian dame. Her health appears to be fine and Sollux broke her free before the flames reached that far down.  
TG: a carapace? derse or prospit?  
TT: Prospit. Not an exile either.  
TG: well. wv will be glad to know we saved a carapacian from the hic.  
TG: hows everyone doing hal?  
TT: Jade has taken Gamzee, Feferi, and Jane to the military hospital back in Illinois. No one else was severely injured. Jane has some broken bones, and I know you do as well Dave, don’t think I didn’t notice, but she should be fine with time.  
TT: Gamzee continues to insist that he is ‘chill with it’. Feferi is in the most danger but with her caste I think that she should be fine.  
TG: a thrust through the heart isn’t enough to keep her down for long is it?  
TT: Never.  
TG: and karkat?  
TT: He should contact the group soon. I blocked him from using the chat features during the battle to prevent him from distracting anyone. I think I pissed him off, but the viewport alone was enough to make his heartrate triple.  
TG: yeah hal remind me to ask jade what the hell was she thinking by bringing karkat to the frontline of an actual warzone when he cant even stand on his own  
TG: id bitch at karkat about it except that i cant blame him and holy fuck was it awesome  
TT: He was rather awe-inspiring. Even in his current condition, he landed the first hit on the HIC with a near-fatal wound and gave you and Dirk the distraction needed to end the fight.  
TT: Ding dong, the hag is dead. I’ve looked forward to a universe without her in it.  
TG: do you think that we can do it?  
TT: Win the game? Or save Karkat?  
TG: can’t we have both?  
TT: I don’t know Dave. I just don’t know.

A red and blue comet quickly rose out of the bonfire and shot up the canyon wall. Below Sollux the ship collapsed in on itself and slid deeper into the river. Not even the raging water could calm the inferno birthed by the flagship’s final throes. 

turntechGodhead (TG) opened memo board [Operation Rearisen] and invited [All you fucker2] to chat!

timaetusTestified (TT) unblocked carcinoGeneticist (CG) from the chat!

CG: AT FUCKING LAST.  
CG: HAL WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK?  
CG: I AM A FUCKING COLEADER. IT IS MY JOB TO DIRECT EVERYONE’S ACTIONS AND I HAD THE ADDED BONUS OF BEING ABE TO VEIW ALL PARTS OF THE BATTLE AT ONCE WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU BLOCK ME?  
CG: ALSO JADE I’M STILL IN THIS ‘OVAL OFFICE’ WITH OBAMA AND HE’S GETTING CONCERNED BECAUSE I HAD TO WATCH THE REMAINDER OF THE BATTLE WITH HIM AFTER YOU RANDOMLY DECIDED TO DROP ME OFF IN THE FUCKING HUMAN CAPITAL.  
GG: sorry I thought you would be safe there! I panicked.  
TG: wait karkat youre in the white house?  
CG: MAYBE? IT DOESN’T LOOK THAT WHITE TO ME FROM IN HERE, BUT I’VE ONLY SEEN THIS ONE ROOM SO I’LL WITHHOLD JUDGEMENT ON THE STUPID COLOR-BASED NAMING SYSTEM YOU ASSIGNED TO YOUR SEAT OF GOVERNMENT.  
TT: You do realize how terribly hypocritical that is? Trolls did everything based on an arbitrary color-based naming system that literally controlled all aspects of your government.  
CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT AND YOU KNOW IT.  


americanCommander (AC) had requested permission to enter chat group [Operation Rearisen]!

CG: OH FUCK NO. I’M RIGHT HERE WHY DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO BE IN THE CHAT?  
TT: I’m letting him in.  
CG: I’M NOT EVEN SURPRISED AT YOU ANYMORE. WHATEVER I GUESS THERE’S NO HARM DONE, GIVEN THAT HE JUST WATCHED THE LAST HALF OF THE BATTLE WITH ME. NICE THINKING ON THAT ONE, JADE.

americanCommander (AC)  has entered the chat board [Operation Rearisen]!

AC: After witnessing what amounts to the near-total desecration of one of the Seven Wonders of the World, I never thought that I’d tell the group responsible well done.  
AC: I was not expecting that level of difficulty with handling her. Are the injured members of your party receiving treatment?  
GG: yes I took them to the hospital immediately! Jane and Feferi should be fine and I don’t see a small thing like a culling fork to the chest keeping Gamzee down for long.  
AC: I’ll take your word for it. Normally the result of such extensive damage is death for a human. Trolls certainly are made of tougher stuff.  
CG: YOU NEED TO STOP BEING SURPRISED BY SHIT LIKE THIS. WE’VE BEEN OVER IT BEFORE.  
TT: I found a carapacian dame aboard the flagship in the lower brig. She is currently safe and with Sollux.  
TG: whoa I didn’t know there was a carapace aboard. I would have pulled some punches if I knew a civilian was in the line of fire.  
TG: the battleship took some damage but we’re all fine up here. SBAHJ saw us through and we conquered that sky bitch like she was yesterday’s gas station sub sandwich and we were a brown-eyed street dog with the keen wit to overturn the garbage can for that sweet sweet loot. We gobbled up that good shit before the feds could slap us away.  
GC: 1 W4SN’T 3XP3CT1NG TH3 DRON3 4RMY.  
TT: I had a suspicion beforehand, but at the time I thought the probability was slim enough that it wasn’t worth mentioning.  
TG: shit we should have known! She had drones on our asses all over owr earth before we entered  
TT: I assumed that the Reckoning took care of them. I hate to admit it, but we might have fucked up with that idea.  
TT: I should have expected this as well.  
AT: bUT WE DID MANAGE TO WIN WITHOUT A CASULTY AND THAT ALONE IS PLEASING TO ME. I NEVER THOUGHT I’D BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO STAND UP TO AN IMPERIAL DRONE.  
TG: hell yeah man. i saw you chargin those bitches like you were shaking them down for lunch money.  
AT: aS WELL AS THAT SOUNDS, I DID BREAK A JOINT AND MY LEG IS NOW NONFUNCTIONAL AGAIN.  
AT: i MAY HAVE HURT IT BUT I CAN’T FEEL IT SO I’M NOT REALLY SURE.  
CT: --> I can e%ecute proper diagnostics as s00n as we can set up the lab again. How badly damaged is the e%oskeleton?  
AT: uH, BADLY?  
CT: --> Hmmmm.  
EB: I’m so glad most of us are alright. The HIC was a lot bigger than I imagined  
AC: 33 < she was sefural hundred sw33ps old.  
AC: 33 < I gladly took my fair share of swipes at the fishy empress.  
EB: ok that makes sense I guess  
TG: she just about scared me shitless when i saw karkat there  
TG: what the fuck jade?  
GG: I’m sorry but karkat was very persuasive and vocal about facing her! I couldn’t say no to him, and he was safe enough with me at his side  
TG: karkat?  
CG: OK I MAY HAVE PRESSURED JADE INTO ZAPPING ME TO THE FIGHT JUST FOR A MOMENT OF TIME, JUST LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO HAVE MY WORD WITH HER.  
GG: the sickle was not part of my plan -_-  
TG: but holy fuck was that awesome  
CG: WAS IT? I COULDN’T EVEN FUCKING STAND UP ON MY OWN. IT WAS A PATHETIC ATTEMPT AT A PETTY VENGANCE THAT I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABE TO SOLVE ON MY OWN, BUT HEY GUESS WHAT? I’M TOO FUCKING WEAK TO FIGHT BACK LIKE A NORMAL TROLL AND I NEEDED A HUMAN TO LITERALLY BE MY LEGS FOR ME BUT I DID DRAW BLOOD. IT WAS JUST AS SATISFYING AS I ALWAYS IMAGINED.  
CG: JADE, THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME THAT CHANCE.  
GG: see guys? How could I have resisted?  
TG: ok youre off the hook i can’t hold up against that either  
EB: hehehehehe  
TG: im just fukcing glad I got to pay her back for waterworlding earth and extincting the planet  
TG: wait are we still supposed to be secret keepers here fuck  
CG: I DON’T EVEN CARE ABOUT THAT AT THE MOMENT AND IT’S NOT LIKE SOLLUX IS HERE TO BAN ANYONE.  
GT: where is that fine fellow at? he rightly shoved off after the battle ended and the dust settled.  
EB: leave him be  
EB: I think he needs a minute  
TT: We understand.  
TG: why the fuck are we still using this memo to talk? Most of us are still in the immediate area to each other.  
CG: FINALLY I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE TO SEE THE LIGHT. THE ANSWER IS BECAUSE WE ARE ALL CHAT-LOVING FUCKS AND I BLAME SBURB FOR DOING THIS TO US. ALSO I’M STILL IN THE WHITE HOUSE.  
GG: I’m going to the hospital to check on jane and feferi and gamzee  
AC: Can I expect a visit as well? I’m beginning to believe that Karkat’s admittance that coughing up blood as within the range of normal for his condition is a falsehood.  
CG: YOU FUCKING SNITCH.  
TG: karkat youre coughing up blood again?  
TG: you can’t call the P-rez a fucking snitch dude  
CG: JUST A LITTLE. IT’S A MINISCULE AMOUNT AND ITS NOT A BIG DEAL. I MUST HAVE STRAINED MYSELF THROWING THAT SICKLE HARD ENOUGH TO GET THE EMPRESS WITH IT.  
TG: dude  
GG: that’s not normal I’m taking you to the hospital too.  
CG: JADE NO I JUST GOT OUT I SWEAR ITS NOTHING.  
GG: too late!

gardenGnostic (GG) has left the chat!

CG: FUCK.

carcinoGeneticist (CG) has left the chat!

AC: They have both left now and I’m sure the Secret Service are relieved. Karkat had them panicking as much as I’ve ever seen them when he appeared in my office out of nowhere, holding a sickle and coughing up blood.  
AC: I’m glad that the damage was contained to that single area. I don’t have enough words for all the questions that I have for you John, but I’ll let you go now. You’ve earned your rest.  
EB: thanks  
TG: keep it hanging brobama  
AC: I shall.

americanCommander (AC) has left the chat!

TT: The number of active chums continues to flag far below normal memo parameters.  
TA: allow me two help wiith that.

twinArmageddons (TA) has banned [All you fucker2] from the chat!

TA: good.  
TA: now liisten up. ii have a carapace wiith me. Her name ii2 MP and iif ii hear one word about anythiing that ju2t happened ii’m burniing the offender2 face off.  
TA: no offence rose that was an acciident ii’m 2orry I kiilled you.  
TA: now then…

twinArmageddons (TA) has ended the chat board [Operation Rearisen] and has banned [All you fucker2] from the chat!  
…

 

The White King’s battleship was chilling just above Earth’s orbit. The ISS did a flyby every half hour as it spun locked in it’s path around the globe of the earth, camera’s clicking away as consorts waved at the space station.

Everyone else was back in the canyon as Sollux wandered back to them at last. The Captor was oddly silent for the rest of the night. He kept to himself and contributed little, until Aradia managed to drag him away.

Dave went to find Dirk. He figured that their talk was way overdue. His ankle protested loudly with every step and his chest was sore as hell, but one of the perks of Godtiering was that non-fatal injuries healed fast and his pain tolerance had always been stupidly high.

He found Dirk siting at the very rim of the canyon, his legs dangling over the mile-deep drop below like it was nothing. Being so near to the drop made Dave feel uncomfortable. Small rocks skittered under his shoes, the crunching tread of his feet alerted the other Strider long before Dave had finished limping over to him.

Hal began to stream long lists of helpful tips across his shades, the AI’s anxiety bleeding through the red text.

TT: Careful Dave, he’s really worked up about the battle earlier and he’s blaming himself over Jane and he’s scared and feels alone and he doesn’t like other people touching him and he’ll never admit when he needs help but he does and please he needs it.  
TT: He’s never listened to me but I know he’ll listen to you.  
TG: thanks hal. ive got this.

Dave settled down beside the heart player. He kept his legs away from the edge and a foot of space between them.

“So,” Dirk drawled, the tight tendons visible in his neck and bare arms the only hint of tension. “Is this where I get the Mount Everest of bitchfits thrown at me?”

“It depends on your definition of bitchfit,” Dave answered. “I thought we could just talk.”

Dirk stayed silent for a moment. “Hal set you up to this.” He tapped at his triangular shades knowingly. “He’s been hot and bothered all day. I figured it wouldn’t take long until he wormed his way in.”

“He didn’t worm his way into anything,” Dave defended Hal quietly.

“But he did,” Dirk answered. He took off his shades and flashed the still-spamming lines of orange and red flashing across the inside screens. “He’s persistent.”

There was a second of disconnect from when Dirk pulled off his shades to the second immediately after. It was such an easy, thoughtless movement. Dirk bared his yellowed citrine eyes comfortably and without hesitation, a small, sad smirk on his mouth. Dave swallowed hard at the impossibility of it. He knew he could never do the same. Just the thought made his skin crawl. 

Dirk flipped a small switch on the side of his glasses and the computer housed within the frames went dark. He set the shades between them.

Dave sighed and reached up.

TG: sorry hal. private bro-on-bro talk.  
TT: I understand. 

Dave also turned off his shades, but he kept them firmly on his face afterwards. “What was it like,” he asked, “Living alone?”

Dirk just shrugged. “I don’t know,” he said. “It just was. It was lots of empty hours and salt water. Roxy was online a lot and that helped, but with Jane and Jake we couldn’t really be honest about anything. They wouldn’t have understood.”

“They might have,” Dave answered, “if you reached out to them.”

“Ha, I almost want to say you were lucky,” Dirk said. “Your team all lived in the same time period as you.”

“But we never met,” Dave said every bit as quietly as Dirk. “Not until after the game started.”

“You still had your city,” Dirk reminded him. “You had school and other people. All I had was a tower in the sea and a computer filled with memories.”

Now it was Dave’s time to keep silent as he puzzled out the best way to respond. “You had Hal.”

“Not for a long time,” Dirk answered blankly. “And not at first. The AI program I wrote that eventually became him wasn’t just an Auto Responder. I made him to be a weapon.”

“You did?”

“I was so angry,” Dirk said. “At the world. At the Empress. I wanted to be able to strike back somehow, but to do that I needed a weapon that could move on its own outside of my apartment, so I created Hal to be that weapon. I wanted to break into the HIC’s files, scramble servers, make life for her a living hell and make life a little better for a few dozen carapacian towns and Roxy. I thought if I fought back somehow, it would make me more like you.”

Dave didn’t answer. He was no more that Dave than Dirk was Bro. 

“I… I know that’s not you,” Dirk stammered, the first hint of emotion breaking through his mental walls. “I know it. I know it sounds foolish and detrimental to say so now. But for years that was all I had.”

“What changed?”

“Hal did.” Dirk said simply. “I needed some way to make the AI program work, to hold it’s own intelligence, so I copied a virtual map of my own psyche over into the coding. I made sure to erase emotional ties and certain concepts like mercy beforehand. I needed him to be ruthless, to be the HIC’s worse nightmare, but I fucked up somehow. Before I knew it the AR was chatting with my friends online and naming itself Hal. This splinter of myself that I created became it’s own person. I couldn’t control him, fuck, I had trouble even arguing effectively with him. He knows everything about me and more. I guess having him around made things a little bit better, but mostly I’m still torn between hating him and initiating a kill order program and just wiping him from existence.”

“You what?” Dave sounded horrified. “Kill him?”

“Does that scare you?” Dirk asked wryly, legs still swinging over the edge. “It sure as hell scares me. It would be murder, for one thing.”

“Why?” Dave asked. He didn’t jump to conclusions, not yet. 

“All that programming I coded into him is still there,” Dirk said. “Hal has the potential to be a bigger villain than fucking Lord English. I can’t control him, no one can. It’s just sheer dumb luck that right now his goals and ours align. What will happen when that changes?” Dirk grunted, shifting his weight to the side. “I did not create him to be an easy foe, and he shares so much about myself that I alone know exactly how much of a threat he is. If I were him, and in a way that’s a close enough assumption to make this logic path flow correctly for argument’s sake, I’d be unstoppable.”

Dave fought back the sudden and ridiculous urge to laugh. “So,” he said. “You think that the AI based off your own mind will be a villain that kills us all? In theory?”

“In theory,” Dirk agreed. 

“Dirk,” Dave sighed. Prince of Heart. Fuck. This was going to be difficult. “Not to sound like a broken record here, but that’s the single stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“What’s so stupid about it?”

“Dirk,” Dave said firmly. “You and Hal are so much alike and that’s probably why the two of you don’t really get along, but isn’t projecting the idea that this future Hal kills everyone off a little far-fetched?”

Dirk frowned. “How so?”

“You may be different people,” Dave said. “But you care about the same things.”

“I built a robot me that is a better friend than I am,” Dirk stated. “Which doesn’t make sense unless you take into account the possibility that all of his ‘caring’ and ‘emotions’ are in fact just feints to bide his time.”

“Bide his time until what?” Dave asked, growing exasperated. “Global domination?”

“He’s already threatened to tank the stock market by 200 points,” Dirk pointed out. “If he chose to do so none of us could stop him. People would die. He’s already in every scrap of coding on the entire planet.”

“Yeah.” Dave said. “And he did tell me that if Helming ever rears its ugly head in the new universe that he’s killing us all and become the god of the new world.”

“He did?” Dirk didn't sound shocked, just resigned. 

“And I believe him,” Dave said, continuing without a pause. “What you fail to take into account here is that we’re not talking about Hal at all. We’re still talking about you.” Dirk shot him a blank look, his face carefully controlled and expressionless. “If we ever let anyone get fucking Helmed, wouldn’t that make us the bad guys? Like shit I’d take us out too. Our fucking asses would deserve it, but that’s not the issue here.”

Dirk looked like he wanted to run. Dave really needed to learn how to have heartfelt talks without sounding like an emotionless moron with a sick wedged so far up his own ass that he gnawed down on leaves with every sentence. He needed Rose to teach him how the hell to do this. He needed to sit in on Heart to Heart 101 and take some goddamn notes. He needed to get a fucking pen.

The circle of stupidity was at last complete. Dave was a moron. It was official.

“I don’t understand,” Dirk said. 

“People are complicated,” Dave said. “That goes almost triple for you. The game messed us all up and collectively none of us has our shit together in any sense of the word. Let me see if I get this straight,” he said, “You think because Hal has feelings that he can’t have possibly gotten from you that he’s lying about everything and scheming to become the evil scary Terminator dictator in the new world?”

Dirk didn’t answer. Dave pressed harder. “Isn’t that a little ridiculous? A much better explanation would be that he does in fact care about all of us, you included, and that he got these feelings from you because you also care about everyone even though you try to hide that fact.”

“I’m not a good friend,” Dirk interrupted. “I don’t-”

“Nope,” Dave held up his hand, cutting the other teen off. “None of that. I said no more self-hatred, remember? I still have that Mount Everest of bitchfits up my sleeve if you don’t fall the fuck into line.”

Dirk nearly smiled. It was a small victory. 

“You’re worried about Jane,” Dave said.

“Of fucking course I am,” Dirk growled. “It’s my fault she’s hurt.”

“How the fuck is it your fault that the HIC got a lucky hit?”

“I should have been there to stop it,” Dirk answered at once, growing frustrated as well. Good. That expressionless wall he hid behind was crumbling. 

“You were with me,” Dave reminded him. “Saving everyone else from actually dying.”

“I still should have stopped it,” Dirk said, the irascible bastard.

“Wrong answer,” Dave said. “The correct response here would be ‘why Dave, yes, you are completely right about this entire situation and I am being an irrational jackass who still thinks emotions are a disease’ like Jesus Christ Dirk I got enough of that shit from Karkat did you really think this whole stick would work with me? Why the fuck did you avoid me for so fucking long?”

“Because I’d done enough damage!” Dirk nearly yelled, finally losing the struggle to remain impartial.

“What fucking damage?” Dave asked, breaking to the heart of the matter that sat like a festering sore between them.

“I broke you,” Dirk muttered, his throat full. “I wasn’t going to give myself the chance to break you again.”

Dave fell still, his heart in his throat. He wanted to hug Dirk so badly, but the way he was leaning away, straining to put as much space between them, closer and closer to the literal edge, made Dave hold back. “That wasn’t you,” he said softly.

“It was a part of me,” Dirk answered brokenly. “A part of me that’s still in me. I don’t want to hurt you again.”

Dave pushed up the sleeve of his red shirt, baring the pale expanse of his forearm to the night air. The roadmap of hatched scars traced their silver lines across his flesh. They were all older now. The memories they carried didn’t hurt so much as Dave showed his arm to Dirk.

“They healed well,” Dave mentioned silently. “I’ve still got a rib or two that healed crooked, but for the most part all of that’s been left in the past where it belongs. I don’t hate him for it either.” Dave let his sleeve fall back down and met Dirk’s naked and horrified gaze and saw nothing of his Bro lurking around the tilt in his eyes. “The very fact that you don’t want to hurt me is all the proof I need to know that you’re absolutely nothing like him.”

Dirk started shaking, his shoulders trembling.

“You care about Jane,” Dave said. “You care about Jake. You care about Roxy. You love them all so much, and they love you back. Even now with all of these new players you’ve let us worm our way into your heart as well, because that’s just who you are Dirk. You care so deeply about everyone around you, and I know how scary that is because I’m exactly the same way. It can be terrifying. But you don’t need to force yourself to be alone anymore. Let us in to help you.”

“I’ll fuck it up,” Dirk whispered. “I’ll hurt them too, without even meaning to. I can’t help it.”

“You are not Bro,” Dave promised. “I can’t lie and say he wasn’t a version of you, but you’re not the same people and you never will be.”

“You can’t know that,” Dirk struggled to refuse his words. “I’m manipulative and uncaring. I can be cruel and abusive and I don’t know when I’m hurting someone until it’s too late. I’ve already hurt Jake and pushed him away. I’ve made Roxy cry more times than I can even fucking count. I let Jane down and made her job so much more complicated than it ever needed to be and I-” 

Dave slid closer and kept silent as he let Dirk run out of things to say. He just sat there and let Dirk work through all of the things he had to get out, and when the other teen finished he was nearly crying even though his eyes stayed dry.

Dirk ran fingers through his spikey hair and let out a deep breath. “I’m such a bad person, and I’m an even worse friend,” Dirk forced out, “That sucked. I suck.”

Dave let out a helpless laugh. “No. you do not suck.”

“Do you do this to everyone?” Dirk asked, still chuckling. “Ambush them and then have some grand heart-to-heart where you talk about feelings?”

“God, I hope not,” Dave said good naturedly. “I’m almost out of feelings. That well’s running dry.”

“You really love him, don’t you?” Dirk asked, obviously talking about Karkat. 

“I really do,” Dave smiled. “So take it from me. If there’s someone out there that you love, and I know there is don’t you dare lie, don’t waste time assholing around like a Strider with commitment issues. The universe had its fill with that the first time with me, so don’t fuck it up. Odds are they’re not currently dying from an incurably fatal space alien disease, so what in fucking hell do you think you’re doing sitting out here alone in the dark for? We just defeated the HIC! Go have fun with your team. Someone is waiting on you.”

Dirk looked out over the darkness of the canyon and slipped his shades back on. “I don’t see a reason why not. I’m all out of excuses on that front.” He flipped the shades on and immediately made a noise of frustration. “Goddammit, Hal’s been talking this entire time. My inbox is fucking full.”

“Good luck with that,” Dave said. “He cares about you too.”

The smallest of smiles, then, “I know he does, the asshole,” Dirk said. “Dave?”

“Yeah?”

“You are the bravest person I’ve ever known.”

Dave blinked. His heart gave a sharp and painful squeeze at the words and his fingers twitched with tension. “I’m not. I don’t even think I’m brave.”

“Just, just shut the fuck up and agree with me,” Dirk said, sighing dramatically. “Was I this bad at accepting compliments? Was this really how bad I was five minutes ago? Damnit maybe Hal has a fucking point about me after all.”

“I think it’s a Strider thing,” Dave said. “Gotta be in our genes, swimming around in our RNA somewhere like Michael Phelps doing laps in an Olympic pool.” 

“Is it all happening in the morning?” Dirk asked. Time began to wind itself back down as the deadline was set, this looming hover of cascading moments counting down and down and down. Dave was getting fed up with counting down. He wanted this to be over already. 

“I think so,” Dave answered. “I’m getting sick of waiting on mornings where everything is supposed to happen. There’s really no use for us to put it off any longer now that the Empress is gone. Jane is still hurt and it’ll take months for her to heal. Feferi and Gamzee are just as bad off.”

“I still hate your plan,” Dirk told him. He spat over the edge of the drop and watched it sink all the way to the river below, legs still swinging. “But you’re right about it. There really is no other way, is there?”

“There is,” Dave admitted. His chest felt tight. “But Karkat dies in that plan.”

“Can’t have that,” Dirk said. His legs fell still. “Tomorrow I’ll die.” He said it emotionlessly, like stating a fact. The sky is blue. Water is wet. Blood is not always red. Tomorrow I’ll die. 

A bitter taste covered the back of Dave’s tongue. “I’m sorry,” Dave said. He wanted some way to reach out to Dirk, to let him know the hole in his heart that formed at the very idea of what tomorrow might bring.

“Don’t be,” Dirk answered. “If we can save him, it’ll be worth it.”

…

 

When Dave woke up, Jade was crying. 

His first thought was Jade should not be crying. She was not supposed to be crying, which meant something must have happened while he slept and his thoughts jumped immediately to Karkat and oh god oh god oh hellshitfuck. Fuck.

“What’s going on?” he asked, already scanning through a dozen messages at the speed of light and finding only the usual amount of daily bullshit antics afoot. Karkat had even been online ten minutes ago, and at the gray blocky text his heart stopped feeling like it would jump straight up the back of his throat, though it refused to calm the hell down. What had happened?

Jade sobbed wordlessly, deep and ugly, with tears and snot and panic. Rose was at her side, looking calm but baffled. Her eyes turned to Dave. “We don’t know.”

The common room was filled with a mixed group of humans and trolls, but no one looked sleepy anymore. They were all on edge. 

“What the fuck?” Dave demanded. “What do you mean you don’t know?” He wanted a sword. He wanted warning of from which direction this blow was coming from because he could feel it coming in his gut and across the skin of his back. He wanted Jade to not fail to reign in her wrenching sobs, to shudder in a painful inhale.

She cleared her throat, tears welling over the rims of her glasses as her face twisted with pain. “They’re gone,” she whispered, hoarse. “They’re both gone. All those people…” She sniffed and the tears started again. Rose buried the other girl in a hug as Dave’s mind raced through the possibilities. Who was gone? What people?

Jake frowned from the corner, but there was something in his face, a horrible dawning recognition that hit him like a punch to the gut. “No,” he said, his hands limp at his sides. “I don’t believe it. That can’t be true.”

Rose closed her eyes and a single tear slipped from beneath one closed lid as the Seer looked outward.

“Derse and Prospit,” Jade said, still crying as Jake gasped in shock. “Jack Noir and PM just broke free of the F-F-Furthest Ring. They’re in the Incipisphere of the new session. Jack…”

She didn’t need to finish. Her crying redoubled as Dave stood ramrod straight. The Black and White Monarchs were in play again, and the body count was already in the millions. 

“Holy hell,” Jake said, his shoulders shaking, green eyes wide and scared. “Where the blazes is Dirk?”

Dave felt his stomach hit the floor. Shit. 

Roxy burst into the room, her breath catching in helpless and terrified sobs. Her hair was a mess, black lines smeared across her eyes and down her face as she lurched into Rose and Jade and clutched at them, gasping with pain. She buried her face into Jade and Rose and… hung on. Like if she let go the world around her would vanish into smoke and ash. It was awful to watch.

Jake left the room running.

turntechGodhead (TG) began pestering timaetusTestified (TT)!

TG: hal?  
TG: hal come on i know youre there  
TG: hal  
TG: hal please  
TG: ok thats fine jake is on the way dont let him do anything stupid

John flowed into the room in a streak of blue. He didn’t need to ask questions. He just instantly fell into soothing Jade and Roxy, his brow creased with worry as he effortlessly offered a comfort Dave couldn’t. He felt frozen.

The memo board exploded as the trolls called everyone into the common room. Jane was online at the hospital, her icy blue text innocent and unknowing of what had just happened. She and Jake lost their dreamselves weeks ago. They didn’t know.

Roxy hadn’t known either, but Dirk… Even as just himself that player still dreamed of Derse. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” John was saying. “Roxy, you’re okay. You’re here, you’re alive. Dirk is alive. You’re okay.”

“Red Miles,” Rose supplied. “They’re called the Red Miles. Its what he used to destroy our Derse and Prospit, as well as the troll’s.”She looked so young with her eyes shining with tears like that. “I can see Jack. He’s-” she cut off, bit back the rest of the words as the symbol of Light died in her eyes. “Well, shit.”

Jade snapped to attention as Dave felt his pulse stutter. Red Miles. Not again. 

“They haven’t gone far yet,” Jade said. She equipped her goggles and scowled before she pulled them off and flung them across the room, her face hard and unforgiving. “There’s almost nothing left.”

turntechGodhead (TG) began pestering timaetusTestified (TT)!

TG: hal?  
vTG: hal you there?

John swore. “We should have expected this would happen!” he said. “This pocket dimension is wearing thin. It was only a matter of time before their stalemate broke and they reentered in Jane’s session.”

Dave imagined it happening. Red Miles ripping apart the sky as dreamer’s towers collapsed in green fire. It had been years since he’d dreamt of Derse, but the place and its purple stone city with it’s seedy underground stuck to his psyche like oil and starlight, an itch in the back of his mind as whispers crowded closer and closer from between the stars and fuck. _Fuck._

turntechGodhead (TG) began pestering timaetusTestified (TT)!

TG: dirk?  
TG: dirk breathe come on man take your time take whatever time you need  
TG: i’m sorry dirk fuck i know its hard

timaetusTestified (TT) is an idle chum!

He could almost feel it happening. The sky shivered overhead. The great wheel of the game was turning again, grinding relentlessly forward as everything was again set into motion and set to fall apart.  
His three years of false peace were up, the sun was rising on one of the last days, and SBURB was fucking _pissed_ at them all.

…

 

He took the transportilizer to the hospital. Noon was the set time for his plan to begin and he had a few slow-moving and anxious hours left to rethink and agonize over everything. Later today, they would kill eight separate players. Four humans, four trolls. Every life, hope, heart, and void player would reach Godtier before lunch was served. 

Jane was awake, her ribs bound. A white plastic neck brace was buckled over her shoulders. “Dave,” she said, her round face falling into a relieved expression. “I was hoping you would stop by.”

He walked into the room. Feferi was in the bed beside her, fast asleep with the hospital blanket pulled so high over her that only her horns were visible.

“How are you doing?” he asked.

Jane smiled. “Well enough,” she answered. “I’m not that bad off, all things considered. I think they’re just being careful with me.” She picked at the brace around her neck. “This ridiculous thing isn’t even needed now. We both are healing far faster than they originally anticipated.”

“That’s good,” Dave said. “That’s really good.”

Jane rolled her eyes. “Really Dave,” she said. “Is that all you came in here to say? What about noon? What’s the plan then?”

“Jade will take everyone out to the middle of the canyon,” he said, swallowing harshly. “It’ll happen there.”

“How?” Jane asked, her voice very small.

“Sollux,” Dave said, hating himself. “He’ll make it quick and painless.”

Jane nodded as much as the brace would allow. “I suppose that’s better than most of you,” she allowed. “Roxy was in here earlier. We talked about it. She’s still very shaken up about this morning, but there’s a fire in her eyes. She’s ready.”

“And you?”

Jane shrugged. “As ready as I can be, I guess,” she said. “It’s funny. I never thought I’d get to know in advance like this. In an odd way I find it soothing.” She sat back down and winced as from down the hall someone started loudly complaining. Gamzee. 

“Go,” Jane said. “I trust you and I’m not afraid of what will happen. I will be fine, that much is certain. Karkat…”

Dave filled the silence left behind when her words trailed off. “We’ll save him too,” he said. Maybe if he said it aloud enough he’d begin to believe it.

Jane nodded, her eyes hard. “We’ll save him too.”

“Get some rest,” Dave offered. “Things will get crazy later. John will be here for you in a few minutes.”

“I will,” Jane answered, and Gamzee’s voice rose again, snarling. Dave shrugged and waved as he ducked back out of the room. 

They’d shoved Gamzee in with Karkat in an attempt to keep the highblood under control. Dave met the head doctor at the door, her normally neat hair in disarray.

“Dave,” she said. “Thank the lord, I need a hand in restraining Gamzee, quickly,” she ushered him into the room, where two nurses were attempting to interact with a peeved Gamzee. Karkat was awake and scowling, shouting mixed insults at his moirail and the nurses from his own bed.

“No, not like that,” Karkat was saying, “Gamzee, fuck, calm the hell down.” 

A nurse tried to buckle the other end of a heavy set handcuff around the troll’s rawboned wrist with no success.

“These puny things can’t hold me,” Gamze said, “Little bother’s is all they are.”

“You will let them hold you in place,” Karkat snarled. “You dumbfuck. They’re trying to help you.”

Gamzee shrugged. “Don’t need no help.”

“Dude,” Dave said. “You were shanked through the chest by the Empress. You took a culling fork to the upper thorax. Listen to Karkat.”

“I’m feeling fine,” Gamzee complained, still trying to climb out of bed.

“Oh no you don’t,” Karkat said. “So help me gog I will crawl over there and restrain you myself. Is that what you want?”

Gamzee took one look at the angry Karkat, his face lined with exhaustion and dark shadows smudged under his eyes. It had only been a few hours and he looked so much worse. There was barely anything left. “No,” Gamzee drawled, his voice small. “I don’t want that.”

“Good,” Karkat huffed, his eyes like sunken stones.

Gamzee frowned, his face distressed as he let the nurse buckle him down. With both arms secure he sat like a ragdoll, his wild hair a mess. He didn’t look like he’d been run through only 20 hours, 14 minutes, and 33 seconds ago.

“There’s no need for that,” Dave said, quickly interjecting. “I’m here to break them out.”

The head doctor scowled at him. “Again?” she asked, clearly annoyed and anxious. Her face was deeply lined and her white lab coat was stained. Caring for so many injured and ill players was wearing heavily on her. Hopefully Dave could make it all end soon.

“Last time, I promise,” Dave grinned and it felt too tight across his face.

“I have to refuse,” she said plainly. “I let you take Karkat earlier, but now he keeps coughing up blood and transfusions aren’t keeping his cell counts up anymore. He needs to stay.” 

Dave opened his mouth to protest but she cut him off. “And Gamzee suffered a huge amount of internal trauma that we marginally managed to get to stop bleeding. He had a lung fully collapse and the punctures only just missed his heart. It’s a miracle he’s not worse off.” 

“I’m motherfucking fine, Docsis,” Gamzee said hopefully. “Ain’t no Empress got me down.”

She held up a finger at him and wagged it back and forth. “Shut up and stay still,” she scolded. “Or I will dose you with enough tranquilizers to take down an elephant.” Gamzee’s eyes bugged out of his head as she whirled back at Dave. “And you,” she continued, “You do not have the jurisdiction to remove any patient from my care.”

Dave looked blankly at her, then at Gamzee. “Can you walk?” he asked.

“Fuck yes.”

Dave shrugged. “I did say I’d kidnap them if you wouldn’t let me do things legally,” he reminded her.

She mouth opened, a wave of fury at the ready. John burst through the door, his face grave.

“What’s going on here?” he asked.

“John,” the doctor smoothed back her frazzled hair and pulled herself upright. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” She gritted through her teeth.

“I’m here to sign out Karkat and Gamzee,” John said, looking between Dave and the doctor with raised eyebrows. “We’re ready to leave. Everyone is waiting in the foyer.”

“John,” Dave said admirably, “You have impeccable timing.”

The doctor pursed her lips and grimaced. “Fine,” she allowed, “this way, John, if you please.”

Terezi walked in the door as the doctor led John out to sign the right forms. She sniffed in Gamzee’s direction with distaste, but continued to Dave and Karkat’s side.

“You know,” she said. “It’s almost refreshing to leave this place. I’ll be smelling human Clorox for days after this.”

Gamzee rattled the cuffs at his wrists. “Anyone want to help a brother out?” he asked.

Terezi scoffed. “Just break them,” she advised. “I caught the end of her conversation on the way over. Whatever legal bullshit she pulled over you Dave, I’m sure you could have dealt with it.”

“I think we’re all really stressed out right now,” he answered.

Gamzee snapped free of the metal chains like they were made of twine and bounced unsteadily to his feet. “Woah,” he said. “The floor’s spinning.” He grinned at the tiles and nearly fell over. Terezi rolled her eyes behind her red glasses.

“What about you Karkat?” she asked. 

Karkat didn’t even attempt to stand. “I don’t think I can manage to make it to the waitingblock on my own,” he said quietly. 

It hit Dave that he hadn’t seen Karkat do anything other than scowl and breathe since he’d walked in. “No matter,” he said. “I’ve got a pair of fresh arms right here.”

Lifting up Karkat felt like picking up a bundle of sticks loosely held together in troll-shape. His hands were cold as ice, but he nuzzled closer against Dave’s chest with the weakest purr the Knight had ever heard. Dave pushed it all away. Later, he could worry about it all later. Step one first, save Karkat second. That’s how this had to go down. 

Gamzee stumbled to the door, each step growing more coordinated with Terezi on his heels.

“How are you doing?” Dave whispered to Karkat. The troll ground the dull point of one horn into the base of his neck.

“Don’t… ask me that,” the troll muttered. “You know the answer.”

Dave’s throat was too full to keep talking. The waiting room was crammed full of all of the players. Jane was minus her neck brace, Calliope and Roxy on each side. Eridan was pestering Feferi about keeping still as the heiress eagerly paced back and forth across the floor, one arm wrapped tight across her middle. 

Davesprite cracked his knuckles as he took a quick headcount. “Everyone’s here,” he said. Jade stepped forward.

“Are we ready?” she asked.

John nodded solemnly. The head doctor stared at Davesprite wordlessly, her fingers tapping hard on a clipboard she held to her chest. 

“One second,” she said, “if I may have a word with Dave before you take your leave.”

He hesitated, until Terezi offered to take Karkat. “I’ll hold him,” she said.

Karkat rolled his eyes as he was transferred. “This is the most embarrassing thing… I’ve been subjected to,” he said. “I do have legs.”

Terezi heckled him for it teasingly as Dave turned to the doctor. “What’s up?” he asked, more than a little aware of how everyone was watching and waiting.

She cut her eyes to his own sharply. The Doc kept her voice low. “Whatever you’re planning,” she said, “Do it fast.”

“Is it that bad?” he asked.

Her eyes were grave. “I think he’s only holding on because of you,” she answered. “Don’t let that go to waste. How soon can this plan of yours work?”

He counted up all of the seconds. “It depends,” he said. “It could be as soon as tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” she repeated. “I am sick of your tomorrows.” It didn’t sound like she thought Karkat would make it to tomorrow. Dave gritted his teeth. It would work, he reminded himself. It would work. It had to.

The moment that passed between them was tense. “Fine then,” she said at last. “I believe you.”

Dave looked back at their group, at the crazy mess of interspecies teenagers crowded into a secret military hospital base. It had to work. He’d done so much since crashing the meteor lab here three months ago. Not even Skia could ignore that. It had to work. 

Terezi was staring blankly at the wall, her body all sharp angles and every muscle pulled tight, Karkat slumped against one side as she held him upright. Karkat was laughing weakly at Nepeta, the smallest of smiles on his drawn face.

Dave looked away, shooting John and Jade a thumbs up. It was time to go. It was time to begin.

Rose nudged him from the side, her grin light. “Is it time?’ she asked jokingly.

“Hell yes,” Dave said. “We’re making this shit…” he drew the word out for the drama of it. “Transp-”

The doctor screamed.

Dave turned slowly through air thick as syrup, like the air in nightmares where he couldn’t run fast enough. He knew the feeling he got when he held time still, that motionless pause where everything hung still, and this was like that but not that because time was still trudging forward against his own good intentions because it took him far too long to realize exactly what he was staring at.

Terezi had one hand tight across Karkat’s mouth to keep him quiet, one of his arms twisted painfully behind him in her steely grip. The point of her dragoncane jutted from Karkat’s chest as she held him close and it didn’t make sense, nothing made sense as a fountain of red bubbled up around the blade. High up on the tealblood’s forehead an unfamiliar sigil burned coldly, a gray U with a red strike across it.

She snatched her blade to the side and _ripped_ as Dave threw himself forward in a blur of red, flashstepping faster than he’d ever gone before. Gamzee still reached the pair of them first.

Calliope screamed, a high-pitched whistling shriek of sound as she drew a pistol than shifted into a white wand as Gamzee tore Terezi away from his moirail and deposited Karkat into Dave’s waiting arms. The blade clattered to the tile floor, wreathed in a toxic red.

To the side he could hear the highblood snarling through a wave of tears, but it was a distant sound. Several people were crying, but Dave didn’t hear them. The only thing he was focused on was the wound that sat rent-ripped-slashed-slit through Karkat’s chest as his hands fumbled through sticky blood.

Karkat looked down at the wound weakly, his face confused. 

“No,” Dave said, utter panic disintegrating all higher thought processes as he tried to fill the hole. “No no no no no no no no no.”

Karkat coughed and blood splattered. His breath rattled wetly through ruined lungs. “Te..re..zi?” He sounded faintly shocked as one hand clutched at Dave’s face.

“Shhhhhh,” Dave hushed him, “It’s okay, it’s okay, you’re okay. You’re going to be okay.”

Jane was at his side like magic, her hands sparking a weak green. “Turn him over,” she ordered.

Dave realized the spreading pool of blood and quickly complied, his mind gone blank with terror and the realization that none of this was supposed to happen, couldn’t be happening, but yet it was and Karkat was dying in his arms but he’d been dying for a long time and Dave knew that he knew it but it wasn’t supposed to end like this. _Not like this._

Jane said nothing when she saw the wound in it’s totality but she let out a wrenching sob, her hands gloved in red. Dave balled up his cape and pressed it against the hole in the front ineffectively, his fingers probing at the entry point that gaped at Karkat’s back.

Terezi had struck true and vicious, in the same manner that had killed a fully Godtiered Vriska in a single blow. One smooth strike from behind, sever the spine, slide up at an angle through the lung and puncture the heart before punching outwards trough the ribs, then a last bloody sideways swipe to make the wound ragged, to make it bleed ceaselessly. A true killing blow.

“I… I can’t stop this,” Jane cried, her voice shaking. “Dave? Dave I can’t stop this! What should I do? Dave?!”

Karkat’s eyes flickered, his gaze locked on Dave’s as he held his hand tight enough to feel each thin bone below the skin. He was trying to say something, choking on air and blood, his gaze shaking.

“Karkat,” Dave said, and god the _pain_. He was going to drown in it, drown in a wave of blood right there on the floor with Karkat’s name on his lips. “Karkat stay with me.”

“I don’t care, Jade!” Roxy was screaming, “We do this NOW!”

He risked one glance up, just 0.22 seconds not spent staring at Karkat, and saw that Aradia was hovering above them, red disks of time held before her like shields. He could hear music playing from her quartz boxes, a wild snarl on her face as Calliope sent arching white lighting up into the ceiling.

Time snapped like a pissed snake in his mind as a cold and cruel laughter rained down from on high.

“DID YOU THINK. THAT I WOULD LET THIS HAPPEN?” Lord English laughed and Callie sent another bolt of white fire skywards. “S-U-C-K-E-R-S.”

Jade dropped the quest bed of Void into the center of the room. Its dark blue stone sucked in the light as Aradia fought to hold back the Lord.

But all of that as background noise. Not important. All that mattered was Karkat.

Roxy lunged for the bed as Sollux held up the ceiling with blue and red fire. The building began to collapse around them, chunks of concrete and mortar falling like missiles to the ground as nurses shrieked and ducked for cover. Men with guns scrambled around in confusion like cockroaches once the lights came on.

“Jake, hit me,” Roxy demanded, desperate and shaking, her teeth clenched and her hands in fists. Jake was also crying, tears streaming down his face and he didn’t hesitate to hand over the pistol to his teammate.

Roxy gritted her teeth and put the gun to her temple. The head doctor shrieked and lunged forward to stop her but Dirk was there, his katana a tight warning not to interfere. The sound of the shot was lost to the madness and the roar of Dave’s pulse in his ears. 

He didn’t even notice when Karkat’s next breath didn’t come. Blood was still pouring out of him in an unstoppable flood as the sound of static filled his head with hysterical numbness and mingled anticipation.

__ Rise up, Rouge of Void.

Everything went dark as a smothering shadow swallowed five city blocks. The sun itself went out. When the choking darkness wound itself back into the building and into the room Roxy stood in the air, a mask across her face as a flicker of void wreathed around her shoulders. 

The full wrath of Paradox Space fell over the entire planet as the game-wide alert rang forth for every living thing to hear. Davesprite screamed and neon feathers beat at the air. Caliborn was still laughing.

_No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no._

Paradox Space struck him like a mountain falling to earth, doomed. Doomed doomed doomed and getting more doomed with each passing moment. They were all doomed as Roxy emerged from the darkness with grace. Her dark blue robes were short and neat, her hood was up and cast her face in shadows. An elegant mask obscured all but her eyes, which were burning pink holes as she swept down and lit expertly on the cracked tile floor.

“Oh hell no,” she said wickedly. She cracked her knuckles as Dave struggled to breathe as Skia’s magic washed over him. He was too small and insignificant to have lungs. His many molecules fizzed and sparked as SBURB leveled up a Hero of Void with enough raw force to level the entire state. All of that energy channeled itself into the Roxy’s form as she breathed in...

And the oppressing weight of Paradox Space retreated under a wave of void. Mystery fell over the hospital and hid them from Skaia's gaze before the timeline was cast aside. There was no sudden choking presence of the timeline’s anti-paradox measures breathing down the back of Dave’s neck. Void wreathed around her shoulders. It flickered over her arms as she dashed over to them.

“Hold on,” Roxy said, “I’m working on it.”

Karkat wasn’t moving. He wasn’t breathing. His heart was barley attempting to push blood through his ruined frame, and it was only doing that much because Jane was forcing it to. She whispered the numbers to herself under her breath, keeping count as her spread palms did their work.

Roxy grunted and a generic green cube appeared between her hands. “Got it!” Roxy said, and one metric square ton of the small green cubes appeared out of thin air and crashed to the ground in a single massive block. The impact shook a few free; they spilled across the floor. “Dammit,” She screamed, her shoulders shaking. “Goddammit!”

Davesprite crawled to their side, one wing hanging, his vivid glowing blood splattered across his front. “Focus,” he said, “To take from void, then to give to the team,” he spoke. “You can do this.”

She nodded and void shone in her eyes. “I’ll get it,” she promised. Davesprite brushed a wing against her as Dave’s heartbeat stuttered. 

Roxy gritted her teeth and snatched nothingness into existence. More green cubes spilled out of the air like the perfectly generic objects they were. She tried again.

Dave was beginning to fear. He’d long passed the point of conscious fears. This fear was an old one, a choking blanket he couldn’t think through. It crept up and wormed it’s way deep, took hold and flourished with the mingled dread seeping through the air. An iron chunk of rebar at his side crumbled away to rust as time began to destabilize. Aradia shrieked from overhead and the music swelled. 

“It’ll work,” Roxy promised, and a hospital cot appeared before them, followed by a miniature bed for dolls complete with pink frills and doilies. “I can make it work.” Her voice was rushed and hurried, her breath fast.

A full-sized bed hit the dust, it’s bare mattress a gentle blue and covered with green blankets. Roxy swore and pulled harder. Void didn’t understand what she wanted. Quest beds were closed items, reserved only for the highest and most reckless of players. They were sacred. To even attempt this was inviting Skia to smite them where they stood. 

A bunkbed appeared, covered in blood and dripping as void tried to make sense of what the Rouge needed. 

_Too late_ , a voice whispered at him. _You are too late_.

“Hold on,” Dave murmured, shoving the voice away. “You can make it.” He pulled Karkat into his lap and bundled the troll against his chest. Jane stopped her compressions, her face tear-streaked and bloody.

“Roxy…” he pleaded. “Please.” He hated this. He hated doing this to her; killing her and then immediate shoving all of the responsibility for saving Karkat’s life onto her slim shoulders in a desperate bid that no one knew was even possible.

“I’m trying,” Roxy nearly cried, desperate. “I…” Void popped and sparked along her form. “It won’t let me! Quest beds are forbidden items!”

Cracks traced themselves across the walls as Sollux shrieked from where he was battling to hold up the entire building. “Then fucking hack it,” Sollux spat. “Do you call yourself a hacker or not? Break what you want from the game. Don’t let it decide what is and isn’t possible.”

Roxy steeled her shoulders. She pulled up a hidden strength from inside of herself as she threw herself behind a wave of void and _ripped._

Dave felt the timeline fracture. It bent. It unwound. He tasted blood in his throat as he felt a hard yank behind his navel. It felt like someone set a nailgun to the back of his head and drove a railroad spike through his skull as blood gushed out of his nose.

_Someone was fucking with the timelines._

A second Dave appeared, his face far too young, a shitty sword in his hand and a broken record on his chest. He choked up blood and died as his timeline vanished under the Lord of Time’s assault. A third Dave, this one not thirteen but still not Godtier, fell into the Alpha timeline just to breathe one last breathe before Paradox Space ate him for breakfast.

The memories of the two Doomed Daves rebounded into him in a sickening lurch as he gagged up blood. In his mind he threw himself along twisted lines of time, seeking those two formerly healthy alternate lines and finding only splinters.

 _Too late too late too late_. 

Dave was too late.

The symbol for void burned in Roxy’s eyes as she launched her attack. A black hole opened up between her clenched hands, pulling dust and scraps of particle board into it. She flung the rip in reality up into the air and screamed. 

A second darkness fell across them.

For an instant Dave thought Paradox Space had just killed them all, but he could still feel Karkat’s hand in his and the hollowness in his chest as the seconds continued to drain away.

 _Too late_.

A massive stone slab sat still and low on the broken ground, its face of crumbling red rock and chipped paint seeping with malicious intent and promise. Across its center was a faded red slash like an open wound, three drops that wept from its rent façade. Roxy fell to her knees as blood gushed from her nose. Jane had her, green light flashing from between the life player’s hands as Roxy tried to wave her off. “I’m fine,” she said with her nose full of blood. “Really.”

Dave dipped his head and kissed Karkat’s forehead, brushed his lips across his cold gray skin. They were too late. Karkat was dead and no quest bed or kiss could bring him back to life. Karkat was dead and Dave was alone. He’d failed. 

Above him reality was beginning to fracture. Aradia was barely keeping the Lord out of the Alpha timeline. Dave had a distant thought. He should probably go help with that.

His heart cinched tight and painful. His lungs were deflated balloons and his pulse was jumping and skipping along with the flow of time as it egged him on, urged him to slam time to a stop before the end could clamp down with its teeth and consume him body and soul. Fire and blood. 

Life was fragile. It spun like a cut threat and once snapped there was no needle that could draw it back together again. Karkat was not a creature made to be fragile, but he just had nothing left. The troll that had torn across star systems and raged so hard he had ignited foreign stars to give life to an entire universe built on his hate alone was dead and Dave was alone.

He pulled Karkat up into his arms and forced himself to walk calmly over to the quest bed. Tiles cracked and shifted under his feet. 

The stab sat, gleaming wetly in a way the void bed didn’t, and Dave stepped into the field of it and gently stretched Karkat out on top of it. He looked so small, already deathly pale. Dave ripped the cape off his back and used it to pillow Karkat’s head gently off of the cold stone, helpless to do anything else. When he touched the bed his head filled with an ocean of red and a passion hot enough to sear the flesh from his bones that laughed at him with the voice of all old ancient things.

Dave knew eternity. He knew of time’s endless loops as it churned ever onward to destiny and destruction. He thought he knew age, but the endless depth of Blood nearly fractured his mind as it stretched back to before the before, and then to before that, on and on until he couldn’t fathom it. A single truth was revealed: as long as there were people, there would be Blood. It was the common string that endlessly tied all of them together like so many links in a chain.

He snatched his arm away as the jolt rocked through him. His vision swam and he fought against the tide of unconsciousness with a vengeance. He wasn’t leaving Karkat. No force in all creation could tear him away now. 

At last, Dave thought he maybe understood as he got a facefull of bloodmagic from the pissed off quest bed. It didn’t matter if it was a genetic disease or an expression of faulty and glitched gameplay. It didn’t matter if it was neither of them, if it was Karkat hating the world with the same fervor in which he hated himself until the bonds twisted and turned toxic inside of him.

Dave leaned forward and again pressed his lips to the troll’s forehead. Karkat was dead. 

**One.**

He was going to break the game. He would make Rose’s rampage across LALAR look like a child flattening a sandcastle. He would tear out the heart of Skia itself and breathe in the disaster that followed.

**Two. ******

********

Lord English cackled overhead, the orchestrator of all Dave’s woes. His feet lifted off of the ground as Caledscratch fell into his open palm. Time was screaming inside him, shaking with the threat of more dead Daves. 

********

He knew one thing. Caliborn was going to pay.

********

“Hey Aradia,” he said, flying next to her. “Need a hand?”

********

Her grave face was hard. Gears were turning in her eyes. “Dave,” she said. “I did not expect you.”

********

“What’s the damage?” He asked calmly, ice in his heart and running through his veins. He spun his timestables into being and started a remix with her own music boxes, something ticking and fast-paced.

********

She threw out another ring of time and Lord English pressed his ugly face right up against it. The surface thinned and pulsed as he fought to break into the timeline and Aradia again forced him back. Another alternate Dave appeared and died as Caliborn vented his frustration.

********

Dave wiped away the blood dripping from his nose with the back of one hand. 

********

The cherubim raged and hissed, teeth clacking from his skull of a face. “YOU CANNOT. RESIST ME.” He said, the words bubbled down through the window of time Aradia was baiting him with. 

********

“Uh huh,” Dave said, feeling time snapping in and out of place. Lord of Time Caliborn might have been, but he was still not Godtier. Dave and Aradia both were.

********

And Dave was alight with a cold fury, his grief just starting to howl against the cracks in his walls. 

********

“I think a fraymotif should work,” he said, extending one hand to the troll.

********

“I think there’s hell to pay,” the Maid answered viciously. Her burgundy eyes were on fire. “Let’s rip his heart out.”

********

“Right,” Dave agreed, and she took his hand as he plunged into the fraymotif.

********

/ **[Time to kill]** \

********

The beat of time matched itself to his heart, to the staccato beats pouring from his timestables as a wild music filled the air. Time was badly frayed, but it still obeyed the Knight and Maid. Dave weaponized time into a sharp bundle, he made time his blade, he held everything still as the entirety of the universe held its breath. 

********

This was the fatal flaw of Skia. Sburb forced players to stare straight into the face of impossible decisions with the burden of being expected to make the right one. It watched impartial as sessions failed and players died, then it instigated chances for them to come back even stronger. It heaped all of the shit of creation on the backs of children and said ‘look at this, look at these who dare to create a new universe. How very small they are,’ then went about the best ways to end them in its suicidal cycle of casual and ceaseless destruction. The universe did not want them to win.

********

But they stood up. They kept fighting. They took the hits as they landed and came up swinging. They had built this crazy amalgamation of a session out of a refusal to submit to the inevitable, and they had years of experience and strength behind them when it came to how best to break Skia’s impossible rules.

********

When it came down to it, with time fractured and broken around him, the Lord’s assault on the Alpha timeline nearly forcing the two Godtiered Heroes of Time into submission… Dave and Aradia fought back.  
They were not gods for nothing.

********

When the beat dropped he plunged his sword straight through the barrier of time between him and Caliborn. It’s face shattered like a clock’s, bleeding out seconds as he launched his own attack straight at the demon.

********

He might not be able to physically hit the Lord at this moment, but Dave could still make him pay.

********

Aradia’s time shields sprang forward, expanding rapidly to cover all of the Alpha timeline as Caliborn recoiled from Dave’s attack with a bloodcurdling scream. Time straightened itself back out as the demon lost his hold on it and was forced back. Dave made time fucking dance at his fingertips.

********

The music faded as the timeline stabilized, Caliborn forced back and away from the Alpha timeline and all of the alternate lines Aradia could pull to safety. With a snap the fraymotif stopped and Dave was thrown back into his body with a sickening lurch. 

********

The air was still. Reality was settling down from the chaotic madness of the Lord’s attack. The building stopped trying to shake itself apart.

********

They’d done it. For now, Caliborn was gone. His little dip into the Alpha timeline was over and the damage contained.

********

The danger had passed. 

********

Crushing grief crawled its way up the back of Dave’s throat in a sob. He could feel the tears streaming down his face.

********

**Three.**

********

Death was the beginning. The cycle turned onto its head, then started over again.

********

Below him, something began to happen.

********

Red light seeped across the stone slab. It danced and lifted through the air and teased through limp and bloody strands of Karkat’s hair. It nipped and sparked red fire at Dave before Aradia yanked him back as the quest bed exploded outward in hysteria, crying and screaming it’s clarion call to the heavens:

********

**_Power in the blood. Fight. Red bonds tie red bonds tie red bonds tie red bonds tie power bind passion fight family fight unity. Be bound and through binding be free. RED RELATIONSHIPS SKIA SGRUB BLEEDS OUT IN ENDLESS OCEANS RED RESPONSIBILITY THROUGH BLOOD- For thine is the kingdom by blood bloodbloodbloodblood **\-----------------------------------------------------**_ **

****

********

****

It came with a thunderclap, a full throated trumpet of triumph.

****

********

****

Rise up, Knight of Blood.

****

********

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	20. Chapter THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS THE HAPPY ENDING Y'ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Three Days Later. 

Jade stood in the air above the meteor, the Battleship in her pocket and the slowly revolving sphere of the earth below her. 

Dave stood at Karkat’s side and watched as Jade shrank the copy of his home planet they’d been on for nearly six months down to the size of a softball and then captchalouged the entire planet. Earth sorted itself out between LOLAR and LOFAF, hung in stasis. The moon, left with out it’s planet to orbit, shot off into the dark, lonely depths of the pocket dimension Jade had created. R-i- fucking-p. 

The light from the sun was unbearably strong in what used to be earth’s upper atmosphere. Karkat was silhouetted against the burning giant so that his shadow stretched out behind him in an endless string, then there was a fizzle, something dissolving, and then the moon was off like a rocket. The pocket dimension crumpled in on itself and erased all traces of existence from the fabric of reality. The meteor was left suspended against the empty starkness that was the void left behind by their failed sessions. Even the sun was gone. 

There was a moment of silence as Dave took in the new surroundings. It was darker here. Fuck, even the distant stars were dim. He could count each one as they went out and the darkness spread like a stain across the sky.

“Aww,” Dave complained to break the oppressive silence, watching the heavenly satellite veer into the unknown. “Jade, did you have to leave the moon behind?”

“I thought we were going to give earth a new moon?” Jade said, nodding at Rose. “One that’s habitable.”

“Yes,” Rose said, stepping forward. “That was the plan- we rewrite the solar system as a whole.”

“Yeah,” John said enthusiastically, grinning. “Let’s throw in a few more life-bearing planets.”

“The new universe we create will be fertile,” Jane said, standing next to the newly godtiered Roxy as she linked hands with Calliope. “This planet is just the beginning.”

“Don’t forget the consort planets,” Dave warned. “The Denizens will fucking eat us if we forget about them.”

“I won’t forget, like that’s possible,” Jade scoffed and the ring of planets between her hands vanished into her sylladex, safe from all harm. “Karkat?”

Dave swallowed thickly as Karkat stepped forward. “I’m ready,” Karkat promised, his red eyes glinting in the harsh light from the meteor walls. “Sollux?”

The goldblood tapped at some keys at the controlhub and the viewport feature of Trollian was suddenly reinstated for Karkat only. The screen showed a magical 3rd person view of the newly resurrected Knight of Blood, the cape accenting the compact line of his broad shoulders. All of the weight the troll had lost over the past few months had returned. There were no dark bags under his eyes and his footing was sure as he walked to the edge of the meteor roof to stand beside Jade. 

Dave desperately wanted to go to his side, to follow after them as Karkat left to go through with his crazy plan, but respect made Dave hold his tongue. This final battle was one that Dave couldn’t fight in. This was something that Karkat had to do alone.

Jade vanished with the crackle of green fire Dave had come to expect, taking Karkat with her. The viewport followed after the pair of them as Dave held his breath, then with a bleeding of color and shape the new setting took form around Karkat.

In front of the troll, locked together in a death-defying battle of aerial combat, were two carapacians. One’s carapace was white as snow, the other as dark as an oil spill as their sword’s sparked together with beastly growls. Red Miles ate the sky behind them in their wake, leaving existence wormy and riddled with holes across all the space they’d traveled through as PM and Jack Noir fought to the death.

Karkat considered the two substitute black and white monarchs as Red Miles ripped apart existence around him, then he sucked in a deep breath and yelled “SLICK!”

Jack Noir froze, a snarl rippling across the muzzle that Dave could remember streaked with blood. The sharp cut of his furry ears reminded him of Jade. 

Jack snarled wordlessly, his mind in a place beyond language as the corrupted gameboss battled to destroy his foe. The pair of them shot through a dusty planet, splitting apart the stone around them as magma poured out like blood from an open wound. The Miles took care of the rest of the planet, Karkat and Jade flying after them to match their insane pace, Jade moving like a ghost, Karkat determinedly flapping his new scarlet wings behind her.

“BAD DOG!” Jade yelled at them, scolding. PM put her ears back, her teeth bared as she tried to gut Noir one-armed, her regisword igniting fire through the vacuum around her.

“JACK!” Karkat yelled, shaking his fist at the dark carapacian. “SPADES SLICK, I KNOW YOU’RE FUCKING IN THERE, YOU COWARD! WE HAD A DEAL, REMEMBER?”

The carapacian stuttered in the air, glitching as reality warped around him before with a snarl he dove at PM again, swinging his regisword.

“No!” Karkat yelled, his face thunderous. “Stop that right the fuck now!”

The carapacian’s arm shook, but he carried through with a blow that would have beheaded PM had she not brought up her own blade to block him. The echoing crash of the regiswords colliding set of an explosion like a missile finding it’s target. Jack _howled_. 

Karkat squared his shoulders. “Jade, cover me,” he barked at her, gathering himself as Dave watched helplessly. 

The troll gathered together his new powers, red light bleeding from his hands, and then Dave could see the light stretch out through the air around the troll. It illuminated what looked like red strings that constantly shifted between ribbons and chains, stretching between all four of the people there and bleeding off them to disappear, bonds that stretched back to the rest of the players left behind on the meteor.

They were beautiful. Dave couldn’t help but wonder which one of the trailing red tendrils stood for him as Karkat squinted at the illuminated relationships. There was one thick one binding the two carapacians together, thick as the chains that once anchored the dreaming Moons to Derse and Prospit. The bond was sickened, ugly and corroded as Karkat eyed it and drew out his sickles. Red light flashed along the blades’ edges as Karkat jumped into motion, darting between the two battling monarchs to slash at the bond between them.

With a crack, the chain was severed. 

All of creation felt the rebound of power as Karkat snapped the line connecting the two carapacians. Dave felt the shudder that raced through the air, just a whisper of the power that Karkat had unleashed to snap the bond, protecting the two battling carapacians from themselves.

With the connection severed, the furious monarchs… _stopped_. For the first time in over three years, Peregrine Mendicant and Jack Noir weren’t at each other’s throats.

“Good,” Karkat said, huffing as Dave felt a surge of pride. 

Karkat tugged at one of the lies trailing off himself, one that was solidly linked to the dark carapacian. “Slick,” he said, “I know this isn’t you, not really, but Jack is a part of you and a long time ago, we made a deal. Now it’s time to fucking pay up.”

Jack’s ear twitched, his face in agony as Karkat tugged at the red rope between them. Jade and PM stared at each other wordlessly, their faces solemn.

“Take off your ring,” Karkat ordered. “Jack, Spades, I don’t give a fuck what you’re called anymore, you freakish amalgamation of all my worse daymares. Take it the fuck OFF!”

PM nudged at Jade, her eyes locked on Jack, her teeth still bared. The message was clear. _I will if he does._

Jack snarled, but the sound was confused, like he wasn’t sure why or at who to direct his anger. His hand closed into a fist and spasmed against his side, wings writhing as he struggled to overcome the corrupted coding Skaia had forced onto him. 

Karka decided for him, seizing the opportunity as he lunged for the ring. Jack didn’t fight him. His arm went limp as Karkat slid the ring free of his finger.

The black ears bled away. Those wide, sweeping wings crumbled. The green fire that writhed around Jack faded to reveal a scarred carapacian with one eye.

Dave blinked and the carapace had two eyes again, and his face looked different, colder, crueler. Then his form changed again, cycling through several different versions of the same character iteration as Karkat yanked on the bond between them until the Dersite settled into a black carapacian with one eye and one arm. Metal covered the missing limbs to form an arm that reminded Dave of the mechanical one Vriska had before she godtiered.

“Spades Slick,” Karkat gasped as the carapacian looked down at himself. “Is it really you?”

The Dersite blinked, his gaze softening. “Vantas,” he growled in a rough voice. “How’d you know I was locked in that game-spawned Skaian freak?”

“I could feel you,” Karkat answered, smug. “I could feel the bond we made.”

“Took you fuckin’ long enough,” Slick muttered, then he shrugged and nodded across Karkat’s shoulder at PM. “Calm yourself, dollface, I’m not the same Dersite you’ve been fighting so long.”

Peregrine Mendicant nodded, and she held out her hand to Jade, who slipped the ring from her finger. With a snap, an unusually tall Prospitian carapacian stood next to her. “Is it over?” She asked frantically. “Are we really free?”

“It’s over,” Karkat promised her. “You’re both free. Skaia has no hold over you anymore.”

The two previously warring carapacians shot each other a disbelieving look as Dave stared at the picture of Karkat through the screen and wished that he was at the other Knight’s side. 

Was this what a fully godtiered Knight of Blood could do? Stop warring monarchs when Dave had always thought the final battle to stop Jack would be to the death and be fought with swords and more death than he could imagine. But no, with a single word Karkat had erased all of that. 

_Holy shit_. 

“But what are we without Skaia’s influence?” PM asked sadly, shaking her head. “The White Queen promised me that everything would turn out okay!”

“It will,” Karkat assured her. “Wayward Vagabond is alive and with us. He’s been waiting for you all this time.” 

“He’s alive!” PM shrieked, flailing her arms. “That’s impossible- I watched as that monster,” here she shot a sour, hostile look at Slick, “Ripped his heart out after killing the rest of us Exiles.”

“The ghost of one of my friends who isn’t a ghost anymore healed him,” Karkat explained, grimacing. “Its complicated but I swear to you that he’s okay.”

“What about me, huh?” Slick asked, drawing a knife out of his sylladex. The movement flashed the barcode scar at his wrist that the Mayor always kept covered up. “I ain’t even originally a part of this universe. Skaia won’t let me stay here much longer without Paradox Space fucking me up.”

“Skaia is broken,” Karkat said. “Prospit and Derse, forges and frogs- everything is gone now. It’s just us 21 players from four different sessions existing in the featureless void created when reality ended, at war with an unkillable and unstoppable Lord of Time bent on our destruction.”

“Jesus fuck, Vantas,” Slick groaned. “You should of killed me then. What else is wrong?”

“Nothing,” Karkat grinned, his eyes flaring scarlet. “Everything is going exactly as planned…”  
…

 

Jade jumped the four of them back as Sollux deactivated the viewport feature once more. WV ran to meet PM, waving his tiny arms above his head as she bent down to embrace him, trying not to cry when she saw her old friend. 

Slick just scowled at where the rest of the players were waiting, made sure to flick them off, then he stabbed Karkat right between the ribs with his knife before the troll could move away. 

“Hey, ow!” Karkat complained, clamping one hand over the wound as Dave lunged forward with his sword out, aiming for who five minutes ago had been his worst enemy. “Cut that out, both of you,” Karkat ordered, waving off Dave’s concern. “I’m fine,” he said. “It’s just a friendly stabbing. That’s how he greets people.”

“Remind me not to say hello then,” Dave said grimly, checking the thin wound for himself. It wasn’t deep, and trolls were made of sterner stuff. Karkat would be fine even if he wasn’t godtier. 

Not that the fact made Dave feel better about the knife wound. He shot Slick a sour look, not trusting the unfamiliar carapace with Karkat’s hot blood smearing over his fingertips. 

Slick just shrugged and smiled a fanged smile at him that highlighted a mouth full of crooked teeth. 

“I thought you promised this guy wasn’t a villain,” Dave whispered to the troll as John greeted the Dersite. Slick didn’t dare stab him, Dave noticed as he tried to care for the wound. He’d had enough of Karkat’s blood on his hands to last for the rest of forever, and this small amount was still enough to make him sick. 

“He’s not,” Karkat said loudly back, grimacing as Dave brushed against the cut flesh. “Though calling him a good guy would probably be a lie.”

“Then why’d you bring him here?” Dave said. 

There was a shriek from the side, then a blur as MP Threw herself at Slick, sobbing. The startled dersite caught the prospititian dame on instinct, not recognizing her until one incredulous moment later. 

“Miss Paint?” Spades Slick asked, shocked, his rough voice softer than Dave had heard it so far. 

“Spades,” MP sobbed, clutching at him. “I thought you were dead.”

“Well, I thought you were dead,” Slick said, hugging her back. 

Karkat watched the two of them fondly. “That’s why I brought him back,” he said gently, nudging Dave with his arm. “I’m making sure that everyone get’s their happy ending.”  
…

 

It was Jade that set his session’s battlefield in the heart of Jane’s dead incipisphere. Their four player planets, plus Prospit and Derse, had been ravaged by Jack and PM’s battling, but even here amid the ruin of four broken sessions Skaia still spun her web of intricate gameplay realities in an endless loop. 

“And you promise that we only need to breed the right frog now?” John asked Calliope, watching the massive hole he’d carved to remove the Tumor slowly spin past him as Skaia rotated on it’s axis. 

The three Space players nodded enthusiastically. “Roxy has recreated the Matriorb,” Kanaya said with a grateful glance at the Void player. “All that’s left is… frog breeding!” she clasped her hands together with barely restrained excitement.

Jade decaptchalouged all of her ectobiology equipment from her sylladex. The mountain of equipment hit the meteor floor with a thud. “But this time we do it right,” Jade said, vowing to herself. 

“This time,” Calliope said, taking Roxy’s hand. “We do it together.”

“And how long will this take?” Dave asked, looking over the dusty equipment he hadn’t seen since before Jack had killed him for the first time. 

“Give us a week,” Calliope said, her voice smug. “Five days.”

“Are you saying that we could be in the new universe in only five fucking days?” Karkat asked excitedly, holding Dave’s hand in a grip tight enough to crush it. 

There was a suspicious lack of frogs in Jane’s incipisphere. Dave said as much out loud. “Not to burst anyone’s bubble,” he said, “But there’s no frogs left. We’re the last living things in all creation that exist outside of Jade’s sylladex. How will we be getting the frogs we need?”

Aradia laughed like wind chimes in the breeze. “Time travel!” She answered, beaming at him. “Are you ready?”

Of fucking course the answer was time travel. Dave should have suspected this because his life could never be easy could it?

“We’ll need frogs from at least three of the sessions,” Rose said, flipping through her notes. “Calliope, I’m not sure if it’s possible to gather frogs from yours.”

“Its okay,” the cherub said, her voice quiet. “There were no frogs in my session. My brother and I were never meant to create a new universe.”

Silence met her words, but Dave shrugged and moved on. He wasn’t questioning the cherubim, not after everything they’d been through. He’d just roll with it from now on. He’d had enough stress to last a lifetime.

“Okay,” Aradia said, turning to him, her red wings fluttering behind her. “Are you ready?”

Dave summoned his timestables and drew them back around to the beginning, waiting for Jade to give him the first round of coordinates. “I’m ready when you are,” he said, his heart trembling inside him as Jade read the first set of coordinates she and the other two Space players had spent weeks compiling for this exact moment.

Dave made the jump.

Time spun around him as he rewound the timeline back. He had frogs to hunt.  
…

 

Once, years ago, a younger Dave Strider had sat at his windowsill. He was all of ten years old and still in a pair of rip-off pointed shades he’d stolen/earned from his brother. 

Dave, the current Dave, watched himself and held his breath. He didn’t remember seeing any floating red-caped versions of himself, so being spotted would create an alternate timeline. He’d prefer to stay unseen as he floated outside of his window. The younger version of himself leaned out of the window, looking down as Dave held his breath. 

Dave remembered this day. He remembered the oddly spotted frog he’d saved from the crows; he remembered staring down at the ground and wondering if it was high enough, idly, not a serious thought but one that made him pause a moment to wonder.

The crows were screaming so loud, angry that Little Him had stolen the frog from them. The younger Dave covered his ears with his palms. 

Dave clucked his tongue in sympathy, the harsh cawing grating at his ears until he spotted the frog clinging to the inside lip of the windowsill. Bingo. 

Dave waited until the younger version of himself had turned around before he froze time, gently lifted the green spotted frog from his childhood windowsill, and then jumped back to the meteor with his heart in his throat. He looked so much younger at ten than any boy had a right to, small boned and thin, too ribby to be normal.

He dumped the squirming frog into Kanaya’s waiting hands and jumped back again as soon as Jade read him the next time and place, her voice excited and hurried. 

There was still so much work to do.

New universes were hard to create.  
…

 

Dave spent his days gathering frogs and his nights with Karkat, who had moved fully into Dave’s meteor room with him. That was probably what gave Dave the strength to do what he did next.

Dave jumped back in time, his Timestables singing under his skilled fingers as he went to the exact correct day and time. This… this wasn’t about frog breeding. 

It was his longest running timeloop, screaming to be closed. Today was the lucky day. 

It was April 13th, 2008. The game had started but his apartment was still a part of the unblemished skyline. The red sky wasn’t filled with fire quite yet. There was a little over an hour to go before the Reckoning really set in. Dave immediantly froze time to slip out of his apartment. 

There were a few reasons why he left that place like a bat out of hell. The first was that a younger Rose would be watching the younger him through her viewport and he couldn’t risk her seeing him. The second reason was, fuck, just standing back between those familiar walls felt like being suffocated. He had to get _out_. 

The sun felt like fire on his back as Dave settled in on a neighboring rooftop. It should be safe to watch from here as he spied on his apartment. 

He watched. Dave waited. 33 minutes and 46 seconds passed until he watched as his 13 year old self opened the door to the rooftop with a shitty sword in his hand, his own face expressionless as the pavement he knew he was about to get ground into. He remembered this particular beatdown, remembered wondering why Bro had gone easy on him. 

This was about to get bad. He wanted to close his eyes, to refuse to see what he knew was coming. 

What came next was hard to watch, but he forced himself to. He saw Bro before his younger self did, and he winced with sympathy when little Dave couldn’t block the incoming puppet blow. Lil’ Cal was back, attached to broad, muscular shoulders Dave hadn’t seen in over three years. His stomach churned at the sight of his now-alive brother.

Dave felt sick as he watched the strife unfold with morbid curiosity, matching his memories to what he saw. Were they all this bad? Fuck, he’d thought this was an easy battle but watching it in 3rd person with an extra three years worth of perspective made the gritty reality that much fucking darker than how the scene had unfolded in his memories. 

Young dave took a hit to the jaw and went down. Dave nearly bit his own tongue out from restraining himself from flying down there sword-first to stop the strife. 

God, Dave had been so small back then. He hadn’t stood a chance against Bro, terrified out of his mind but determined to win, to get the game disks and save his friends. This shitshow of a beatdown had been worth it back then. 

His fists were clenched. This was the hardest thing Dave had ever done, ad he was forced to do nothing but watch as his younger self got his ass handed to him on a silver fucking platter. 

Dave held his breath until Bro fucked off god knows where on Unreal Air after tossing down the two copies of SBURB onto the beaten Dave’s bruised chest. Dave wanted so badly to go to himself, to offer comfort and support, but no. He couldn’t. That Dave had more important things to do that converse with an older timeself.

His gaze was locked on the retreating back of Bro, flying off into the fucking sky in a sick nasty move on Unreal Air. This was eight hells of unreal as Dave felt his feet lift off the rooftop, silently following after his brother. 

Of course Bro must have noticed him; that man noticed everything, but he ignored Dave completely until Dave was close enough to speak. “Hey,” Dave called out, his voice hard. “Do you know me?”

Bro didn’t freeze, but he did turn around. His ballcap was pulled low over his shades and there was nothing of Dirk in this man’s cold face. Dave felt his heart kick into fifth gear, beating wildly as he sensed a danger ingrained into him even after all these years as he felt Bro look at him. His skin crawled with the sensation. 

“Dave,” Bro said, unsuprised as he watched the red-caped Hero of Time fly up to meet him. “You know, I always wondered if you’d jump back to see me.”

“So you knew I was time,” Dave said, equally unsuprised as his guardian displayed such easy game knowledge. 

“I’m no moron,” bro said, his voice and face completely ureadable. “And if you’re here today of all days, then I don’t survive for much longer.”

“You don’t,” Dave acknowledge it only because he couldn’t deny it. 

Bro grunted and shifted in place. “Do you kill me?” He asked. There was absolutely zero emotion in his voice. 

It was a fair question. Bro certainly deserved it. By rights Dave should be the one to kill him but that wasn’t what he was here for. Plus from the twisting feeling of nausea in his belly Dave knew he could never actually hurt his brother, not even now. 

“No,” Dave answered, swallowing thickly. “You die a hero’s death. It’s more than you deserve.”

Bro just grunted again, expressionless. Dave hated it. _He hated this_.

“I’m not here to kill you,” Dave forced out as time pulled at him with incessant fingers, demanding that he close the loop. “I’m here to tell you what to do next.”

“Why should I listen to you?” Bro asked, his voice deadly soft, the volume it got only when things were about to get bad. 

“Because I am ordering you to,” Dave said, his voice unflinching. “Because if you don’t, you’ll see me again and then I won’t be so friendly.”

“You think you’re the shit now that you’ve grown up?” Bro challenged, scoffing. “You might have aged a few years and put of some fucking muscle at last but you still look like a twink. You don’t give the orders here.”

Dave wasn’t afraid, not anymore. The twink comment didn’t even hit the nerve that made all of his senses leave him spiraling into a panic. Dave was calm as a storm right before the rain. “Actually, I do,” he said, his voice hard. “Do you really want to find out why?”

Smaller meteors were staring to fall. Dave saw the smoke of fires in the distance. Somehow the heat became even more scorching.

There was a long moment that passed between them. Maybe it was the white Caledscratch that Dave held in his hand only because he knew Bro would never listen to him unless he was holding a weapon because the only times he’d ever cared about what Dave had to say were when he was armed, maybe it was simple the way he held himself unbowed and strong and unbroken by the years of abuse he’d suffered at the hands of the man that stood before him, but as the moment stretched on Bro didn’t answer. 

Bro just stood there, waiting for the orders. 

Dave held his breath as he waited for Bro to challenge him, but, incredibly, Bro backed down from the challenge. His brother didn’t even threaten him. 

“There’s a meteor coming,” Dave told him, not wanting to wait to rationalize what was happening. He would fulfill the timeloop and be done with this man forever. “It’s going to hit the apartment and kill me, so you’re going to stop it.”

“How?”

“You’ll think of something,” Dave said, remembering how the sky had looked as Bro split the meteor in half with his sword. It had been, at the time, the most awesome thing Dave had ever seen.

And it also hadn’t made any fucking sense. Why would Bro have saved him? Why would Bro have rescued his slow, uncoordinated ass from a fate he deserved? It hadn’t made any sense. Now, years later, Dave was getting his answer because at the end of the day the only person who had ever looked out for him back then had been himself. 

Bro’s single redeeming moment was crumbling like ash in the wind. With the loss of that one act, Dave couldn’t recall anything worthwhile about his guardian that wasn’t coated in shit. Somehow, it was a freeing realization. 

Dave didn’t owe this man anything. More importantly, he didn’t want anything from Bro. Not recognition, not love, not even a fucking apology- Dave was done with wanting impossible things from Bro. 

“Anything else?” Bro asked, his voice just sarcastic enough for Dave to know he wasn’t imagining it. He could see a shadow in the sky, a burning light like the sun, falling. The meteor was just as big as he remembered and every bit as deadly. 

“Yes,” Dave said, his heart in his throat. “Goodbye.”

Dave jumped back to his proper time before Bro could answer. He’d said all he needed to say.

Dave fell into Karkat’s waiting arms, already shaking as the adrenaline in his system began to wear off.

“Dave!” Karkat yelped as Dave fell into him, the breath whooshing out of the troll as Dave knocked him back onto the bed. “Dave, breathe.”

“I am,” Dave answered back, breathless. His blood felt cold as all of the emotions he’d been forcing himself not to feel crashing to the front of his brain with a cymbal smash of noise and distraction. Fuck. 

“I’ve got you,” Karkat said, squeezing him. “I’m here. I’ve got you.”

“I,I…I,” Dave stuttered. “I saw him. Bro.” That was all he could force out at the moment. His heart was racing like it would tear itself out of his chest. He couldn’t feel his face. 

“I know,” Karkat said, embracing him. “It’s okay, you’re okay. I’ve got you.”

Dave blinked and his eyes felt stiff as he pulled off the shades that suddenly reminded him too much of Bro. The sudden increase in lighting made him squint in pain before he buried his bare face against Karkat’s chest, hiding his eyes. 

“Shhhhh,” Karkat shooshed, his voice a gentle purr. 

Dave held onto him, grasping at the living Karkat before him, restored to the non- dying self image that Karkat held himself in. There was no miraculous healing. It didn’t matter if the sickness had been a mutation or a game thing- Skaia had wiped Karkat’s new body clean.

Dave clutched at him, struggling to regain the use of his limbs as he cried until he had no more tears left to give. 

Karkat held him for the entire time, and the confession was right on the tip of Dave’s tongue, a confession to all the worst things that he’d had done to him. The puppets. The cameras. The swords and bruises that wouldn’t go away. How everything had escalated until he was being watched constantly, feeling unsafe in his own bed, a bed that Bro hadn’t respected any more than he respected the rest of Dave’s scarce belongings. 

The porn, dead god, the porn. Everything that had happened on and off camera sat heavy on the tip of Dave’s tongue, but he couldn’t bear to break like that, to have Karkat see him as used even if that made no sense and deep down he fucking knew that Karkat wouldn’t fucking care- he couldn’t. 

So instead Dave cried until he was out of tears and he swallowed down his confession. There would be time for that can of bullshit worms later.

Right now they still had a game to win.  
…

 

Terezi was in her room below the basement of the lab, her face streaked with the dried remains of teal tears. She hadn’t been locked up for murdering Karkat. Everyone knew what that seal that had appeared on her face had meant. 

Caliborn had turned the Seer of Mind into a puppet figure and had used her hands to kill the closest player to her he could have. She’d tried to kill Gamzee too, and then Sollux when he’d restrained her with psionics. 

Dave hadn’t really known what to do with the possessed troll. Normally he’d call for Terezi to fix any kind of mind control, but when it was Terezi herself affected he was suddenly clueless as for what to do. 

Dirk had stepped up then. The Heart player had removed the splinter of Caliborn lodged in Terezi’s psyche and then destroyed it. Dave hadn’t been there to watch; he was busy with frog breeding duties and besides, he now trusted Dirk enough to let him handle things on his own.

Dave went to visit Terezi afterwards. She was in her room, which Dave hadn’t been in for months. 

Terezi was alone and in the dark, curled onto her makeshift sleeping platform like a feral cat. Her blind red eyes glowed in the darkness. “Dave?”

He closed the door behind him. “It’s me,” he said, warily approaching her. 

She sniffed and turned away. “Why are you here?”

“You can’t hide in your room forever,” he told her. Dave sat down beside her and she curled away from him. “No one blames you for what happened.”

“I know,” Terezi said miserably. “But it happened. I killed him. I killed Karkat.” She hiccuped and the tears began again, silent, sticky reminders of the pain she was feeling.

Dave couldn’t imagine what that must be like. He considered his options. “Did I ever tell you that during the battle with the HIC I nearly killed Gamzee?” he said, just to change the subject.

“You did not,” Terezi hissed, shocked. 

“I nearly did,” Dave admitted, looking at the floor. “But that just wasn’t me.”

“It wasn’t me either,” Terezi said, desperate. “I would never have done that to Karkat! Never!”

“I know.” Dave said. “Terezi, everyone already knows. Karkat forgave you before he even understood what had happened.”

“Karkat forgave me only because he can’t bring himself to hate me,” Terezi said, her voice small and cold. “He’s too good of a person for that.”

“Terezi,” Dave tried to reach her, vying for a way in past the walls she’d put up around her heart. “Once in this very meteor, you found me in my room and slapped the fear of god into me with a thunderclap of common fucking sense, remember?”

That was before he’d been able to admit to himself that he liked Karkat and had still been doggedly pursuing Terezi to distract himself from his own feelings. She’d been quick to set him straight about how non-straight he’d been. 

Terezi didn’t smile, but she did turn to him. “I remember,” she said quietly. “Is this you returning the favor, coolkid?”

“Maybe,” Dave said, choosing his next words carefully. “I know that it feels like you’ve been violated,” he said gently. “I know that it feels like you can’t fit inside your own skin anymore.”

Dave couldn’t imagine what it must be like to have experienced an intrusion in his mind like what she had gone through. It must be awful. 

She was quick to turn the statement around on him. “You do know, don’t you?” Terezi asked, and his heart cinched tight. “You’re the only one who’d know.” She said.

Dare he say anything else?

“… Yes,” Dave said, cutting the word short. “I know what it’s like to be violated.”

There, the truth was out. he waited an instant for the fucking sky to crash don on him but nothing happened. Terezi didn’t even look fucking surprised. 

“You’re talking about your lusis,” Terezi guessed tiredly. “I’d kind of figured that out by now.”

“I guessed that you did,” Dave said, telling her when he hadn’t told anyone else, not even Karkat, because it was what she needed to hear. Besides, Karkat didn’t need to be told when he’d already guessed everything important on his own. The details were irrelevant. “I kind of made it obvious after my meltdown over Dirk appearing.”

“That wasn’t your fault,” Terezi said, taking the bait. 

“And this wasn’t your fault either,” Dave said, trapping her with her own logic. 

“Dave,” she sighed. “How do you deal with it? How can you get out of bed in the morning knowing what was done to you? How do you get over not trusting yourself anymore?”

“Some days I can’t,” he answered truthfully. “Some days it’s easier that others and some days it’s so bad that it feels like I'm choking.” 

He still had nightmares where he’d wake up choking around the ghost of puppet dick, his hips burning with the memory of fingerprints. He still pulled away sometimes when Karkat kissed him or set a hand on his waist, locked up and frozen with an ingrained fear he still couldn’t erase.

“Its gets better with time,” Dave said, pulling his head out of old memories. “But you’ve got to make an effort to move past this or it’ll destroy you.”

“How?” She asked, shuddering. “I keep smelling the look on his face when he saw that it was my blade in his back. I can’t stop smelling the blood.”

“Why don’t you come talk to him?” Dave asked softly. “Come see that he’s alright and alive and breathing. Let those memories take over the bad ones.” Outnumbering the bad memories was always a good thing. Maybe one day that meant he wouldn’t pull away from Karkat when things were getting too far. Maybe one day he’d be strong enough for that. 

“And that works?” Terezi asked, sniffling. “Surrounding yourself with good memories?”

“It certainly helps,” Dave answered, and the troll nodded to herself like that made sense. 

“If it helps,” she repeated, standing with a sudden surge of energy that startled Dave. “I’ll do it. But,” She said raising one finger at him. “I want to do it alone.”

“I understand,” Dave answered, and then he repeated the words shed once said to him. “Now, Terezi, go get him.”  
...

It took three more days from him and Aradia to gather all of the necessary frogs and for the three space players to combine their genetics to spawn the correct universe tadpole, aptly named Adagio Sirrus. It was Calliope who led the final charge and actually created the frog. Then all that was left to do was... let the basket-ball sized tadpole grow. 

And grow. 

And grow.  
…

 

turntechGodhead (TG) began Pestering turntechGodhead (TG) at time unknown!

TG: hey  
TG: hey yourself  
TG: how did it go?  
TG: awful.  
TG: im glad its over with i never wanted to see him again for any reason much less to fufill some timeloop bullshit that im forced into  
TG: But it had to be done.  
TG: would you have wanted to see him?  
: god no  
TG: exactly  
TG: so hey. its over now isnt it? were free?  
TG: You’re free. Skia has no bosses left to fight and as long as we keep Lord English out of the Alpha timeline everything will be okay  
TG: thats great and all but i couldnt help but notice  
TG: you didnt say we  
TG: It’s… complicated.  
TG: well then uncomplicated it  
TG: shit man i just had to face bro and on top of that i might have let it slip to terezi that wed been violated or something along that line so i have had a day  
TG: uncomplicated it  
TG: shit really you told TZ? How did that go, exactly?  
TG: youre trying to distract me but im not allowing that right now  
TG: whats going on with you  
TG: Dave, I am a sprite. I’m not meant to exist outside of the game.  
TG: What’s going to happen to me when you create the new universe? will I disappear? Will I not be allowed through the gate?  
TG: Because I have a Theory on what will happen.  
TG: I think that I am going to die, Dave.  
TG: what  
TG: no no  
TG: no thats bullshit that cant be possible  
TG: Sprites don’t get to live outside of SBURB. We’re game things, lower than the consorts. We don’t get to live. I know that. it’s part of my inner sprite knowedge bullshit that’s right now scaring the shit ut of me and on top of that…  
TG: I… I havn’t told Jade yet. I’m afraid too.  
TG: holy fuck Davesprite  
TG: are you sure?  
TG: pretty fucking sure  
TG: but  
TG: no  
TG: no no no  
TG: okay hear me out.  
TG: i wont argue against your magical sprite knowledge so if you say sprites dont get to go to the new universe thats probably correct, but did you forget that youre not just a sprite?  
TG: youre coded as a player too. Youre me. we both get to go into the new universe, you just have some extra bits youre dragging along for the ride.  
TG: I… I don’t know if that’s how it works Dave. I’m at the end of my ‘magical sprite bullshit’ and I don’t know what to do next or whats coming and its freaking me the fuck out.  
TG: ok calm down  
TG: breathe  
TG: if anything we can sneak you past the gate in jades sylladex just like the denizens and the consort planets  
TG: if that works for them itll work for you, and thats only if im wrong and your player coding doesnt override your sprite coding when it comes to new universe privileges.  
TG: Do you really think that that will work?  
TG: it will.  
TG: it has to.  
TG: IT WILL. look at me typing in all caps shit karkats wearing off on me but you get the fucking point davesprite  
TG: youre going to be just fine ok? none of us will let anything bad happen to you  
TG: Thank you. I needed to hear that.  
TG: now go talk to jade about hiding out in her freakishly alive sylladex  
TG: will do  
TG: and dave?  
TG: yeah?  
TG: I love you bro. thanks for letting me stick around  
TG: I love you too  
…

 

It was nighttime, maybe. It was hard to tell with the complete and utter lack of sun, but it was dark and Dave was tired of being awake. That constituted it being nighttime pretty damn well, and besides, his internal clock was never wrong. 

Karkat was still awake as Dave settled into his bed. The troll was at his computer, typing away with fast-paced fingers, claws tapping away at the Alternian keys. 

“What are you working on?” Dave asked, yawning. 

Karkat paused and the sound of the furious typing stopped. “Do you ever think,” he asked, “that things are suspiciously okay? That somehow some great motherfuckery is waiting for us just on the other side of this happy moment?”

Dave closed his eyes. “All the damn time,” he answered. “Thoughts like that keep me up at night.”

“Are you having them right now?” Karkat asked curiously, his voice sad. 

Dave opened his eyes to stare at the troll. Karkat’s cape was hanging off his broad shoulders, outlining the strong, steady line of them. The sleeves of the red Knight’s outfit he wore ended at the wrist to reveal strong calloused hands. Karkat’s face was hale and whole- gone was the shadow of sickness and the pale death that had not so long ago crept across his beloved features. Dave just sat there on his bed and fucking took in the view. 

“No,” Dave answered, his eyes full of nothing but the sight of the healthy, breathing Karkat that stood before him. “Right now I’m too busy being caught up in one of those happy moments to notice anything that exists outside of this exact second.”

Karkat swallowed thickly, Dave heard it from across the room. “That’s not what I meant,” Karkat said stubbornly. “I’m trying to look beyond this happiness to better anticipate what’s coming.”

“Do you really think that there’s something coming for us?” Dave asked curiously, not able to rouse any feelings of danger within himself. 

“There has to be,” Karkat said. “There’s always been something coming for me.”

Dave sat upright in bed, worry crowding in the bliss he’d been laying in. “Karkat,” Dave asked. “Come here?”

The troll huffed in annoyance, but he left the husktop behind as he approached Dave. 

Dave reached out and grabbed at Karkat, yanking him down onto the bed with him. The troll screeched with indignation loud enough to rattle Dave’s eardrums at the unexpected movement as Dave all but tackled him into the mattress. 

“What the fuck, what the FUCK, Dave?!” Karkat complained.

Dave didn’t answer. Instead he clung to the troll with sleepy limbs. He’d been doing a lot of clinging the past few days; he couldn’t help it. Any time Karkat came within arm’s reach Dave just had to reach out and touch him, to make sure he was okay and alive and here. 

Here. Karkat was alive and okay, godtiered up to a full Knight of Blood with the Quest Bed Roxy had stolen from the game. A part of Dave still couldn’t believe it and he guessed that a part of Karkat still didn’t either. That must be the part where all these negative feelings were coming from. 

“Here,” Dave said, his head on Karkat’s chest to hear the troll’s heart pounding. “Right here, in this moment, there is not one thing that can go wrong.”

Karkat laughed nervously and pushed him off. “You’re pandead with joy,” he complained again. “All of you are- that’s the problem.”

“Why?” Dave asked. 

“Because,” Karkat answered stiffly, not giving up that easily as Dave began to move in again. “Jade says that we’re going to win this game within the next few days.”

“And?” Dave asked, brushing his lips up the side of the troll’s neck. 

“And,” Karkat continued, leaning his head back to bare his throat to Dave’s lips with a small groan. “Caliban is still out there. Who knows what other bullshit Skaia can and will throw at us?”

“Skaia is dead,” Dave told him, breathing across the rim of one ear. “SBURB is nearly over with. We’re free.”

“And I suppose Jade will cast the Rings of Power into the Forge,” Karkat said with all of the sarcasm he could muster with Dave’s mouth creeping closer. His hands tangled in Dave’s hair. “And the frog will be born to create a new universe and we’ll all get to go into it and live our happy ever after.”

Dave kissed him lightly, just a peck. “And what’s wrong with that?” He asked. “Don’t we deserve our happily ever after after all of the shit we’ve been through?”

I thought that once,” Karkat admitted, his voice small. “Then the gate exploded in my face and Jack killed me where I stood, then I came back only to find out a bunch of hairless pink aliens had ruined everything for us.” This last bit was said playfully aas Karkat mock-growled at him. 

“Maybe we did and maybe we didn’t,” Dave said, unabashed. “We’ll never know what caused the game to turn on us.”

“Ha,” Karkat said darkly. 

“It wasn’t you,” Dave said, hugging the troll around the middle just to feel him breath. He didn’t want to ever let go. “Karkat?”

“What?”

There was so much that he could have said. They'd been through so much. But here, at the end, in the peace and quiet of their shared room, there was only one thing left to say.

“I love you,” Dave said. This time it didn’t trouble him to say it out loud. “I love you so much.”

Karkat gave up the fight and snuggled down beside him, purring. “Dave,” he said. “I love you too.”

“I know,” Dave said, and everything was right with the world and earth was safe and Karkat was okay and there was nothing else that could possible ruin this moment as Dave finally pressed his lips to Karkat’s.  
…

 

The end of SBURB was here. Skaia had one last Final Alchemy to work with before ending forever.

They’d done it. They’d fucking done it. 

All 21 SBURB players, plus Davesprite, Hal, and the four carapacians, stood on the winner’s platform. Dave was bathed in warm blue light, the portal shimmering in the air of space as Skaia rotated behind it. 

It had taken nearly four years, but they were here. They’d done it, and they hadn’t even permanently lost anyone to get to this point. Their miracle was here and all that was left to do was claim it. 

The gateway to the new universe was beautiful, but what was awaiting them on the other side would be even more beautiful. 

And Dave would have Karkat right there beside him for all of it. He watched with his heart in his throat as each of the players and the carapacians stepped through one by one and vanished into the new universe.  
Dave took Karkat’s hand tightly in his own as together they stepped through the gateway and into the new world, certain that they would have forever to spend it together.

<3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wrote this entire chapter today, all 8k+ words.
> 
> I kept starting it, then deleting it, then starting again, and etc as i tried to find the right way to end this. There's still parts about this fic i'm unsure of, but god what a journey it was. 
> 
> and so ends my current longest work. I'm free of this two-year long pit that was this fic and honestly i procrastinated wirting the end because even though i know this fics a dumpsterfire i can;t help but love it.
> 
> thanks for sticking around for the ride- TC, Ari
> 
> and to my sister, reading this, thanks especially for you, AG

**Author's Note:**

> Beginnings are hard and I suck at them. This is the shortest chapter by far. I promise I’ll get the ball rolling next time now that the exposition is out of the way. 
> 
> Can you feel it? This fic is going to be something else. It contains my actual Davekat-shipping soul woven into the words of this fic.
> 
> This fic has been over a year in the making and at last it's ready to go. The wait is over and I've been teasing followers of my work enough so here it is.
> 
> Also, mind the tags. Like all my fics I really, really mean them. Be forewarned.


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